by Peak, Renna
But his actions had been so selfish. He'd left me, whether it was to get out from under the thumb of my father or not. He'd left me and it had been his choice.
I shook my head at him and held my death grip on the chair. "I need time to think about this, Daniel. I just need time to process this. You've been dead for fifteen months."
He nodded. "I know. I should have done it differently, I know I should have. I just couldn't think of how to do this any differently. I wanted you here to see the house. At least come and see the house with me."
I shook my head again. "No."
He tilted his head down at me and it was impossible not to see the disappointment on his face. "This was supposed to be romantic, Jenna. I had it all planned out. I was going to sweep you off your feet." It almost seemed like he was getting angry with me. Angry that I hadn't responded in the way he had expected.
This felt like the least romantic thing, ever. "I don't think there was any way this could have been romantic. You've been dead and I've moved on."
"I know that isn't true. I know there hasn't been anyone else."
I nodded my head. Brandon had made sure that there was. I wondered what he had hoped to gain out of this situation. "I need time to think. Just please let me have time to process all of this. It's too much." I stood up from the plush chair.
He stood up, too. "I need you back in my life, Jenna. It's been too long already."
I backed around the chair to increase the distance between us again. There was no way I was letting him touch me. "I just need to think, okay?"
He nodded and didn't come toward me again. "Don't make me wait too long, Jenna. I love you. I can't be without you."
It seemed like he had a strange way of showing it.
3
"You're sure there are no seats?"
I'd never thought of myself as an unlucky person, but my luck since coming to Japan had sucked. I leaned against the airport counter, but couldn't see around the high desk to the screen the ticket lady was looking at.
"I'm afraid not, miss. I can get you a flight to New York today, if you would like." The young woman forced a smile at me.
"Nothing in California?"
She shook her head, keeping the forced smile on her lips.
"Anything on the west coast?" I could drive back to San Francisco, maybe. Anything would be better than staying another second in Japan.
"Many convention goers are on these flights, miss. I can get you a flight tomorrow." She tapped her fingers on the keys of the computer. "I can get you a flight to Hawaii today, but only first class is available. Very expensive."
I sighed. I could not have cared less about the price—I just wanted to put as much distance between me and the freak show that had just happened as possible. But I couldn't drive to San Francisco from Hawaii. I decided to just go for it and I slapped my credit card on the counter. "I'll take it. Just get me back to the U.S." I could get a flight out of Honolulu back to San Francisco in the next day or two. I was sure of it.
She nodded and typed in the information from my passport. She gave me my boarding pass and ticket and I hurried out of the ticket line to get through security.
The plane was already boarding when I got to the gate and I took my seat near the front of the plane. It was nice that first class wasn't too full and I had the row to myself.
I leaned back into the leather seat and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath, thinking about what had just happened—still really not believing any of it at all. The past few days had been unreal—a nightmare. If anyone had told me a few days ago that I'd have moved on from my dead fiancé and then found him alive in Japan, I would have told them they were crazier than I was.
I needed to check my email, to connect with Mel and make sure that I wasn't the one that was going crazy. Not having my phone was bad enough—now I didn't have my laptop either. I'd left the hotel with only my purse and the clothes on my back. I hadn't even remembered dropping my briefcase in the lobby of the hotel until I was in the taxi on the way to the airport. They were just things, and things didn't matter. At least that was what I was telling myself.
The seat in front of me had a screen with an entertainment system on it that I couldn't figure out. I just wanted to check my email and tell Mel I'd be calling her when I got to Hawaii. I needed to make contact with someone—the desperation of feeling like I was losing my grip on reality was beginning to overwhelm me.
The flight attendant came to my seat and asked if she could get me anything while we were waiting to take off. She showed me how to use the screen to check my email—it was hidden under a tab that I never would have guessed was for the internet. I fiddled with the touch screen and tried to enter my password into the email program, but I kept hitting the wrong keys. I was still a little shaky from everything that had happened.
All of this seemed to amuse the young flight attendant. She finally looked at me and I saw the look of recognition on her face immediately. "Hey, you're Jenna Davis, aren't you?"
I gave her a weak smile and continued to press at the screen. "Yep, in the flesh."
She sat down in the empty seat next to mine. "This is going to sound really dumb, but I feel like we grew up together. I remember reading your interviews in the teen magazines when I was in middle school. You seemed so down to earth and real. I always thought we would have been friends if you went to school with me."
I turned to her with a smile. "Thanks. I'm sure we would have." I never knew what to say when people said stuff like that. My mom and dad had always had me in the spotlight when I was younger and I had never been very comfortable with it—not that anyone ever knew anything about me that my parents didn’t want everyone to know. It was just weird, being recognized all the time. After I went to college, I was allowed a little more privacy, but things like this seemed to happen at least once a week. I just wasn't cut out for fame, even though it wasn't my fame that people cared about most of the time.
She grinned as though I had just made her day. "I've been a huge supporter of your dad's." There it was—the real reason anyone gave a damn about Jenna Davis. "I'm Josie, by the way."
I smiled again. "Nice to meet you, Josie." I turned back to the screen and finally got my password to work. There were six unread messages from Mel.
"You know, I'd love to work on his campaign. I'd be willing to do anything. He's done so much for California and he's going to be such a great president…"
I opened the first message from Mel, which pretty much just called me an idiot for forgetting my phone. I turned back to her, smiling. "Oh, he's not running, not this time. Maybe in four years depending on who's elected."
She tilted her head down at me. "Are you sure? I heard he's announcing next week."
I shrugged and opened the next email. Mel asked what she should bring with her to Tokyo and if I thought she should bring a pillow. Right, because there are no pillows in Tokyo. "Well, he hasn't said anything to me about it."
Another passenger called her over and she excused herself. The next message from Mel was a little more strange.
Jenna, something weird is going on. I'm not going to Tokyo now. Call me when you get this. —Mel
Yeah, something was weird alright. That fucker Robert was what was weird. I swore, if I ever saw the man that sold me out ever again, I'd kill him with my bare hands. The thought that my own boss would sell me out to Brandon made me want to murder him.
I opened the fourth message.
Jenna, call me please. I'm worried about you. —Mel
I was worried about me, too. I couldn't even fathom what I was going to tell her. How do you start an email like that anyway? Hey Mel, guess what? Daniel isn't really dead—he faked his suicide so he could build me a house in Japan. And oh yeah, I fucked his friend before I knew he was still alive.
Yeah.
I opened the fifth email and I could tell she was getting desperate.
Jenna, my dad thinks I was involved with this Tomojii mess. Can you
please at least call me and tell me you're alive? I'm not sure what's going on and I'm worried. Nothing is making sense. CALL ME!
I took a deep breath and opened the last email.
Jenna, dad fired me. Can you believe this bullshit? What the hell am I going to do? He thinks I'm involved in whatever it is you're up to over there and no one has been able to reach you. You never checked into your hotel and everyone is freaking out. Can you please just call before they have the CIA out looking for you? You need to tell me what the hell is going on. I think if you tell my dad I had nothing to do with this Tomojii account he'll give me my job back, but right now he's so pissed he can't see straight. I need your help! Please!
I took a deep breath and hit the reply button.
Mel, I'll be back on Sunday. Some weird shit is going down and I can't talk about it in email. I'm fine and I'll do what I can to help you get your job back. I'm sorry you got involved in this. —Jen
I knew she would freak out that I had signed it 'Jen.' No one but Brandon called me that, but it was starting to grow on me.
Josie came back to my seat and looked down at me with a smile. "I hope I wasn't being too forward before. I was a little star struck."
I shrugged and tried to smile again. "You're fine. I wasn't trying to be rude—it's been a long few days for me."
She grinned. "Can I bring you anything before we take off? A drink or something to eat?"
My stomach growled in response. I still hadn't eaten anything in a long time. "Some water would be great. And whatever you have to eat would be great, too."
She nodded and told me she'd be right back. I leaned back into my seat and closed my eyes again. I was hungry and my emotions were completely drained. I didn't think I'd even be able to feel anything close to normal ever again.
I opened my eyes when she returned a few minutes later. She handed me a bottle of water and a plate with something warm.
"What is it?" My stomach didn't care—it grumbled again in protest. I just wanted something to eat.
"Just coffee cake. I can't serve breakfast until we're in the air." She gave me a weak smile. "If you don’t like it, we have cinnamon or chocolate, too. You just seemed like a lemon and raspberry type of girl to me."
I smiled to myself. I was definitely a lemon and raspberry type of girl.
4
It was late when the plane landed. My body was messed up three ways from Sunday from the jet lag that I had never recovered from in the short time I had been in Japan.
I had no idea where I was going when I got into the cab. I gave the driver the name of a resort that Josie had recommended as somewhere quiet and near the beach. I knew I'd need to be back in San Francisco to deal with the aftermath of the trouble I'd gotten myself into with Brandon. I knew my mind could really use a day or two at the beach before I had to return to face my real life.
I checked into the resort and went up to my room. It was strange having no luggage or even a bag other than my little purse. I unlocked my room with the card key and took off my jacket. I'd have to buy new stuff at the gift shop in the morning, but it was too late that night for anything to be open.
I sat on the side of the bed and thought about the call I knew I needed to make. I must have sat there for a half an hour just thinking about what I would say.
I did a quick calculation of the time difference. I took a deep breath and dialed the phone.
A familiar voice answered the other line. "Office of Senator Patrick Davis. This is Evelyn. How can I help you?"
I took another deep breath. "Hi, Evelyn, it's…"
"Jenna!" she interrupted. "How are you sweetheart?" Evelyn and I had been as close as a mother and daughter when I'd been growing up. She'd been my dad's office assistant since he'd first been elected to the senate.
I smiled despite myself. "I've been better. Is he in this morning?"
"He is," she chirped. "He's in a meeting. Should I interrupt him?"
"As long as it isn't foreign relations." He hated being interrupted during his foreign relations meetings.
"Oh, it's not. Let me see what I can do. Hang on a second, okay?"
His voice came on the line before I expected it to—before I was really ready for it. "Jenna."
I could tell by his tone that I was in trouble. "Hi, dad."
I heard him sigh. "You weren't supposed to find out."
My chin quivered at his words. "You knew?"
"Of course I knew. He violated the terms of our agreement. There was to be no further communication with you."
I nodded, not that he could see me. "Dad, I…"
"Jenna, I can't do this right now. Your mother and I will be in San Francisco on Monday. You have an appointment with your mother at ten. You'll meet me for dinner at seven sharp. I'll send a car to your apartment. Is that clear?"
"Dad, I'm in Hawaii…"
"I know where you are, Jenna. Take a few days and get your head together. I can't have you having a breakdown right now. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"I want you back in your apartment by Sunday night. And I don't want to hear that you've had any contact with Sato or Richardson. Is that clear?"
"You… you knew?"
"I know everything, Jenna." I heard him sigh again.
Tears stung at my eyes and I forced them back. My own father had betrayed me, too. He knew about Daniel. He had known all along. "You knew what was going to happen this week? You knew what they were planning?"
"Jenna, I didn't know they were planning this, no. I didn't catch wind of it until after you were on the ground in Osaka. If I could have stopped it I would have. My reach doesn't extend to Japan as much anymore. But this will be taken care of in good time. I just want to make sure you're not going to do anything hasty."
Hasty? What the hell did he think I was going to do? I could think of a lot of things I wanted to do to those two, but nothing I would act on. When it came down to it, I was full of hot air. I couldn't imagine that I would do anything that would cause anyone any amount of actual harm. Ever. But then I remembered what I had done after Daniel’s death. That had to be what he was talking about. That had been hasty.
He continued. "I have some important matters to discuss with you on Monday. You will meet with your mother in the morning. She's planned an outing for you to prepare for everything."
"Everything?"
"We'll discuss it at dinner on Monday. I want you to have no contact with either of those men, Jenna. Are we clear?"
A wave of nausea came over me. "Yes. I'll be there on Monday. I won't contact them." I knew I didn’t have a choice—even if I had wanted to, I knew I no longer had any choices.
"Good girl. I'll see you on Monday."
I set the phone down in the cradle and stared at it. The events of the past few days had been difficult enough. I was still reeling from Daniel showing up, not to mention what I had done with Brandon the night before. None of that could prepare me for what was happening now—for how far I had fallen.
I was back under my father's thumb.
5
There was something satisfying about crumpling my Armani suit into the plastic bag from the gift shop. The thought of what my mother would think about my ruining the suit that cost as much as most people made in a month brought a small smile to my face. If my father knew about what Daniel had done, then my mother knew, too. I added her to the mental checklist of people who had betrayed me.
I pulled the yellow t-shirt with the word 'Hawaii' emblazoned across the chest over my head. I had also bought a bikini, just a tasteful sports-style one. I didn't want any extra eyes looking at me. Considering my father seemed to always know where I was and what I was doing, there were already enough eyes on me at any given time.
I headed for the beach. I loved the salty smell and the loud roar of the ocean. It didn't matter where I was—it always smelled and sounded the same, always gave me a sense of calm. The warm air here made the salt air a little heavier than the last time I'd
been at the beach. It was almost like it was infused with something else, salt and flowers, maybe. I narrowed my eyes at nothing in particular at the memory of the mental hospital. Yeah, it wasn't a mental hospital, it was a 'residential facility.' At least it was a mansion on the beach in Maine, and I'd been able to sit on the sand every day for that month. My parents forced me to go there—I needed the break after Daniel had died. Except he didn't die, I reminded myself.
I sighed. I'd have to have that conversation with my parents a different time. I wasn't going to let their betrayal add to my growing anger. At least not right now.
I found a spot near the water where the sand was wet and I plopped myself down. I started digging in the sand and building my sand castle. I couldn't tell if the tide was going out or coming in, so I found a spot far enough away from the water that I'd be able to stay there for a little while.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickled and I sensed that someone was watching me. I craned my neck around and looked for anyone watching me from the beach. I saw a few families playing on the sand, but no one that seemed obvious. I told myself I was just imagining it. I was so tense—so on edge that I was almost certain that I was imagining it.
I sat and dug, pressing the wet sand into my bucket and turning it upside down to build my castle. My neck hairs prickled again a little while later and I was sure again that someone was watching me. I turned around and looked down the beach. There was no one other than the families that had been there before.
