Dom Wars - Round Four
Page 8
“So much, baby. I love you. Tell me you know that.”
Again the sound in his voice cut through my fury and tugged at my heart. It was…irresistible. Because it was true. I knew he loved me. He’d proven it over and over. He’d gone to great lengths to earn my trust. So why was he suddenly being such a fucking jerk?
It really didn’t seem like it was his nerves. I’d understand if it was, of course. What else could it possibly be?
Chapter Nine
I stroked Tara’s head in my lap wanting to murder something. Anything. Take something the fuck apart for making me hurt Tara. Bastards. Some truly sick fuck was behind those texts. When this was all over with, I was going on a hunting trip. I was going to find the cruel bastard and take him apart bit by bit. Every single tear Tara had shed during this round was coming out of his hide.
My phone pinged with a call and I pulled it out, ready to vomit. It was just Steve.
“We’re nearing the hotel. Do you want to stop anywhere first? Need anything? Does Tara?”
“No, just get us there, Steve. Sick of this car, no offense.” That was putting it mildly but I didn’t have the energy to say more.
“None taken,” he said coolly. “We’ll be arriving at our destination in approximately three minutes.”
I sighed. “Thank fuck.”
Tara stirred with a soft moan and I hung up the phone. I didn’t want to give up this peaceful time with her, just holding her while she slept. But more than that, I wanted to run her a hot bath and give her a massage and make love to her. The chance of her letting me do anything like that was nightmarishly slim. I might not be able to say I was sorry, but I had to find a way to show it, to make her believe.
My gut tightened as I traced the shell of her ear with my finger. I fucking loved her ears. So fucking much. Look at them. So sweet and perfect. How could she believe that bullshit back there? I’d picked the most obvious lie, praying she’d know it was just the fucking game. I’d never get her expression out of my head. The nightmare that evolved on her face. First confusion that she’d heard right. Then fear that it might be true. Then pain that it was. Then the worst of all. Betrayal. Like I’d lied to her all this time and that stupid bullshit had been the truth all along.
We made it to the room and Tara went straight into the bathroom without saying a word. The sound of the shower reached me and I sat on the bed with a thousand pounds of misery in my bones. She wouldn’t accept any kindness from me at the moment.
Couldn’t fucking tell her I was sorry. Couldn’t tell her why. So fucking stupid.
I got undressed and paced in only my briefs, my inner drive set to super-dread. Dread of the next text. Dread of what Tara was feeling. Dread of what was going to happen to us. Dread that they’d killed the last shred of her love for me. Dread of the next demon domination.
My phone rang on the side table and I hurried to it.
Steve whispered, “Scores are up.”
Add dread of the scores to that list. I shot a glance behind me. “Do I want to know?”
“It’s…not so bad.”
“Fffffuck. What room are you in? I’m coming.”
“215. Two doors to your left.”
I went to the bathroom door and knocked. “Hey, Steve needs to talk to me, I’ll be back soon. You need anything?”
I waited in the silence, my gut tense. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”
I closed my eyes at hearing how very fine she wasn’t. She was scared, I could hear it behind all her wavery confidence. Fuckers. “Okay, love. I’ll be back in a few.” I stroked the door with my fingers, aching to hold her tight before tearing myself away. The temptation to go in there and tell her all of it was nearly more than I could bear.
Steve waited for me outside his room like a doorman, doing a poor job of hiding the oh fuck, constipating his expression. He opened his room door the second he saw me and I followed him in.
The deadbolt engaged and he turned and made a beeline into the living room part of the suite.
Making my way blindly behind him, I ran into him as he slid the laptop to the center of the table and opened a chair for me as he sat in the other one. With his middle finger, he pointed. “It’s not great, but it’s not horrible. I think. See here?”
I sat and stared at the complicated format, trying to understand.
“These are the scores for the texts she’s getting.” He slid his finger to the numbers. “Total possible scores for each is one hundred. As you can see, you are doing fantastic there.” He scrolled the page down. “Here are the scores for the texts you’re getting. Again, total possible score being a hundred.”
His tone dropped with the scores. “Thirty fucking five for the diner scene? Really?” Steve sighed as I choked on the score for the piss Tara off assignment. “Sixty for that shit? She was about to kill me. How fucking angry did they want her?”
“You made an eighty-five on that last one,” he said, hopeful.
I choked on shock. “Eighty five? Eighty…five? She nearly did fucking kill me on that! I brought my watch to my mouth needing them, burning for them to know. “This. Is so fucking stupid. So. Fucking. Very. Fucking. Stupid.” I gritted my teeth before I named names, sure they’d penalize me.
“And then there’s the score for the first domination.” Steve’s tone dropped even more as he scrolled the page down.
I gasped and grabbed my hair. “Fifty-five?” I rolled my eyes shut. “Amend. How the fuck?” I looked down, shaking my head, fighting to keep the remorse from my voice. “Did they expect me to raise her from the dead?”
A hard knock sounded on the hotel room door and Steve’s eyes went wide.
“Go.” I shut the laptop and sat down.
The door opened with a pleasant, “Tara, hey come in.”
Tara? That was fast. I stood and put my hands in my pockets, struggling to look normal. I think I did okay up to the odd wave I tossed at her.
“What’s going on?” She looked from Steve back at me, her expression utterly suspicious.
Fuck.
“Going over the plan, come in. We were just wanting your input.” Steve’s perfect calm demeanor flooded me with relief.
“Yeah. Demon domination number two next.”
She looked at me, concern overtaking her suspicion, thank fuck. “Do we get scores this time?”
“Not yet,” Steve said. “I’ve been keeping an eye though.”
Tara sighed and looked at me, a mix of maybe fatigue and regret in her eyes. “I feel like you didn’t do well at the last one.”
At least she was off our trail. I needed to keep it that way. “Why do you think that?”
She stared at me for several seconds until the weight of her unspoken thoughts made me uncomfortable. “Well,” she looked up, “you…didn’t exactly…”
“Make amends? For getting her killed? How the fuck am I supposed to do that exactly?”
Her look dredged up a ton of emotional bullshit. “Maybe…you need to…deal with it a little more?”
A wall of nothing encased me and I stared at her. “Deal? Ah, I get it. Like emotionally.” I threw my hands out. “Well, they won’t believe me if I put on a show and right now, I got nothing.”
She nodded a little, staring me down with those laser beam eyes, probing, seeking for cracks.
“I got nothing,” I reassured.
She lowered her eyes, maybe to hide the unconvinced look in them. “Well then? We’ll just…have to keep on. Until something shows up.” She met my gaze and crossed her arms with a smile that said and that time is sure to come. “Anyway,” she sighed and rocked on her heels. “So. What the fuck is up with you two?”
Steve and I looked at each other. “What?” I asked.
She chuckled and lowered her head then lifted her wrist to her mouth. “Somebody…thinks I’m stupid.” She wagged her finger between us, “You two…have been acting…weird. So what’s going on?”
I raised my brows, trying not to panic.
If she figured it out, we’d lose for sure. “What’s going on, I think you know that, we’re all together at all times.”
She nodded at me, then squinted her eyes. “You know…I just realized.”
Shit.
“Why haven’t you…been getting texts?” She cocked her head to the side. “And why have you been…doing all of this weird stuff.”
Jesus. Panic threatened to overtake me. “Fine, you want to know?” I paced and raked a hand through my hair, not looking at her. “This is just who I am. When I’m…”
“Would you like me to explain it?” Steve asked.
I looked at him and he wore that weird smile, his brows raised extremely high. I sighed and lowered my head, tossing a hand of approval at him, wondering what in the world he’d say.
“See, I’ve been shown what the dominations are going to be…this time. And…I… well I warned him they’re going to be hard.” He shot up his pointer finger. “Nothing that would get a penalty, just…a sort of…”
“Enough to freak me the fuck out, okay?” I jumped in. “I’m nervous, alright? I do…weird shit when I’m nervous. This is all riding on me.” I gestured to her. “And you saying I scored badly is not helping. Neither is your behavior. Against me. When I’m…”
“Being an ass?” She widened her eyes and held up both hands. “Soooo sorry, but I’m so not good at taking that!” Like if she needed to be able to, we were in deep shit.
“Look, I get it. I do. I don’t blame you for…reacting. I’d do the same thing…I think. God, stop looking at me like the little boy who let his red balloon go.”
She hurried to me with her arms out and hugged me. “No. You wouldn’t respond to me that way, you’d love me anyway. God, I’m such a brat.”
I met the crazy psycho smiling eyes of Steve before rolling mine shut. Thank fuck. “You’re not a brat.”
“Yes, I am. Oh my God, you must be freaking out!” She put her hair behind her ears. “I mean you are acting so weird!” She choked on a gasp and slapped my chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That you do this, handle your fears this way, if I had known I would have helped you.”
“Well…I’ve never been in this type of situation before.”
“So what happened at the diner, and the restaurant, was just you being scared!” She smiled, extremely relieved. As if her every prayer had been answered.
I panicked. Fuck. We might lose the few fucking points we had. “No, that was not…. The diner? What did I do at the diner that was weird? Or the restaurant? I…” Steve nodded his head behind her. “I was just…being…me. That wasn’t what I meant. I’m talking about just…I’m pacing a lot and…worried. A fucking lot.”
Like a deflating balloon, her relief slowly crumpled until her shoulders sagged a little. “I see.” She pulled the hair from behind her ears then as though remembering I thought they were big. Wow. She pointed a thumb behind her, keeping her eyes on the floor. “I’m going to order pizza. See you whenever.”
She hurried to the door and opened it. “By the way, I forgot that I came to tell you I got another assignment. As soon as you can manage, we need to do it and get those points.” Her shoulders drooped in a mixture of hurt and exhaustion as she very precisely closed the door behind her.
The enthusiasm she always had in her voice when she played was gone and the pain that took its place stabbed at my every nerve. I repeated my vow to punish the motherfucker behind those assignments.
I pointed at the door as soon as I could breathe through the devastation. “She. Is going to fucking hate me before this is over. Did you see her?” I paced like a madman wanting to kill. Of course I wanted to kill. All I needed was a target. “I have to do something. I have to save us. And then I have to find the fucking deviant cruel bastard that only allows me to hurt her this time.” I stood, shaking, trying to hold myself together. “God they’re trying to use her to break me.”
Steve sighed long. “Seems to be working.”
I spun to him. “Fucking right it’s working!” I went back to pacing. “Loving her is my weakness and they know it, and they’re destroying it!”
“Hey!” Steve snapped his fingers. “I have an idea.”
“Well you better tell me before I go nuts.” I sat on the bed and put my head in my hands.
His eyes widened for a second then he hurried to the table grabbing a pen and the little hotel pad. “First, maybe we should take notes on what has happened so far.”
“What?”
He wrote furiously and I sat next to him. He slid the pad to me. They are listening. Watching. And I think Danielle may be behind these atrocious assignments. She has it out for Tara. I will write down my ideas. Keep your camera under the table. When I ask, spell it out.
“Okay, yes.” I put my hands in my lap. “First assignment was that bullshit telling me to humiliate Tara at the restaurant. If that wasn’t enough, it said I couldn’t explain until after the final demon domination.”
He wrote again like a madman, nodding. “Which you pulled off superbly I might add.” He kissed his fingertips in a show perfection then slid the paper to me.
I glanced at it. They’re telling you to do all of this craziness. Why not do your own craziness?”
I frowned, trying to figure out what that meant. “Your…handwriting is atrocious man, I can’t understand it.” I shook my head mouthing what does that mean?
His eyes widened then he began writing again. “I am so sorry, writing with a pen is a lost art, I’m afraid. Let me try print.”
He slid the paper back to me with the same impeccable cursive from before. I mean your own crazy things that will amaze her! He sat nodding rapidly, his gaze burning. “Yes, print is much better. So, what was the second assignment again?”
He went back to scribbling. “I believe that was the one you did at that club? Hm?”
“Yes, I think you’re right. That was the one that said to anger Tara, and no apologies or explanations until after the final domination again.”
He slid the pad to me his eyes nearly beady with stealth. Something romantic.
Steve’s enthusiasm made my heart race. The concept began to sink in followed by a white blank wall in my mind surrounding the dreaded R word. “And…that shit went south really fast. That second assignment.”
“Ho, ho, ho, did it ever.” He scribbled some words and shot the pad to me.
Do something that will convey to her your true feelings.
“It was memorably stupid,” he nearly breathed the words with forlorn agony.
I thought about that, what he wrote. Convey my feelings. “I was so fucking sorry.” I looked at him, hope bubbling in me.
“Unspeakably, yes. And then there was the first real assignment?” He wrote some more and gave me the pad. You will need to give her clues, romantic things that say something to her. What do you want to say?
“You have no clue how badly I want to tell her that… I’m sorry and I love her and I didn’t mean any of that shit.” I nodded, with eyes wide, hoping he would now come up with a convenient list for that.
“Ah, I bet you do. But you can’t do that man,” he slapped the table with his palm, “so stop thinking that way! Start thinking like a Top Dom…” he wrote vehemently then slid the pad to me, “….and not like a pussy.” That last word had a strange Italian lilt, taking the sting away. Find romantic things that say I’m sorry.
“You’re right, I need to Dom the fuck up.” I thought about ways to tell her that without actually telling her. “I can’t lose her.” I looked at Steve. “I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”
****
How could Lucian say that? I looked at my ears in the mirror for the hundredth time. I’d been told by every person on the planet that I had tiny ears. This made no sense. He was lying. But why? To hurt me? Make me jealous? But why? Was he…finally realizing what I was? Or more like wasn’t?
And he wasn’t even so
rry about it. That said it all. He’d meant it. Like it was nothing special. And now I had that stupid text to do with him. He was going to hate it. Or maybe he wouldn’t.
The door opened and I spun around, clutching the bathrobe tight at my chest. I pointed to the bed. “Text is right there. Read it and weep.”
He walked to the bed and picked it up. I watched his face, waiting for the torment, the anger. Nothing was there. He just leveled a cold gaze on me. “Where do you want to do it?”
Pain stabbed my chest at his cool tone. I swallowed and looked around. “The bed is fine.”
“Get to it. On your stomach.”
I walked to the bed and disrobed and laid down while he rummaged in the drawer with the supplies.
He returned and tied my wrists together over my head with plastic cuffs. Then he did the same to my ankles.
“Fifty lashes, love. Hold on tight.”
I gritted my teeth as he began, fighting to hold on to my anger. But every lash stripped it from me until I was cocooned in a world of agony and pain. But it was the one in my soul and chest that hurt more than anything. The physical was nothing. In fact, I was numb.
He whipped me quickly, seeming to not spare an inch of flesh, his licks that of an angry Dom. Who was this man? Where was my Lucian?
The whippings finally stopped and in silence he untied me. I waited for him to console me, prepared to reject him. But by the time I sat up, the door slammed shut. And he was gone.
Chapter Ten
I stormed over to Steve’s room and pounded on the door. When he opened it, I hurried into his bathroom and shut the door. I got out of my clothes and turned on the water, setting it to only hot. I got under the spray and gritted my teeth as the water burned my backside, burned my skin nice and fucking good.
She hadn’t made a sound. The memory of the last text I’d gotten enraged me. Don’t show remorse on your next sex assignment.
My chest grew unbearably tight as I fought to not see her body covered in red marks that I couldn’t soothe. I was allowed aftercare but there was no fucking way I could not show remorse. God, was Steve right? Was that bitch doing everything she could to hurt Tara? Ruin us?