‘Do you think it’s a good idea?’ she said worriedly. ‘What will Hannah and Becky think if I spend Christmas with you?’
‘That at least they’re not going to have to put up with just having me to play all those boring games with!’ He grinned. ‘How are you at Snakes and Ladders and Monopoly?’
‘Hopeless! I can’t remember when I last played any board games,’ she admitted, smiling back.
‘Excellent! That means I might have a chance of winning this year.’
‘Ah, I see. So there’s method in your madness? You want me to spend Christmas with you so you can crow when you win and I lose?’
‘Something like that,’ he agreed, chuckling. ‘So does that mean you’ll come for dinner on Christmas Day?’
‘Yes, I think it does. On one condition, though.’
‘And that is?’
‘That I don’t have to go anywhere near that wretched oven of yours!’
Matt laughed. ‘You won’t. Promise.’ He kissed her again and hugged her then reluctantly let her go. ‘I’d better go. I’ll see you on Monday….unless you fancy coming shopping with me tomorrow? I’ve still got to buy the children’s presents and I could really do with some feminine input. So will you? Pretty please with jam on it?’
‘All right, then.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I hate to see a grown man beg so I suppose I’ll have to. What time are you going?’
‘Around two if that’s OK with you. The girls are going to a birthday party so I can drop them off and come round to collect you. We could try one of those shopping centres on the outskirts of town. We should be able to find a parking place there.’
‘I wouldn’t bank on it. With only a week to go until Christmas it will be madly busy.’
‘Oh, we’ll be fine. You’ll see. I’ll see you tomorrow, Catherine.’ He opened the door then stole a last kiss. ‘Sweet dreams, my love.’
‘You, too.’
Catherine waited until he’d disappeared into the lift before she closed the door. She went inside and looked around, shivering a little because the central heating had switched itself off and the flat was growing chilly. She turned off the living-room lights then went to have a shower. The bathroom was full of steam and Matt had draped the towel he’d used over the radiator.
She picked it up and buried her face in the damp fabric. It smelled ever so slightly of Matt and her heart tumbled about inside her as she inhaled his scent and remembered what had happened that night. Making love with Matt had been a turning point and she knew that she didn’t regret what had happened and never would so why did she feel so afraid all of a sudden? Because now that he’d left she had nobody to reassure her?
Her heart raced but this time its rhythm had nothing to do with her feelings for him and everything to do with herself. How quickly she had come to rely on him but what if he let her down? How would she cope then? Surely it would be better if she never put herself in the position of having her heart broken?
She hung the towel back on the rail and there was a cold feeling of dread inside her which felt worse after the heat of passion. She didn’t want to have these doubts but she couldn’t help it. Her fears were so deeply ingrained and so much a part of her that she might never be able to overcome them. Loving Matt might not be enough.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘THIS really wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had!’
Catherine laughed when she heard the disgust in Matt’s voice. He had picked her up at two o’clock on Saturday afternoon and driven them to a shopping centre on the outskirts of the city. The traffic had been horrendous so it had taken them twice as long as they’d expected to get there. Then when they’d arrived they had discovered the car park was full. They were currently stuck in a long line of cars, all waiting to find a parking space.
‘I did warn you,’ she murmured, earning herself a speaking look.
‘You did so there’s no need to crow.’ He put his head in his hands and groaned. ‘How can a mere male be expected to deal with this? You women must have a lot more stamina than we do to cope with the run-up to Christmas.’
‘Oh, I think it’s widely accepted now that we are the superior sex,’ she quipped, pleased that Matt seemed determined to keep the mood light.
She had spent the night and most of the morning worrying about the problems surrounding their relationship. She’d got herself into such a state at one point that she’d even considered phoning Matt to cancel their shopping trip. However, she’d known in her heart that she would never be able to resolve the situation if she kept avoiding the issue. In the event, she needn’t have worried because Matt had set the tone from the outset, keeping the conversation to impersonal topics rather than what was probably uppermost on both their minds. She felt a sudden rush of affection at his thoughtfulness and leant over to kiss him on the cheek.
‘I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve that but thank you very much.’ He grinned at her and Catherine felt her heart lift when she saw the warmth on his face. Despite her reservations, she couldn’t pretend that it didn’t feel wonderful to know how much she meant to him.
‘I’ll even forgive you for that cheap shot about women being the superior sex. I can’t say fairer than that, can I?’
‘You certainly can’t.’ She grimaced as the car in front crawled another few yards closer to the parking lot. ‘At this rate it will be time to go home before we get any shopping done!’
‘I know. It was a lousy idea to come here.’ He glanced at the dashboard clock and sighed. ‘We’re not going to have much time to do the shopping at this rate. I have to collect the girls from their party at half past six.’
‘Why don’t we give it up as a bad job and try the shops near the surgery? There’s a book shop and a toy shop so you should be able to find something there for Hannah. There’s also a store that sells some rather nice clothes for teenagers which Becky might like.’
‘That sounds like a much better idea to me than sitting here in this queue.’
Matt quickly pulled out of the queue. He turned the car around and headed back the way they’d come, letting out a heartfelt sigh once they had left the tailback behind. ‘That’s better! I could feel my stress levels creeping up to overload while we were sitting there.’
‘You men just aren’t programmed for that kind of situation. Your shopping gene is missing.’
‘It is, and I for one don’t regret it!’ He laughed as he captured her hand. Catherine shivered when he delicately kissed her fingertips. ‘Have I told you how much I love you, Dr Lewis?’
‘You did mention it,’ she said, struggling to maintain her smile. She knew how hard it must be for him but she found it difficult to cope when he was so open about his feelings.
Matt must have realised how she felt because he quickly released her. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to spoil things. I know you don’t feel the same way I do.’
‘I don’t know how I feel,’ she corrected gently, hating to hear him sounding so deflated. ‘This is all very new to me, Matt, and I find it hard to put a name to what I’m feeling. I know how difficult it must be for you to understand, but I don’t want to lead you on. I…I could never live with myself if I hurt you.’
‘And I couldn’t live with myself if I made you unhappy so let’s not think about it any more. Let’s just enjoy being together and leave it at that for now. There will be time enough for us to decide what we want after Christmas, won’t there?’
Catherine didn’t reply. She wished she could be as certain as he seemed to be that everything would become clear after Christmas. Matt still seemed to believe that it was simply a case of her getting used to the idea of loving him, but she knew there was more to it than that. She had to find the courage to change her whole way of life and it wasn’t going to be easy. Still, maybe he’d been right to tell her not to worry about it. She’d spent hours thinking about the situation and had still not come up with any answers so maybe she should give herself a breathing space.
They drove back to the surgery and parked in the drive. Matt locked the car and held out his hand. ‘Come along, then, let’s get this show on the road. We have two hours to make sure that Hannah and Becky aren’t disappointed when they see what Santa has brought them this year.’
Catherine laughed as she slipped her hand into his. ‘Sounds like rather a tall order to me. You don’t really think we’ll get all the shopping done in a couple of hours, do you?’
‘I don’t just think it. I know we will!’ He swung her round to face him and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Faint heart never got Christmas all wrapped up so jump to it, young lady!’
‘Aye, aye, Cap’n,’ she replied saucily. She skipped smartly out of the way when he made a grab for her. ‘Too slow! You’ll need to be a lot quicker than that if you hope to catch me.’
‘Will I, indeed?’
He made another lunge for her and Catherine laughed as she turned and fled down the drive. He soon caught up with her, pulling her into his arms and turning her round so that he could dole out a suitable punishment. His face was cold from the winter air but his lips were filled with fire and her laughter disappeared beneath a sudden surge of passion. When he let her go she clung to him for a moment, unable to shake off the feeling of completeness that had filled her, the sense that she could find everything she needed right there in his arms.
Maybe this was love after all, she thought wonderingly. And maybe it could last for ever. Just because her parents hadn’t found lasting happiness together, it didn’t mean that she and Matt couldn’t achieve it.
Her head spun as they made their way along the road. She had always kept her emotions strictly under control because she’d been afraid of getting carried away. It wasn’t easy to let go but she had to try. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to give Matt what he wanted from her but at least he would have the consolation of knowing that she had done her best to overcome her fears because of him.
By the time five o’clock arrived they had visited every shop in the road and were loaded with parcels. Catherine groaned when Matt balanced yet another box on top of the pile she was carrying. ‘Surely that should be enough by now?’
‘It is. I never thought we’d do so well and it’s all thanks to you. If you hadn’t been with me then I would never have thought of buying Becky that sweater or those jeans. They looked so…well, grown up.’ He sighed. ‘I still tend to think of her as a little girl and forget that she’s turning into a young woman.’
‘I do have a slight advantage over you,’ she pointed out, stopping on the edge of the kerb while they waited for the lights on the pedestrian crossing to change. There were a lot of people waiting to cross and she moved aside when a young woman with a pushchair and a small child in tow squeezed into the gap beside her. The baby was crying its head off and Catherine had to raise her voice to make herself heard.
‘I was a teenage girl in the dim and distant past so I know how important it is to have the latest fashions. I used to spend hours poring over teen magazines when I was in the children’s home, choosing all the wonderful trendy things I’d love to wear even though there was very little chance of me ever having them.’
‘I hate to think what a rotten childhood you must have had,’ he began sadly then suddenly gasped. ‘No! Come back!’
Catherine felt her heart leap into her throat when she turned to see who he was shouting to and saw that the little girl who’d been standing beside them had wandered into the road. Everything seemed to be a blur after that. She saw Matt drop his parcels as he darted forward and swept the child into his arms, heard the screech of brakes as the car that had been heading towards the crossing tried to stop. It hit Matt a glancing blow, sending him tumbling onto the tarmac.
The child’s mother started screaming but Catherine was too shocked to react. Matt was lying in the road, not moving, and she could only stare at him in horror. It was only when the driver of the car got out and pleaded for help that she finally managed to respond.
Dropping her parcels onto the pavement, she ran into the road and knelt down beside Matt. ‘I’m a doctor,’ she told the young man. ‘Let me see.’
‘I couldn’t stop. I saw him run out and grab the kid but I just couldn’t stop in time!’
He suddenly sank onto the ground but Catherine ignored him as she bent over Matt. The driver didn’t appear to be hurt so she could safely leave it to the paramedics to deal with him when they arrived. Someone was bound to have phoned for an ambulance by now so she would concentrate on Matt and the child.
The little girl was screaming but she didn’t appear to be badly injured. Matt had taken the brunt of the impact, using his body to shield the child. Catherine quickly checked her over but so far as she could tell the little girl was simply shocked. She beckoned the child’s mother over and handed the toddler to her.
‘I don’t think she’s hurt. She’s probably more shocked than anything, but she’ll need to be examined properly in hospital. Just try to keep her calm, will you?’
‘I didn’t see her let go of the pram,’ the young woman wailed as she cuddled the little girl. ‘She’s never, ever run into the road like that before!’
Catherine didn’t say anything. She was more concerned about how badly injured Matt was to waste any time by pointing out that it only needed the child to do it once to result in a tragedy. ‘Matt, can you hear me?’ she said urgently, her fingers searching for and finding the pulse below his jaw. The rhythm was steady and regular and she breathed a sigh of relief although she would have felt even better if he’d answered her.
She ran her fingers over his skull and grimaced when she felt a lump behind his left ear. He’d obviously hit his head on the tarmac when he’d fallen, which probably explained why he was unconscious. There was no way of telling how serious the injury might be until they got him to hospital so she quickly checked him for fractures. She ran her hands down his arms and legs, checked his hips and tested each of the vertebrae in his spine, but from what she could tell everything was fine. However, when she slid her hand along his left collar-bone, he moaned.
‘Matt, can you hear me?’ she demanded, her heart thumping as she bent over him. ‘Does that hurt?’
‘Hurts like hell,’ he muttered, and she gave a choked little laugh of sheer relief at his grumpy tone.
‘It’s your own fault for playing the hero. Now, lie still while we wait for the ambulance to get here.’
‘Don’t need an ambulance’ he grumbled, glowering at her. ‘It was just a bit of a bump, that’s all.’
‘I’ll be the judge of that, thank you very much.’
‘Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bully, Catherine Lewis?’
‘Loads of people, and it didn’t make a scrap of difference so you may as well shut up and do as you’re told.’
One of the shopkeepers arrived then with some blankets so she draped one over him then checked to see how the little girl was faring. She had stopped crying and seemed to be fine now that she had got over her shock. Catherine knew how fortunate the child had been because if Matt hadn’t managed to grab her she could have been killed.
She helped the mother wrap the child in a blanket then asked one of the bystanders to fetch the young woman’s pram over in the hope that it would calm down the baby. The assistant from the toy shop had collected all their parcels and she came over to tell Catherine that she would take them into the shop for safekeeping.
Catherine thanked her then checked Matt again, taking his pulse and checking his eyes…or at least the one eye that was visible. She still hadn’t turned him over and had no intention of doing so until the paramedics got there. Although there didn’t appear to be any damage to his spine, she didn’t intend to take any chances and would wait until they had the right equipment before she moved him.
‘I’m fine,’ he complained. ‘I’m just a bit bruised and sore but there’s no need to fuss. Really!’
‘Good. I’m pleased to hear it but you still aren’t getting up,�
�� she said firmly. She glanced round when the sound of a siren announced that the ambulance was on its way. ‘Here’s the ambulance now.’
She told the paramedics what had happened and they insisted on strapping Matt to a spinal board to his disgust and her relief. She climbed into the ambulance and sat down beside him while a paramedic closed the doors. The mother had gone in a second ambulance with the little girl and her baby so they were saved having to listen to the poor mite screaming its head off. A policeman was taking statements from the driver and some of the people who had witnessed the accident. Catherine knew they would need to give statements, too, but they could wait for now. Getting Matt to hospital was her number-one priority.
Matt continued to complain all the way to the hospital but Catherine ignored him. He was going to be examined whether he liked it or not! The paramedics took him straight into Resus while Catherine went to give his details to the admitting clerk. She rattled it all off—his name, age, address and profession. She gave his mother’s name as his next of kin then explained that Mrs Fielding was out of the country because it was important that the staff had the correct information to hand in case anything happened.
All of a sudden her legs turned to jelly as the full horror of what had happened hit her. Matt might have been killed and the staff would have needed the information so they could make the necessary arrangements. The thought left her feeling so completely devastated that she couldn’t reply when the young man behind the counter asked her to sit down until the doctor was ready to speak to her.
She made it to a chair and sank down. She felt so sick and shaken that she wondered if she was going to faint. She simply couldn’t imagine what she would have done if Matt had been killed. The thought of him no longer existing seemed to shake the very foundations of her world. She needed to see him and touch him, smell him and speak to him for there to be any meaning to her life. She didn’t give a damn about the wonderful career she had planned for herself. She only cared about Matt and the realisation stunned her. She had done the one thing she had sworn never to do—she had fallen in love. The only question now was did she have the courage to tell him that?
The Doctor's Christmas Gift Page 17
