by Jaleta Clegg
"I'm not paranoid." I'd been accused of it often enough, by people who knew me very well.
"I never said you were." Lee smiled, looking harmless and slightly stupid. It was an act.
"Why did you come here?" Seya moved, slinking closer to me.
"Because I need to talk to Lowell."
Seya reached me, standing too close. She lashed out with her foot, catching a chair and pulling it closer. "Sit down, Admiral. We won't bite. Yet."
I sat, easing myself into the chair.
"Commander Lowell isn't available," Lee told me. "Last we heard he was out near Besht. Reports indicate actual fighting. He's commanding the Fleet there."
"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" Seya asked, leaning over my chair as she sat on one arm.
"Why would I know about fighting there?" I shifted in the chair, away from her.
"Because you were on Besht less than two weeks ago."
"I was in the hospital, unable to walk by myself."
"After losing Tivor." She was baiting me deliberately.
"It was a lost cause before I got there," I said tiredly. I didn't have the energy to fight with her. I didn't want to. I wanted answers to my own personal questions.
"She knows that," Lee said. "We both read the report about it. Seya is just trying to needle you. She's that way."
"I know some people she could take lessons from," I said. "They did it much better."
I expected her to attack me for that comment. She didn't. She laughed.
"I think I like you," she told me, "despite the stories."
Someday I was going to have to hear those stories, just to see what rumors Lowell spread about me. But not today.
"What business brings you here?" Lee asked. "Since the Commander won't be back for some time, perhaps we can help."
"Lowell owes me a favor," I said. "I need someone found."
"Then go to the missing persons department," Seya said impatiently. "We really don't have time for it."
Lee held up his hand, stopping her. Seya backed away, pacing restlessly between the room's two windows. "Your medical discharge papers were cleared last week," he told me. "Officially we can't do anything for you. You are no longer Patrol."
The words were music. I never wanted to be part of the Patrol, official or not. But I had to find Tayvis, and I was going to use whatever means I had to.
"Officially?" I questioned.
"I have a proposal for you," Lee said. "We need someone not officially connected to the Patrol and especially to this office."
"My connections are well established, even if they aren't regulation."
"Your former connections," Lee corrected me. He leaned forward. "We need someone, and you are in the perfect position."
"What are you trying to say?" I asked suspiciously. I wanted him to spell it all out, leave nothing to insinuation or innuendo.
"He's offering you a trade," Seya said. "We find this person for you and in return you spy for us."
I shook my head and stood, levering myself out of the chair. "I don't spy. I never have." I could find Tayvis on my own, I had the money to buy all sorts of help.
"Sit down," Seya said, nudging me back into the chair. "And listen."
"Please," Lee added.
I subsided into the chair. Whatever they asked, I would turn them down. What would it hurt if I just listened to what they wanted?
"You were involved when Roderick, the Emperor's cousin was arrested for treason," Lee said.
"What does that have to do with anything? He was plotting to take the throne, or at least to cause major disruption in the Empire. We stopped him."
"Roderick, yes." Lee leaned back in his chair. "He was a diversion. The real plot to fracture the Empire is still very much alive. Our problem is that the people involved are so highly placed we can't touch them. None of our agents can possibly infiltrate their organization."
I felt very cold. I didn't want to think through the implications of his statement.
"You, however," Seya said, "are in a perfect position."
"You suspect the Speaker?"
"Possibly," Lee admitted. "As I said, this plot involves very highly placed, very influential people. Roderick was only a pawn, meant to draw suspicion away from the real danger."
"What do you want from me?" I asked, my voice a hoarse whisper. The Speaker to the Council of Worlds was the last person I'd suspect of treason, even before I'd met him personally. Was every belief I had ever had going to be questioned and proven wrong?
"You have the perfect cover," Seya said, leaning over the back of my chair. "Engaged to the son of the Speaker, friends with the Emperor's son, you have access we don't."
"You want me to spy on them?" I didn't know whether I should be shocked, outraged, or flattered. I shook my head. "I can't." I wasn't going to agree. I had to find Tayvis. I wanted my life back. I didn't want to get sucked deeper into Lowell's machinations.
"You are the only one who can," Lee said, leaning forward again, as if to convey sincerity and urgency. It worked.
"And Lowell trusts you," Seya said. "He'd be here himself, if he hadn't been maneuvered off Linas-Drias and out of touch with most of his network. As far as we can tell, it was all part of their plan. Lowell was the only one who could possibly uncover their treason and stop them."
I swallowed heavily. I didn't want this.
"You won't have to do anything," Lee said, "other than keep your eyes and ears open. We'll arrange a way for you to send us a message if you find anything."
"You're asking too much," I said.
"Our reports indicate you don't like Vance," Seya said. "But he announced, to the Empire, that you are engaged to be married. What better cover could we possibly give you?"
"You want me to lie and pretend."
"Only as much as necessary to allay suspicion," Lee said.
I shook my head again. Much as I wanted to kick Vance around, I still respected him. I couldn't possibly spy on him. It felt like betrayal. And I couldn't see Iniuri Shiropi involved in a plot to destroy the Empire. The thought of Max plotting his father's demise was laughable.
"You're the only one who can do it," Seya said in my ear.
"You'll have our full support," Lee said. "Whatever you need."
They gave me no choice. I had to do this, for the good of the Empire. Lowell believed in it, despite everything. And I believed in Lowell. I owed him for putting me back together more than once. I hated him at times, but I couldn't ignore the sense of obligation I had.
"I'll listen and I'll let you know if I hear anything suspicious," I said reluctantly. "And in return—"
Lee leaned forward. Seya paused, poised motionless above me.
"In return," I said quietly, "you'll find Malcolm Tayvis and you'll explain everything, and I mean everything, to him."
They exchanged glances over my head.
"Deal," Lee said.
Chapter 13
"I'm going to kill him," Jasyn announced.
Clark looked up from his seat on the floor surrounded by brightly colored blocks that made various noises when shaken. Louie sat in front of him, his chubby hands banging blocks on the floor. The sound of tortured animals bleated from the blocks.
"Who?"
"Lowell, who else?" Jasyn sat at the table, the latest copy of the news spread in front of her.
"Why?" Clark asked carefully. His wife had a volatile temper.
"He promised. Dace was supposed to stay safe on Besht until we could get there. Leon told me that was his personal promise last time he talked to him." Leon was on his way to Besht, ahead of them, to make sure Lowell was keeping that promise. They'd been slowed by engine problems and the need to haul cargo to keep their business interests valid.
The sound of the blocks was too distracting. Clark stood, hauling Louie up in his arms.
"What game is he playing now?" Jasyn muttered.
Clark looked over her shoulder. The mem paper held the latest n
ews from Linas-Drias. Plastered front and center was a picture of Dace in a silver uniform. She leaned against a man identified as Vance Shiropi. The headlines screamed about an engagement.
"Engaged?" Clark said. "To the son of the Speaker to the Council?"
"You don't recognize him? He's the one Lowell sent her off to the Sessimoniss with. I'm going to kill him."
"Lowell, Vance, or both?"
"Does it matter?"
"Not much, but if it's Lowell, I'll help. Dace would never get into something like that on her own. It would involve being social."
Jasyn shook her head. "Paltronis warned us she was different. Maybe she isn't the same person anymore. Maybe this is what she chose."
"And maybe she learned to cook. I won't believe it until I talk to her again."
"What are you suggesting?"
"That we go to Linas-Drias and talk to her."
"We go to Besht first," Jasyn said. She used her uncompromising voice, the one Clark knew not to argue with.
"It will take us two weeks. We have to make at least two stops on the way."
"Don't tell me my job," Jasyn snapped. "I can plot a course to get us there in ten days."
"Not unless Darus found another coolant regulator valve. We can't push the engines until the system is back to normal levels. Banging on the valve every ten minutes to keep it from sticking can't be good for it or the engine." He shifted Louie to one hip and rubbed her shoulder with his free hand. "No matter how hard you push things, it's going to take at least two weeks to get to Besht."
"And the story is already two weeks old." Jasyn's shoulders slumped. "I should have talked her out of listening to Lowell."
"She did what she had to, Jasyn."
"What is she doing now?" The hurt in her voice was clear despite the anger she used to mask it. "She doesn't belong there, she belongs here."
"Jasyn," Clark said gently, "maybe she doesn't anymore."
"Don't say that." She shoved the mem papers, sending them flying off the table to scatter on the floor. "Even if it is true," she added in a tiny voice.
Clark squeezed her shoulder. He could hear the others coming back to the ship. She took a deep breath, getting her emotions under control.
"Success!" Darus announced from the hatch. "We found a brand new, factory perfect valve. Considering they haven't made the things for fifteen years, I consider that a small miracle."
Hatches banged outside. Clark turned to face the older man. Darus was Dace's father. He needed to be told the latest news about his daughter.
"Ginni says to tell you they spent too much on food, but Twyla insisted it was edible. She said it even tastes pretty good." Darus grinned as he hefted a greasy box and headed for the engine room. He was oblivious to the mood in the room. Just like Dace, Clark thought.
"Darus," he said to get the man's attention.
Darus stopped. He put the box carefully on the floor. Each movement was exaggerated. Darus wasn't as oblivious as Clark had thought.
"What about Dace this time?" he asked. "She was in the hospital. How much trouble can she get into if she can't even get out of bed without help?"
Clark shook his head, unable to answer that question.
"She's getting married," Jasyn said.
"What?" Darus darted across the lounge and grabbed up the mem paper from the floor. His voice was hard, anger mixed with hurt. "That's not Tayvis. She wouldn't do that without at least telling me."
"Are we interrupting?" Beryn asked from the doorway. "The cargo's stowed," he added to Clark. "We're set to go when you're ready."
The rest of the crew came through the hatch. Ginni laughed at something Twyla said. Finn walked behind them, grinning down at Ginni though she was turned away from him.
Finn was new, hired only a couple of months earlier. So far, he hadn't proven himself. He was capable enough, but he didn't understand. And he didn't listen.
Finn leaned over Ginni as she put fresh food away in the galley. She kept her head down, not looking at him. The two of them were the only ones who hadn't sensed the change in mood in the lounge of the ship. Beryn and Twyla watched Darus and Jasyn.
"What is it now?" Beryn asked. "Another letter from Lowell?"
"News sheets," Clark answered.
Darus crumpled the mem paper in his fist. He threw it at the table. "How soon can we get to Besht if I get that new valve installed?" he asked Jasyn, his voice flat and angry.
"Eight days if we can push the engine," she answered.
He nodded. He stomped down the stairs to the engine room, snagging the valve on the way.
"Why are we in a hurry to get to Besht?" Finn asked.
Twyla and Beryn retrieved the crumpled paper and smoothed it out.
"Because Lowell owes us answers," Jasyn said sharply. She shoved herself out of her chair, stalking towards the cockpit of the ship.
"This is about Dace, isn't it?" Finn asked. "We're going to drop everything, including a cargo that still needs delivered, to run off and ask questions about her."
"You have a problem with that?" Clark asked him, deceptively mild.
"The cargo isn't due on New Haven for another month," Twyla said over her shoulder. "We can get someone else to take it for us once we get it to Besht."
"We'll stop somewhere for fuel and transfer it there," Clark said. "You want to say something, Finn?"
"It's stupid," Finn said. "You're losing money, good money, to chase after someone who isn't even here and hasn't been for over a year. It's ridiculous. You keep her cabin the same. You have all her things still in lockers. It's like a shrine to her. She's gone and she's not coming back but you're all too infatuated to face the truth."
His words echoed in the room. There was silence for a long moment.
"You're welcome to leave," Clark said.
"There aren't any good positions here," Finn said. "I'd be stranded for months."
"It's better than being dead," Twyla said.
Finn blinked, caught by surprise at her comment.
"If Jasyn heard you, she'll kill you," Ginni added. "And I'll help."
"You're crazy," Finn said. "All of you. You won't face the truth. I think she never was part of your crew. You're waiting for a phantom to show up."
"Get out," Clark told him. "Your contract is terminated."
"You don't have the authority to do that," Finn said belligerently. "And you won't leave me here. This world is barely civilized."
"Then you should have thought about what you said," Jasyn said, rejoining them. "Get off my ship. You've got five minutes to collect your things."
Finn shook his head. "You won't leave me. You need me. Darus is a half-baked engineer who doesn't know anything about hyper engines or tuning your sublight drive. Beryn is passable, but he isn't what you need, either. You need a real engineer, like me. Who else is going to keep this tub of bolts flying if you leave me behind?"
"We managed before, we'll manage now. Five minutes." Jasyn turned her back on Finn. "We're lifting in fifteen."
Ginni and Beryn went out the hatch to check that the ship was secured. Twyla went down to the engine to help Darus. Clark stood his ground, facing Finn. Louie chewed his fist and drooled down Clark's neck.
"You're crazy," Finn said. "All of you."
"I believe the owner terminated your contract," Clark said. "If you aren't off this ship in five minutes, we'll have you arrested for trespassing."
Finn's face tightened with anger. He shoved his way past Clark to his cabin. The sound of lockers being slammed open and emptied mixed with his muttered comments.
Clark put Louie back on the floor and gathered the blocks, shoving them into the bottom locker with the other toys. Louie grabbed for them. Clark handed him his stuffed cat instead. Louie clutched it and chewed on a well-worn ear.
Their real cat, Ghost, appeared from nowhere as usual. She meowed at him. Clark scratched her head. Louie grabbed for her. She slipped away, jumping up to her favorite perch high overhead.
<
br /> "I still say you're crazy," Finn said as he stomped his way off the ship.
"Probably," Clark agreed though Finn was too far away to hear. He crossed the lounge and shut the hatch.
"Adaba," Louie announced, banging his toy on the floor. The soft cat made no sound. "Adaba," Louie said again, looking up at Clark with his clear blue eyes.
"We're going again, yes," Clark told his son. "Let's get you tucked away."
The area behind the cockpit held a crib, padded on the bottom, with the sides and top enclosed by a mesh webbing. He put Louie inside.
"Fofl?" Louie asked.
"Fofl," Clark agreed. He touched a control panel. A singing, dancing blue rabbit appeared in front of a small screen. Louie sighed happily and lay down. His thumb popped into his mouth. Clark fastened the top screen shut. With any luck Louie would fall asleep.
He went into the cockpit and slid into the pilots chair. Jasyn sat at the navigation station, her head in her hands. He ran his hands down the sides of the control panel. There was a small bin at the top. Its clear front showed several seashells inside. Dace had collected them on the day Lady Rina died. He opened the bin and took out a delicately swirled pink shell. It was smooth inside and rough outside. He ran his fingers over the shell.
"Finn may be right," he said. "Maybe it is time to let her go."
"Don't say that." Jasyn's voice was harsh.
"It's been well over a year, Jasyn," he said as gently as he could. "We can't keep listing her as captain when she isn't here."
Jasyn turned her head away from him, letting her long, dark hair veil her face. "This was her dream, Trevyn. She convinced me I could dream it, too."
Clark swiveled his chair around to face her. He reached across her controls to brush the hair out of her face. He tucked it behind her ear. She'd been crying. She was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever met.
"I can't give up on her," Jasyn told him. "Not until she tells me herself she's through." She blinked, looking around the cockpit at the complicated control panels. "She talked me into buying this ship. It was a stripped down hulk, rusting away in a junkyard. She convinced me it would fly, that it was a good ship. She rebuilt the engines herself. She loved this ship. She saw possibilities in it I couldn't begin to imagine. She did the same thing with people, without even trying." Her voice trailed away into silence.
