Kristy stared at his hand, much bigger and stronger than hers. For an instant, she thought of God’s hand and how He could hold all her troubles, if she’d allow Him. Whether because of a moment of weakness or a nudging from the Lord, Kristy didn’t know, but she threw her pride behind her. “I don’t know what to do.” She pulled her hand from his and smacked it down on the pew. “I’ve walked this road, and I wanted so much more for Mel. She’s got so much potential.”
“I know. When she and Joel talked with me—”
“That boy is going to be a plumber, for crying out loud.” Kristy dipped her chin, knowing she sounded like a snob and feeling ashamed. His family had helped her on a few occasions. His parents were two of the sweetest people she knew, and there was nothing dishonorable about the occupation. She shook her head at her words and thoughts. Forgive me, Lord. I am being prideful and arrogant.
Kristy looked up at her pastor. “That was a terrible thing to say.”
“It’s okay. You’re hurt and venting.” He pointed to his chest and grinned. “I’m the right person to do that with.”
“Thank you, Wade.”
His gaze penetrated hers. Out of seemingly nowhere, an old children’s tune flowed through Kristy’s mind and she found herself “wading” through Jordan’s waters. And, wow, how she could get lost in the blue current of his eyes. She pushed the thought away. “Wade, they’re so young.”
“But they’ve made a very grown-up choice. And they were also adult enough to ask me to counsel them before they said their vows.”
“They did?” Kristy clasped her hands in her lap. That was good. A mature step in the right direction. She stood up. A small weight lifted, and she determined to cling to it with all she had. “Thanks so much.”
On impulse, she wrapped her arms around him. Having hugged her old pastor, a now retired eighty-year-old man, several times, she hadn’t prepared herself for Wade’s shoulders to be so wide and firm. She hadn’t anticipated that he would smell of an intriguing musk. She hadn’t expected a charge of electricity to shoot through her. Releasing him quickly, she dipped her head. Without making eye contact again, she turned and headed toward the door.
* * *
With the entrance shut firmly behind the woman, Wade scratched the side of his head. “So much for peace and serenity.”
He slammed his frame back down onto the pew and stared at the large wooden cross that hung on the wall behind the podium. “What have I gotten myself into, Lord? I was already wrestling with worry over counseling the young couple. And now Kristy…”
He allowed his words to taper off as he studied the dark wood of the cross, noting small places of imperfection where the stain was too dark or too light. He’d pastored a church for years. He knew his job—preach, encourage, guide, serve, minister—and he did all those things…just not the marriage counseling. Until now.
He growled. This time of year was already hard enough. With the resurrection of perennials, fruits and other foliage came the twenty-year-old memories of Zella. To most people, spring was a rejuvenating time of rebirth. To Wade, it was a time of renewed guilt.
Zella had loved the spring. She’d wanted to be married at their home church in that season. It had been all she’d talked about. And he’d loved to hear her talk about their wedding, because when she had, she’d been unable to stop smiling. Though not classically pretty, it’d been her smile that had drawn him. Her smile hadn’t been subtle, but rather, it had encompassed her whole face, like a light shining in a dark room. Her optimism had been contagious and had had a way of making the worst of situations all better. She’d been like a comforting balm of aloe on a burn. He’d never forget her.
And he’d never forget what he’d done.
Wade jumped up from the pew. He shouldn’t have agreed to counsel that young couple. He should have told them… Clenching his jaw, he shook his head. Turning forty must have played a few tricks on him. A younger Wade never would have taken a job that included counseling couples, especially young, excited, we’ll-conquer-the-world-together couples.
That’s because it’s time to deal with this.
Wade shook the thought away. His sister had said something of that nature the last time he’d visited her. But she didn’t understand. She hadn’t been there when the accident had happened. She hadn’t been the one speeding. God had forgiven him, and to a degree, he had forgiven himself, but he could never forget. Never wanted to forget.
Not forget. Truly forgive and move forward.
Wade scooped his keys out of his front pocket. Fatigue was jumbling his thoughts, messing with his emotions. He had been sure this move, one he’d prayed would be his last, would take his mind off the past pain. Maybe he was just tired. The day had been long and exhausting. He needed to head home and get some rest before preaching in the morning. He walked out the front door, then turned and twisted the knob. Locked. Just like my heart.
Chapter 4
Kristy looked at the alarm clock. Between guilt-ridden thoughts and prayers of mercy, she’d barely slept a moment. After forcing herself out of bed, she staggered to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She wiped it dry, then looked at her blotchy, puffy-eyed reflection. She’d hoped someone would call and say the news had been a joke, a high school prank, but the only text she’d received was one from Mel, saying she was spending the night with her dad and Leah. Again.
While Kristy brushed her teeth, she thought of Leah’s knowing, pitying expression when Mel had told Kristy about the pregnancy. Jealousy swelled within her. Leah had known everything. Mel had confided in her stepmom, but not Kristy. In Mel’s eyes, Leah was understanding and compassionate. Ha. Leah had no idea what being a teen mom was like. She and Tim had both had their degrees and bought a house before they’d got married and had their first son. Sure Tim had already had Mel, and he’d been a good enough dad to her, but he hadn’t been the one who’d stayed up all night when she’d had a stomach bug, then had taken college exams the next day. He hadn’t been the one who’d begged friends to babysit when professors hadn’t allowed a baby in their classes.
Kristy put on a T-shirt and a pair of shorts, then plodded into the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. The front door opened as she sat down. “I’m home, Mom” echoed down the hall, and Kristy closed her eyes and asked God to give her the right words to say.
Mel walked into the kitchen and offered a sheepish grin. She tapped the corner of her eye. “Rough night, huh?”
“Just a bit,” Kristy responded through clenched teeth. Mel opened the cabinet. “I’m hungry, but I’m so nauseous. Nothing sounds good.” She took a sleeve of crackers from the box and sat down across from Kristy. “Leah tried to give me some eggs and sausage.” She crinkled her nose. “But the smell was killing me. Had to get out of there.”
Kristy glanced at her bowl of sweetened corn flakes. She wasn’t the least bit surprised Leah fed Tim a perfect hot breakfast each morning. “How long have you known about the pregnancy?”
“No beating around the bush, huh?”
Kristy shook her head. She had no desire to play games. Joel and Mel had thrown a curveball into the plan, and now they needed to figure out how to get back on track.
“A month.”
Kristy gawked at her daughter. “A month? Mel, we need to make you an appointment with the doctor. Make sure everything is okay.”
“Leah’s already taken me to her doctor once.” She stared down at the crackers, then shrugged. “She was a nice lady. Got me some prenatal vitamins.”
Kristy swallowed back the hurt that threatened to spew from her mouth like an erupting volcano. How could Mel trust her stepmom more than her? Kristy had been the one to care for Mel when she’d been sick, to run to the store for materials for last-minute homework assignments, to go to concerts and parent/teacher conferences and host birthday parties. She’d thought they were as close as peanut butter and jelly. She cleared her throat. “When’s your due date?
”
“January 13.”
Kristy cringed. “Beginning of spring semester. But at least you’ll be able to get half a year under your belt.”
“I’m not going to school in the fall.”
“Don’t worry. Fall won’t be a problem. You might be a little physically uncomfortable by the end of the semester, but—”
“I’m not going at all next year.”
Kristy stared at her daughter, noting her set jaw and defensive posture.
“Now, Mel—”
“Mom, I don’t want to be a lawyer. I haven’t wanted to be a lawyer for two years. I’ve tried to tell you, but you’d never listen.”
“Okay.” Kristy placed her spoon in the cereal bowl, willing herself to remain calm. “But you still need to get a degree.”
“Why? I want to be a wife and mom and maybe teach piano and guitar lessons on the side.”
“Well, Mel. I know you love your music, and you think Joel will be with you forever—”
“Just because you didn’t want to be with Dad doesn’t mean things won’t work out for me and Joel.”
Kristy wiped her palms against her shorts. “Honestly, Mel. You are smarter than this. I’ve raised you—”
“You’ve raised me to be independent, to take care of myself, but I’m choosing to trust God.”
Kristy huffed. “Really? I’m pretty sure the Bible has a few things to say about waiting for intimacy until you’re married.”
“This is why I didn’t come to you first.” Mel hopped out of the chair. “We messed up, but we’re trying to make it right.”
The doorbell rang before Kristy could blast her with a retort of how foolish and immature she and Joel had been.
“Who’s that?” Mel asked.
“Probably Carrie. I’m watching Noah so she and Michael can have lunch together.”
Mel’s eyes glistened as Kristy hustled to the front door. Kristy huffed. Maybe spending some time with her fussy nephew would help her see just how challenging life would be for her and Joel.
She could hear Noah’s cries, even before opening the front door. Carrie’s eyes were puffier than Kristy’s, and exhaustion marked her features. She offered a weak smile. “He’s hungry. Doc took him off the soy-formula supplement. Now we’re trying a superexpensive brand that’s supposed to be close to breast milk.”
Carrie placed the car seat on the coffee table, and Kristy hoisted Noah out of the seat, then bounced around to calm him.
“No problem. Why don’t you take a good nap before you come back to get him?”
“You mean it?”
“Absolutely. My day is open, and you look tired.”
“I am worn out. We’re just having such a hard time figuring out what his digestive system can tolerate.” She exhaled a long breath, then turned to Mel. “I’m sorry I missed your graduation party.” She wrapped her arms around her.
“I’m so proud of you.”
Kristy shooed her sister out the door. “Go on and get some lunch and rest.”
“Okay.” She waved, then winked at Mel. “Enjoy the peaceful years now.” She nodded to Noah. “Everything changes when you have a baby.”
Kristy almost laughed out loud at her sister’s advice, but Noah released a scream that echoed through the house. She handed Mel the baby, then searched through the diaper bag for the bottle. She placed the bottle in a cup of warm water, then went back to the living room to take the screaming infant from her daughter. Mel’s perplexed expression said it all. She wasn’t ready to be a mother.
* * *
After an early-morning run with Bo, during which Wade had thought about the sermon he’d preached last Sunday on God’s grace in the midst of trials, he still felt conflicted about counseling Mel and Joel. Not to mention Kristy’s continual invasion into his thoughts. She’d sat stoically through the church service, with Mel and Joel beside her holding hands. Tonight, after the midweek prayer meeting, the church would recognize the graduates, and Wade felt anxious for Kristy all over again.
“Here ya go, Pastor Wade.” Eustace Owens, one of the church’s active senior citizens, handed him a grouping of three balloons. She pointed to the corner. “If you wouldn’t mind, tape those up there. I’m not quite as sturdy on a ladder as I used to be.”
“Of course.” Wade took the balloons and secured them. “You all have done a terrific job.” He looked at each of the four women, who were decorating the church’s fellowship hall. “Last spring we recognized graduates at my church in Phoenix, but nothing this elaborate.”
“Doesn’t take much to get us excited about celebrating,” said Ida Freemont, the oldest lady of the bunch, though he’d have never known it if she hadn’t said as much. She wore her hair to her shoulders and kept it dyed to a dark brown. Her clothes and even her glasses were trendy, not so much as to appear tacky, but she definitely seemed a few decades younger than her age.
“We like to eat,” added Dortha Evans.
“And compete to see who makes the best dishes,” Eustace piped in.
“Not me.” Wilma Rice snorted. “We all know I can’t cook.”
The women mumbled their agreement.
Wilma continued, “But I make sure drinks and paper products are available.”
“And you’re the kindest of all of us.” Dortha wrapped her arm around Wilma.
Eustace huffed and then rolled her eyes as she turned back to Wade. “Here’s how this works. You’ll do a tenor fifteen-minute devotional about the graduates starting new lives. Then we’ll give them their gifts—a new Bible, a framed certificate and a gift card to a department store. One of the deacons will say a prayer over the food and then we’ll eat. Okay?”
Wade bit his tongue at Eustace’s abrasive orders. He hadn’t been here long enough to force changes on the congregation, but he also didn’t like being told how to lead a recognition service. Still, to keep the peace and in an effort to gain their trust, he would go along with her demanding ways. For now. He clasped his hands together. “That sounds fine. We have twelve graduates?”
“Yes. Four from college. Two more who are graduating from college, but they were nontraditional students, already have kids. The other six are all from high school. Two were taught at home. The other four attended different schools. Except Mel and Joel. They went to the same one.”
Wade nodded. A scowl furrowed Eustace’s brows, and she leaned closer to him. “I’ve heard rumors about Mel and Joel.”
The other ladies heard Eustace and dropped their decorations and walked toward them.
“Don’t start with that,” said Ida. “That’s just a bunch of gossip.”
“You’re the one who told me,” retorted Eustace.
“I know, but I should have kept my mouth shut.” Ida shook her head.
Wilma clicked her tongue. “Kristy would be devastated.” She placed her palm on her chest. “If the rumor’s true, I mean.”
“The poor dear has worked so hard all these years,” added Dortha.
“These days, kids do whatever they want to do,” said Eustace. “And let’s be honest. It would serve Kristy right.”
Wade fought back the desire to put the elderly woman in her place. He wasn’t sure what rumor they’d heard, but whether true or not, Eustace obviously hadn’t listened to his sermon about God’s grace through trials.
“Now, Eustace,” Wilma cooed. “Didn’t you listen to Pastor Wade talk about God’s grace?”
He bit back a grin. The woman must have been a mind reader.
“Of course God gives us grace,” Eustace retorted. “But He also says He punishes children to the third and fourth generation when we don’t follow His laws.”
“Oh, dear.” Ida pressed her fingertips against her mouth.
Wade couldn’t keep silent any longer. “I’m not sure what rumor you’ve heard, but no matter what they have or haven’t done, God loves a repentant heart. He blesses us when we acknowledge our sins and turn back to Him.”
“Sure.” E
ustace bristled. “But we still gotta face the consequences.”
Wilma waved her hand through the air. “Stop all this, Eustace. If the rumor is true, we’ll be doing more celebrating.”
“Like a wedding and a baby shower,” Eustace snapped, then turned toward him. “I also heard you’re going to be doing some marriage counseling.”
Wade had no idea who had shared all this information with Eustace. Everything she said was true, but she made the circumstances sound as if they’d been secretive and sinful. Joel and Mel should not have gotten pregnant. They should have waited before having a physical relationship. But they hadn’t. They were repentant and looking toward following God now. They couldn’t change the past, but they could press on and fight the good fight for the future.
He churned over a response in his mind. He’d dealt with many hardened, bitter or judgmental members in his old congregation, where he’d ministered for seventeen years. Often their attitudes had stemmed from their own needs for forgiveness, and they’d sought to hurt others as a ruse. Remembering this, his heart softened for the woman, and he smiled. “Eustace, I can’t tell you the private information about other members, but you can pray. When you hear something about one of your brothers or sisters, pray that God will heal and bless them.”
“Humph.” Eustace picked up several tablecloths and headed toward the other side of the fellowship hall. Her friends joined her, and then they spread them on the tables.
Wade focused on getting chairs out of the storage closet and setting them up around the tables. Just like any family, every church had people who thrived on stirring discord. God, show me how to be a leader. How to lead by example. Right now, I don’t feel love for Eustace. I feel a need to show her the sin of gossip in Your word, to show her how You loved the unlovable.
As the prayer slipped through his mind, he looked over at the women. They cackled as they pressed the creases with their hands. Eustace saw Kristy and Mel and Joel as unlovable. He saw Eustace as the unlovable one. If he was going to lead by example, he’d have to purposefully choose to love Eustace.
Arizona Pastor Page 3
