by Ria Cantrell
Jeanne tried to console her friend saying, “Aww, there now. Why don’t you try to find him and apologize? Explain that you had recently been in a long term relationship that ended and that you needed to move slowly. That you didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.”
“I wish it was that simple. I can’t tell him. I have no way of finding him. He is gone. I sent him away. I ruined his chances.”
Jeanne was silent for a few minutes and she said, “What do you mean, ruined his chances? That sounds like you are being very hard on yourself.”
“I can’t explain it. It is so unbelievable that you would think I have lost my mind.”
“Come on Ki, how long have we known each other? I know you like I know myself.”
No you don’t. You don’t know that I was a freak who communicated with ghosts…you don’t know that I have fallen in love with a man from centuries ago. “I don’t know how to explain it, actually.”
“What is he like? What’s his name? Why don’t you start with that.”
“His name is Derek Campbell.”
“Ahhh, a local, I take it.”
“In a manner of speaking.”
Jeannie laughed, trying to lighten the mood of her best friend, “Tell me what he looks like. I want all the details.”
“He is very big. Massive, like a body builder, but not muscle bound. Natural, like, from working. He is beautiful, Jeannie. I have never seen a guy as gorgeous as this guy. He wears his hair long, you know, like a rock star…I guess you would say he is a throw-back from the past. He has these amazing blue-green eyes…the kind that peer into your very soul.”
“Andddddd, get to the good stuff. Did you kiss him?”
“Yes.”
“More than kiss him?” Kiera felt herself blush thinking about it. She said softly, “Yes.”
“Spill it, girlie. I want all the steamy details.”
Will you think it steamy when you find out I had sex with a ghost. Kiera thought this to herself, but then said, “You know, we…kissed… and one thing led to another…and--”
“Was it better than it was with Jax?”
“It was better than with anyone I had ever been with.”
“That settles it then. You have to find him. Apologize…and have fantastic make-up sex.”
“I wish it was that simple, Jeannie. I honestly don’t think I will ever see him again. I said some pretty awful things to him.”
Jeannie sighed. She said, “I’m sorry, Ki. I really wanted you to meet someone wonderful. It sounds like he was.”
“He was. The problem was that there were challenges, I did not think I could overcome.”
“Like what?”
Like that he was a six hundred plus year old ghost…that I could only make love to him in my dreams…that I was going to lose my mind if I allowed it to continue.
“Just challenges. It doesn’t matter now. He is gone and there is nothing I can do about it.”
“I bet he will call you. Give him time.”
“He won’t be calling me, Jeannie. I can promise you that.”
Jeannie listened to her friend and she offered advice as best she could. Jeanne could not bring herself to tell her that Jax had tried to get her to tell him where Kiera was again. She did not want to add to her friend’s distress. She omitted that information and just lent her “shoulder” to cry on. When Kiera hung up, she did not feel better, but at least someone else now knew there had been a Derek Campbell. With a heavy heart and a heavy sigh, she sat down at her laptop to catch up on her emails. She wished upon everything she knew that she would find an email from Derek or Morag or Gavin, but she knew that was just impossible.
Instead, there was the customary junk mail and some silly inane jokes, which she could not even entertain at the moment. She was sure she would never laugh again. She was about to shut off her computer when she received a notification that a new mail had just been received. It was from Billie and Karen. Billie had wanted to thank Kiera for an awesome weekend because he had been able to get some amazing photos during his stay at Castle Campbell. He attached several of the photos he was going to work into his next exhibit for Kiera to look at.
Kiera flipped through the many beautiful shots and she was reminded how breathtaking her little piece of Scotland was. Shot after shot fortified how lucky she had been to live there, even if it was now for only a little while. As she scanned the photos with a heavy and melancholy heart, she stopped in her tracks at a particular one. It was a picture of a tower ruin, with clinging vines covering most of the façade of it. Amazingly, there was a heavy medieval looking door, still intact on the front of the tower. Kiera’s heart started to beat rapidly in her chest.
Oh my God! That was the tower I had seen in my dreams before arriving here. That was where she had first seen Derek, long before she had even come to Scotland. She remembered all of it now. What had been just shadows of her memory had suddenly become brilliant reality.
Kiera grabbed her cell phone again and with shaking fingers, she pushed the numbers to call Karen. She answered quite quickly and Kiera blurted out, “Karen, let me speak to Billie, please. I have to ask him something important.”
Laughing, Karen said, “Oh, okay. Hang on. He is printing out some of his pictures from his trip over there. Bill, come here a minute. Kiera’s on the phone and she wants to talk to you,” Karen called.
When Kiera heard Billie’s deep southern drawl, she said, “Billie, I just got your pictures.”
“Oh did you like them, darlin’?”
“Yeah, yeah, they are amazing…but I need to know where the one with tower was taken.”
“Wasn’t that cool? I was walking through the woods after the picnic and stumbled upon it. Scotland has so many cool ancient ruins like that.”
“My woods? Beyond the grounds of the keep?”
He chuckled, “Yes your woods. You follow the trees away from the lake and you will find it about a quarter of a mile in. It is pretty hidden with lots of plant growth and underbrush, but you should be able to find it.”
“You are a life saver. Thank you so much.”
He said with an unspoken smile of uncertainty, “Okay, whatever you say, girl. I will send you the rest as soon as I can finish printing them off.”
Kiera did not even wait to say goodbye. She did not have a minute to waste. She checked herself in the mirror and washed her face. It seemed red and swollen from crying, so she splashed cold water over her eyes and applied some fresh mascara. She ran a brush through her hair, primping as if she was going to see a lover. She hoped beyond hope that she actually was. She changed her sweater to that soft blue angora one that she loved. It was the one she had been wearing when she first met Derek. He had seemed to like looking at it. The sweater showed her curves and accentuated her décolletage in an alluring way. Dabbing on some of her best perfume, she was ready to find the tower. If Derek was anywhere to be found, it would be there in the tower. Kiera was sure of it.
Chapter 32
Kiera made her way through the woods that bordered the Keep. The underbrush was more than a little treacherous and branches snagged into her hair as she tried to skitter over roots and branches that littered the floor of the shaded forest. A couple of times, she almost stumbled when her toe hit a hidden obstacle beneath fallen leaves or hidden under the cover of moss and bracken. It was already late in the day and the sun would be setting soon, so Kiera had to find the tower quickly or she would risk being stuck in the darkness of the woods. The gloom was starting to settle over the place as the thicket shielded the light from the sky.
Kiera could smell the scent of upturned earth as her shoes crunched through the mossy ground beneath her. Its tangy odor was not unpleasant, but she realized she may have been going in the wrong direction. No one had walked this way in quite some time. As the sunlight continued to fade, so did Kiera’s hopes of finding the tower; and for that matter, her way out of the dense trees.
Something spurred her on, though, and when
she was just about to give up, her eye caught something to the left of her. She turned and there it was. It was practically hidden with greenery, but as the light flickered through the leafy overhangs, Kiera could see the distinct stone that made the front of the tower. She tried not to hurry over to it, because she did not want to risk tripping and falling on her face. She carefully took herself to the front of the tower and saw that it was not so much ruined as she had first imagined it to be. It was, in fact, quite well maintained, except for the heavy growth of vines and brambles.
Kiera approached the large oak door that was definitely intact. Pulling away some of the briars, a thorn tore into her finger. She cursed, “Damn it!”
Crimson droplets of blood beaded from the pad of her finger and before she could take it to her lips, she watched as two ruby drops fell onto the handle of the massive wooden door. Sucking her finger into her mouth, she then grabbed the handle and tugged, thinking it would not even budge. To her surprise, the door opened quite easily. As her finger continued to drip small beads of blood onto the handle, she noticed a rusty looking smear beneath her palm. Only it wasn’t rust. Someone else had cut his or her hand as well. It had been recent by the looks of it! Kiera had a fleeting thought that maybe Billie had cut himself while photographing the spot, but as her hand gripped the handle, mixing her blood with the dried blood on it, she knew it was not Billie’s blood, but Derek’s.
Ghosts didn’t bleed. Only a living man could bleed.
…Things are not always what they appear, lass.
Kiera’s heart began to pound wildly in her chest. It fluttered so rapidly, that it took her breath away. “Derek,” she called but got no answer. As tears choked her, with trembling hands, she yanked on the door, not sure what she would find inside. She expected the stale smell of death and rot to assail her as the door creaked open, but as she peered into the inky blackness of the passage into the tower, the scent of freshly dried rushes reached her nose. Small motes of dust spiraled ahead of her as the last shafts of light from the day beamed through the forest ceiling. Kiera inched her way into the tower and stumbled as her toe connected with the foot of the ancient steps. She cursed herself for not bringing a flash light because she sure could have used it now as the darkness pressed upon her like a living thing. She did not even want to think about finding her way out of the forest once the sun had completely set. She knew that she should get back to the Keep before the last light of day lit her way out of the trees and seek the tower again in the morning, but she just could not wait that long. If she had to, she would seek shelter for the night in the tower and she prayed that forest animals had not made it their home, as well.
Kiera took the steps carefully, feeling her way on the curving wall to the left of her. There were no hand rails and so, she had to hug the wall in order to not topple down whatever steps she had already ascended. She was grateful that the stone was not covered with slime or moss, but was amazingly clear of what her imagination had been conjuring. The cold roughness was actually comforting to the touch of her palm as she inched her way further up the seemingly ever-spiraling stone staircase. This had been preserved as it had been when Derek lived, she realized and she hoped beyond hope that his soul yet lived. Just when she thought it could not get any darker, a sudden wind seemed to course up the steps and the heavy wooden door, which had not been easy to open, slammed shut.
“Shit,” she cursed out loud. That startled her more than she wanted to admit. She grabbed her chest over her heart and tried to take a deep breath. That had scared the crap out of her! Leaning against the wall for support, she gulped in breaths to still the pounding in her chest and to steady the knees that seemed to suddenly be quaking. After she had calmed sufficiently, Kiera’s eyes tried to adjust to the consuming blackness of the stone tower. Her ears strained to hear the slightest of movements or sounds, but she only heard silence, which was as heavy as the shadow pressing upon her. Steeling herself, Kiera pushed on up the winding steps that grew steeper as she moved higher within the tower. She didn’t remember it being such a long flight in her dreams.
With a trembling voice, Kiera called again, “Derek, please speak to me.”
Still she heard nothing. With hope fading, she heaved a deep sigh and continued on her journey. Her heart suddenly felt as heavy as the thick darkness enveloping her. She was too late. He was gone; else he would have answered her. As silent tears began to trickle down her face, Kiera moved up to the final few steps and was met with another closed wooden door. She felt for a handle, but could not find one. Damn it! Leaning against the solidity of the door for a moment, she felt defeated. As she pressed her forehead to it, she silently begged it to open and she pleaded for another chance. Mumbling an incoherent prayer, Kiera splayed both hands on the rough-hewn wood and pushed with all her might.
Similarly to the door leading into the tower, the portal gave way and Kiera stumbled inside. Light from candles splashed through the doorway, momentarily blinding Kiera from having been plunged in that miasma of black. She lost her balance and faltered, causing her to sprawl face forward. She cried out as she hit the floor with a thud and it had not registered that there were candles burning in the room at the top of the stairs. She shook herself off and tried to push herself from her knees. Suddenly, the feel of strong hands was drawing her up. Her eyes still had not readjusted to the light, so she could not see clearly. Blowing her hair from her eyes, he came into her line of sight. It was him. He was there!
“I’ve been waiting for ye’, lass. Ye’ dunna’ know how long.”
Staring up at him in a combination of disbelief and relief, Kiera found she could not speak. Tears streaked from her eyes, both from the brightness of the room and from the overwhelming emotions that seemed to pour from her suddenly unlocked heart.
A crease of concern drew Derek’s brows together and his big hand gently brushed the tears off of her cheek.
“Did ye’ hurt yerself’ when ye’ fell, Lass?”
Shaking her head, no, Kiera choked back a sob.
With a tentative smile, Derek asked, “Then why are ye’ crying?”
Kiera did not answer him. She reached up to his towering height and kissed him fully on his mouth.
Lifting her up in his arms, he held her against him and kissed her back. She kissed him with abandon and relief in finding him. She kissed him because she had wanted to from the day she first saw him. She kissed him because she knew now that she loved him.
As his tongue glided against hers, Kiera pushed off of him and stepped back from him momentarily. Finally, the realization hit her and she stared at him in disbelief.
“Oh my God…I can feel you. Are you here or am I dreaming again?”
Derek took her hand to his lips and kissed the finger that the thorn had pierced. The fall on the floor had made it bleed again and he tasted the tang of it on his tongue.
“Lass, ye’ dunna’ bleed in dreams.”
“Then you are real…you are really here. I can really touch you.”
The smile gentled in his eyes and he said, “Aye, ye’ can touch me.”
“But how?”
“I know not how. It seems in the tower, ye’ can touch me. And apparently, ye’ can kiss me,” He said with a grin.
As blush stained her cheeks, Derek did not wait for her to get all haughty on him again. Instead, he took her into his arms and held her. He bent his head and kissed her deeply, until he felt her legs buckle under her and he grabbed her; carrying her to a pallet beneath the lone window of the tower room. It was almost as if she had swooned and settling himself beside her, he stroked her face and said, “Lass…are ye’ alright?”
Instead of answering him, she tugged him down onto her and she kissed him in earnest. With a little laugh, Derek said, “Have a care, Lass. I am a verra’ old man.”
Kissing him again she finally said, “Can you ever forgive me?”
“For what, lass? Ye’ have done naught that needs my forgiveness. Ye’ had every right to be
angered of me.”
“I said some terrible things…things I didn’t mean…things I wish I could take back.”
“Oh, what things? Oh, aye, now I recall…ye’ mean the part about damning my immortal soul to the pits of hell?”
Kiera’s eyes widened in horror as he repeated her terrible words to her and she nodded. Only, Derek smiled again.
God he was beautiful when he smiled.
He said, “Well, I wasna’ too bothered about that. After all, I had been cursed to a bodiless hell for nearly seven spans and so yer’ curse held no real threat to me.”
Stroking her face, and looking into her eyes, his expression changed. Sadness suddenly filled his eyes and he said, “The worst hell of all was losing ye’.”
“Oh Derek,” she sobbed, as fresh tears washed down her face.
“Sshh, shhsh. That t’is of no matter. Ye’ are here now.”
“But…we… I…”
“Ssh. No talking…not now. We can talk of it later. For now, I plan to use my mouth for much more important things.”
Kiera laughed through her tears. “Blackguard,” she teased.
“Well, once a rogue, always a rogue. Ye’ may as well get used to it.”
“Yes, used to it…I want to get used to it for a long, long time,” she admitted.
“Oh, really, lassie? And why would that be?”
“You are shameless. I think you know why.”
“I’ve waited almost seven hundred years to hear it and to feel it. Can ye’ please just tell me?”
It was a plea no longer said in jest. Kiera knew he needed to hear the words more than he had needed his mortality. Cupping his sculpted square jaw in her hands, she looked Derek in the eyes and said, “Because I love you, Derek Campbell.”
“I love ye’, too Kiera MacCollum. I have from the moment I first laid eyes on ye’.”
Feeling happiness fill her for the first time in months, possibly even years, Kiera laughed softly and then said, “I thought you had more important things to do than talk.”
“Ye’ are a wicked, wicked woman, Kiera MacCollum”, he said with a wink. “But I am far wickeder and I aim to show ye’ just how wicked I can be.”
