by Jeff Gunzel
“Oh, Rishima,” Bella said softly, a deep sadness weighing heavy in her eyes. She kissed Rishima’s forehead before pulling her in close. They embraced for a time before she spoke again. “Even now it’s hard for me to believe. My fall from grace, my brush with death, yet all of that followed by possibly the happiest days of my life. I shouldn’t even be here. Only weeks ago I had a different life, one of power and influence. Now it seems so long ago I can hardly remember it.
“When you first asked me to join you, all I could remember were the difficulties of my former life. A life of sacrifices made to both myself, and to those I cared for. And all of that pain for what? I was practically a slave to the king, forced to abandon my friends and family. All this for the privilege of being a puppet for the city. When I think of how hard I worked, how much I gave up to achieve such misery, I sincerely begin to question my own sanity. I promised myself I would never walk that road again.”
Rishima loosened her grip, releasing Bella’s hand as she dropped her head.
“I was motivated by greed and got precisely what I deserved,” Bella continued. “I learned from the inside what truly motivates a king. He serves the people only when it serves his own interests. That is the way of things. It has always been the way. But perhaps my motivations are different this time around. I served out of greed once before and I will never do so again. I would not do this for you or even for myself. This time there is something bigger at stake, and if my presence at your side will somehow make a difference...”
Rishima lifted her head, her eyes filled with hope. “I told you before that I cannot do this alone. My feelings for you aside, those words still hold true.”
Bella rose from the bed, helping Rishima up off her knees. “Then you will not do it alone. I once bled for a man who cared nothing for me. Now I beg for the chance to bleed for a woman who means everything to me. I swear my allegiance here and now to Lunaris Tower and to the Moon Mistress. If this is my calling, my second chance at redemption, then I accept it with all that I am. I know these ghatins who threaten our world are not to be taken lightly. I see the spiritists have accepted the challenge to stand up to them. Why should the humans not rise to the call?”
She looked down a- her ankle, eyeing the three pronged scepter. “This was once considered a symbol of individual power belonging only to the one who bears the mark. I no longer see it with my old eyes. I now know this symbol has nothing to do with individuality. I was chosen, and have yet to live up to that honor. This power belongs to the people. I am but a weapon gifted the ability to use or abuse that authority, nothing more. It is time to give back all I have taken. You have given me a chance at rebirth, and I shall not waste it. I will answer the call, not as a representative of the humans, but as a symbol to all living things.
“May our enemies tremble at our feet!”
Chapter 9
“We’re getting close,” said Jarlen, his pace slowing. He was beginning to look uneasy, constantly looking around even though they hadn’t seen another soul in days. But that would change once they drew closer to the outskirts of Shadowfen.
“Looks like it’s only a bit further,” Assirra said, holding her map high, slapping away some of the crinkles. She turned it side to side, trying to assess exactly where they were. “We will see it long before we get there. I don’t imagine a city out in the desert will be a hard thing to miss.” True as that was, they were still in the forest where there was limited visibility. But they wouldn’t be for much longer. Even now the trees seemed to be thinning. Soon the road would lead them away from the cool shade. An increase in scattered light breaking through the treetops was already becoming apparent.
“I don’t need to see that scribbled piece of parchment to know where I am,” Jarlen growled. With his iron demeanor quickly deteriorating, he was beginning to make Assirra nervous. He was becoming twitchy and looking very unstable. “I’ve only traveled this path once before, but every inch of it is burned into my brain. Bound, practically sedated by the suppressing magic of that dammed collar, and still I can remember these surroundings as if it were yesterday. Funny how that works. You can walk the same path daily for years and never notice the disappearance of a bush or an entire tree. That is because there is no logical reason to believe you’re seeing it for the last time.
“But it’s nothing like that when you believe your life is soon to come to an end. Your mind takes it all in, down to the very last detail. That tree,” he pointed to the side. “I remember those markings carved into the bark.” Sure enough, someone had attempted to cut a crude design into its trunk—faded, the lines swollen over from the passing years, but it was definitely there. “And over there!” He pointed to the opposite side of the road. “I can still recall that gnarled oak. Look at it, twisted and bent like some ancient—”
“Enough,” Assirra interrupted. “I’ll not have you blathering on like some paranoid drunkard.” His savage glare flashed her way, red eyes flaring with the lingering threat of violence. But his rage quickly subsided. He looked away and continued his slow march down the worn road. Hugging himself, his hands rubbed opposite shoulders as he mumbled incoherently. It was only at that moment when Assirra first realized what he must be going through. They were heading right back to the place he had longed to escape from for so many years now.
In this regard, he was much like any other creature of the wild threatened with captivity. There was no faster way to domesticate one than to take away its free will. Once enough time passed, the light in its eyes slowly begins to dim. Soon, all the instincts go dormant and it becomes but a shadow of its former self. Given an actual choice, many might prefer death.
“Jarlen,” said Assirra, trotting her horse up to ride beside him. “I’m sorry. Please, don’t think I am not grateful for your companionship. I know this is not easy for you.”
“You know nothing,” he muttered, still rubbing his shoulders as he walked. He seemed to be holding it together by a thread.
“Look, all I’m saying is that I need you to be focused. Otherwise, you become a liability. I can’t focus on our mission and keep an eye on you as well.”
“Let me make one thing clear to you,” Jarlen said with a harsh laugh. “I am not doing this for you.” He seemed steadier now. “Yes, there was once a time when I would have jumped into the sky and captured the stars had you asked me. But that was long ago. No longer are we that foolish young couple, believing this cruel world would just turn a blind eye to our forbidden relationship. We were from different worlds. It was doomed from the start.”
“Agreed,” Assirra replied, wincing at the way her voice cracked. The least she could do was try to sound just as confident as he did. Why did I answer so quickly?
“Well, this is different. It’s personal, and has nothing to do with you. I made a mistake, and I’m here to atone for that.” Assirra nodded her understanding. “But...”
“Yes?” she asked, tilting her head curiously. He was hesitating for some reason, and she wanted him to speak his mind.
“But I...” He cleared his throat. “I don’t believe I would have found the courage to do this alone. To be honest, I would have probably spent the rest of my days a free man. A free, homeless rogue who hated himself. How many years might have passed before I simply took matters into my own hands and ended my meaningless existence? Is that better than being forced to risk my life in the pit for the entertainment of these humans? I can’t be sure. I suspect neither life would be considered living at all.” He looked up to see her thoughtful expression. He saw no judgment in those eyes as she hung on his every word. “At least this way I have a chance to make a difference. I’m doing this on my own terms. No matter how any of this turns out... I, well… Thank you.”
She smiled down at him. “You really are a fool, aren’t you?” He raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Had you not joined me, I would have probably made only half the journey before turning back. In fact, I am certain of it. My intentions are good, but I am no
hero. Can’t you see I am just as frightened as you are? I know that Viola needs me, but that alone would not have been enough to keep me going. I wouldn’t have made it this far. Is that not the most cowardly thing you have ever heard?”
“No,” he said softly, reaching up to put his hand on her knee. “I guess we are both cowards. Perhaps together, we can find just enough strength to see this through.” Holding his hand, she rubbed his fingers with her thumb. Feeling renewed, a peace that came from better understanding each other’s motivations on this quest, the two of them rode on.
“There,” Assirra said after a time, pointing up ahead. Off in the distance the trees seemed to have all but disappeared, leaving a wide-open clearing. The sunlight poured down onto the path like a shining beacon. Drawing closer to the forest’s edge, Jarlen gazed around uneasily. This was where it had happened. This was where he found his sister battling some strange creature that looked much like himself. What was that thing anyway? What did it want with her?
The suppressed memory was coming back to him now. Undead fighting all around, a few of them apparently controlled by Viola. How had she done that? He had no such abilities. Strange how he hadn’t thought of any of this since that day.
“Jarlen, it everything all right?” asked Assirra, watching as he moved from tree to tree, rubbing his hands across their bark. He didn’t answer.
He could still remember the way he felt when he saw her fighting for her life. In that fleeting moment his instincts had taken over. The need to protect his family outweighed his plan to betray her. He walked back across the path to the other side and knelt down near a fallen tree. Splintered, shredded, it was one he had decimated himself while trying to fight off that creature. But it moved so fast, far faster than any living thing he had ever encountered.
Then, a most horrid thought occurred to him. Would she have been better off? He knew what life in the pit was like for someone like himself. Many a time he had wished for death, a mercy that seemed to be given to all those around him at some point. It was a mercy he had dealt to hundreds with his own bare hands, but it never seemed to find him. If I had let that creature kill her, would that have been the humane thing to do? He couldn’t have been held accountable for breaking his part of the deal. It would have been out of his control. She would have been given...mercy.
“Jarlen?” Assirra said again, alighting from her horse. She approached him cautiously, not exactly sure what he was thinking.
He took a step forward, eyes on the ground as his toes inched up. He seemed to be matching up his feet with some unseen footprints. “I was standing right here,” he said.
“Dear sister,” he said, pulling her close, embracing her in a warm hug. “I’m so very sorry for all of this,” he whispered in her ear. Content in the embrace of her long-lost brother, the meaning of Jarlen’s words hardly registered. He was going to protect her from now on. She would be safe. She would be—
Click...
She felt a coolness around her neck as the collar snapped shut.
“I was standing right here when I took everything from her,” he said, raising his hands to close the invisible collar as if she were still standing there. “I can still see the look in her eyes. It wasn’t hate or even anger, just...disbelief. She didn’t even think it was real.”
“Embrace that darkness,” said Assirra. Startled by her bluntness, he snapped free from his vision of betrayal.
“Focus on it. Use it. Do not forget for one second what you have done, for I am certain Viola is reminded of it each and every day.” She turned back and hopped back up on her horse. “As soon as you accept full responsibility with no more excuses, it will no longer be a distraction that lingers like a dark cloud. No more feeling sorry for yourself. Together we will share this burden and together shall correct it. We are done talking about what might have been. The future is now and it is time to act. Have I made myself clear?”
“Indeed,” he said, feeling lighter somehow. He felt a strange relief in knowing that they had reached the point of no return. He would make up for his betrayal or die in the attempt to make things right. Openly accepting either result brought a feeling of peace.
“Good,” she said, rummaging through her saddlebag. “Now take this.” With a snap of her wrist she tossed him a ball of soft dark-blue fabric. Catching it, he gave it a shake as the hooded cloak unrolled in his hands. “I packed this just in case. I had a feeling you just might make this journey with me.”
“I hope this simple disguise will be enough,” he said, slipping the cloak up over his head.
“May Odao’s light shine on us both. Now let’s go.”
When moving to the edge of the forest, the difference in environment seemed like night and day. The sun was blinding when compared to the scattered light beneath the sheltering trees. Stifling heat smacked them right in the face. Like a barren wasteland, everything before them appeared lifeless and dead. Dry winds shifted the sands, shaping and reshaping the desert right before their eyes. It was hard to believe anything could live in these conditions. Jarlen had grown used to the heat, but Assirra was forced to stop and catch her breath.
“It takes years to fully adapt to the climate,” said Jarlen, starting to make his way down the sandy slope. “I certainly hope we won’t be here that long. Besides, it’s not as bad inside the city walls. They keep the dry winds from pulling away your body’s moisture.” It was a slow walk down given the loose sand and windy conditions. But once Assirra’s horse was walking on packed dirt, they started to move along quite well. Had it been a clear day, they would have been able to see the city quite easily, but the blowing sands had severely limited their vision.
They were nearly right on top of the city when its massive walls came into view. Hidden in the haze of sandy wind, it was as if the mighty structure had materialized like a shadow right before them. Soldiers marched across the high stone walls, each clad in golden chainmail, their breastplates marked with a black raven with a leafless branch in its beak. During most of this stretch, the road had been mostly barren save for a few stragglers here and there. But here near the gate, the crowd had thickened and was moving slowly as guardsmen went about their routine inspections.
“Stay covered and keep your head down,” Assirra rasped, only now realizing they were about to be inspected before being allowed to enter the city. She had been so preoccupied with Jarlen that she hadn’t planned ahead for this. Jarlen shrunk himself down as best as he could, rounding his shoulders and back. Hood draped low, he tried to appear as meek and unassuming as possible. When the group of five before them got sent on, one of the soldiers waved them forward. Head high and shoulders back, Assirra trotted up.
“State your business,” said the sleepy-eyed guard, two others leaning against the open metal gate. Luckily, they seemed disinterested in hearing the answer to a question they had to ask several times per hour. Hopefully they could slide by with any vague answer.
“We have business in the city,” Assirra stated plainly.
“Which is?” he replied, raising an eyebrow while tapping his feather and parchment. In an attempt to appear vague and unmemorable, she may have succeeded in drawing unwanted attention. Her head spun with thoughts of weapons, exotic foods, anything the man could scribble down so he could send them on their way. She cursed herself for not preparing even the simplest of stories before they got this far. Her being a tarrin, which was pretty rare in these parts, was not helping to deflect the man’s growing suspicion either.
“Hey, what’s the matter with you?” asked one of the other guards, pushing off the wall to go get a better look. He stepped right towards Jarlen, who immediately shied away, turning his back to the guard. Everything was falling apart. This was the last thing they needed. They were going to fail their mission before even stepping inside the city. If they had just chosen a better disguise for Jarlen, a better story, a better... “Hey, I’m talking to you!” The guard grabbed Jarlen by the shoulder and spun him around.
/> Oh no! Assirra thought, her eyes darting left and right while trying to decide on the best escape route. If she could make a break for it, there was little need to worry about Jarlen. This handful of guards would have little chance of holding him. But still, her ignorant failure was unforgivable. The folks behind them were backing away from the growing tension. They wanted no part of whatever was going on here.
With one already trying to grab his arm, a second guard grabbed Jarlen from the other side. With an angry tug, the second guard yanked back the hood of this stranger refusing to speak or cooperate. With one look at Jarlen’s face, he jumped back with a shriek of horror. What he saw appeared inhuman at first glance. Lips black, skin far too pale and sickly, its eyes closed as its face trembled. Teeth bared behind curled-back lips, Jarlen growled and moaned with long strips of saliva hanging from the corners of his mouth. He clawed at his own face with a savage urgency, then reached out blindly as he stumbled about. Avoiding his touch, the guards leaped back, one even drawing his sword.
“He’s sick,” Assirra blurted, taking the cue to go along with his quick thinking. “He’s diseased. We have traveled many miles seeking the aid of Shadowfen’s legendary healers. We fear they may be his only hope.” Jarlen continued to moan and growl, constantly touching his face before reaching out to touch one of them. He kept his eyes closed, mostly just so they wouldn’t see their color. “I’m sorry, but sometimes he is hard to control. It’s the fever, you know. As of now we are unsure if the sickness is contagious.” He stumbled towards another one, fingers glistening with saliva. “If you would just let us pass...”
