by Alicia Rades
“Maybe Derek could work some of his detective magic,” Emma suggested.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I tried finding him online, but Alan Anderson is a common name.”
“I guess I could try,” Derek offered.
“So, Emma,” I started, trying to get back into casual conversation so they wouldn’t worry about me. “Will you be up on stage today?”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know if I’m an official band member yet, and I haven’t practiced with them enough.”
“You’d love it, though,” I told her.
“Maybe we could start our own band,” Derek suggested with a laugh. The sad thing was that he sounded half-serious, and my only guess was that he didn’t want to share Emma with a group of four other guys.
It was sunny with a light breeze when we reached the park. The last of the snow was gone, replaced with bits of spring greenery. I stepped out of the car and tugged slightly at the bottom of my hoodie as I looked around. There was a playground on one end of the park and a walking trail that went across a river and through the trees on the other side. I scanned the area for Robin but didn’t see him anywhere.
“Where do you suppose they are?” Derek asked.
“Over there.” Emma pointed. I followed her gaze and saw Asher’s brother, Troy, under one of the pavilions. As we neared the shelter, I started to make out people I recognized, like Faith, Andrew, and Skip.
“Crystal,” Robin greeted, embracing me and giving me a peck on the lips. Then he turned to Derek. “We’re still getting some of the equipment out of the van. We could use another man if you’re up for moving stuff.”
Derek just shrugged and joined Robin to help. There weren’t a lot of people there yet since we were technically early for Troy’s birthday party, so Emma and I decided to take a stroll on part of the trail.
We talked as we walked, but the conversation remained casual. Eventually, we could hear Echo Score’s beat coming from the pavilion the same time we met a fork in the path.
“It looks like if we go that way,” Emma pointed to the left path, “it will take us back to the pavilion.”
“Okay,” I agreed, following her lead.
Just as we cleared the trees and spotted the pavilion again, I noticed a familiar figure making her way toward the music.
Sage.
“I’ll catch up with you later, Emma.”
She nodded and followed my gaze to Sage. “Are you going to tell her?”
I twisted my lips up in thought. “I don’t know yet.”
“Do you want someone there with you in case you do? I could, like, back you up.”
I shook my head. “It’s okay. Really. I don’t even think I’ll tell her, and no offense, but I think I have a better chance of learning more about her if I’m alone with her.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” Emma gave me a cheerful wave as she broke away from me to go find Derek.
“Sage,” I called as I caught up with her.
She smiled back at me. “I was looking for you. I don’t really know anyone else here except Robin, but he’s singing up there.”
“It’s kind of a relief hearing them out of the basement isn’t it?” I joked. “It’s not as deafening.”
Sage chuckled. “So, uh, should we go meet some of Troy’s friends, or will we just be those girls who sit in the corner?”
I let out a light laugh. “I’m okay with sitting in the corner, although that cake looks pretty tasty.”
“Well, I won’t say no to free food.”
Sage and I grabbed some food and found our way next to Emma and Derek on one of the picnic tables. We all talked, laughed, and listed to the music for a while. When I stood to throw away my paper plate, I noticed that a small group of people had gathered on the side of the pavilion to listen.
“You know what we should do, Crystal?” Emma asked, grabbing my arm excitedly. She didn’t wait for an answer. “We should dance to the music. It’d be good publicity for the band.” She raised her eyebrows, pleading for me to join her.
“Seriously, Emma?”
“I know this line dance that would actually work really well with this song.”
“Aren’t line dances for country music?” I asked.
Emma shook her head. “Not all of them. Come on. It will be fun.”
“Sounds fun,” Faith cut in as she neared the trash can with her empty plate.
“What?” I asked.
“I’ll help you, Emma,” Faith said.
Emma jumped up and down excitedly. “Okay. I’ll show you how to do it.” She positioned herself near the front of the pavilion away from the picnic tables. “Hold on. Let me get the beat.” She bobbed her head a couple of times before starting a grape vine.
After a few moments, Faith jumped in. “Oh, I know this one. You’re right. It does work well with this song.”
Dancing honestly did look like fun.
“I know this one, too,” Sage said to me. “These guys taught it to me last summer at band camp.”
I watched Emma and Faith hopelessly. “Well, I don’t, so you’ll have to teach me.”
By now, another girl who I didn’t recognize, but who seemed to know Faith, had joined in.
Sage slowly showed me how the dance went. After a few demonstrations, I told her to do it to the beat and I’d catch up. I didn’t do so great as I watched Sage’s feet move quickly, but I eventually started to get the hang of it.
When the song ended, we were all giggling while the onlookers actually gave us a round of applause.
“What now?” Sage asked when we sat back down at our picnic table. She tugged at her long sleeves and balled them into fists like she always did. I figured it was something she did in uncomfortable situations, and I was willing to bail her out of this one.
“Emma and I went for a walk earlier,” I offered. “It was really pretty back in the trees. Want to go for a walk?”
“Sure,” she agreed.
Once we neared the trees, Sage spoke again. “I actually walk through this park a lot, so I know how pretty it can get back here. But like I said, I haven’t lived in the city long, so I haven’t really seen it in full bloom yet.”
“Why did you move to the city?” I asked. Even though I knew the answer, I figured a simple question like this would help her open up to me more.
She glanced at me for a moment and then locked her eyes back on the path. “I don’t tell a lot of people this, but I feel like I can trust you. I can, can’t I?”
“You can,” I assured her.
“Okay, well . . .” She paused like she wasn’t sure she wanted to tell me yet.
I looked at her for a moment and noticed her eyes turning red like she was holding back tears. Her voice cracked slightly when she spoke. “I moved here to live with my aunt and uncle.”
“What about your other family?” I prodded. Was I doing this right, or was I overstepping?
Sage shook her head. “My family isn’t around.” She paused briefly. “Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone. My grandparents are all dead, and it just wouldn’t work out to live with other relatives.”
Her uncle, I thought. I only knew a small piece of that story, but I couldn’t help but wonder what the rest of the pieces would tell me about her.
“You’re not completely alone, though,” I pointed out. “Your aunt and uncle must be pretty nice to take you in. And you have friends.”
Sage gave an uncomfortable laugh. “They’ve been fine, but I don’t think they understand what I’m going through.” She didn’t care to explain what she meant, but I already knew she was referring to her family’s death.
She continued. “Brian—my uncle—just tells me to suck it up all the time. They don’t have any kids yet—my mom was a lot older than her sister—so I don’t think he really knows what it’s like to be a dad yet. It’s okay living with them, but I’m really glad Robin has been inviting me to these things. It’s really sweet of you guys to include me.”
/> A silence stretched between us because I didn’t know what to say to that. You’re welcome?
I was just about to answer when Sage tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her ear and spoke. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. Anything.”
She tugged at her sleeves again. “Robin. Do you think he asks me to come to these things because he feels sorry for me?”
“No,” I answered honestly.
“I guess I can’t figure it out. He’s known me all year and hardly said anything, and now he’s constantly inviting me to these things. I mean, he practically begged me to take off work today to come. I just can’t tell if he honestly thinks of me as a friend or not.”
I bit my cheek nervously and thought about telling her the truth. Just then, we reached the fork in the path.
Sage pointed to the right this time. “If we go this way, there’s a really pretty bridge. I could show you if you want.”
“Okay. I haven’t gone this way before.”
My heart beat fast in my chest, telling me this was the moment. I knew I needed to tell her, but all the nerves twisting inside my belly made me want to chicken out.
“Actually . . .” I took a deep breath to help work up the courage to say something. “About Robin. He invited you because I asked him to.”
Sage stared at me in surprise, but we didn’t break our pace. “What? You didn’t even know me. We met that one time.”
“I know, but . . . I guess you just seemed like someone I could get along with.”
I expected Sage to respond to that, but instead she said, “We’re almost there.”
The trees thinned slightly as we reached the bridge, which hovered over a small river with a steep bank. The greenery came to life around it with little pops of yellow and red along the water. I figured this river was a branch of the stream I spotted closer to the pavilion.
“You’re right. This is really pretty.”
“Oh, this isn’t what I wanted to show you.” She crossed the bridge and began making her way down the bank.
“Where are you going?” I looked toward the water nervously, afraid I’d slip and fall if I tried to make my way down there.
“It’s okay. You won’t fall,” Sage assured me as she disappeared under the bridge.
I followed behind her. When I broke through the weeds and made it under the bridge, I found myself standing on a sort of sand bar that created a flat, dry platform.
Sage untied her shoes and dug her feet into the sand at the same time she plopped down onto it. “I come down here a lot to think. Something about it makes me feel safe, like no one could find me down here. As far as I can tell, I’m the only one who ever comes here. There’s some graffiti and stuff,” she pointed up to the bridge, “but I’ve never run into anyone down here.”
I took a seat beside her. “It is kind of peaceful, like a little hiding space. Well, a spacious hiding place.”
“Yeah,” Sage agreed. “But just so you know, if you tell anyone, I’m going to have to kill you.” She faked a serious face, but she couldn’t hide her smile.
“Cross my heart and hope to die.” My heart sank at that thought. I should definitely not be making death jokes. The idea of it only brought a lump to my throat as I again tried to work up the courage to say something to her.
“You know what’s funny?” Sage started before I could say anything. She leaned back on her hands and crossed her ankles to stretch out.
All I could do was pick at the bits of grass growing up through the sand. I didn’t meet her eyes. “What’s that?”
“I just told you one of my biggest secrets. Well, two actually. There’s this place,” she gestured around, “and then the fact that I live with my aunt and uncle.”
I nodded for her to continue.
“Yet when I told you I was living with my aunt and uncle, you didn’t ask why. It’s all part of a bigger secret.”
I froze for a moment. I knew how her parents died. Did that make me look suspicious? “That’s private, isn’t it?”
“I really would have thought the first time I told someone my own age that, they’d want to know why.”
“Well . . .” I could hardly get the words out. My throat felt like it was closing up, and my brain was racing with questions about whether I should tell her the truth or not. My mother’s voice echoed in my mind. Once I’m in the situation, I’ll know what to do, she had said. I wanted to tell Sage. I swallowed and held my breath for a moment. It was now or never. “I actually do know,” I finally admitted.
Sage’s expression transformed into one of confusion. “How could you know?”
I continued picking apart the blade of grass in my hands, but it disappeared too soon. When that was gone, I pulled a small red blossom from the edge of the weeds and began plucking at its pedals. My voice wavered nervously as I spoke. “I wanted to add you on Facebook, but when I couldn’t find you there, I turned to Google. I found the article about the accident.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but I didn’t see a point in telling her my friends were involved, too.
“Oh,” she said in understanding. “I didn’t think they put my name in the article.”
“They didn’t, but some people from your hometown put it in the comment section.”
“Oh. I guess I didn’t really intend for anyone around here to find out.”
“Why not?”
Sage shrugged. “I guess I don’t want people feeling sorry for me. They’ve done that for years, and I just thought I’d kind of get a new start with all of that when I moved here. After all, it’s hours away from where I grew up, so it was kind of a relief that no one knew who I was or what happened to me. I like my aunt and uncle on one level because they kind of make me feel safe, and I need that while I’m finishing up high school. But I’m only with them until I graduate next month—I’m not 18 yet—and then I can go anywhere I want.” She stared into the distance. “There are so many possibilities. That’s why I work at Special Day Bridal. I’m saving up so I can get far away from here.”
“What’s wrong with Minnesota?” I asked.
Her eyes focused, and then she looked at me, but she didn’t answer. Instead, she began picking apart her own blade of grass. After a long silence, she spoke again. “It was my fault.”
“What?”
“The accident. My family wouldn’t have died if it wasn’t because of me.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Sage. The weather—”
“No. It was. You have to remember all that flooding we had last summer. Maybe you didn’t have it around here. Anyway, I was at band camp, and my parents almost weren’t going to come. But they couldn’t reschedule the final performance, so I begged my family to come. I could have sworn I saw them in the audience, so I played my best for them, only afterward, I found out they never made it . . .”
Another silence settled under the bridge until I finally spoke. “If you think about it, they could have been there.”
“What do you mean?”
I shrugged in an attempt to force nonchalance. “Like, in spirit, I mean.”
Sage let out a breath of air that sounded a lot like a laugh to me. “You think that moments after their death, my family would have nothing better to do than to watch me play music? I’m sure if they were out there somewhere, they wouldn’t be worrying about me.”
Here’s my chance, I thought. My pulse quickened as if in warning, but in the moment, I felt like something needed to be said. “But they are worried about you.”
Sage went silent for a beat, and then she looked at me sideways. “You say that like you’re sure of it.”
My hands shook slightly, and the red blossom fell out of them. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to compose myself. “That’s because I am.” I forced down the lump rising in my throat. This. Is. It. “The first day I met you, I also met your sister.”
There. I said it. Would she believe me? Would it save her? The following split second felt more like minutes. For a mome
nt, I wasn’t sure if admitting this was a victory or a mistake. I held my breath until Sage spoke.
“What are you talking about?”
“Melissa was there with me in the dressing room at Special Day Bridal,” I confessed. “She told me that I needed to help you.” I swallowed again, but the task was becoming more difficult as Sage stared at me in skepticism and my confidence in the situation plummeted. I locked my eyes on a rock near my toes.
“You mean to tell me . . .” Sage started slowly.
I wanted to take what I’d just said back because I could tell it was freaking Sage out, but the implication of my words was already out there.
“That I’m psychic? Yeah,” I finished for her. “I know you probably don’t believe me, but I can see ghosts and predict things about the future. I can even find things that people have lost or hidden, and sometimes when I touch people’s skin, I can feel what they’re feeling. You? You’re scared of something.” I finally lifted my eyes to meet her gaze, although I was terrified of her reaction.
The moments it took Sage to respond seemed to stretch into eternity. Please believe me. Please believe me, I chanted in my head. The seconds ticked by, taunting me and leaving me far too much time to wonder if this was the right choice or not. At first, I was sure it was bad, but then a glimmer of hope washed over me when she met my eyes.
“Oh, my god. You’re crazy,” she finally said.
My heart sank as I witnessed my worst fear come true.
“You actually believe that?” Sage asked, pushing herself to her feet. “I—I can’t believe I brought you down here.” She paused for a second, just long enough for tears to sting at my eyes. “I have to go.”
“Sage, wait,” I said, grabbing for her wrist to stop her. In that moment, fear consumed me. Fear. Sage was afraid of something, and this time, I knew what it was. Me. She was afraid of me.
“Please,” Sage said, pulling away from me. The look in her eyes begged me to let her go, so I did.
15
I tried to hold back the tears, but the force at which they hit felt like a dam had broken inside of me. Sage’s words cut into me like a knife, making me feel rejected.
