by Alicia Rades
“Just keep practicing,” Diane encouraged, “and things will get easier.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know you guys are right, but with everything the universe has thrown at me in the last few months, with Kelli, Hope, and Sage, it would just make more sense if it’d show me more at one time.”
“Maybe it’s trying,” my mom pointed out. “You just have to make sure you’re listening.” There it was again. That accusation, like I didn’t care enough about my abilities. Her voice was soft and kind, but her words cut into me like a razor blade.
I didn’t say another thing. We finished the centerpieces, and then I shut myself in my room. I couldn’t believe my mom didn’t think I cared about my abilities. Was she serious? I gritted my teeth in frustration.
Setting out to prove her wrong, I spread my yoga mat out at the foot of my bed. Hours passed as I let go of expectation and connected with the other side. I knew I wanted to see something, but I gave myself permission to not care if a vision came or not. Even after darkness enveloped my room and I finally opened my eyes, I still hadn’t seen anything, but the fact that I was doing something to improve my abilities by getting in tune with them left me with a sense of comfort as I crawled into bed.
***
On Monday, Derek, Emma, and I chatted quietly in geometry as Mr. Bailey left us to our own devices.
“So I did some research,” Derek said.
“About your parents?” Emma asked excitedly. “Do you know how they died yet?”
Derek shook his head and kept his voice low. “No, I’m talking about Sage.”
I leaned in closer to the center of our little triangle in intrigue.
“You guys were talking about her uncle before, Alan Anderson. I spent pretty much all day yesterday looking for him online. I tried out different spellings of the name, narrowed the geographical area, and all that.”
“And?” I prodded.
“I honestly didn’t come up with much. I found some public records, but that’s basically things we already know, like that he’s a fugitive. Other than that, I found that he used to work construction, and the best I can tell, he’s never been married.” Derek pulled a sheet of paper from between the pages of his notebook. “This was the only picture I could find of him online, but it has to be pretty old.”
Alan didn’t look all that scary, with soft brown eyes and a sweet demeanor. Except I knew what he had done, and that frightened me. I handed the photo back to Derek. “Okay, so we don’t know anything more about him really, but do you guys think he’s important in some way? I mean, do you think I should waste any time caring about him? He’s probably long gone.”
Emma shook her head lightly like she wasn’t sure. “I don’t know . . . I think it has to mean something. I mean, at least it explains why Sage is so reserved and kind of shy.”
Derek twisted his mouth in thought but didn’t say anything.
I recalled the way my mom said that sometimes the universe is trying to tell me something but I just don’t listen. What if this was one of those times? “Actually, Derek. Can I keep that photo?”
“Sure,” he said, handing it over.
I folded it up and slipped it into my backpack after class.
***
That afternoon, I picked Hope up from school and walked her home like normal. Today, she wanted to play Go Fish.
“Crystal,” she said in a scolding tone after she dealt. “You’re distracted. Is it your friend again?”
I finally met her gaze and realized I hadn’t even picked up my cards yet. I didn’t even know what I was thinking about, but she was right. I was distracted. “It’s—yeah. It is my friend. It’s—” I couldn’t decide if I should tell Hope or not. I mean, she knew about me and everything, but she was still so young. “I’m kind of on a time limit to figure something out, and I’m running out of time. Not to mention that my friend won’t talk to me anymore.”
“You could always, like, peer into your crystal ball to see what to do,” Hope suggested jokingly. That immediately brought up an idea I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of before.
As soon as I entered my house, I rushed to my room. I had intended to use my crystal ball a week ago, but it had gotten buried under my pile of clothes in my messy room. I threw shirts out of the way until my hands clamped around a rock-hard object. My heart beat madly in excitement as I set the ball back on its stand. I wanted to get started right away, but I knew nothing would come of it. I needed to calm down first. I took a deep breath but was still twitching in anticipation. I needed a quick break before I tackled this. Emma would be here soon, and we’d “get in the zone,” so I figured I could try the crystal ball after Emma left. I needed the privacy.
I made my way to the kitchen to find that Teddy was almost done preparing food. I took a seat on one of the stools along the counter. My mom wasn’t anywhere in sight, so I figured she was still at the shop. Since she owned it, it was always somewhat unpredictable when she’d be home.
“Teddy?”
He looked at me expectantly. “Yeah? Is something wrong, Crystal?”
What would give him that idea? As soon as I asked myself the question, I realized I was biting the corner of my lip and clutching the owl pendant around my neck. I relaxed.
“I guess I was just kind of wondering if you knew anything else. You know, about Sage.”
Teddy stirred the soup he was making. “I wish I could say I did, but you already know everything I know. As far as Sage’s uncle, the police have been looking for him for nearly five years, and nothing’s come of it. If it’s not in the records, I don’t know anything.”
“What about . . .” I trailed off.
“What about what?” he asked curiously.
“I mean, you don’t have a feeling about any of this or anything?”
“You mean, like, a supernatural feeling?”
I nodded.
He gave a slight laugh. “Crystal, I don’t know how much my ‘feelings’ would help in a situation like this. I’ve always been intuitive, but nothing like you and your mother.”
I nodded in understanding. “You don’t think Sage’s uncle has anything to do with my warning, do you?” I didn’t even know if I thought that, but it was information connected to Sage nonetheless.
“Do you want my professional opinion?” Teddy didn’t wait for an answer. “I really don’t think Sage is in any danger from him right now. A guy like that wouldn’t come out of hiding after so many years for risk of being caught, unless he felt guilty about what he’d done. But in that case, he wouldn’t hurt Sage. The truth is, he’s probably changed his name and face and is long gone.”
I thought about this for a moment and knew Teddy was probably right. “I guess that makes a lot of sense. If you come up with anything else, you’ll tell me right away, right?”
“You bet,” he said before he turned back to the soup.
A few minutes later, Emma arrived. I ate my soup and then joined her in my bedroom. My thoughts were on my crystal ball, but I knew I had to get through the relaxation part of everything before that would even work.
Today, it was the same thing as normal, except Emma stayed a while longer so we could finish up our geometry homework together. When she left, I felt ready to connect with my crystal ball.
I situated myself at my desk and took several long, deep breaths then hovered my hands over my crystal ball.
I couldn’t tell how much time passed as I sat there focusing on my breathing.
In.
Out.
No expectations.
In.
Out.
No expectations.
I repeated this mantra in my head. My shoulders relaxed, and my eyelids fell into a comfortable, closed position.
In.
Out.
No expectations.
Soon, the mantra lost all meaning, and my mind cleared completely. A feeling of tranquility overcame me so much that I felt I wasn’t even conscious, like I was peace
fully dreaming. At some point, though, a voice in the back of my head told me to open my eyes. When I did, my crystal ball was glowing. A wave of beautiful colors emanated from the ball, dancing in a serene motion that pulled me in. I leaned toward it, magnetized.
My nose hovered inches above the ball as an image began to take shape. At first, it was all just a cloudy mess, but then the cloud transformed into flames. Each flame rippled in the image, like fingers trying to claw their way out of the glass. As soon as I saw them, the flames took the shape of solid fingers. The bright orange glow darkened to a deep red. Crimson liquid pooled in the hand and ran off it in drips.
No, I thought, horrified. The moment the terror consumed me and an intense fear rippled throughout my body, the swirling colors in the crystal ball disappeared. It returned to normal, like it was just an ordinary decoration.
I quickly pushed myself away from my desk to put distance between myself and the ball, nearly toppling over in the process. I buried my face in my hands, and my body heaved with dry sobs.
No, no, no, I thought.
The reality of the situation hit me hard and stayed there, like a weight was pulling me down. My breath ceased to the point where I had to remind myself I needed air. My breathing wavered as I swallowed the lump in my throat and faced the dire truth of the situation.
Unless I did something to save her, Sage was going to die a gruesome death.
17
Each sunrise over the next few days felt like a countdown in a ticking time bomb. It was less than three weeks until the wedding, and a sickening feeling consumed me as each preparation we made for it felt synonymous to a step closer to Sage’s death. The question of how she was going to die still aggravated me.
Most of my time was spent trying to come up with a way I could save Sage when she wouldn’t hear what I had to say. The least I could do was try to get her to come around, so that Tuesday morning, I tried calling her in hopes of getting her to come back to the band practice that night. She didn’t answer, so I called Robin.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Robin. I was just curious how it went with Sage yesterday at school. Did you talk to her?”
“I tried, but she didn’t say much,” he admitted.
I sighed, and then I jumped into the explanation about what I saw in my crystal ball.
“That’s really freaky. I will definitely try to talk her into coming tonight, but I mean, I can’t make any promises.”
“I know.”
“But you know what?” Robin said. “Even if she doesn’t want to talk to you, you’re still going to save her. You know that, right?”
I didn’t answer because in all honesty, I didn’t know that. Was it going to be a car crash? Was her uncle coming for her? Was it something else entirely?
I still didn’t know her all that well. If I could warn her . . . But how could I warn her when I didn’t know what to warn her about? She wouldn’t listen to me anyhow, would she?
“I hope you’re right,” I finally said. “I—” I stopped, realizing for a moment that I almost told him I loved him. It was the truth, wasn’t it? But I couldn’t bring myself to say it first. “I’ll see you tonight.”
***
“She’ll be okay,” Robin promised after his band practice. “She has you on her side.”
Sage hadn’t shown up for practice, and I was positive it was because she was scared of me.
“But how exactly do I help her? What, am I supposed to stalk her on my mom’s wedding day?”
Robin’s eyes shifted in thought.
“I can’t miss my mom’s wedding. Am I supposed to tell her to cancel? It’s not like I can get Sage to come to the wedding, not when she won’t even come to your band practice anymore.”
Robin rubbed my arms for comfort. “You don’t know she didn’t come because of you.”
“Did she tell you why she wouldn’t come?”
“She just said she was busy.”
“That’s textbook translation for, ‘Your girlfriend is a freak, and I don’t want to be around her.’”
“Hey,” Robin said softly, kissing me lightly on the lips. “She might still come around.”
I wanted to believe Robin’s words, but when Thursday came and Sage still wasn’t there, I knew he was completely wrong about that. Even so, I found myself half-believing his idea that I could still save Sage despite her need to avoid me. I wasn’t entirely convinced, but at least there was a glimmer of hope.
“What do you guys think I should do?” I asked Emma and Derek when we piled into the car Thursday night. My social studies homework was spread across my lap in the back seat, but I couldn’t pay attention to it while this question rattled around in my brain.
“About what?” Derek asked, twisting in his seat to look at me.
“Sage clearly doesn’t want to talk to me, but I still have to save her. I don’t know how she’s going to die—even with that freaky thing I saw in my crystal ball. So, how do I make sure she’s safe on my mom’s wedding day?”
“You could tell her not to leave the house,” Derek suggested.
I slammed my textbook closed in annoyance. “I just said she won’t talk to me, and even if she would, she wouldn’t believe something like that.”
Derek held his hands up in defense. “Hey, you asked for suggestions . . .”
I sighed deeply. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. That wasn’t a personal attack, Derek. It just seems like nothing is going to work.”
“I’d say you should invite her to the wedding,” Emma said, “so she would be safe, but like you said, she may not agree to it.”
A brief silence filled the car as we all worked to come up with a solution, but I couldn’t stand the silence.
“It’s not just that that’s annoying me. I mean, all of this . . . I still don’t know how she’s going to die. I mean, if I did, I could prevent her from, say, crossing the street, or getting into a car, or doing whatever freaky thing is supposedly going to kill her. But it’s not even just that, either.” I reached for my backpack and unzipped the front pocket. “I still can’t figure out what Sage’s uncle has to do with all of this.”
I unfolded the paper and studied the man’s face, using the headlights of the car behind us to illuminate his features. “And there’s so much left unanswered with him. Like, I get why he’s on the run, but what prompted it? And how far did he run? And is Sage in danger from him? And if she is, what do I do about it?”
Neither Emma nor Derek said anything. They both just shrugged their shoulders like they didn’t know what to say.
When the car went silent again, I rested my head against the window and stared at the photograph of Alan. His involvement was shrouded in so much mystery. The longer I looked at him, the drowsier I became, and at some point on our way back home, the exhaustion overtook me.
***
The day I told my mother was the most terrifying day of my life. I didn’t want to tell her because I knew he would kill me if I did.
“You won’t tell anyone, will you, Sage?” he had said the first time.
All I could do was look up at him in terror and shake my head in agreement.
“Good. Because you know what will happen if you do?”
The fright I felt for my uncle caused my throat to close up. I could hardly breathe, let alone speak. I shook my head.
“I’ll kill you.” He said it like it was a joke, but I was in no state of mind to take the words lightheartedly. “You understand, then, right?”
I nodded as bile rose to my throat. I forced it down, along with my disgust for my uncle, because that was the only way I figured I’d survive.
But even though I’d never said anything, my mom somehow knew. I lied to her at first, but at 12, I could read her expression well enough that I knew she’d caught on and wouldn’t accept my refusal.
My mother sat me down in her bedroom and spoke to me lightly. “Sage, I need you to tell me the truth. It’s really, really important. Is Uncle Alan
hurting you?”
Tears rose to my eyes. “No,” I said without meeting her gaze.
“Are you sure?” My mother’s eyes bore into mine in a way I’d never seen before.
I nodded.
“You’d tell me if he was, wouldn’t you?” she asked.
I thought about this for a moment. How long could I keep lying to her? It was only a matter of time before someone witnessed something. I blinked a few times, considering telling her the truth. If I did, my uncle had promised he’d kill me, but was that any worse than what he was already doing to me? Was it worth keeping up this lie just to save my own life? Wouldn’t it hurt less once all this was over? In that moment, I decided that I’d rather die than continue lying about it.
Slowly, like I was still thinking about the decision to give up the lie, I shook my head at my mother. She pressed her lips into a thin line, and her eyes grew red like she was going to cry.
That night, my mother told Melissa and me she was taking us to the movies. I wasn’t stupid. I knew it was just a way to get us out of the house. But we didn’t make it out the door before my uncle came home and I heard my father’s confrontation with him.
“What the hell were you thinking, Alan?” I heard him say. “They’re my daughters. You’re a sick bastard. And after everything we’ve done for you? We put a roof over your head! You’re no longer welcome in this house. Not now. Not ever!”
I heard the thud as my father’s fist connected with my uncle’s jaw. I exchanged a horrified glance with Melissa the same time my mother pulled us both into a hug. Tears ran down all of our cheeks.
Six more thuds reverberated through the walls before I heard the roar of my uncle’s pick-up truck spring to life.
My uncle never came back to our house, but every time I closed my eyes, he was there in my nightmares.
***
