"I bartended to put myself through college. Got a degree in accounting but hated my first job, so now I'm in real estate." She took a long sip. "It's so strange telling you all this. It's like we're strangers even though we're sisters."
"Tell me about it." I took another long sip. It tasted so good, but I didn't want to drink it too fast. "I…" To my horror, tears filled my eyes again.
"Hey." Marie reached across the counter and touched my hand. "I know this must have been so scary for you and you must've felt so alone, but I'm here now. We can help you regain your memories somehow. Did the doctors say you'll get them back eventually?"
Sniffling, I nodded and squeezed her hand. "They think I will, but no one knows for sure or when it will happen."
"Well, if you have any questions about anything, I'm more than willing to help fill in the gaps." Marie's smile slipped.
"What?"
"I have a question of my own." She stirred her straw too fast and some of her drink spilled onto the counter. With a quick flick of her wrist, she swiped a dishcloth over the mess to clean it.
"Go ahead," I said when she didn't immediately ask it. Her anxiety was making me anxious, and somehow, I realized I'd drunk half of my daiquiri already.
"How did you end up here? If you didn't remember everything… how did you find Shadow?" She was clearly trying to keep her voice neutral, but her nose was scrunched up.
"I didn't. He found me. He rescued me." The words came pouring out of me. "I was discharged from therapy and was walking around, trying to find somewhere to go for the night. It was cold and raining and…"
"You must have been terrified." Marie leaned on the counter, her chin resting in her hand, elbow on the bar.
"I thought I was, but that was nothing." I nodded. God, how awful it had been. It was really shitty that I had so few memories and so many of them were so terrible.
Her eyes darkened. "I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?"
"I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm here with you." I held up my glass in cheers, and drained the rest. I hadn't really been free to live my second life, as I was starting to think of it, for very long before it had turned completely upside down. A rollercoaster of events, horrible ones mixed in with a handful of oh-so-pleasing ones, and back to horrible again. At least now I had my sister back. That was good. Maybe my luck was changing, and I could finally start to get my life straightened out some.
"What happened?" she demanded. "You suck at telling stories, by the way."
Lost in my few memories, I absentmindedly reached for my drink only to realize it was empty.
Wordlessly, Marie exchanged mine with hers.
I took another swallow. "I had no idea where to go and was just about to find someone to ask for help when a van pulled up, and a guy jumped out and grabbed me. He was talking to me, but I didn't hear what he said. I was just so scared. I tried to fight him, but he was so strong and…" My voice trailed off and I rubbed a worn out spot on the bar with my finger.
"Oh my God, Allie! Sorry—Sky. What the hell is wrong with people? What are the chances something like that would happen to you right after you recovered from a car accident?" She slapped her hand onto the counter.
"I know. I wouldn't have any luck except for bad luck… well, unless you count Shadow coming. He rode up on his bike and beat up the guy and the driver and saved me. He might have saved my life." A rush of warmth filled me for the man. Regardless of what he had done today, he really had been my hero yesterday. If he hadn't stopped them, they might have raped me, killed me, or worse, both.
"Wow," Marie said, but her tone sounded a little flat.
I eyed her. Now that I knew a little bit more about myself, it was time to learn a little bit more about Shadow. "What do you know about him? About Shadow?"
Marie crossed her arms and backed away from the counter, scowling, her features twisting with… was that anger?
"A lot I take it. And not all good." A strange feeling settled in my chest. I had no idea where I stood with Shadow. Last night had been amazing, but mind-blowing sex couldn't—shouldn't—make murder acceptable. True, that guy had been a sick man, but we had no proof he had ever touched a child. Okay, so I did agree that the chances of him not being able to refrain forever, probably weren't very good, but could you really condemn someone for a crime they hadn't committed yet?
"Nothing good," Marie declared. She tapped her shoe against the tile floor, the sound was loud and frantic, kinda like my heartbeat.
"Now, who is the one sucking at telling stories?"
She blew out a breath. "You should leave. Immediately. Shadow's a bad man. I don't know if he's told you anything about your past—"
"I know we dated." I shrugged one shoulder.
"Yes, dated." She stressed the past tense. "You left him. You broke up with him. And for good reason. Yeah, he's hot. Even I'll admit that, but the guy is bad news." Marie took a step closer to me and leaned over the counter. "Believe me," she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. "I'm your sister. I would never tell you to do this if I didn't think it was for the best. And it is. You should leave with me."
"I…" My head swam and I drank more just to calm my nerves. I could hardly think clearly. Yeah, the alcohol wasn't helping with that, but my life was falling apart and I had no idea how to try to fit the pieces back together.
"Shortly before you disappeared, you told me Shadow did something really bad." She stared at me hard, her gaze boring into mine, as if she was willing me to side with her.
"What was it?" Seeing her so frightened and angry, worried me. My stomach twisting into tight knots. At least I wasn't getting a headache. I tended to get them a lot whenever my mind worked overtime, like it was now.
"I don't know. You never told me." Her hands closed into fists that she pounded on the top of the bar. "You went missing shortly after telling me that…"
I gasped and covered my mouth. "You thought he was involved?" My voice slightly muffled by my hand.
She nodded. "What else was I supposed to think? I took some time off work to spend around here…" She held out her hands to encompass the clubhouse. "Got to know some of the guys, but soon it became obvious that none of them knew where you were either."
"It was an accident. A freak thing. I was walking on the side of the road and a car hit me. Shadow had nothing to do with it."
"Regardless…" Marie slammed her hands down again. "You shouldn't stay here. You left him. You told me yourself he's a bad guy, that he did something really bad. Sky, hon, I have never seen you like that before. You were so out of sorts. Trust me, he is not the guy for you."
I pushed the drink back to her since it seemed like she needed it more than I did.
She chugged it down, every last drop. "You ready to go?"
"Go?" As in leave right this second? Here was the only place I had felt marginally safe since striking out on my own.
"Yes. Haven't you been listening to me?" She marched around the bar and took my elbow.
"I…"
"What is it?" she demanded, staring me straight in the eyes. "He got to you, didn't he? Already. Just like that. Hooked his claws in and now you're running back to him." Frustration and anger written all over her face.
"I'm not running back to him," I protested. How could I be, when I didn't even remember being with him before?
"Allie…"
"I'm not Allie, my name is Sky." My jaw clenched. "I need a moment."
She backed up a step, shoe still tapping, arms crossed. I knew she was pissed at me, and maybe, rightfully so.
But I couldn't help being reluctant to go. Shadow was messed up, there was no denying that, but after what he had been through, that wasn't a surprise. He was a broken man, and even though I had hurt him by leaving him—regardless of the reason—he had still saved me. He rescued me.
Just another mission for him, a voice in the back of my mind said.
Maybe. Or maybe he still felt something for me. The sex had been incredible,
definitely not what you would call lovemaking, but that connection to another person I had so desperately wanted—I had definitely found it in his bed last night.
I felt for Shadow. Despite what he had done, he had rescued me. Maybe I could try and help save him.
Bracing myself, I lifted my gaze to my sister's. She was still scowling, and I winced as I said, "I can't. I can't leave."
"Why not?" she snapped.
Somehow, I got the feeling this wasn't the first time we'd fought over Shadow. An educated guess or, maybe a ghost of a memory?
"Shadow needs me," I said.
"He needs… Allie, Sky, whatever your name is, you need him like you need a hole in the head. Please don't do this." She gripped my shoulders, tears in her eyes.
I glanced away, my mind made up.
"This isn't smart," she warned.
"Please don't hate me," I said, my voice small.
"Oh, Sky…" The tenderness in her words had my heart breaking. "Of course I don't hate you. As your sister, I'm supposed to tell you when you're doing something stupid. This sure qualifies!"
It was probably foolish and unfair for me to feel this way, but anger started to burn in my chest. "You don't understand," I said, trying to keep my voice even and to hold back my irritation.
"You're damn right I don't!"
"I hardly know you," I burst out, "and you expect me to just listen to everything you say and accept it as the truth. I don't know what happened before. I don't know what will happen. I don't know you. I want to, but it's going to take time."
"So why not come back with me and—"
"Here I feel safe."
"Because he saved you?" Marie rolled her eyes. "Or because he comforted you in his bed last night? Don't deny it. I can see it all over your face."
I felt my face grow hot, it had to be bright red. "I… Yes, we may have… but that doesn't mean…"
"His dick isn't reason enough to stay. I don't care how good a lay he is."
My eyebrows raised questioningly.
"No, I haven't slept with him." She rolled her eyes. "You used to go on and on about how amazing your sex life was, and, trust me, it was more than I wanted to hear. But even if he was a Wonder Cock—"
"Wonder Cock?" I practically spat in shock. But, then it struck me as so funny, too funny, I almost burst out laughing. Only because Marie looked ready to kill someone—horrible phrase given earlier, but it was the truth—kept me from laughing out loud.
"You can't think with your vagina about this. It's not… You… Shadow is bad. He can't be saved."
"How can you be sure?" I asked quietly. Waking up from the coma had given me a second chance at life. Didn't Shadow deserve to have a second chance himself? Obviously his damage was deep-rooted, but what if he hadn't started on his missions until after I had broken up with him? There was so much about him I didn't know yet. Hell, I was still trying to learn who I was, who I am, who I might be.
Yes, I had broken up with him, and it probably had been for a good reason. Shadow had his demons. I couldn't deny that. I wasn't just staying because of the sex. When he had told me about his past, when he had opened up… There's more to him than he lets on. He's a big badass biker dude, but he was more than that. Everyone has their issues and problems, and without help, how would we overcome them. I might not remember my life before, but I knew that much.
"Marie," I started, desperately wanting her to understand.
"Don't. I see I'm not getting through to you." She grabbed a napkin and rustled a pen from her purse. "Here's my number and email. I'm staying at the Marriot hotel nearby. I took the week off. Call me."
If you change your mind about that asshole. The sentiment was left unsaid, but Marie's face basically said it all.
"Marie, wait…"
She gave me a hug that was just as warm and tight and heartfelt as her previous ones, but then she pivoted on her heels and walked away. Just like that, she left.
To say I felt all alone would be an understatement. What if I was wrong about Shadow? What if I couldn't help him, if he was beyond saving? Was a guy, who was clearly screwed up, worth losing my sister over? My own flesh and blood, one whom I needed to help unlock the secrets of my past?
God, I needed another drink.
Chapter Eight
Shadow
The bar was empty. Considering the time of day, that wasn't too surprising. I was sitting in the back corner next to the pinball machines, nursing a pitcher of beer when Sky and her damned sister walked in. Marie. She had hated me from the moment she first met me. Even then, when she didn't even know me, she had tried to convince her sister I wasn't good enough for her.
And maybe I wasn't. Maybe, I wasn't good for anyone. My boys loved me and I loved them. They were my family. But outside of them… maybe the world didn't have a place for me in it.
Marie was helping herself behind the counter, fixing them both drinks. Honestly, considering how messed up I was, I couldn't blame her for hating me so much. She was actually right, I wasn’t good enough for Sky, not that I would ever tell her.
The two of them were talking, laughing, and having fun. My grip on my beer tightened and I chugged the rest of it. Sky sounded happy. Could I make her happy? Did I want to? I had been so determined to use her for sex—which had been a huge failure. She had wanted me just as much as I had wanted her. Angry with myself, I had been so determined to push her away, I actually took her out on a mission with me. Not just on a stakeout, I had ended up killing the guy. She had witnessed me murder someone. And then I just abandoned her there.
Yes, she still managed to make her way back here. She chose to return to the clubhouse, despite everything she had seen, that I put her through.
This Sky, she wasn't Allie any more, that was for sure. She was a new woman, one I was still just as attracted to, as I’d been to Allie. One, I wanted to get to know. One, I found myself not able to hate.
I downed my beer faster than I should have. It would be nice if I could hear them, but the walls in the room had been constructed to absorb sound, so people could talk somewhat privately, even if the bar was crowded to capacity.
Still, I watched their body language. Marie was talking earnestly, her hands communicating as much as her lips, and I knew, I just knew, she was telling Sky what a monster I was. After what Sky had witnessed earlier today, she had to believe it. Marie would convince her to leave and that would be the end of it, the end of us. It shouldn't bother me so much. It was for the best. I had only saved her because, while I might have hated her, I couldn’t let her suffer at the hands of those thugs. I wasn't that much of an ass. But, I wasn't a hero either. I didn't deserve her, or anyone else.
Sometimes killing a pedophile made me feel better, made me feel as if the world was a marginally better place—that I had helped to change the world. This time, I felt dirty. Like I had been the one in the wrong. I have never felt that way before, and even chugging my beer—my fourth—didn't help to wash away the bad taste in my mouth. Would it ever be possible for me to be happy? For me to actually have a real purpose in life?
They were still talking. Fuck, just watching Sky's backside was enough to make my cock spring to life. She just had a way about her. She'd fling her hair back over her shoulder, or threw her head back and laughed, every little movement she did seemed sexually charged. It was probably my imagination, but still. My cock was throbbing, and I just wanted to bury myself in her wet pussy again and again. I needed to hear her scream out my name. She was my undoing. Sky could be my ruin if I wasn't careful.
I had been right to try and push her away. Where I had failed, Marie might succeed.
That would be for the best… right? We were a powder keg, just waiting to go off when we were together. We'd blow up if we stayed together. No way could we work for the long haul. Better to forget about her and move on.
I shifted in my seat to try to get comfortable, but the friction of my jeans only made my dick harder. My hand slipped down the table
to adjust myself. Fuck. My balls were ready to explode. It was so damn uncomfortable.
Marie was hugging Sky now. Maybe they were on their way out now. Just how did Sky end up back here? She couldn't have walked that far, that quickly. A ride. Marie never would've brought her here, so someone else must have. For a second, I felt the hot burn of jealousy in my stomach. Some more beer helped to wash it away. I should be more focused on how Marie learned Sky was here, was Sky starting to get her memory back. It was only right for Sky to get back in touch with her sister, even if that sister did hate me and would try to take Sky away from me.
But then Marie walked away.
Only Marie.
Sky remained there, sitting on a barstool. After a moment, she got up, walked around to the bar, and started to rummage through the bottles. When she bent forward, her shirt fell away from her chest, and I could see her creamy breasts encased in her lacy black bra…
Shadow (A Bad Boy Romance): The Hoods MC Page 6
