Alice nodded; lowering her head so he wouldn’t see the sudden rush of tears, but he guessed, for she felt his hand again, firm on her shoulder. There was a cold, empty space between them where Julian should have been, sitting there with a glass of champagne in his hand while he and Frank mercilessly teased each other.
‘I’m so glad we found you, Frank,’ Laura broke in. ‘I wish Dad were here but you are the next best thing.’
Frank flushed, his eyes suspiciously bright at her praise, but Laura didn’t seem to notice. ‘You’ll save me from having my other godfather giving me away, half-drunk and making pathetic, sexist remarks. So nothing like that from you, I hope, Frank. Promise no jokes about seeing me naked in the bath as a baby, or boyfriends I might have had. Nothing like that, promise?’
‘I promise. I don’t know any stories about you like that anyway.’ He smiled mischievously at Alice. ‘I know quite a few about your mother.’
‘No, you don’t,’ Alice protested, racking her brains as to anything she might have done in her youth that would shock her daughters.
‘I bet you’ve got a whole lot of secrets none of us know about, Mum,’ Laura said guardedly throwing a nervous look at Frank as if afraid he was going to reveal them.
Frank’s eyes were warm, like a shaft of sun on Alice’s face. ‘No, nothing really, just endearing. You were so young, much younger than Julian, and indeed me, but you had such a zest for life, a capacity for enjoyment, it’s that I remember most about you.’ His gaze rested on her and she remembered the good times they’d had, the sort of carefreeness when nothing went wrong and life held such promise.
All the time she’d known Frank she’d been in love with Julian and it had splashed her life with glorious colour, which had never really faded until Julian had died. How sad, she thought watching Laura that her marriage to Douglas did not seem to hold the same magic.
But good though her marriage was she wondered now why Frank, Julian’s great friend and Laura’s godfather hadn’t come to the house to see them on his visits to London, to see the children or the three of them go out to dinner together? Why Julian had said so little about him. She hadn’t even known that Frank had a flat here She was about to ask him when Laura said, ‘I don’t see why we have to have wedding speeches at all. They’re always cringingly embarrassing.’
‘I know what you mean,’ Frank laughed. ‘I’ll keep it short. I better show you the draft first for your approval.’
‘Just don’t go on and on about me, will you?’
‘Unfortunately I haven’t been able to see you for much of your life, though your father always gave me news about you… about you both, he was very proud of you.’ Frank smiled at Evie, who blushed and squirmed in her chair. Alice felt a pang of sympathy for her, guessing that she knew her father would not be proud of the predicament she’d got herself into now.
A little while later, Evie got up, saying she must finish some work before they went out to dinner, and she went inside. No one had mentioned her pregnancy, but when she had gone, Frank said, ‘So this baby, when’s it due?’
‘Before the wedding, sort of end of October, I think,’ Laura said, her mouth tight. ‘Mum says to give her another month to get over it, so that’s why we’re having it early December. Douglas has just to confirm the date though I think it’s the 4th. We couldn’t get a date we wanted in late November. You will be free to come, won’t you?’
Frank nodded, ‘Of course, I’ll keep the whole week free for you.’ He smiled, turned to Alice. ‘These things happen, but at least she’s keeping the baby. I suppose the boyfriend is too young and too broke to support her.’
Before Alice could answer, Laura chipped in again, ‘Not at all, he’s much older, and married with lots of children, legitimate and illegitimate. She was a fool to get caught.’ She finished and Alice saw that even now with her wedding day looming Laura still harboured a kind of envy for Evie’s involvement with Nick. If only this wedding was not taking place at all, Alice thought, wondering which was worse, to marry a man Laura didn’t love enough, or yearning after such a roué as Nick. She wished she’d postpone her wedding for a while until she was sure she really loved Douglas, or found someone else unencumbered by an ex wife and children.
The doorbell rang long and shrill through the house and into the garden. Laura jumped up. ‘It’s probably Douglas, he said he might come round after he’d finished at his mother’s… if he could escape.’
When she was out of earshot, Alice said quietly to Frank, ‘Nick, the father of Evie’s baby, lives in Suffolk, he’s married to a saintly wife whom he professes to love in his own selfish way, but he’s like a magnet to some women, can’t keep his trousers on, and as you see, Evie was seduced by him, willingly I’m afraid, she’s thinks she’s in love with him.’
‘We can’t always help who we fall in love with,’ Frank said quietly, ‘but now it’s happened, even if you wish it hadn’t she’ll need your support for a while.’
‘I know and I’ll give it, she might stay here until the baby’s born, she’s still got quite a lot of her illustrations to finish. It might be easier to do them here,’ Alice said, wishing she felt more positive about the situation.
‘Support her through the birth and just after the baby is born but you mustn’t give up your life for this, Alice. Evie is old enough to cope with this herself, I’m sure you’ll help, love the child, but not, I hope, give up everything for her.’
‘That’s what Cecily said,’ Alice told him.
He smiled, ‘Ah Cecily, I was so pleased to hear from her, is she well? I must go and visit her, I haven’t seen her for ages.’
‘Yes, she’s fine, but before Laura comes back,’ she dropped her voice still further so that Frank had to lean close to hear her. ‘I’m worried that Laura is… or thinks she is, in love with Nick too. He came round to the cottage quite a lot when we were there after Julian died. She’s like Julian, takes things more seriously and I think she misread Nick’s flirting as something more. We left to come back to London and he moved onto Evie.’
Frank looked grave, ‘This Nick sounds a menace.’
‘He is, but while I’m sure Evie, who’s always had lots of men buzzing round her, will soon find someone else, if anyone is interested in taking on another man’s child, I’m afraid that Laura is only marrying Douglas for the wrong reasons; a sort of one up on her sister or even hoping to make Frank jealous, which he won’t be. I don’t know, but I’m worried about it.’
Frank frowned, ‘What’s he like, this Douglas, do you like him?’
‘He’s nice and dependable but not very exciting… though that might be a mercy as we have enough excitement with Nick.’ She smiled ruefully. ‘I hope he has the best intentions towards her, though he needs someone to look after his children. He’s divorced and their mother’s a high-flyer and works in Hong Kong. I’m so afraid that taking all that on will be too much for her.’
Frank studied his glass, which still held a sliver of champagne. He said quietly, ‘If she cares for Douglas, puts her mind to it and accepts she can never have Nick, who sounds a dreadful heart-breaker that no sensible woman would want anyway, and if Douglas is good to her, she has a chance. I expect she wants her own children and they will help her heart to heal.’
There was something about the way he said this that made Alice wonder if he had had his heart broken. He’d said he’d been through tough times, but she’d let it go. She was just about to gently probe him about it when Petra burst into the garden closely followed by Laura.
‘Frank!’ She approached him, her arms outstretched, her face wreathed in smiles. ‘I just popped round on the off chance that you were here and here you are. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see you again.’
Frank got up and Alice saw the question in his eyes as though trying to place her.
‘Petra,’ Alice said to help him, ‘how did you know he was here already? He’s only just arrived in the country.’ She hoped she sounded calm
but inside she was fuming. Trust Petra to barge in and, of course, be beautifully yet casually dressed with her hair and nails just done, before they had time to get to know Frank again.
‘You haven’t changed at all, still as glamorous as ever,’ Frank smiled at her, allowing himself to be grabbed and kissed.
‘I won’t stay long, I’m sure you’ve got so much to talk about,’ Petra said, settling herself down on the chair Evie had left and accepting a glass of champagne.
‘But Alice,’ she turned to her, ‘whatever’s happened to you? You look as if you’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards.’ She regarded her with horror.
‘She has, I found her up a tree,’ Frank said smoothly, ‘and I’m so relieved to find that she has not changed at all.’
18
Frank took them to Mosimann’s for dinner and it was obvious from the moment they entered that Frank was well known here. The staff greeted him with a pleasure that Alice thought was more heartfelt than normal courtesy. She wondered why they seemed to know him so well when he’d said he was hardly ever in London. This was a sort of exclusive dining club, so why would someone join it if they weren’t going to use it fairly often? Surely this confirmed that Frank must come to London frequently and, if so, why had he never got in touch with her?
Laura and Evie gazed round the elegant restaurant with unconcealed delight and a little awe.
‘This is very special,’ Laura turned to Frank.
‘A special place for special people,’ Frank smiled, sitting down next to Alice, with Laura on his other side. ‘Have you been here before?’ he asked her.
‘No,’ Alice said, ‘though Julian did talk of joining it once, before his illness took over.’ In fact, she remembered now, Julian had wondered whether Mosimann’s might be somewhere he could to take clients.
Had he dined here, with Frank? She wondered as the waiter fussed around them, whipping open their napkins for them and lighting the candles on the table. But if he had, surely he’d have told her? He often teased her by describing the mouth-watering meals he ate while on business, and he had eaten here, she knew that, but had Frank been there too?
Since Frank’s arrival this afternoon she’d felt unsettled, not unsettled in a sexual way, like Petra obviously did, flirting away ten to the dozen, but as if this man from the past was carrying secrets, a part of Julian’s life she didn’t know about, and now he was gone she’d never know.
As she’d left him in the garden and gone upstairs to shower and change into something more suitable for a night out than grubby jeans and a faded shirt, she found herself thinking back to the conversation she’d had with Cecily about Henry, Frank’s older brother and Julian’s best friend, who’d died in an accident. A person she had never heard about until that recent conversation with Cecily. He was a close friend of her husband’s whom he’d never mentioned, at least by name. Obviously tonight was not the time to question Frank about it, but as he’d said he’d probably stay in London until after the wedding she hoped she’d get enough time with him – in between all the parties Petra and her girl friends were planning – to discover more about it.
The dinner was beautiful, each plate a work of art and delicious to eat. Alice felt herself relaxing, pushing away her fears, many probably imagined, as she was stressed with everything that was going on at the moment. Frank was in good form, telling them about his life living in France and travelling the world with his job.
‘So your wife and children, they must come to the wedding,’ Laura said eagerly. ‘Perhaps they could be pages and bridesmaids?’
‘They’re far too big for that,’ he smiled.
Alice fortified with good food and wine turned to him. ‘So how long have you been married? I seem to know so little about your life, Julian never told me much, just that you met up from time to time, and of course your wife and children must come to the wedding, I’d love to meet them.’
‘Thank you but…’ he glanced at Evie and Laura who were now whispering together about some of the other diners and their surroundings. He lowered his voice, leant closer to her, ‘We’re not together, we haven’t divorced, but she has someone else and my children are at university, my son, Benedict, in America and Aline, my daughter, is studying fine arts in Italy.’
‘I’m sorry, so your wife is French… I mean, your children have French names.’ She felt out of her depth but shamefully a little relieved he was not committed to a wife, but then she reminded herself, the French were said to have different ideas about love, and perhaps he had a mistress or two as well.
‘Yes she is. Simone is a lovely woman but it wasn’t really right from the start, but as neither of us want to marry again we didn’t get divorced. She comes from a very rich family, which certainly doesn’t want to start carving up bits of the family wealth to hand out to failed marriage partners. We could have come to some agreement, I’m sure, I’m not a gold digger and would rather earn my own money than live off someone else’s, but we get on well enough if we have to meet up for family things. We love our children and both of us are always there for them, so I don’t think they have suffered too much.’
‘But, when asked, you still say you’re married.’ He’d said it earlier this afternoon.
He smiled, ‘Because it’s true and…’ he laughed, ‘it’s good cover if I get swamped by overexcited women.’
He surely meant Petra and she laughed too, feeling close to him for a moment. ‘All my girl friends who used to know you when we first married are after you,’ she joked. ‘You’ll be entertained for ages while you’re here. I just hope you’ll keep the wedding date free.’
‘Oh no, I don’t want lots of parties,’ he said in mock horror, ‘but thanks for warning me. I’ll make sure I’ve plenty of other commitments, but certainly…’ his hand dropped on hers, a fleeting touch that sent a frisson of desire through her, catching her by surprise. She was just as bad as Petra and Margot and the rest of them. ‘You and the girls will come first, if you need anything, you must tell me, and while we’re about it,’ he paused as if to collect his thoughts, ‘I’d like to pay for the wedding.’
‘But I… I can’t possibly let you,’ she stuttered. His offer was quite unexpected. ‘They haven’t decided on how it’s to be yet, and anyway, Julian has left some money and…’
‘Of course he has, but as he’s not here and I’m Laura’s godfather, it’s my present to her. I’m sure Douglas has his own home already and doesn’t need any more toasters or saucepans.’
‘But this would be far more than saucepans,’ she said weakly. She supposed he could afford it or he wouldn’t have said it, and this wedding was not going to be one of those over-choreographed affairs that took a lifetime to pay off, though he didn’t know that unless Laura had already told him.
‘Julian was my dearest friend,’ he said gently, ‘and I owe him more that I can ever repay and it would make me so happy to give Laura the wedding of her dreams.’
‘You’re so kind,’ Alice was near tears. The girls, sensing something was up, stopped their gossiping and turned to their mother, and she told them about Frank’s generous offer and, while Laura was thanking him profusely, she wondered what Frank meant about owing Julian so much. Was it just the pleasure of his friendship, the pain of his early death, or was there something more?
19
Seeing Alice again was more difficult than he’d imagined it would be. He’d assumed time and age would have diminished the strong feelings that he’d once carried for her especially when he heard she was going to be a grandmother, which he wrongly thought would have toned down her adventurous spirit. But the moment he’d seen her, stuck in that tree, the full force of his love and desire for her swirled through him as though it had been waiting like the dormant seeds in the desert that suddenly spring into flower when the rains come.
He hoped he’d been successful in hiding his feelings. She hadn’t expected him so soon in the day so she’d made no effort to smother herself in make-up as
Petra had done, pushing in like that, inviting him to parties, determined to take over, flirting with him outrageously. Her behaviour amused him, but it didn’t tempt him. Why did some women think all that war paint, and suggestive remarks and glances and fluttering hands that alighted on parts of him like tiresome butterflies, attracted him? Fine for a one-night stand, or perhaps a weekend of sexual desire, but for deep, long-lasting feeling there had to be something more, something you couldn’t define, and Alice, after all these years of marriage, raising children and now bereavement, still possessed it.
There was a fragility about her that he hadn’t remembered, perhaps caused by Julian’s death, and yet there was a strength to her that he admired as she struggled to cope with the new events that had struck her family. These feelings pulled him in, made him long to hold her, be close to her, but he must take care, keep his true feelings to himself, she was still in mourning for Julian and it would be crass of him to tell her that he’d always loved her and seeing her again confirmed it.
But there was more to it than curbing his desire, he wondered how much Julian had told her, if he’d told her anything. There was no doubt that Julian had loved her, and once Frank had been sure of that, he stayed away from her… it was as easy for him to live in France where he’d spent some of his childhood with his beloved grandmother as to be in London. It was up to Julian to tell her as much about the events in his life before he’d met her, as he wanted her to know.
It was hardly surprising that Alice and her daughters kept asking him – Julian’s great friend – so many questions concerning Julian. They needed to talk about him, bring him back among them through their shared memories.
Mothers and Daughters Page 11
