‘We,’ Elspeth started grandly, ‘have written up some guidelines as to how best to bring them up. If we all set the same standards, then we can’t go wrong, can we?’
‘I’m sure Alice…’ Douglas began as a waiter hovered for orders and Dave immediately asked for wine, ‘Your house wine… a bottle of each,’ which sent the waiter scurrying away to obey him.
‘It’s not your fault that you have had so little time with the children, and Laura, nice though she is …’ Alice felt Elspeth’s statement was pushed through gritted teeth, and glancing at Laura saw she felt the same, ‘has very little experience with children and you know what they say about stepmothers, it is a very difficult relationship.’
‘Only very misguided people say spiteful things,’ Alice broke in, wanting to stand up for her daughter.
The wine waiter returned and went through the motions of opening the bottle and pouring the wine into Dave’s glass to taste.
‘It’s a very difficult time for them,’ Elspeth went on and Alice saw the guilt on Miriam’s face, it was, after all, her daughter who, for whatever reason, had upped and left her young children.
Frank saved the day. ‘I think the children are very fortunate to have so many decent, loving people to care for them,’ he said. ‘I very much enjoyed meeting Johnny the other day, he’s a delightful child and we had a very good time together.’
‘He’s been overexcited after that outing for days,’ Elspeth said acidly, eyeing Frank as if he were a danger too. ‘He never stops going on about this paragliding,’ she said the word as if it described something contaminating, like porn or lessons in knife crime.
Thankfully Dave muscled in, ‘We all have the children’s best interests at heart, Elspeth, now let’s order, I’m starving, wasn’t allowed to eat in the hospital, nearly died of starvation.’ He laughed.
The dinner limped on and at last it was over. Douglas drove his mother home, no doubt to nag him all the way, and Frank drove Laura and Alice.
‘Isn’t she a witch,’ Laura said as they drove down the King’s Road.
Frank said, ‘She is rather, but I expect it’s because she’s really worried about the children coping with yet another change in their lives. Once she gets to know you and sees how good you are with them, she’ll be easier to get on with.’
Don’t bank on it, Alice thought, but she said nothing, wishing with all her strength that the wedding would not take place.
27
‘I hear Frank’s gone off again, he can’t seem to stay in one place for a moment,’ Margot grumbled, pushing a bowl of salad in Alice’s direction, her eyes like searchlights on Alice’s face as if to winkle out the slightest hint of her keeping his whereabouts a secret.
‘He’s only gone for a couple of days, he leads a very busy life.’ Alice hoped she sounded disinterested, curbing her irritation of the fuss generated by her women friends by Frank’s arrival. ‘Mmm lovely spinach and pomegranate,’ she said, helping herself to the pretty pink and green salad, hoping to change the subject. ‘I feel I need lots of iron after all our hard work.’
They’d spent the morning going through the accounts of their decorating business, having had a small resurrection with Cecily’s curtains and a few other orders. They kept their accounts at Margot’s house as Glen, Margot’s husband, had a sort of office here and let them use his accountant from time to time.
Margot ignored the virtues of spinach and pressed on. ‘I thought he was staying in London until after the wedding.’
‘He’s got a case, or an article or something, he’s got to do, he’ll be back.’ Alice did not say that she missed him, that he probably wanted to spend time with whatever woman he was seeing, for surely there was one, if not more than one. She didn’t want to talk about Frank and yet she did, talking of him kept him close, but that was foolish of her when he had another life in France without her. Margot knew her too well and the last thing she wanted was for her to imagine that she was attracted to him.
Margot could be secretive herself, namely about Glen’s job in a prestigious financial company, which seemed to pay him staggering amounts. She often had a new piece of jewellery or a handbag, which she brushed off with some vague remark about Glen getting some bonus or tax rebate. ‘Some tax rebate,’ people muttered darkly when they heard about it. She’d perfected ways to steer questions away from these extravagances, but she was like a terrier if she wanted to dig out gossip about other people.
‘Do you know when Frank will be back? Petra and I wanted to give parties for him; he’s so difficult to pin down. There’s lots of people who remember him from when we were all young and he lived here and would love to see more of him,’ Margot went on.
‘I don’t think he likes parties much,’ Alice said warily before going on. ‘I know this sounds odd, but seeing Frank somehow makes Julian’s loss more final as I’ve only ever seen them together and so now he’s here without him…’
‘I didn’t think of that, sorry, love.’ Margot patted her hand. ‘Of course it must be tough for you having him taking Julian’s place at Laura’s wedding.
Why had she said that about Frank and Julian? She hadn’t meant to, even though it was true. Margot was smiling at her kindly and before Alice could stop herself she went on talking, as if by speaking the words she could make sense of them. ‘I don’t remember… well apart from a memorable ride in his sports car – that I was ever really alone with Frank he was always there in those days, just one of the crowd.’ She attempted a laugh, dreading that Margot might realize that she had this odd yearning to be close to him, but that, she hastily told herself, was only because she missed Julian.
‘Frank always cared for you, surely you knew that?’ Margot said bossily.
‘Oh, Margot, whatever do you mean?’ She laughed.
‘I just remember how he used to look at you, Petra noticed it too, but you were crazy about Julian so you probably didn’t see it and maybe it was nothing, just a crush he had on you when we were all young. But I just wonder… now he’s back and Julian is gone.’ Margot scrutinized her carefully as if she was a casting director searching for a leading lady.
Margot’s words unsettled Alice. She’d sensed Frank found her attractive, but he hadn’t made any kind of pass, not even a jokey one in fact there were times when she felt he was distancing himself from her. He was a kind man an honourable man, Julian’s great friend and Laura’s godfather, determined to do his bit for her wedding, and he’d stuck up for her in front of Elspeth, but that was all. When the wedding was over he would be gone.
When they’d finished lunch and returned to their work, Alice said, ‘Did you know Frank had a nephew living in London, or rather staying in his flat while he studied here?’ She wanted to know if Margot – often the queen of gossip – knew anything about him.
Margot frowned, ‘I didn’t, how old is he?’
‘Thirtyish. It’s just odd Frank never mentioned it, or asked us to invite him to a meal or something. If Julian knew I’m sure he’d have asked him round, see he was all right. I don’t think the boy’s parents were around, not in London anyway. He’s a bit older than the girls, but all the same I’d have told Frank if one of them had gone to study in Paris.’
Margot laughed. ‘You sure it was his nephew? Perhaps that’s just a euphemism for Frank’s love child. You know what the French are like, or supposed to be anyway. Cherchez la femme, I’d say.’
‘Nonsense, Margot,’ Alice laughed, ‘anyway Frank is not French.’
‘His grandmother was,’ Margot said smugly, ‘and blood will out.’ She opened one of their work folders and examined it.
‘Do you think we ought to cut these into tiny pieces to make sure no one finds credit card or bank details?’ Margot pulled out a stack of old invoices, ‘Our shredder is broken or we could have used that.’
‘Who’s going to look? Some of these are over ten years old. Have you seen odd people creeping round your dustbins?’ Alice joked, ‘Or do you fear the t
ax man?’
Her remark, not to be taken seriously, made Margot laugh rather frantically, ‘Oh… no, no… well I hope not.’ She looked rather shifty and then, taking herself in hand, said more firmly, ‘No, I just thought someone might see a credit card number or something and hack someone’s account. You hear such a lot about hacking and things these days.’ She picked up some scissors and began to cut the addresses and bank details into tiny slivers before pushing them into a plastic bag. ‘Better safe than sorry,’ she said with an awkward smile.
Margot’s expression made Alice feel uncomfortable. It was none of her business what people did about paying tax and such and she knew they’d always given the correct information from their decorating business to an accountant and paid their dues, but that was just their own business, she didn’t know what Glen did… or Margot with her own money for that matter, it wasn’t anything to do with her.
‘How well we did in those early days, we made quite a bit of money, didn’t we?’ She flicked through some of the invoices, ‘Wish we could now.’
‘Emma Bede made such a pretty Moses basket for her granddaughter, and I wonder if there could be a market in that,’ Margot said. ‘I’m sure our ladies in Suffolk could make some, they might be glad to do something different, glad of the work anyway.’
‘That sounds a great idea, and we could line some baskets with little pockets to put the power, creams and such in; they’d make really special presents.’ Alice was enthused by the idea. Would Evie be pleased with such a gift or would she dump all her baby stuff in with her painting things, possibly smearing the poor baby with paint instead of cream?
For the rest of the afternoon they looked up prices for plain baskets to cover with pretty material on the Internet and Alice drew some designs, including some for bags for all of a baby’s kit and changing mats for travelling and cot buffers. They decided to ask Edith and Amy to make up a few samples and see how they went.
‘I wish I had a daughter to make them for,’ Margot, who had two strapping sons, said. ‘Let’s hope I have daughters-in-law I like.’
Alice, who had rather hoped one or both of her daughters, might marry Margot’s sons – boys she’d known since birth – said nothing. Apart from becoming a granny she was also about to become a mother-in-law to a ‘nice but dull’ man, unless Laura changed her mind, but she feared that now she was on the roller coaster of wedding plans she wouldn’t be able to jump off in time.
It was early evening when Alice left Margot. She reluctantly agreed to go the long way home and drop an invitation through Frank’s letter box to a party she and Glen were giving in a fortnight’s time.
‘I don’t know exactly where he lives,’ Alice said. ‘I only have his telephone number.’
‘Queen’s Gate, you can take the 14 bus from South Ken home, it’s just on the corner of Harrington Road, white door, his name’s on the letter box.’
‘You seem to know an awful lot about it, what’s the flat like?’ Alice teased her.
Margot blushed, ‘I’ve no idea. I just know his address.’
Alice laughed, ‘OK, I’ll drop it off.’ At least he was away and wouldn’t see her hanging about as if she were a groupie.
Alice left Margot, both of them now fired up by their new nursery designs, and having ordered baskets and material online, Margot volunteered to drive them to Suffolk for Amy and Edith to make up.
It had stopped raining but it was almost as dark as a winter’s evening. Alice turned out of Margot’s street and into Queen’s Gate and walked down towards Frank’s flat. She crossed one half of the road, stopped in the middle waiting for a couple of taxis to pass before she crossed over the other half. A man came out of the door of Frank’s block of flats, hovered on the pavement in front of her and then crossed the road towards her. Her heart stopped; it was Julian. She saw his profile as he turned to check for traffic and the way he stood and his long, purposeful stride as he crossed the road.
‘Julian,’ she called, her arm reaching as if to catch him, but he didn’t hear and crossed the road behind her, walking quickly away.
She was mad of course it wasn’t Julian. This man was far younger, and Julian was dead. It was a trick of the light or rather the shadows that was all.
She pushed Frank’s invitation through his mailbox beside the front door and turned away towards South Kensington and the bus. She was tired, she had too much to think and worry about with her daughters’ new life choices, and yet for a moment she’d been so certain it was Julian, if only it had been and she could see him one more time.
28
The telephone rang, waking Alice abruptly, drilling through her subconscious. She’d barely slept, tormented by her anxieties, and had surely just dropped off when she was so violently woken. Mechanically, she stretched for the phone on her bedside table. ‘Hello.’
‘Alice, or should I say Granny, glammy granny as Evie calls you,’ a teasing male voice addressed her. ‘The baby’s come, born early.’
‘What?’ She sat up as if electrified. ‘Nick, is that you, what’s happened, is Evie all right?’ Fear clutched at her, she struggled to be calm.
‘Everything is fine. It’s a boy. It happened quite fast for a first child. She went into labour about midnight and he was born about half an hour ago.’
‘Is he premature?’ Fearfully, she envisaged a tiny scrap of humanity attached to wires and monitors, fighting for life.
‘Not really, she probably got her dates wrong. He’s fine.’ His voice was defensive as if his babies were of a superior kind, who never got born too early or were any less than perfect. ‘Evie so hopes you’ll come.’ He sounded as if he wanted her to come to take charge, let him off the hook. Though what was his role going to be in all this anyway? Had he been there at the birth? Taken Evie to hospital?
‘So were you there?’ she asked.
‘No, that’s women’s work. She got a friend to take her in, you know Suzie who lives in the thatched cottage at the start of the lane, and it was very quick and then she texted me, told me to ring you.’
‘So you haven’t seen him, gone to see how they both are?’ She was shocked, yet what did she expect from such a selfish man?
‘No… I will later.’ His voice was impatient now, almost dismissive, and her heart went out to Evie and this poor little boy.
‘So you’ll come… today, dear grandmamma? You must surely be the most beautiful granny there is.’ His voice became syrupy sweet with flattery and she despised herself for the surge of warmth it provoked in her. Poor, sweet Evie, no wonder, sad and lost without her beloved father, she’d been easy meat to this devilishly attractive man.
She said briskly, ‘I’ll come today. Has Evie got her mobile, can I ring her, do they allow mobiles on the ward?’ She longed to hear her daughter’s voice, find out how she was after the ordeal of childbirth, which was bad enough to go through with a loving husband by one’s side, a doting father keen to welcome his child into his life. Now he was here she would love him, she couldn’t bear not to love him even though she wasn’t ready for him, wasn’t ready to be a grandmother.
‘Her mobile’s run out, but she said she’d call you on Suzie’s mobile when she’s back in the ward. So she’ll ring soon, I expect. Goodbye then, Alice.’ And he rang off, his voice subdued now as if he had suddenly realized the magnitude of what he had done and was… hopefully, ashamed of himself.
She collapsed back in bed, the silent receiver still in her hand. ‘Julian you should be here, we’re grandparents.’ Her face was wet with sudden tears. Here was one of the most sacred, precious moments of her life and she was facing it on her own.
She got up, and not bearing to be alone with her news, she rang Laura from her mobile.
‘It’s just past six, Mum, are you all right?’ Laura sounded scared.
‘Yes, Nick rang, Evie’s baby is born, just now, it’s a boy,’ she blurted out, still not quite believing it.
‘Is it… he… all right, isn’t he too
early?’ Laura said irritably as if he were a guest who’d arrived before the party was ready.
‘He’s fine; she may have got her dates wrong. I’m waiting for her to ring me; I’ll go there today. People don’t seem to stay in hospital long these days after childbirth if all is well.’
‘So Nick was with her?’
‘No, but he rang me.’
‘Do you want me to come with you?’ Laura said, surprising her.
‘But you have your work,’ she said, wishing Laura could come, not wanting to do this alone.
‘It’s Friday and I’m sure they’ll understand. I’ll tell Douglas and I’ll come back on Sunday. You’re a granny,’ she said suddenly, ‘and I’m an aunt, scary.’
‘It takes some getting used to,’ Alice said, ‘but if you could come, darling – but don’t get sacked or anything – it would be lovely.’
‘I’ll call Douglas, then I’ll come round and we can leave.’ Laura rang off.
The phone rang again and it was Evie. ‘Oh Mum… it was agony and there wasn’t time for the epidural and I’d been promised it. I’ll never go through that again, it was terrible.’ Evie sounded near tears.
‘But the baby is safely here, I’m longing to see him… you too, of course, darling,’ Alice said, the pain of childbirth now the least of her worries. ‘And… how is he, what does he weigh?’ She worried he might be too small if he was early.
‘Just under seven pounds, He’s fine, but it was a shock him coming like that. I’m not ready for him, I thought I had another month, everyone says first babies are late… and I won’t meet my deadline for my illustrations now,’ she wailed, perhaps realising for the first time how much her life would change.
‘Well he’s here now and Laura and I will come down today and get things ready for you. You have got most things, haven’t you, darling?’ She wondered if she should rush out and buy stuff, but what?
‘Some things: a Moses basket, nappies, I don’t know. Suzie says she’ll lend me things. Nick might come.’ Her voice was flat and Alice suffered for her. Perhaps she and the baby should leave Suffolk so she wouldn’t have to bump into Nick all the time, expect things – love, care, interest – from him that she wouldn’t get, but now was not the time to discuss it and, after assuring her that she and Laura would be there early afternoon, she rang off, dressed and packed a bag.
Mothers and Daughters Page 16
