He laughed. “I know, Jane—you’re a former fact-checker, so the truth is very important to you,” he said. “I, however, am a writer, and I take occasional liberties with it.” He stepped closer to me, and then he slipped an arm around my waist. “Nice dress, by the way,” he said.
“Do you also take occasional liberties with your editors?” I asked, trying to be playful.
He shook his head. “Never,” he said.
I believed him—but it didn’t matter either way. This had been my idea.
It wasn’t about loneliness, or even simple lust (though that obviously played a part). I just wanted to know if I could do something like this without feeling weird or cheap.
I still wasn’t sure.
The hotel room was a gleaming, cream-colored box of understated luxury. A bottle of Chardonnay waited in a silver wine bucket, and there were gourmet chocolates arranged on the pillows. Through the giant windows, Manhattan glittered, a spectacle of steel and glass.
I stood in the center of the beautiful room, holding my purse against my body like a kind of shield. I was charged and excited and—all of a sudden—a little bit scared.
This was new territory for me. If I didn’t turn tail and run right now, I was about to do something I’d barely even had the guts to imagine.
Michael, his green eyes both gentle and hungry, took the purse from my hands and placed it on a chair. Straightening up again, he brushed my hair away from my neck, and then he kissed me, gently, right above my collarbone. A shiver ran down my spine.
“Is this okay?” he asked softly.
I remembered the way he’d kissed my fingers at the café. I remembered how I’d said to him, Let’s get out of here.
I wanted this.
“Yes,” I breathed. “It’s more than okay.”
His lips moved up my neck, his tongue touching my skin ever so lightly. He traced a finger along my jawline and then slowly drew it down again, stopping at the low neckline of the Dress.
I waited, trembling, for him to slip his hand inside the silk.
But he didn’t. He paused, barely breathing. And then he reached around my back and found the slender zipper between my shoulder blades. He gave it a sharp tug, and the black silk slid down my body in a whisper. I stood there—exposed, breathless, thrilled—and then Michael crushed his lips to mine.
We kissed deeply. Hungrily. I ran my palms up his strong arms, his broad shoulders. He reached under me and lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He tasted like wine.
I whispered my command: “Take me to bed.” Then I added, “Please.”
“So polite,” he murmured into my hair. “Anything you say, Jane.”
He carried me to the giant bed and laid me down on it. His fingers found my nipples through the lace of my bra, and then my bra, too, seemed to slip off my body, and his mouth was where his fingers had been.
I gasped.
Yes, oh yes. I’m really doing this.
His tongue teased me, pulled at me. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once. “Should I—” he began.
I said, “Don’t talk, just do.” I did not add Please this time.
I wriggled out of my panties as he undressed, and then he was naked before me, golden in the noon light, looking like some kind of Greek demigod descended from Mount Olympus.
I stretched up my arms and Michael fell into them. He kissed me again as I arched to meet him. When he thrust himself inside me, I cried out, rocking against his hips, kissing his shoulder, his neck, his chin. I pulled him into me with all my strength as the heat inside me rose in waves. When I cried out in release, my nails dug into Michael’s shoulders. A moment later he cried out too, and then he collapsed on top of me, panting.
I couldn’t believe it. I’d really done it.
Spent, we both slept for a little while. When I awoke, Michael was standing at the end of the bed, his shirt half buttoned, his golden chest still visible. A smile broke over his gorgeous face.
“Jane Avery, that was an incredible lunch,” Michael Bishop said. “Could I interest you in dinner?”
I smiled back at him from the tangle of ivory sheets. As perfect as he was, as this had been, today was a one-time deal. I wasn’t ready to get involved again. “Actually,” I said, “thank you, but I have other plans.”
He looked surprised. A guy like Michael wasn’t used to being turned down. “Okay,” he said after a moment. “I get it.”
I doubted that he did.
It’s not you, I thought, it’s me.
After he kissed me good-bye—sweetly, longingly—I turned on the water in the deep porcelain tub. I’d paid seven hundred dollars for this room and I might as well enjoy it a little longer.
I sank into the bath, luxuriant with lavender-scented bubbles. It was crazy, what I’d done. But I’d loved it.
And I didn’t feel cheap. Au contraire: I felt rich.
Chapter 2
I swiped a free Perrier from the office fridge—one of the perks of working at Metropolitan—and hurried to my desk, only to find Brianne, my best friend and the magazine’s ad sales director, draped dramatically across its cluttered surface.
“You took the looooongest lunch,” she said accusingly. “We were supposed to get cappuccinos at Ground Central.”
“I’m sorry,” I said distractedly. I could see the message light on my phone blinking. “My meeting…um, my meeting didn’t exactly go as planned. I’m going to have to work late tonight.”
“Oh, merde.” She gave a long, theatrical sigh. “Pas encore.”
I couldn’t help smiling. Brianne was one-quarter French; the rest of her was full-blown New Jersey. On a good day, she was funny and loud, as effervescent as a glass of Champagne; on a bad day she was like Napoleon with lipstick and PMS.
“Can we do it tomorrow?” I asked.
Bri still looked sulky. “You realize, don’t you, that you stay late because you’re avoiding your complete lack of a social life?”
“I stay because I care about my job.” I tugged discreetly at my bra. Somehow I’d managed to put it on wrong.
“So do I,” Bri said, “but you don’t see me here at nine p.m. on a Friday.”
“You’re in a different department,” I said, unwilling to admit that she had a point.
She took one of my blue editing pencils and twisted her pretty auburn hair around it, making an artfully messy bun. “I was going to set you up on a date tonight, you know.”
“We’ve gone over this, Bri,” I said firmly. “I’m not interested.”
Bri lifted herself from my desk and stood before me with her hands on her hips. Five inches shorter than me, she had to crane her neck up. “I know how much you love your Netflix-and-Oreo nights, honey. But it’s time you got back into the game.”
I did love those nights, even though I’d be the first to admit that too many of them in a row got depressing. “I’m not ready to date, Bri. I like the sidelines.”
Bri held up a manicured finger. “First of all, you’ve been divorced for almost a year and a half.”
“Thanks for keeping track,” I said.
Bri held up another finger. “Second of all, this guy’s practically perfect.”
“Then you date him,” I suggested. “You’re single now too. Aren’t you? Or did you fall in love again last night?”
Bri giggled. She gave her heart away like it was candy on Halloween. “There’s the cutest guy in my spinning class,” she admitted. She drifted off into a dreamy reverie for a moment. Then she shook her head and snapped back to attention. “Hey. You’re changing the subject. We’re talking about you and your nonexistent sex life.”
A blush flared hot on my cheeks.
Bri immediately widened her eyes at me. Her mouth fell open, and then she nearly shouted, “Oh my God. You got laid last night!”
I looked wildly around. “Shhh!” I hissed. My boss’s assistant was five feet away at the Xerox machine. She didn’t seem to have heard Bri’s accusati
on, though. Turning back to my friend, I made an effort to keep a straight face. To look serious and professional. “I did not get laid last night,” I said.
I got laid an hour ago.
Bri’s merry brown eyes grew narrow. “The more I look at you, the more I think there’s something different about you today,” she said.
I shrugged. “Well, I’m wearing a new dress.” I gave a little twirl. “Isn’t it fantastic?”
Bri’s skeptical expression softened—but barely. “If you weren’t the most honest person I’ve ever met, I’d swear you were lying to me, Jane Avery.”
I smiled. “I’d never lie to you, hon,” I said.
But I might stretch the truth.
“Are you sure you won’t go out tonight?” she wheedled. “I want you to find a good man.”
I sucked in my breath. My mood suddenly shifted. “I thought I had,” I said.
Bri looked at me sympathetically. “I’m sorry you married a bastard, Janie. He fooled us all,” she said. “But one error shouldn’t ban you from the playing field.”
I rubbed the spot where the big diamond ring used to be. James had loved me, he really had—but he’d also loved his ex-girlfriend. And her sister.
“Enough with the sports metaphors, Bri,” I pleaded.
Bri mimed a baseball swing. “You gotta step up to the plate,” she said, smirking, just to annoy me.
“And you’ve gotta get back to your own desk,” I said, laughing. “I have work to do.”
Bri walked reluctantly to the door and then turned back around. “Don’t you want to know who your date was going to be?”
“Not really.” I picked up my phone and pressed the messages button.
“Michael Bishop,” she said as she walked away. “He is soooo handsome.”
The receiver fell to my desk with a clunk.
Step up to the plate, Bri? I thought. I did—and Michael Bishop was my home run.
Chapter 3
Walking into Al’s Diner at 90th and Columbus after work that evening, I inhaled the familiar smell of grease and burned coffee—and underneath that, the subtle whiff of good olive oil, salty feta, and ripe heirloom tomatoes. My mouth watered as I slid into my familiar booth. Al’s Diner looked like just another greasy spoon, but I knew its secret: kolokitho keftedes and dolmades—aka zucchini fritters and stuffed grape leaves—so delicious you’d swear you were on Santorini.
Al Dimitriou spotted me and lumbered out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his stained apron. “Janie, koreetsi mou,” he said. My girl. “It’s late! Either you already ate and you’re here for baklava…or you worked too long and you’re starving.”
“Door number two,” I said, smiling at him.
Al shook his head at me. “You work too hard, Jane-itsa,” he said. He turned and hollered, “Veta, Janie’s here!”
“I know, I know!” Veta, Al’s wife, came hurrying over with a basket of pita and a bowl of baba ghanoush. It took all my self-control to say hello and thank you before I started shoveling it into my mouth. Veta patted my head and gave me a quick maternal once-over. “You look very pretty tonight, Janie,” she said. “Although the table manners…” She nudged me affectionately.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Famished.”
Al looked at me more carefully. “You got a date after this?”
Why does everyone in New York City care about my dating life?
“No such plans,” I said, my mouth still full of warm pita and smoky eggplant.
Veta, who was as quick and petite as Al was big and slow, swatted him on his giant shoulder. “Just because she looks extra beautiful tonight doesn’t mean she’s going to see a man,” she scolded. “Don’t be so old-fashioned.”
Al shrugged good-naturedly. “I was just making conversation.”
“Just sticking your nose in a lady’s business,” Veta countered. She turned to me. “Don’t mind the big lug,” she said.
“I don’t mind him,” I said. “I love him.”
At that, Al got slightly red and excused himself, saying something about needing to check on some fava beans.
Veta sat down across from me. She grinned. “So—do you?”
“Do I what?” I asked. I was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than the rich, delicious meze. I found an olive and popped it into my mouth.
“Have a date, you goose.”
“No, Veta!” I exclaimed. “Why on earth—”
She ducked her head in embarrassment. “Sorry, sorry,” she said. “I guess I was hoping.”
“You don’t need to hope for me,” I said. “I’m happy.”
And I was very happy right now. My God, the baba ghanoush…
Veta gazed thoughtfully out the window, where a flock of pigeons feasted on a discarded loaf of Wonder Bread. Then she turned back to me and said, “So, my happy Janie, do you want the lamb or the octopus?”
I laughed at her matter-of-factness. “Chef’s choice,” I said.
She patted my hand. “We’ll take good care of you,” she said.
“You always do,” I said, because it was true.
It might have looked like I was sitting alone in a diner on a Friday night, but as far as I was concerned, I was having dinner with friends.
Chapter 4
By the time I said good-bye to Al and Veta, night had fallen. Metal grates covered the doors of the Laundromat, the shoe boutique, and the store that specialized in four-hundred-dollar throw pillows. But cars and cabs still swept by on Columbus Avenue. Couples on dates strolled along, the women tottering in high, uncomfortable heels.
One of the benefits of being 5′8″: you can just say no to stilettos.
As I stood on the corner, waiting to cross, I could see the light in my third-floor kitchen, burning small and yellow and alone.
Netflix and Oreos, here I come, I thought.
Just then, the wind caught the skirt of the Dress. The black silk seemed to swirl away from me, like there was a different direction it wanted to go in.
And why should I go home? I didn’t have a dog or cat—I didn’t even have a fish. The most I’d had was a cactus. (By the way, don’t believe the hype about cacti: you can kill them, and it’s not even hard.)
A little way down the block, the Teddy’s Piano Bar sign blinked invitingly. The tiny watering hole had been there since the 1920s, when it was a speakeasy full of smoke and music, fueled by bathtub gin.
I’d never gone inside. But tonight, I walked straight toward it.
The walls were covered in abstract murals painted by some famous, long-dead artist. At the piano, a silver-haired man with a truly enormous nose played Gershwin. Couples chatted at small, cozy tables, and candlelight flickered on the murals, turning them into swirls of color and line.
I ordered a French 75 and sank into a banquette.
“Summertime, and the livin’ is easy,” sang a black-haired beauty who’d joined the old man on the bench.
I smiled; I’d always loved that song. But I couldn’t carry a tune in a Kate Spade handbag, so I hummed along quietly.
At the table next to me, a man sat alone with an unopened book and a glass of amber liquid. He’d taken off his tie and tucked it into the breast pocket of his gray linen suit. His fingers tapped along to the music.
I noted the lack of a wedding ring.
He had a good profile—deep-set eyes and a strong chin. I watched him out of the corner of my eye.
Should I? I thought. I definitely shouldn’t.
But then I changed my mind.
I waited until the song had ended, and then I slid from the banquette into the chair next to him. “Is this seat taken?” I asked.
The man looked up, startled. His dark eyebrows lifted. He smiled at me—a slow, almost shy smile. “I guess it is now,” he said.
“I’m Jane,” I said. “Hi.”
“Hello, Jane, I’m Aiden,” he said. He nodded toward my glass. “I’d buy you a drink, but you seem to have one already.”
> I clinked my cocktail to his and took a sip of the bubbly liquid. “You can buy the next round.”
He laughed. “What if I bore you before that?”
I gave him my best mock-frown. “Don’t tell me you have self-esteem problems, Aiden,” I said. “You don’t look the type.”
He shrugged. “Let’s just say I wasn’t expecting a beautiful woman to sit down at my table tonight,” he said.
Please, I’m not beautiful—that’s what I almost said. But then I glanced down at my perfect, elegant Dress and felt a surge of confidence. What if, in calling me beautiful, Aiden was actually right? I smiled, sipped delicately at my drink, and made a new rule for myself: If life hands you a compliment, take it.
“This is a nice place,” I said, looking around the dim, inviting room. “Do you come here often?” Then I felt like kicking myself for delivering such a cliché of a line.
Aiden swirled his whiskey and the ice clicked in the glass. “You could call me a regular, I guess. The guy at the piano is my uncle.”
I looked at the homely silver-haired player again. “Hard to see the family resemblance,” I said skeptically.
Aiden said, “Really? I think we look exactly alike.”
“Aha! You do have a self-esteem problem,” I said.
He grinned. “You have an understanding-sarcasm problem,” he countered.
I laughed. I felt slightly tipsy, but it wasn’t from the drink—I’d barely touched it. It was from being out on a Friday night and flirting with a handsome stranger.
I’d already done one thing I never thought I’d do today. Why stop there?
“So what do you do, Jane?” Aiden asked.
I shook my head. “Let’s not talk about work.”
Aiden looked disappointed. “You mean I don’t get the chance to tell you about my fascinating work in maritime law?”
I leaned closer. “Do you prosecute pirates—with peg legs and hooks for hands?”
“If only,” he said ruefully.
“Then I’m not interested.” I sat back and crossed my arms. “You’ll have to come up with a better topic for discussion.”
Kill or Be Killed Page 25
