How long was he going to wait her out? He was dogged in his determination once he set his mind to something. Restless, she paced across the small, thankfully deserted room, a frown on her face as she checked her bag. Fastening her locker and pocketing the key, she placed her discarded scrubs in the container provided, as always approving of the hospital board’s policies regarding infection control and cleanliness. Thankfully Strathlochan had an excellent record in tackling and preventing superbugs, but no one could afford to be too careful or become complacent.
Impatient, Annie glanced at her watch. It was past time to leave. There had been no response to her earlier SOS text message and she was worried. What if it hadn’t got through? What if her plan failed before it even started? She really didn’t want another face-to-face with Nathan alone.
Setting her bag at her feet, she sat down on a wooden bench near the door, hoping no one else would come in…hoping that Nathan would just go. The same questions that had plagued her all day still pounded in her head. Why was he here? Why now, after five years, did he want to rake over the past? Why had he kissed her? Worse, why had she kissed him back with such mindless passion?
No answers eased her troubled mind and she sighed, one hand rubbing the back of her neck, where tension had tightened her muscles. The strain of the day was catching up with her. She was tired, and wanted nothing more than to go home and have a long soak in a hot, fragrant bubble bath before falling into bed. The oblivion of sleep had never seemed more attractive. After the incident on the stairs she had been a nervous wreck throughout the rest of her busy shift. Half the time had been spent worrying whether her risky emergency plan would work and the other half trying to avoid Nathan as much as possible. It hadn’t helped that the feel and taste and scent of him had lingered to torment and tempt her.
She huffed out a breath, her errant thoughts turning to her first days of medical school and meeting Nathan. She had been eighteen, bursting with enthusiasm and an almost naïve zeal. Most of the rest of the students in the group had been around the same age…all except Nathan. At twenty-two he had stood apart, serious, already seeming much more mature and interesting than the rest of the intake.
On the surface he had been reserved and shy, a very private person. He had kept to himself, but as they had become friends and he’d relaxed more around her she had discovered that he was caring, intelligent, warm and surprisingly funny. He had also been generous with his time and knowledge, always willing to help her when she struggled with areas of the coursework. She was at her best with people, while Nathan, although having a special touch with patients, was gifted academically, preferring to focus on his studies and avoid the social merry-go-round, where he had seemed awkward and out of place. They had made a good team, and the relationship had blossomed into so much more when she had accepted Nathan’s tentative invitation to date. Friendship had led to passion…and to four years of happiness together.
She would never forget the first time they had made love. She’d had only one serious boyfriend before Nathan, and, whilst she had enjoyed sex, she’d soon realised how innocent and tame her previous experience had been. For Joe had been a boy, and nothing had prepared her for Nathan the man—for all he’d done to her and made her feel…out of control and soaring to the heavens with indescribable pleasure. Nathan had indulged and encouraged her adventurous spirit, and she had met and matched his fiery passion, the challenge to explore and experiment and push the boundaries. Nathan’s sensual wickedness had been a delicious surprise. She’d teased him about it always being the quiet ones who had hidden depths. He’d just smiled that slow, sexy smile, and then shown her over and over again how very sinful he could be.
Annie frowned as she considered how it had all gone so wrong. Nathan’s rejection of her stung as painfully now as it had then. She hadn’t understood him at all, she realised. And there was so much about him that she still didn’t know. Her frown deepened. She had been so happy. Nothing else had seemed important. And Nathan had never volunteered information about his background. It hadn’t mattered. Or so she had thought. They’d been in love, the perfect couple, and she had believed they would be together for ever. Until it had all come crashing down around her, leaving her broken and bewildered, her dreams and her heart in tatters.
Now, a few short hours after Nathan’s shocking reappearance in her life, her body was rousing itself from a long-enforced slumber and letting her know how enjoyable it would be to renew their acquaintance. She suppressed the shiver of desire that rippled through her and shook her head. That was so not going to happen. She had barely survived the last time. If she allowed Nathan to get close again it would destroy her. Despite everything she had made something of herself—something different than she had once planned, but more than she had ever expected. She couldn’t let Nathan take that from her.
Hearing a faint rumble of voices from beyond the door, Annie cracked it open again to peep out, and saw two figures further down the corridor. Relief swelled inside her when she saw who Nathan was talking to. Thank God. Please let this plan work, she begged silently, rising to her feet, shouldering her bag and draping her coat over one arm. Hoping that nothing would go wrong in the next few moments, she left the room. It was show time. Disaster management was the name of the game—to give her some breathing space until she came up with a viable long-term solution.
A sound drew Nathan’s attention and he turned round, disappointed to discover that it was not Annie emerging from the locker room. Instead, a man he didn’t recognise was now loitering further down the corridor. In his late twenties, Nathan judged, the man had short, spiky blond hair, and was dressed in a well-worn black leather jacket, faded jeans with rips across one thigh, and studded black boots. Unable to detect any hospital ID, and cautious about security after his spells in big city hospitals, Nathan moved towards the man, unconsciously putting himself between Annie in the locker room and any hint of a possible problem.
‘Can I help you?’ he asked, keeping his tone unchallenging.
The man turned to face him with an infectious smile. ‘No. Thanks, though. I’m waiting for someone. I—’ He broke off, his gaze straying beyond Nathan. ‘Ah, here she is!’ His smile widened to a grin as a door banged shut and footsteps sounded on the floor.
Nathan just had time to look behind him and move aside as Annie, dressed now in figure-hugging jeans and a blue fleecy top, whooshed past him and straight into the man’s arms.
Annie flung herself at Will, hearing his grunt of surprise. Thankfully he caught her, his strong arms closing around her just as she needed them to right now.
‘Not that I’m sorry to see you, hon, but what the hell is all this about?’ he whispered in her ear as he spun her round.
‘Please, please play along,’ she murmured back, hugging him tight, some of her initial relief giving way to a strange confusion and a sense of unease. ‘I’ll explain later.’
Slowly Will set her feet back on the floor, keeping an arm around her as she snuggled close. She was horribly aware of Nathan nearby, watching them, and whilst this had been her plan since sending the SOS text, she felt edgy and awkward as she sucked in a steadying breath and introduced the two men.
‘Um, Will—this is Nathan Shepherd. He’s just joined the unit. Nathan, this is Will Brown, another of the A and E doctors,’ she managed, unable to meet Nathan’s gaze.
Will reached round her to shake Nathan’s hand. ‘The name rings a bell.’ He smiled, and Annie froze, hoping he wasn’t going to do anything embarrassing or say something to give her away.
‘Not the foot fetish guy?’ he mused. ‘Wait a minute. Doughnuts!’
Annie smothered a groan.
Nathan knew his expression was brittle, but he couldn’t help it—couldn’t have forced a smile if his life had depended on it. Everything inside him seemed to have gone into cold storage. He hadn’t thought it was possible to hurt more than he had, but he had been wrong. Fresh pain cut through him, lacerating everything tha
t had dared to begin to live again when he had seen Annie today.
Because Annie was involved with another man.
Clearly she had mentioned him to Will at some time, but was that all that had been noteworthy about their four-year relationship? The doughnuts? It made him feel as if he was just one in a line of unmemorable former boyfriends. Clearly their time together had meant nothing, and she hadn’t been as devastated about their break-up or as in love with him as he had thought.
And she’d been out with a foot fetishist?
‘Not that your feet aren’t cute, hon,’ Will was saying now, ‘but…’
‘Yeah, I know all about your own fetishes!’ Annie grinned.
‘You sure do!’
Nathan felt sick. He had made one more in a series of dumb mistakes over this woman, and he had no one to blame but himself. Of all the scenarios and outcomes he had considered when he had decided to come here, Annie being with someone else had not been on his list. A stupid oversight—one he had probably subconsciously avoided because of how he felt right at this minute. Lost. Without hope. Gripped by pain. He had been unable to date any other woman, and deep inside he had wanted to believe that Annie had loved him enough not to give herself to another man. Idiot, idiot, idiot, he chastised himself.
And Will was another doctor with whom he would have to work in this department? Just great. He’d have to see them together every day. Why in God’s name had he come here? What the hell had he expected to achieve? Had he really thought that Annie would still be thinking of him, pining for him? She’d made her views plain five years ago. Just because he’d never stopped loving her, it didn’t mean she felt the same. He could see that—now.
All this time he had clung to the fantasy that he and Annie were destined to be together—that she was his one soul mate and that somehow he could win her back. He was angry that he had been such a pathetic fool. Annie had left him, had said it was over. He had not wanted to believe it. He had taken a chance for the first time in his life of opening himself to another person and Annie had rejected him—had run away at the first hurdle, demanding her own way at once rather than stopping to listen to his point of view or caring about his feelings.
He frowned again as the thoughts raced through his mind, admitting to himself that while there were big parts of him that only Annie had ever seen, there were significant parts of him that he had withheld even from her. She hadn’t understood his motivation because he had never explained…but when trouble had come she had run rather than give him the benefit of the doubt, throwing his love back at him as if it meant nothing to her.
He knew that feeling. All his life he had felt rejected, not good enough. Annie had been different, had seen him differently—or so he had thought.
Annie hadn’t said one word about Will. Why hadn’t she told him right away that she was seeing someone? Even when she had panicked after their passionate kiss earlier in the day, being involved with another man had not featured amongst her excuses before she had run. And none of the staff gossip referred to Annie being attached. Why? What was he missing? Or was he just trying to ignore the fact that Annie’s heart now belonged to someone else? He might not have been able to turn to another woman for solace, but that didn’t mean Annie had been celibate. Pain stabbed at what remained of his heart. He was just deluding himself, rubbing salt into festering wounds.
It seemed he was still as much of a fool over Annie as he always had been. He’d been carrying her photo and her memory around with him for five long, painfully lonely years. And while he had been acting like a lovesick teenager Annie had moved on with her life…just as she had said. She had never given him a second thought. It hurt. Badly.
‘Ready to go home, hon?’
Will’s question drew him from his agonising thoughts. Nathan saw Annie glance quickly at him from beneath her lashes, but she refused to meet his gaze.
‘Yep. I’m done here,’ she replied, turning back towards Will as the man helped her on with her coat.
Wishing he was any place else, Nathan felt as if his feet were rooted to the spot, pain slicing through him as Will, one arm wrapped around Annie’s waist, offered a friendly smile he was powerless to return.
‘Good to meet you, Nathan. You’ll have to come round to our place for a meal one night while you’re here.’
He noted the way Annie dug her elbow into Will’s ribs. Clearly she didn’t appreciate the idea any more than Nathan did. No way could he endure a social evening and make polite conversation with Annie and her lover. As they turned and walked away, Nathan felt a crushing fist destroy the remaining fragments of his heart and he sank back against the wall, needing additional support to keep him standing. He had no business messing with Annie’s life. He might want to punch Will’s lights out, but it was clear the guy cared about her and who could blame him? She was beautiful, special—and she didn’t want him. When was he going to accept the inevitable and give up? Why did he keep punishing himself?
Heading to the men’s locker room, glad to find no one else there to witness his misery, he sat down and scrubbed his hands over his face. He had decisions to make. He had half a mind to leave Strathlochan now—tonight. To go and never come back. But he’d signed a contract and, despite his own despair, it wasn’t in his nature to let other people down. Besides, where would he go? A bitter, self-mocking laugh escaped him. He didn’t belong anywhere now.
Thoughts of Annie had held him together through many nightmares over the years, but she was no longer the solution to his emptiness, no longer the sunshine in his grey world. As much as it killed him to admit it, he could no longer look to her for any kind of future. He was on his own. Alone. As he always had been and as he always would be from now on.
For the moment he would do his job to the best of his abilities and endeavour to keep out of Annie’s way…As much as humanly possible, given Robert Mowbray’s determination to have them working the same shifts. In the meantime, he would turn down the consultant’s suggestion that he lengthen his stay and take a full time position in Strathlochan. Maybe the time had come to consider taking the job he had been offered in Africa…as far away from Annie Webster as he could get.
CHAPTER FOUR
ANNIE was still shaking with reaction by the time they arrived back at the house. Situated midway along a tree-lined terrace, in a quiet part of town not too far from the hospital, the traditional two-storey granite building had been her home since she had arrived in Strathlochan. Aware of Will following her up the path, carrying the fish and chip suppers they had stopped to collect, she fumbled for her keys. The icy evening air stung, and wind-driven raindrops bit into her face like dozens of tiny daggers, reinforcing the fact that winter still held them in its grip. Fingers unsteady, she managed to open the front door, sighing with relief when she stepped inside the welcoming warmth. The house felt more than ever like a sanctuary.
Flipping on the lights, she hung up her coat, dropped her bag at the foot of the stairs, and followed Will through to the homely kitchen. She was grateful for his silence, but knew it would not be long before he asked inevitable questions. Questions she had no wish to answer. In the meantime, she busied herself putting out some fresh salad and filling two glasses with water, while Will served the aromatic fish and chips onto plates. After adding cutlery—and the ketchup Will couldn’t seem to consume any food without—they sat at the small table in the kitchen to have their meal.
She rarely matched Will’s enjoyment of junk food, but fish and chips were an occasional treat she succumbed to. Tonight, however, Annie had to force herself to eat, her appetite having deserted her. Racked with nerves, she relied on false jollity to cover her muddled emotions, trying to fill the silence as she talked of her day at work, all the time feeling Will watching her.
‘Olivia was in full tart mode,’ she finished with a forced laugh, as the reality of Nathan’s presence as the new doctor in the department would no longer be denied. ‘You know what she’s like when she senses pote
ntial new prey in the vicinity.’
‘Annie—’
Pressing on in desperation, she laughed again, knowing she was the one who had touched on dangerous ground and could not now retreat. ‘You are so bad! What on earth was that foot fetish stuff about? Did you see Nathan’s face? He was so shocked.’
‘He was hurt, Annie. More than hurt. I saw that much.’ Will reached out and caught her hand as she fiddled with items on the table, unable to sit still or hide her agitation. ‘What’s going on, hon?’
‘Nothing,’ she lied, unable to look at him.
His fingers tightened on hers, preventing her efforts to evade him. ‘I think you owe me an explanation. I came running in answer to your text, and I went along with the subterfuge you sprang on me.’
‘I know, Will. And I’m grateful.’ She sighed, the whirl of energy draining away, leaving her weary and unsettled. ‘Seeing Nathan today was a big shock and I panicked. All of a sudden he’s determined to dig up the past. I don’t want to. It’s been five years, for goodness’ sake!’ Apprehension shivered through her as she thought of seeing Nathan in the days ahead. She looked up, facing Will as she voiced her request. ‘Help me. Pretend that we’re together.’
‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Will protested, a frown stripping the customary good humour from his handsome face.
Anxious, she returned the pressure of his fingers. ‘Please, Will. For a few days. I need to buy some time while I decide what to do.’
Annie held her breath as she waited for Will to speak, seeing the doubt cloud his eyes as he thought over what she had said. She knew he would do almost anything for her…as she would for him. They had started in Strathlochan’s A and E department on the same day, nervous, newly qualified, and embarking on their first foundation year in their chosen specialty of emergency medicine. Both had been singled out and bullied by the then dictatorial and prejudiced senior consultant—thankfully now retired—so it had been natural for them to gravitate together. They had formed an instant bond, swiftly becoming best friends and allies. When, a few months later, Will had split up with his partner and had nowhere to live, Annie had insisted he house-share with her. They’d been living together ever since.
The emergency doctor claims his wife Page 5
