“You’re young. You’re still figuring things out—what you want to do, who you want to be. I’m older. I already know what I want from life, and I don’t need to be hanging out with you and pretending I’m a kid again. I need to stay focused, and I know that if I let my guard down, you’ll get to me, and I’ll lose sight of what I should be doing. Make sense?”
I pull into the parking space she pointed to. She unclips her seatbelt and turns to face me. “That doesn’t make any sense at all, Ethan. I see the way you look at me. It’s either with lust or disgust, and sometimes both. I know you want me, but I also know that you hate that you want me. I can see that you’re hanging on by a thread, and I know, one day, that thread will break.” She opens the door, but doesn’t get out. “I just wanted to point that out. I don’t want you blaming me when it happens; we both know it will.” She gets out and slams the door behind her.
I sit, watching as she walks up the sidewalk and lets herself into her apartment. I watch the door close, the lights flick on, and the curtain sway gently as she moves around. I just sit and watch, completely fucking taken off guard.
I guess she knows more than I’d hoped.
She’s right.
I’m hanging on by a thread that’s slowly unraveling.
Chaper Five
Aria
The weekend passes and Monday rolls around. Ethan and I work side by side, but neither of us mentions what happened over the weekend. I can’t help but watch him when he doesn’t know I’m looking. I can’t ignore the tingles that wash over me when he moves around the large tractor tires—causing every muscle in his body to harden and bulge. I stare at the way the sweat rolls down his biceps, the way he uses his forearm to wipe dust from his face, and the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he looks at me. That thread he’s hanging by is getting thinner and thinner. I can feel it, and I’m excited for when it finally snaps completely, leaving him falling. I’ll catch him.
Ethan runs out and picks up lunch for the three of us. Dad takes his back to his office, leaving Ethan and me to eat alone. We sit on either side of the glass counter. I open my salad and pour on the dressing, stirring it around to make sure it’s evenly coated. He unwraps his double bacon cheeseburger and pours out his supersized fries. The smell of the grease wafts up my nose and it smells heavenly, but there’s no way can I eat that. One burger and my butt grows a size larger. Ves was lucky—she took after our mom, who is still rail-thin. I, however, was lucky enough to take after our father who, let’s face it, is the same shape as a beach ball. I work extra hard to stay in shape.
“God, the smell of your food is killing me,” I complain.
He takes a huge bite and nods. “Yeah, they went a little heavy on the onions,” he says around a mouthful. “Sorry.”
I take a bite of my crispy salad. “Don’t be. I wish I had ordered that.”
His eyes widen. “You want some?” He grabs the plastic knife out of the grease-stained paper bag.
“No,” I mumble, waving my hand through the air as I try to swallow the food in my mouth. “No way can I eat that.”
He frowns. “Why not? You allergic or something?”
I laugh. “I guess you could say that.” I point to the grease dripping from the burger. “I eat that, and my ass will grow to the size of Arizona.”
He scoffs. “You’re telling me you don’t eat burgers?”
I nod once. “I haven’t had a burger and fries since I was twelve.” I shrug. “Apparently, my period arrived and my ability to eat normal food left.”
He rolls his eyes. “No way. Not from one burger,” he disagrees, shaking his head. “And it’s not like you’re fat. You could afford to gain a couple pounds. Plus, I’m more of an ass man, anyway.” He grins and winks.
His words make my face heat up and I laugh and nod. “I’ll remember that.”
I don’t know what’s happened over this past week, but Ethan is becoming easier and easier to talk to. He’s moved from downright ignoring me to openly flirting with me. However, when I flirt with him, he still seems a little freaked out. His eyes grow in size, his Adam’s apple bobs, and his body visibly hardens. He usually escapes at that point—thinking up some excuse to leave without acknowledging what I’ve said.
We sit and eat our lunch while talking about work—specifically, inventory and how it’s done.
Once we finish, I stand and throw my trash away. “So, you working again this weekend?”
“No, I actually got the weekend off.” He points his finger at me. “So don’t go out with any drunk idiots, because I won’t be there to bail you out.”
I smile and show him my palms. “I won’t. I swear. I think I’ll have a quiet weekend at home. You know, take a long, hot bubble bath. Pamper myself: a mani-pedi, maybe even a wax.” I lift a brow and he swallows down excess saliva like just picturing it causes him to drool.
“Yep, I’ll probably be home alone all weekend long,” I say casually, hoping he takes it as an invitation.
“Well, have fun. I’m going to get back to work.” He stands and tosses his wadded-up wrapper into the trash like he’s shooting a basketball. “I think your dad has a long list of shit for me to get done before the weekend.” He turns and pushes his way out the door, leaving me alone.
I let out a long sigh, wishing he’d pick up on a hint and take me up on my offer.
It’s Saturday afternoon, and already I’m going stir crazy. I’m not a sit-at-home-and-relax kind of girl! Why did I say that? I go out. I visit family and friends. I shop. I get my nails done and go have some drinks. I don’t sit at home! But now that I’ve told him that, I want to stick to my word—just in case he has a moment of weakness and drops by. I’m pacing the hardwood floor with a glass of wine in hand.
“Just call him!” I tell myself. “I could make up some stupid excuse, like…my internet went out and I can’t get anyone to come check it out being that it’s a Saturday.” I roll my eyes at myself. “No, that’s stupid. He’ll never buy it.” I set my glass on the table and throw myself back onto the couch.
“This is sooo stupid. I shouldn’t be hanging out here, waiting for him to maybe show up. I should go out and do something!” I grab my phone and start scrolling through my contacts, then call one that feels promising.
“Hey, Sandy! Want to hang out?” I ask.
“Sorry. You know I totally would, but Jack has some special plans for this evening. I think he’s going to propose!” she squeals.
“That’s great! Well, let me know how it goes.” I hang up the phone and stick out my tongue. I hate when all my friends have great lives and I’m still in the same place I was four years ago.
I dial Justin. “Hey, got plans for tonight?”
“Ahh, Are, I wish you would’ve called sooner. I do actually have plans. Sorry, babe.”
“No worries. Get ahold of me later.” I hang up and call Ves, my last resort.
“Hey, big sis. Want to do something tonight?”
She giggles, but it’s not something I said. It’s something Liam did. Gross.
“I can’t. Liam and I are in Alaska. Won’t be home until next week.” She giggles again. “Bye, Aria.” She hangs up on me.
“Ugh, this sucks!” I cry out loud.
I drop my phone and reach for my wine—my eyes settling on a tent in the corner of the room. I laugh. My dad got it for me for my birthday last year. I walked in with it, tossed it in the corner, and haven’t touched it since. Maybe I should go camping. It might be just what the doctor ordered. I could hang out in nature alone and think things over—like why Ethan flirts with me but doesn’t seem to like it when I flirt with him.
This is crazy.
I push myself up and get to work on packing the things I’ll need. I grab my sleeping bag and toss it into the corner with the tent. Then I dig out the old cooler I used to take to all the BYOB parties I went to, and I load it down with wine, ice, and some pepperoni and cheese cubes so I can have a snack later. I grab a lighter and slide
it into my pocket.
After loading up my car, I use my Bluetooth to stream YouTube videos through the car speakers. First video: how to camp. Unfortunately my reception keeps cutting out the higher up I go, so I end up missing most of the video.
It takes me at least an hour to make it up the mountain, but I finally find the perfect camping spot. There’s enough land where I can safely camp, but it’s also on the side of the mountain, giving me the perfect view of the setting sun. First, I put up the tent and start gathering firewood, dried leaves, and grass.
Once all the supplies are gathered, I pull out my phone to try to finish watching the video, but of course, I have no signal. With a sigh, I toss it into the tent and bend down, trying to remember what the video said so I can figure out the rest for myself. I stack all the sticks, leaving an opening underneath where I stuff all the dead grass and leaves. Using my lighter, I put the flame at the bottom and light the leaves. They go up in flames, and slowly, a small trickle of smoke drifts up through the wood pile.
I want to dance and cheer because I actually did it, but then the fire starts to go out, so I lower myself to the ground and blow, remembering that from the video. The fire glows, and it slowly starts to take over the pile of wood. Before I know it, there’s a big warm fire burning directly in front of me.
With that out of the way, I sit on the edge of the tent and pull my cooler closer. I take out the bottle of wine. Realizing I don’t have a glass, I drink straight from the bottle. As I watch the fire burn and drink my wine, my mind drifts off. And as usual, it drifts to Ethan: how sexy he is when his big biceps flex, how tensing his jaw causes butterflies to flutter away in my stomach, and how goosebumps prickle my skin when he licks his lips. I wish he would let me kiss him. I know that’s all it’d take to break through that wall he’s built.
One kiss is all it’d take.
One kiss to change both our lives.
The wind picks up and causes a shiver to run up my spine. I guess I didn’t think about how much colder it’d be up on the mountain. I rush to my car and grab the small jacket I’ve had lying in the back seat. Pulling it on, I take my place by the fire and continue with my wine.
When the sun fully sets, the temperature drops dramatically. I’m only out of the tent long enough to stoke the fire. Then I’m right back in my tent, surrounding myself with my sleeping bag while shivering uncontrollably.
At some point I fall asleep, and when I wake, it’s completely dark. The fire went out. Fuck. No way am I going to be able to have a scavenger hunt in the dark, on the side of a mountain, looking for sticks to start the fire again.
Fuck. This. It’s cold. This is miserable. I’m going home.
I get out from under my sleeping bag and the cold bites into my skin. I scramble to roll up the bag, but decide I’ll come back for everything tomorrow. No way can I do this in the dark while I’m shivering uncontrollably.
I unzip the tent and step out, surprised to find freshly fallen snow. I can’t fucking believe I did this. I can’t believe there’s snow! It’s only early October. I know nothing about camping, weather, or mountains. I never should have done this.
I trek through the snow to my car and get behind the wheel. The car starts just fine, and cold air blows through the vents, causing me to shiver and silently pray for the car to heat up as quickly as possible.
I put the car into reverse and back up until I can turn around completely. Slowly and carefully, I drive down the mountain. The farther I get, the more scared I feel. The road is completely covered. I’m terrified I’ll find a patch of ice and somehow end up plummeting to my death down the side of the rocky mountain. Each time a thought like that pops up, I turn up the radio a bit louder to drown out all those thoughts.
I know I haven’t made it far considering I’m driving so slowly, but at least I’m warm. I look down for just a second to turn down the heat, when suddenly, there’s a loud crunching sound and a big jerk. I scream and hit the brakes. The car stops. My heart is pounding wildly in my chest and I’m now sweating. But I take a deep breath. “You can do this. You just ran off the road a little bit. Just back up, and you’ll be fine,” I tell myself.
I shift into reverse and let off the brakes. The car doesn’t move. I hit the gas and the engine revs up, but the car still doesn’t budge. Fuck. I’m stuck.
I get out and walk around to the passenger side to find my tire stuck in a deep rut. I slowly walk down—standing almost knee-deep in a snow-filled ditch—and try pushing the car backward. To be safe, I’m positioned in such a way that the car won’t roll on top of me if it breaks free. But it doesn’t move an inch.
Tired and out of breath, I climb my way out of the ditch and get back in the car, trying again to back out to no avail. Finally, after stomping the gas several times without going anywhere, I put the car in park and look for my phone—only to realize I’ve left it in the tent.
“Fuck.” I let my forehead hit the steering wheel. “I can’t believe this! I’m so stupid.”
What am I going to do? I’m stuck up on the side of a mountain with no way to call for help. My breathing is now erratic and wild, and my heart is pumping twice as hard as usual thanks to the added stress.
I guess I’ll just sleep here. In the morning, the sun will warm things up a bit, and I’ll walk back to the tent, pack up, and get my phone. Maybe when I’m back in the car with my phone, I’ll find a signal and can call for help.
I leave the car running for heat, and crawl into the back seat to sleep and wait for morning.
Hours later, I wake, shivering once again. I let out a deep breath and can see the white puff of air in the darkness. I sit up and see the car is still turned on—I’ve just run out of gas.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I yell.
I can’t do this. I can’t sit here and freeze to death. I’ll walk. I know there are homes and cabins scattered throughout this mountain range. Eventually, I’ll find someone who can help.
I get out and pull my hood up over my head, zip up my jacket, and wrap my arms around myself as I walk down the mountain. It’s dark, but the longer I walk, the more my eyes adjust and the more I can see. It’s quiet other than the sound of the wind howling through the trees and mountain peaks, coupled with the crunch of snow beneath my feet.
I’m freezing to the point my teeth are chattering and I know I’ve walked at least a mile, but I still haven’t come upon any houses or signs of life. After what feels like hours of walking, my whole body is sore from shivering and I can no longer feel my toes. The snow starts back up—now so thick I can hardly see a foot in front of my face.
My face is numb and my cheeks burn from the cold. Tears are leaking from my eyes, then freezing on my cheeks before they can even fall all the way down. I’m tired. Sore. Frozen. Panicked. I’m numbly walking, not even paying attention anymore—just knowing that I have to keep moving. Lying down is not an option no matter how tired I get.
I slowly walk around a curb, no longer able to walk at a normal pace. The snow has let up a bit, and I can see a cabin off in the distance. There’s a light on—a yellow glow shining through the two front windows. It’s so warm, I can practically feel it from here. Excitement burns in my chest, pushing me to walk faster, then to run. I stumble and fall through the snow-filled dips and ditches, but finally find the driveway that allows me to walk up to the front door.
I lift my hand and knock on the wood so hard that the doorknob and hinges rattle. The door swings open.
“Aria?”
His voice draws my eyes up to him. Ethan. Of course it’s Ethan.
“I-I,” I start, but he grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me inside, where it’s so warm.
“What the hell are you doing up here?” he asks, pulling me against him in a big hug. “Fuck, you’re freezing. Come on.” He pulls me across the room and guides me down to the floor in front of the fire. Quickly—faster than I can even process—he throws a blanket over my shoulders and grabs my foot.
�
�Wh-what arrrre you dooiiiing?” I ask around my shivers.
“You need to take everything off to warm up. I’ll be surprised if you don’t have frostbite. It’s, like, two degrees outside!” he yells, removing my socks and shoes while I can’t do anything but shiver.
He stands. “Take off your wet clothes and I’ll get you something to drink.” He walks away, to the small kitchen area.
I quickly look over my shoulder at him to make sure he isn’t watching, then remove my jacket, shirt, and bra. I stand quickly and remove my jeans, leaving my hot pink panties on. I pull the blanket back around me and sit in front of the fire to warm up.
He comes back with a lantern, a bottle of bourbon, and two glasses, causing me laugh.
“I thought you were getting coffee, not liquor.”
Chapter Six
Ethan
“Alcohol works better at warming you up,” I say, sitting on the floor next to her and pouring us both a drink. “What the fuck were you doing out there, Aria?”
“I wanted to camp,” she says, raising the glass and taking a long sip. “Everything was fine until the sun went down. What is this place?” She looks around. “You live here?”
I shake my head. “I live in town. This is just my hunting cabin.” I shake my head again, clearing it to get back to the point. “Why the fuck did you think today would be a good day to camp? Didn’t you see all the winter storm warnings on TV?”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t even think to check the weather. I’m so stupid. And then my phone didn’t work. And I got my car stuck in a ditch. With no phone, I couldn’t call for help. I decided to sleep in the back seat until morning, but I woke up when I ran out of gas. I knew I couldn’t stay there with no heat, so I figured if I was going to freeze, I would take my chances and hopefully find someone who could help.” She holds her glass out for more. Her hands are still shaking, but she’s gotten her chattering teeth under control just enough to talk clearly.
Baby Shock Page 4
