Starting Over

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Starting Over Page 12

by Cheryl Douglas


  “I’ve watched my parents go through their ups and downs,” she said, seeming unfazed by his reaction. “They’ve been married twenty-five years. Separated a time or two, but they always found their way back to each other. Course, they had me and my younger brother to think about it. Maybe that’s why they tried so hard to make it work. You and your wife have any kids?”

  “No.”

  “That’s probably why it was so easy for your wife to cut you loose.”

  Alex clenched his teeth, thinking it was about time to end their conversation so he could finish his meal in peace.

  “Did y’all want kids?” Glo asked, popping the last fry into her mouth.

  He figured the only way to get rid of her was to answer her questions. “She did. Me? Not so much.”

  “How come?” she asked, crossing her arms. “You’re not one of those guys who’re afraid of commitment, are you?”

  “I got married, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, but having a kid together takes it to a whole different level. If you’re a decent guy, unlike my ex. Is that what scared you?”

  “I don’t know.” He pushed the plate aside, wiping his mouth with a paper napkin. He stretched one arm across the back of the bench seat and regarded his companion. She reminded him of Tonya—nosy, opinionated, and sassy. Maybe that’s why she was so easy to talk to. “I told myself I wasn’t ready to have a kid because my career took me away from home so much.”

  “But you think that was just an excuse?”

  “I don’t know.” He’d been thinking about that a lot lately, wondering how he would have handled the situation if he had it to do over. If they had gotten pregnant and the marriage fell apart, negotiating custody would have complicated their lives further. Perhaps he’d sensed it was too late to salvage their marriage and that’s why he wasn’t excited about the prospect of bringing a baby into the equation. “I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

  “You still love her though.”

  Alex didn’t know how she could read him so easily, but it was kind of unnerving. “Yeah, I do.”

  “She still love you?”

  “Yeah, I think so.” He knew she did. He saw it in her eyes the last time they were together, which had made walking away from her for the last time the hardest thing he’d ever had to do.

  “Then you’re an idiot for letting her go.”

  Alex stared at her, unable to believe her audacity. “Haven’t you ever heard that saying about loving something and letting it go, kid?”

  Rolling her eyes, Glo said, “Give me a break. You don’t really believe that, do you?” She jumped when a car horn sounded. “There’s my daddy now.” She raised her hand, beckoning him inside. “You can talk to him about the cabin if you want. He’s not using it right now. He’s too busy with his trucking business to get away.”

  Alex watched a big, burly man with a pot belly hanging over his belted blue jeans jump out of a dirty pick-up truck. He was wearing a baseball cap and a plaid shirt and didn’t look much older than Alex. Having babies right out of high school must run in their family.

  “Hey, Daddy,” Glo said, smiling at the scowling man. “I want you to meet a new friend of mine.” She must have realized she hadn’t even asked his name because she gave Alex a pointed look, begging him to rescue her.

  “Alex…” He considered giving the man his last name but thought better of it. He’d withdrawn cash because he didn’t want anyone to track him down. “Nice to meet you.” He stood to shake the other man’s hand.

  “Jim Reynolds,” he said, offering more of a glare than a smile. He glanced at Alex’s helmet on the seat next to Glo. “That bike out there yours?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Sweet ride. I used to have a Harley, but my wife made me sell it when the kids came along.” He smirked. “Damn near broke my heart.”

  “I can see why.” Alex placed his helmet on the seat next to him and gestured to the seat next to Jim’s daughter. “You got a minute? Glo tells me you might have a place to rent?”

  “The cabin,” Glo said when her father frowned. “You said yourself it’s a shame to leave it sitting like that.”

  “I don’t know if I’m ready to rent it to a stranger,” Jim said, sliding into the seat next to Gloria. “No offense, but I don’t know you from Adam, man.”

  “I’m not looking for a long-term arrangement,” Alex said quickly. He couldn’t imagine putting down roots in a town with one traffic light. “Just a week. I can pay cash. Name your price.” The place could be a dive, but he needed a break to figure out where the next leg of his tour would take him. A remote cabin in the woods sounded ideal.

  Jim looked concerned. “You’re not running from the law, are you? I don’t want any trouble.”

  “No, he’s running from his ex-wife,” Glo said, winking at Alex.

  “Oh man,” Jim said, taking his baseball cap off to run a hand over his thick, sandy-blond curls. “You behind on child support? Alimony? I don’t wanna get involved with nothin’ like that.”

  “No, there is no dispute with my ex,” Alex said, glaring at Glo for giving her father the wrong impression. “We just finalized the divorce, and I… uh… lost my job the same week. Just needed to get away and clear my head while I figure out what to do next.”

  “I hear ya,” Jim said. He looked him over, obviously trying to decide whether manual labor was Alex’s thing. “I might have something for you, if you’re interested.”

  “That’s real nice of you to offer,” Alex said, trying to keep a straight face. “But I’m just passing through. About the cabin…?”

  “I don’t see why not,” Jim said, reaching for a napkin from the metal dispenser. He took the pen out of his shirt pocket and scribbled directions on the napkin. “Since it’s only for a week, I guess it can’t do no harm.”

  “I appreciate it,” Alex said, grateful he would have a place to kick up his feet.

  “The place is pretty rustic,” Jim warned. “No TV or Internet. We don’t even have a phone, and cell reception is sketchy at best.”

  “Sounds perfect.” Alex reached into the inside pocket of his leather jacket for the envelope stuffed with cash. He wasn’t going to take it out in the middle of a restaurant, so he discreetly reached inside and pulled five hundred-dollar bills off the top. “Will that do?” He slid the money across the table.

  “Sure enough,” Jim said, folding the bills and stuffing them into his shirt pocket. “The only grocery store in town is closed now, but there are some staples in the cupboard. Help yourself to whatever’s there. There are clean sheets and towels in the linen closet.” He reached into his shirt pocket and retrieved a business card. “My cell phone number is on there. Just call if you need anything. You’re welcome to use the boat and canoe. The keys for the boat are in the top drawer in the kitchen.”

  “Thanks, Jim. I really appreciate this.”

  “No problem.” Jim set a key ring with a single silver key down on the table, slid out of the booth, and said to his daughter, “We better get you home now. Your little guy was waking up and asking for his mama before I left.”

  “Good luck, Alex,” Glo said, offering her hand. “I hope you like it here.”

  “I’m sure I will,” Alex said, thinking about how friendly the locals had been so far. “It was nice to meet you, Glo, and thanks for helping me find a place to stay.”

  “My pleasure.” Winking at him, she whispered, “And don’t waste any more time crying over your ex. A guy like you could find another bed warmer in no time, hon.”

  Chapter Ten

  “You just have to let your thoughts drift,” Jane said in a soothing voice. “Meditation is all about quieting your mind.”

  That was easy for her mother to say. She didn’t have an ex who had been MIA for two weeks, a construction project making her crazy, a baby making her sick every morning, and a full bladder to boot. “I’m trying, Mom.”

  “Just focus on your breathing,” she said calml
y. “Deep breath in, and don’t release it until I tell you to… one, two, three, four, and release.”

  “If you keep that up, I’m going to pass out.”

  “Open your eyes,” Jane said. “What’s really going on with you? Don’t tell me nothing again. I know something’s wrong.”

  Eve had been trying to keep the pregnancy a secret, but she knew her employees suspected something. Every time she walked into the restaurant and smelled bacon, she made a beeline for the ladies room. “I guess this project is a little more stressful than I thought it would be.”

  So many of her aunt’s ideas were excellent, but Eve was having trouble with the idea of replacing the children’s playground with a serenity garden. She imagined her son or daughter pumping their little legs on the swings or squealing as they slid down the slide, and she wanted to keep the inn a family-friendly place that welcomed everyone who needed a little R&R.

  “I know you want to honor your aunt’s wishes, but maybe it doesn’t have to be all or nothing,” Jane suggested.

  Jane’s intuitiveness still caught Eve off guard sometimes. Her mother often knew what she was thinking before she found the courage to say it. Eve unfolded her legs from the crossed position her mother insisted upon. Jane liked to finish off their morning yoga routine with fifteen minutes of guided meditation, insisting it would help Eve be more calm and productive during the day.

  “Aunt Sharon was pretty specific about her plans for the inn.” Eve reached for the hooded sweatshirt she’d tossed aside earlier. She went from hot to cold in the blink of an eye anymore.

  “True, but she left the inn to you because she trusted you. You’re the one who has to live here, honey. This place has to be a reflection of you as much as it keeps Sharon’s memory alive.”

  Eve knew that’s why she was so afraid of straying from the plans—she didn’t want to lose the essence of her aunt that remained. “I know. I’m just not sure I know how to do that.”

  “Maybe you could have the best of both worlds. I’ve been observing a lot of the families who come here. The parents are wrung out from chasing their little ones all day. We could offer licensed day care along with the full-service spa so the moms could sneak away for a little pampering.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Eve said, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. A day care would benefit her as well. She could have her baby nearby and still have time to run the inn and the charitable foundation. “I’m still not sure what to do about the playground. I want to keep it, but Aunt Sharon’s plans seem pretty set on the serenity garden.”

  “I don’t see why you couldn’t keep the playground as a wonderful spot for parents to watch their children play. You might have to change a few things, but you could still have the benches, pathways, and flower gardens Sharon wanted.”

  “You’re pretty good at this, you know. I may have to keep you around.”

  They shared a smile before Jane said, “I have a confession to make. I’m hoping you’ll decide I’m indispensable. This place feels like home more and more every day.”

  “For me too.” Eve looked around at the little room that housed their temporary studio while the full-service gym was being built. “I really do love this place.”

  “But something’s still missing. You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready,” Jane said.

  “I’m worried about Alex.”

  “I thought that might be it.” Jane leaned forward and touched her daughter’s knee. “Alex’s decision to get away isn’t so surprising. His life is in upheaval right now. I’m sure he just needs to figure out where to go from here.”

  “I’m sure you’re right.” Eve wanted to believe he would be back soon, but the fact that he was ignoring her calls and messages worried her. What if he’d decided to relocate permanently, cutting all ties with her and his family? How would she let him know about their child?

  “But that doesn’t put your mind at ease, does it?”

  “There’s a little more to it…” Eve thought it was time for her to share the news with her mother. “Alex and I are going to have a baby.”

  Jane smiled broadly, reaching out to hold Eve’s hand. “That’s wonderful news. I’m so happy for you.”

  “You don’t seem too surprised.”

  “Your bathroom is right next to mine. I know you haven’t been feeling well for a while. Does Alex know about the baby?”

  “No, I’d just found out the last time he visited.” Just thinking about their exchange that day made Eve cringe. He couldn’t have been more emphatic about the fact he wasn’t ready for a baby, so she hadn’t shared the news with him. “He’d come to tell me the divorce was a done deal. It just didn’t seem like the right time to tell him.”

  “Are you worried he won’t be happy about it?”

  “He made it pretty clear how he felt about becoming a daddy. I don’t think he’s ready.”

  Jane’s green eyes hardened in a rare show of displeasure. “That’s too bad. This baby is already on its way, so he’s going to have to get used to the idea. Fast.”

  Eve squeezed her mother’s hand, grateful for her support. Aunt Sharon would have responded the same way, and Eve was reminded that even though God had taken her beloved aunt away, he’d given her mother back. “Not being able to tell him about the baby is killing me. Now that I know for sure that I’m pregnant, I need for him to know too.”

  “Don’t worry,” Jane said. “I have a feeling you’ll be able to tell him soon enough.”

  ***

  Alex was getting a low battery warning on his cell phone. He’d come into town to pick up a few supplies, and he knew he should call home and let them know he was still alive. Though he’d only planned on spending a week at the cabin, two weeks had passed since Jim gave him the key, and he wasn’t ready to leave anytime soon. He was enjoying the solitude and the friendly people in the local restaurants and stores. He imagined the day would come when he would make Jim an offer on the cabin that he couldn’t refuse. That would involve a bank transfer though, and he wasn’t ready to let the world know where to find him. Maybe just one person…

  He put the two bags of groceries into the storage compartment on his motorcycle and straddled the seat before punching in the second number on his directory. Eve would always be first. “Hey, man, what’s up?”

  “Jesus, where the hell are you?” James shouted. “We’ve been going crazy trying to find you!”

  “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I needed to get away for a while, sort some things out.”

  “Yeah, your mother told me she sold the company. I’m sorry.”

  It didn’t hurt as much as it had the day he’d found out about the sale. Every day helped to paint the picture of what his life without Bolton Industries might look like. “It’s okay. I just wanted to let you know I was okay. Pass the message on for me, will you?”

  “When are you coming home?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know if I’m coming home.” He wasn’t trying to punish anyone, but he liked the way his new life felt. He didn’t want to go back to endless travel and stuffy board rooms. He felt free, and he liked it.

  “What are you talking about? Don’t say shit like that. You have to come home.”

  “Why? What’s there for me now that Eve’s gone?” Just saying her name reminded him of everything he’d lost, but a place they hadn’t shared, a town she’d never visited, almost made him believe time would eventually heal his broken heart. Maybe one day she would be a wonderful memory of the greatest love of his life instead of a bitter reminder of all the mistakes he’d made.

  “I’m here, Ani’s here, our kids are here, your family’s here. Come on, buddy, this is your home. You know that.”

  “No, I don’t. It honestly doesn’t feel that way anymore. Listen, my cell’s about to die. I gotta go. Give Ani and the kids a kiss for me, okay? I don’t want you to worry. I’m good. In fact, I’m better than I have been in a long time.”


  “Wait, before you go… Eve’s been trying to reach you.”

  “Yeah, I know.” His mother had probably put her up to calling him, so he’d ignored her calls, just like all the rest. “Tell her I’m okay, will ya?”

  “You need to tell her yourself. She really wants to talk to you.”

  “I don’t want to go there, man. I’m starting to feel good again. Talking to Eve would just bring me down.” As much as he loved her, he had to get used to life without her, and he couldn’t do that if they maintained contact.

  “How can you say that? This is Eve we’re talking about. A few weeks ago, you were making yourself crazy trying to figure out how to hold on to her. Now you’re telling me that you’re over her? I don’t buy it.”

  “Look, I let go of her the day I signed the divorce papers. It’s over. We both need to make our peace with that.”

  ***

  Eve practically lunged for the phone when James’s name appeared on her call display. “James. Have you heard from him?”

  “Yeah, just a few minute ago.”

  Eve sank down in the swivel chair in her office, sighing with relief. “Thank God. How did he sound? Is he okay? Did he mention me?” She was rambling, but she couldn’t help it. She felt as though she’d been waiting forever to hear that Alex had made contact with someone. She couldn’t deny she wished it had been her, but she was too grateful he’d reached out to split hairs.

  “He sounded good. Really good.”

  She didn’t know how to take that. She was miserable without him, and he was happy? “He told you that?”

  “Yeah, he did.”

  “And you believed him?”

  James hesitated. “Yeah, I did. He sounded better than he has in a long time. More at peace.”

  “What the hell does that even mean?” she asked, dropping her forehead onto her palm.

 

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