by B C Schiller
Suddenly there were voices in the path lab, and the light flickered on. Two nurses quickly approached.
‘Someone’s forgotten to close that door over there,’ one of them said.
Olivia held her breath, looking around the room in panic. There was no way she could hide between the aisles. Then she saw a set of shelves not quite tight to the wall, and quickly pressed herself into the gap. Her elbow nudged a box and it slid off the shelf before crashing to the floor.
‘What was that?’ It was a different voice.
‘Probably a mouse or a rat,’ her colleague said.
‘I’d better check everything’s OK in there.’
Olivia made herself as flat as possible, trying to squeeze herself further in behind the shelves. There was a dry click, and suddenly the archive was bathed in a harsh neon light.
‘Hello?’ the man called.
There was a rustling under a shelf, and a tiny mouse shot across Olivia’s trainer.
‘Mice in here,’ the man informed his colleague. ‘We’ll have to report it.’
‘Come back. What’s in there has nothing to do with us – it’s for the medics only. Just help me get these two bodies back to the morgue,’ the other one said.
Olivia’s heart was racing with relief as the two nurses disappeared. Slowly she slid from the gap back into the aisle and sat down, then collected the files that had spilled out of the box as it fell.
A name jumped out at her from the front of a file: Lisa Manz. Quickly she opened the folder and found notes about Lisa’s stay at the clinic. She’d been in therapy with several different doctors to start with, but then only with one: Nils Wagner. The notes ended in the middle of a session, as if the following pages had been taken out. Quickly Olivia shoved the folder into her rucksack and got up.
She crept through the path lab and up the stairs. Just as she was scurrying across the empty foyer, the doors of the lift opened and a man in a white coat came out. He was looking at some notes on a clipboard so didn’t notice her at first, but then he raised his head and smiled.
‘Doctor Hofmann, what are you doing here at this time of night?’ It was Simon Berger, a junior doctor, who was probably on nightshift. Many thoughts whirled through Olivia’s head as she pretended she hadn’t heard him.
‘Doctor Hofmann, you surely haven’t been seeing a patient at this late hour?’ Simon repeated his question.
‘No, I was looking for something,’ Olivia said and took the rucksack from her shoulder. She opened it and pulled out the photo she’d found.
‘My father wanted to see this photo. He’s lost in his memories,’ she said, holding it up for Simon’s inspection.
‘Sorry, I had to ask as I’m responsible for the whole ward tonight.’
‘I understand.’ Olivia smiled and put the photo back.
‘I’m sorry about your father, by the way,’ Simon said.
‘Thank you.’ Of course, everyone at the clinic knew about her father’s illness.
Simon took a step towards her and looked at her with curiosity. ‘You’re all dusty, Doctor Hofmann!’
‘Oh dear. I cleaned my father’s flat earlier, that’s why. It was then that he remembered this photo. He wanted it straight away.’
‘Well, patients can sometimes be like dictators,’ Simon said. His pager beeped, and he shrugged his shoulders.
‘Have to go. There’s a crisis on the secure ward. Maybe we can talk more another time,’ he said and ran off through the foyer.
Narrow escape, Olivia thought once she was back on her bike. She could hardly wait to go through Lisa Manz’s file.
17
LISA’S DIARY
The red rucksack is the only thing I have left. I bought it from a nice-looking boy in a vintage shop. Mama hates second-hand things and wanted to throw it out, but I wouldn’t let her.
‘Peace and quiet at last,’ she sighs, pressing her script to her chest. She’s no good at learning her lines any more, but I can’t tell her that. ‘You’re going back to the clinic,’ she says. ‘It’s better for you and better for us.’
‘Papa wants it?’ I say, and wish she’d take me in her arms, but instead Mama turns her back on me and steps in front of the large mirror.
‘Come here, my baby,’ she says suddenly, looking at herself in the mirror. ‘Don’t we look like sisters?’ I go and stand next to her. ‘Two beautiful blonde fairies,’ she sighs theatrically.
‘I don’t want a sister but a mother who will help me. Do you know what happened to me when I went to the clinic last time?’
‘I don’t want to hear anything about it.’ Mama puts her hands over her ears and takes a step back.
‘Oh, Mama, why can’t I stay with you?’ I’m struggling to hold back my tears.
‘That’s not possible. When I was fourteen, I was nothing like you.’ Mama walks even further away from me. ‘I always wanted to become an actress and be a star.’
‘But then you married Papa, and you never had your career,’ I say.
‘You have no idea.’ Mama sounds offended. ‘And you have no right to criticise my life.’
‘But you’re unhappy – that’s why you drink so much. Maybe your parents were happy together and cared for you,’ I say. I’m getting upset. I can sense that I’ll lose control again soon.
‘But you have everything here.’ Mama looks around our large family home. ‘You have designer clothes, a horse and the most expensive mountain bike money can buy. Despite all of this you’re obnoxious and ungrateful.’
‘I want a family.’ My voice is shaking now. ‘I don’t give a shit about money and all that stuff. This rucksack is the only thing that means anything to me.’
‘Don’t talk such rubbish. That disgusting rucksack is just like your head.’ She taps her finger on her temple. ‘Inside, everything is all filthy and confused.’
‘Mama, I don’t want to go to the clinic,’ I whisper and begin to sob. I know that Mama hates tears, but I can’t help myself.
‘You attacked your riding instructor. That’s not normal. You need treatment, Lisa.’ She shakes her head in resignation. ‘Apart from that, you know the doctor. He looks after you very well.’
‘But I’m afraid of the clinic because I know the doctor.’
A car draws up outside and a short time later the doctor enters the front room. I turn to the wall, because I don’t want to see him.
‘You’ve been very naughty, Lisa,’ I hear him say behind me. ‘A young lady of breeding doesn’t attack her riding instructor.’ How I hate this man’s ingratiating voice. He really is the big bad wolf.
‘Good of you to come. We’re at the end of our tether with her,’ Mama says. ‘Lisa’s things are in that awful rucksack.’ She leaves the room without even blowing me a kiss.
‘Mama?’ I call after her, but quietly.
She doesn’t turn around. For her, I am already gone.
In the car the doctor looks at me. ‘You’re in the best place with me, Lisa. Believe me.’ He puts his hand on my thigh. ‘If you behave yourself, you can soon leave the clinic again.’
Slowly his hand slides higher up my thigh. His fingers are icy, and a cold shudder goes right through me. I don’t want this to start again but I stay still, because I know that everything will be much worse if I resist him.
‘I’m so happy that you’re coming back with me,’ the doctor whispers, nearly inaudibly. He turns the car on the gravel drive. I can still open the door and run off, but where would I go? I have nobody. I’m all alone.
‘We’ll have a good time together,’ the doctor whispers.
I turn around desperately and look out of the back window. For a fleeting moment I think I see Mama waving to me from the bay window but it’s only Lucrezia, the Filipina maid, who now wipes her tears away with her apron. She’s the only person in this world who loves me. The house disappears very quickly and by the time we reach the gate it’s just a speck in the distance. I’m numb all over. I’m unbelievably sad. I want
to die.
18
The next morning Levi Kant sat in the office of his former boss, Helmut Klein. Klein had had him picked up and brought to headquarters as soon as Levi’s last lecture was over. Levi had a vague idea what this might be about, so he waited in silence for the man to speak.
‘Thank you for taking the time,’ Klein said, rubbing his hands as if he was cold.
‘I always have time for you,’ Levi answered.
Klein smiled awkwardly and placed his folded hands on the desk. ‘How is teaching going at the academy? I hear the students are mad about you. I always thought you were a born teacher.’
‘I like my work but you’ve not asked me here for small talk.’
‘You’re right,’ Klein said. ‘Reiter was being a good colleague when he kept you informed about the Lisa Manz case.’
‘Yes, it was very kind of him,’ Levi said. ‘After all, it was me who led the investigation at the time.’
‘Then you will certainly be very pleased that we can now finally close the case. The rucksack has been identified conclusively as belonging to her. We also found a photo of Lisa Manz in Jonathan’s flat, taken by him five years ago. The fingerprints on the rucksack have also been identified as belonging to Stade. And then there’s the handwritten confession.’
‘Have the experts confirmed that it is in Jonathan’s handwriting?’ Levi asked.
‘Well, it was written in capital letters so it can’t be confirmed one hundred per cent, but it doesn’t matter so much – it’s only a small link in the chain of evidence.’ Klein folded his hands behind his head and rocked on his office chair. ‘Another cold case solved,’ he said with relief, leaning forward again to adjust the silver photo frame on his desk. Levi knew the picture showed Klein’s two daughters.
‘The perpetrator has killed himself to avoid his rightful punishment. That’s regrettable, but also good for the taxpayer.’
‘Is that what you asked me here for?’ Levi said. ‘Reiter could have told me all that over the phone.’
‘There is one more thing,’ Klein continued. ‘The chief of police rang me. You visited the Manz family?’
‘Yes, I wanted to inform them that the rucksack had been found.’
‘Richard Manz has complained to Mayer about this.’
‘Why?’
‘His emotionally vulnerable wife had a breakdown and you are held responsible.’
‘I rather think he caused that himself.’
‘Now listen.’ Levi sensed that Klein was finding it difficult to hide his anger. His ex-boss rocked forward in his chair, his face darkening. ‘By pretending to be an inspector and harassing people, you’ve gone too far. If I don’t speak up for you, you’ll soon be in serious trouble.’
‘Has this got anything to do with the suicide? Because I have my doubts about him being Lisa’s murderer?’
‘There are no doubts,’ Klein insisted, leaning back with a heavy sigh. ‘My God, Levi, can’t you finally forget this case?’
‘Doctor Olivia Hofmann, the psychiatrist, also has her doubts about Stade’s suicide. She thinks he was pushed because she saw a shadow behind him at the window.’
‘And you believe that?’ Now his superior sounded as if he was talking to a little child.
‘Doctor Hofmann’s statement seemed very credible to me. What does Reiter reckon to it?’
‘Reiter thinks it’s purely a matter of self-preservation. This Doctor Hofmann is, after all, partly responsible for the death of her patient.’
‘She doesn’t appear to be displaying any guilt,’ Levi countered.
‘Is she good-looking?’ Klein asked abruptly.
‘What? Yes, she’s attractive. Why do you ask?’ Levi gave Klein a puzzled look and then, with some irritation, ran his fingers through his greying hair.
‘Because she’s obviously left an impression on you. A shadow, indeed. What nonsense!’ Klein muttered, scrunching a ball of paper to throw into the wastepaper basket. ‘As far as we’re concerned, the case is closed and will go to the prosecution service.’
Following the conversation with his former boss, Levi went back to his office in the police academy where he had a long conversation with two students who were applying for a bursary to the FBI academy in Quantico and needed his advice. When he saw the extensive application forms they had to fill in, he couldn’t help but admire their enthusiasm and persistence. After they left, his thoughts went back to Lisa Manz. Why couldn’t he let it go? Why did he have such a bad gut feeling about it all?
Lost in contemplation, he was startled when his mobile rang.
‘I went to the clinic last night,’ Olivia said immediately, not bothering with any preliminaries. ‘There really is a secret archive, like my father said.’
‘Did you find anything on Lisa Manz?’ Levi asked, straightening up in his chair. Olivia Hofmann’s energy was contagious.
‘Yes, I took her file home with me.’
‘Isn’t that against the rules?’ Levi said. And then he asked, ‘And did you find anything interesting? Do we have any evidence?’ The urgency in his tone was clear.
‘You just said we.’ Olivia’s voice sounded quite cheerful now. ‘Yes, there are notes about a twenty-four-hour experiment, but I need to take a closer look.’
‘Maybe it’ll throw some light on the case.’
‘Does that mean you and I are now trying to get to the bottom of these murders together?’
‘What do you mean, murders?’
‘We’re dealing with two murders here – or do you really believe that Jonathan Stade killed himself?’
‘If it wasn’t suicide, it was a very cleverly executed murder,’ Levi conceded.
All of a sudden, he felt years younger. This was his chance. An opportunity to give his life meaning again. His goal was to find justice – justice for Lisa Manz, justice for Jonathan Stade.
‘I’m due to give another lecture in a while. Can we meet tomorrow morning in Café Stein, close to your office? We can go through the file and develop a strategy.’
‘Thank you. You really are one cool guy,’ Olivia said happily.
Levi’s face broke into a smile. When was the last time Rebecca had called him a cool guy?
19
Olivia was pushing her bike across the car park when she heard a voice behind her.
‘So was your father happy with the photo?’ Simon Berger, the junior doctor, asked.
‘Photo? What photo?’ Olivia turned to give Simon a puzzled look.
‘The one with you, your father and Nils Wagner. The one you so urgently needed to pick up at the clinic last night?’ Simon tried to jog her memory.
‘Oh, that one. Yes, very much. He was very happy about it.’ Olivia gave him a fake smile, parked the bike and walked quickly towards the entrance. She was still excited after the phone conversation with Levi. The case was starting to move. With a professional by her side the dark secrets around the two dead people would soon be revealed.
‘I admire you,’ Simon said, struggling to keep up. ‘You have your private practice, work two days a week here at the clinic and you look after your sick father. That is truly admirable.’
‘Nothing special about it. I like my work. I can help people who don’t find life very easy and are marginalised in our society.’ Olivia waved to the nurse on reception – a different one from last night. While she was waiting for the lift, she continued, ‘Looking after my father is only natural. I can’t desert him. He didn’t desert me when I was having a bad time.’
They entered the lift together, both looking straight ahead, their figures multiplied to infinity in the mirrors all around them. Olivia noticed that Simon was watching her shyly. She in turn risked a quick glance at him. He was tall and slim with dark, curly hair and wore dark-framed glasses that made him look serious. Somehow he was also quite attractive. If she remembered correctly, Simon was about thirty years old, nearly ten years younger than her. Suddenly she felt herself blushing. What was she think
ing? Had the conversation with Levi excited her so much that she was projecting her enthusiasm in other directions? Well, whatever. She wasn’t an old woman yet.
But then she thought of Michael and Juli and her good mood drained away. No, she wasn’t in the slightest bit interested in a relationship. She didn’t want another man in her life. She was still trying to rebuild it from the fragments their departure had left behind. Levi, however, was different. Levi was an ex-policeman she was working with on a case. Levi was no more than a colleague. No, men had no place in her life any more.
Then suddenly their eyes met in the mirror, and both smiled involuntarily.
‘Are you seeing your father again tonight?’ Simon asked.
‘Why?’ Olivia said.
‘Well, they’re showing an interesting film at the Studio Cinema. I thought you might like . . .’ He didn’t finish the sentence.
‘I don’t know yet,’ Olivia said, avoiding a clear answer. No, she didn’t want to change her life, but then again, what was so wrong with going to see a film? It would distract her from her thoughts.
‘What time?’
‘I’ll send you a text. Give me your number.’
‘OK. See you later.’
The lift doors opened, and Olivia straightened her shoulders as she walked swiftly down the corridor. She could feel Simon’s eyes following her, but she didn’t turn around.
She sat down at her desk in the small office and put her head in her hands. Maybe it was time to begin to live normally again. She’d have to discuss this in her next supervision session with Ulf. He’d put her on the right track.
After staring into space for a while, she switched on the computer and searched the clinic’s intranet for more information about Lisa Manz. The new patient log had only been installed two years ago, however, so her search was in vain.
Olivia had little time for further investigation for the rest of the morning. The clinic was very busy, as always on the days around the full moon. Her last patient before lunch was an unemployed man who’d had a breakdown in a supermarket and smashed up the shelves. He’d appeared confused and the police had brought him here. To calm him down, the doctor on duty had given him a sedative. Now he was sitting numbly on a chair in one of the treatment rooms with a beautiful view of the park-like gardens of the clinic.
