by Grady, D. R.
It was the final straw. Trixi lowered her head and sobbed.
Chapter 42
After driving around for a while, trying to sort through his chaotic thoughts, Mark found himself pulling into Leo’s driveway. He was resigned to see Katy’s vehicle already there. This would be easier without Trixi’s best friend. He had hoped if Leo and Katy were together this evening they were at her house instead.
Fate couldn’t be so kind. He exited his car and took a deep breath before surging toward the door. His brother opened it before he got there.
“What are you doing here?”
“Thanks,” he answered, surliness hiding the fermenting hurt and pain.
Katy slipped around his brother and stared at Mark with an expression he wasn’t capable of reading. “You had a fight with Trixi.” It wasn’t a question.
Leo stepped out of the doorway and used the arm he hooked around Katy’s waist to move her with him. It was probably unnecessary though because they were so in-sync they moved as nearly one entity. His heart hurt again.
With that organ thumping painfully, Mark stepped into the house. The smells of dinner assaulted his olfactory senses, but his stomach sent up a definite protest. The very thought of food made him shudder.
“What’s going on?” Leo asked finally, after they stood there staring at each other for long moments.
“Let’s go into the family room.” Katy spun Leo so he could lead the way.
Mark had lived here long enough to know exactly where the room was, he didn’t need to follow them, but found himself trailing his brother mindlessly anyway. He couldn’t think through the thick haze his brain had become. This didn’t bode well for his future. Most of his patients expected his brain to work lightening fast and his hands to move with precision and accuracy.
“What happened?” Katy asked, after she placed a hand on Leo’s knee when he opened his mouth. They were seated together in the massive armchair Leo had instantly taken a liking to. Mark had fun teasing him when Leo purchased it, but now Leo and Katy fit together perfectly in the chair. Like it had been made for them.
His heart hurt again.
Stiltedly and with long pauses, Mark explained his conversation with Trixi in the parking lot. It took a long time to tell because there were still some questions as to what had actually happened. He stumbled over a few details, because he couldn’t believe the conversation had even occurred and he didn’t want to think about life without Trixi. Yet she had made it clear she didn’t want to be with him.
When he looked up, Katy’s wide eyes were only exceeded by her dropped jaw. He might even see a peek of her tonsils. Leo wasn’t as gape mouthed. Mark couldn’t see his tonsils because he knew for a fact Leo didn’t have them. They’d had them removed when Mark was in fourth grade and Leo in third.
“Are you out of your mind?” Katy not only managed to close her mouth, she also uttered the entire question in exasperated tones.
He didn’t need this. “Of course not.”
“You should have stopped after the first two words,” Leo advised. He stared at Mark in nearly identical tones as Katy.
Like both feared he’d lost his mind.
“What?” Had someone tampered with their neurotransmitters? He thought about the possibility for a moment. Maybe someone had tampered with his. Since the world as he knew it was different. Cold, hostile, and nothing made sense.
The pair snuggled together on Leo’s chair exchanged a glance, and they must have conducted an entire conversation because Katy nodded and leaned forward. “From what you just told us, Trixi was not interested in breaking up.”
His heart stopped shattering. “What?”
“You took her actions and words as she wanted to break off your relationship. I’ve known her for twelve, fourteen, or something years,” Katy waved the time span away, “and this is not how she works. She doesn’t give up on people this quickly.” She leveled a look at him that curled his toes—in a bad way—and then continued.
He remembered this woman was as adept with a scalpel as him.
“Trixi did not break up with you. You broke up with her.”
When he opened his mouth to vehemently protest, Katy and Leo both help up hands to forestall him. This time Leo leveled him with a look. “I’ve known you my entire life. You broke this off because you’re running scared.”
Mark decided there was nothing worse than a know-it-all, unless said know-it-all had a perky, violet eyed counterpart seated right beside him, nodding her blonde head in complete agreement with him.
She leaned forward now and said succinctly, “You’re running scared because one, you’re afraid it’s not going to last, and two because your relationship is working well and you’re terrified of where it’s going because it’s moving so fast.”
Katy didn’t give him time to refute. Instead she continued, more in depth this time. “You haven’t had time to process all that’s happened. Things are going super well because you’re head over heels in love with Trixi, and you don’t like having someone in your life who holds such power.”
He started to shake his head, but Leo set blazing blue-green eyes on him. “Don’t you shake your head at her. This is how you’ve always been. You never get involved.”
Mark swallowed because this pair, when they got going, were not nice people. Even if what they said held a small grain of truth. He had used his busy school life as an excuse not to get involved with the opposite sex, then the myriad fellowships. When sliced open, it was true he didn’t usually get attached. Love made him mighty uncomfortable.
This conversation made him mighty uncomfortable.
“The blame isn’t entirely yours.” Katy mused from her snug haven against Leo.
This was news to him. He figured they’d next pin world hunger on him.
“No, Trixi isn’t any more used to relationships than you are.” Katy’s violet eyes were unblinking on his. She held her ground, her jaw set as she took his measure. “Trixi doesn’t feel like she’s good enough. She never has. I’m sure from the start she’s been certain you were going to leave because she’s never measured up.”
His brain blanked. Like a colleague had nimbly sliced all the connective tissue and nerves and neatly plucked the organ right out of his skull. It was a strange sensation, being brainless like this.
Numbness crept in as he gazed at Katy. Her expression slid from determined to concerned. She glanced at Leo. His brother gawked at him like he had morphed into a bad science project.
The strange stupor coursed through his body and his limbs turned heavy and wearisome. He wanted to lay his head down and dream about nothing. The very thought of Trixi not being good enough was the silliest, most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. She was worth ten of him.
“She’s...” His brain remained blank.
“What’s wrong with him?” Katy asked Leo in a worried voice.
“I have no idea.” Leo launched out of his massive chair and stepped close to Mark. “You okay?”
Mark shook his head. It hurt. Should it hurt if his brain wasn’t there?
“I think he needs some time,” Leo said quietly.
Then, it all came rushing back, the hurt, pain, betrayal, the sense of complete loss he’d felt in the parking lot when he realized they were finished.
“Trixi,” he whispered, and shut his eyes, not able to bear seeing the happy couple in front of him. The ironically happy couple who didn’t even know they were dating.
Yet he and Trixi were done because they were afraid.
Katy wriggled between him and Leo and tugged his arm, hard. “Mark, Trixi is hurting at least as much as you are, but she won’t seek us to help her. She doesn’t feel like she deserves to be happy.” Katy paused and solemnly met his eyes. “Is that true?”
“No,” the word burst from him in an agonized vibrato.
They deserved to make their relationship count. To make it worthwhile because it was important to both of them.
The m
ain problem was he had no idea how.
Chapter 43
What is that smell?
Agony stabbed to her very being and made Trixi want to burrow in somewhere safe and forget all about her problems. Only she caught another whiff of the alarming, acrid scent and this time she lifted her head and took a deliberate breath.
It was smoke.
Panic crawled up her throat as she leaped to her feet and raced down the hallway. The haze grew heavier as she neared the guest wing of her house. By the time she opened the door to Mark’s quarters, thick clouds billowed out with the all too familiar roar of flames.
Coughing, she dug for her phone and quickly called 911. The crackle and snap of the blaze as it tore along the wall was heart stopping. Her breath suspended while bile sloshed as more of the flames beat against the house, and her house lost.
The emergency dispatcher shouted at her to get out of the house, and amid coughing fits, Trixi finally comprehended the woman’s command. She retreated to the kitchen and then through the mudroom where she had the presence of mind to grab her coat. Wrenching open the door she bolted outside and ran around to stare at the hungry beast consuming the guest wing.
Overhead the sky rumbled and cracked and then it opened. The ensuing deluge doused a good bit of the hungry monster intent on devouring her house before the fire trucks arrived. What was taking them so long?
The first one screamed up the driveway, sirens blaring, lights flashing in the darkness. They blinded her as whiffs of smoke rose to choke her. Still coughing, Trixi stood, transfixed as they drove around the garage, and with a screech, braked in front of her. With shouts, a lot of activity, and huge spouts of water later, they killed the last of the fire threatening that wing.
Without Mother Nature’s intervention, she might have lost the entire wing, if not the house. For the first time in her life, Trixi was grateful to be standing in a chilling downpour. Tufts of smoky air wafted up to her, encasing her and her lungs kept spasming, making breathing difficult.
Additional coughing fits didn’t clear her lungs. A determined paramedic, who had sped up her driveway after the firefighters, led her to the ambulance. He fitted her with oxygen, but she barely noticed his ministrations. Numbness encased her in a welcoming cocoon.
A litany kept scrolling through her mind. Someone had tried to burn her house down. Again. She tugged her phone out and called the one person she knew would come to her.
“Daddy? My house is on fire,” she said in a smoke roughened voice, lips trembling.
“Are you okay?” She heard a lot of commotion on the other end and then the distinctive sound of a garage door opening. There was someone with him, a female, in the background.
“Yes,” she lied, wondering what okay entailed. Okay wasn’t her, because her whole world had shattered tonight. They ended the call after he assured her he’d be with her in minutes.
When she looked up, Lauren was at her side and immediately refitted the oxygen mask. “I saw the fire start just as I pulled in so I called the rescue squad.” Lauren shivered in her raincoat. The wind grabbed her curls and tussled them.
Trixi was happy her fellow nurse had taken up residence in the carriage house, and that she was home this evening.
“Thank you.” Trixi wheezed, the oxygen flow not sufficient for her still smoky lungs. Lauren adjusted the level, and Trixi heard her answer the paramedic. He seemed satisfied when he heard Lauren was a nurse and lived on the property.
From what she could tell, Lauren answered the fire chief’s questions with ease. In fact, she seemed happy to do so. Trixi finally noticed he was attractive. Her hormones yawned and then she started wheezing again.
Not her shining moment, for certain.
Fresh tears welled and Trixi wondered if she had any liquid left after her sob session. The fire chief asked her some questions, of which she thought she answered, but she couldn’t tell if he was satisfied or not. Maybe Lauren could comfort him if not.
Her father barreled up the drive and exited the vehicle in what seemed like all one action. He grabbed her in a death grip and offered up information she couldn’t process to the fire chief. Nina encased her from behind, making soothing, strangely comforting noises. The woman should have been a nurse.
The rest of the terrible evening passed in an array of strobe lights, undulating colors, blurry images, questions, and smoke clouds intent on barbecuing her lungs.
A sense of unreality threatened to overwhelm her. Her dad and Nina’s arms were comforting but she didn’t know what had happened and what she was supposed to do. Her entire world had been shaken like an injectable med. Katy eventually replaced her dad and Nina. Then Katy passed her to Leo who squeezed her and then passed her on to... Mark.
His arms were so tight she couldn’t breathe. Tears welled again, and when she caught sight of his implacable face, her heart faltered and clenched. Why was he here? Hadn’t she endured enough tonight?
Truthfully, she felt safest in his arms though. When the police and fire chief came around to ask her additional questions, she thought maybe her answers made more sense. It was wonderful to be here again, in his arms while the rain and wind slashed at them.
Mark’s grip didn’t lessen much and he kept her in his personal space the entire time. She thought maybe he was trembling and this made him seem human to her. Definitely, she was human. The sense of unreality didn’t alter a bit when Uncle Johnny drove up fast with Miriam and Gran. They exited the car and all of them hugged her, hampered by Mark’s unwillingness to let her go. So the hugs were awkward, but doable.
“What happened?” Katy was wide-eyed and a little terrified in the flashing lights and glare from the spotlight the firefighters used. Smoke continued to puff out of the crumbling wing while the continuing downpour made the embers hiss. It was reassuring to see the embers sizzle and then completely die.
The firefighters hit them with several streams of water from their massive hoses and then before she was ready, everyone around them piled back into their vehicles and disappeared down the driveway. The feeling of déjà vu added another overwhelming element to the evening.
She wasn’t ready to see them go. Now she had to face reality and she didn’t want to. Part of her house, like her life, lay in ruins that were no longer smoking but lay black and dead looking in the falling rain.
Not surprisingly there was a chorus of, “Trixi, you need to come home with me,” from her father, Miriam and Johnny, Lauren, and Katy. She thanked all of them, but straightened her spine. This was her mess.
“Thank you for your offers. But I have a perfectly good guesthouse, and I need to be here to make certain the fire doesn’t rekindle.”
Katy after a quick conference with Leo, elected to stay with her, but her father overrode them. He decreed he would stay and no one argued. Trixi was thankful. Her father would know what to do better than her.
Mark very reluctantly agreed to return home with Leo.
Gran decided to leave with Johnny and Miriam since Rylan planned to stay. They were allowed back into the house long enough to grab the essentials. Trixi took the time to pack food. The lethargy wore off and weariness crept into its place.
She couldn’t give in to it just yet because she needed to launder the clothes she took from her bedroom. Although not close to the guest wing, smoke had infiltrated most of the house. With a heavy heart, she located the key to the guest cottage, handed the box of food to her father, and then led the way. Everyone helped set up the furniture from the storage closet before they left after a series of hugs. Leo and company offered to take Nina home. She accepted.
Trixi was thankful Mark hadn’t managed to rent this cottage out yet. Otherwise, Lauren would have had a roommate for the night. She still might, if the damage to the house was extensive. Gran was safe with Miriam and she could return to her old home with her son for an extended stay if necessary. Trixi, as the owner of this house, needed to remain nearby.
Wondering what they would find
after they conducted a thorough investigation, she was also afraid of the outcome. Someone had gone too far tonight. She thought the man responsible for their earlier troubles was still behind bars. He had no proof Chrissy had hired him to harass Trixi, but they did have proof he had been doing the harassing, as five credible witnesses caught him in the act. Since he was on probation at the time, he remained incarcerated.
Trixi followed her father into the kitchen. He tucked the food away as she plodded into the laundry room. She stuffed all of her clothes inside the washer, not bothering to sort them, then started the machine.
“Why don’t you go shower, baby?” Her dad stood in the doorway, in companionship with her, offering his support but not pushing her in any way.
Thankful for him, she nodded. “Okay.” She walked into his arms. “Thank you for staying with me.”
“You’re welcome. Are you sure you’re all right?” There was a heavy dose of worry in his voice.
“I need to shower and finish this laundry so I have clean clothes for work tomorrow.” Since she didn’t know the answer to his question, she instead told him what she did know.
As he had when she was little, he brushed the smoky hair off her face and then leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “You need some sleep.”
“I’ll go shower.”
“Did you eat?”
Trixi made a noncommittal noise because she couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, so she flashed him a fake smile then padded upstairs to shower off the smoke and ash still clinging to her. She tucked her smoke-ridden clothing into a bag and when her dad knocked, handed them out to him. He promised to add them to the current load and she thanked him profusely.
Then she set about showering. The smoke and ash dissipated with her efforts, but she doubted the rest of the nightmare could be washed away so easily.
She longed to crawl under the covers and forget all about today.
