by Joyce Alec
“Let us skip the formalities. Why are you here, Lord Malmesbury?”
“Why did you run off to London?”
Lizzie narrowed her eyes. “I do not need an excuse to travel, and please do not be so presumptuous.”
“I am not an arrogant man.”
“But you expect me to fall into line as soon as you snap your fingers. That is not going to happen. You are perfectly aware that I am the daughter of a duke. You are wasting your time. I do not wish to be courted by you.”
“I would like to know why.”
Lizzie offered him a cool smile. “My choices are not your concern.”
Matthew smiled. “Then I should like to inform you that I plan to pursue you until you either give me a reason not to or you say yes.”
Lizzie studied him and cocked her head. “You flatter yourself. I have never seen a more arrogant man in my entire life. That is not an attractive trait, Lord Malmesbury.”
It seemed to Lizzie that Matthew was incredibly patient with her, and that made her blood boil. He was making this into a game she did not wish to play. More than anything, she wanted to keep her dark secret close. She couldn’t let him see how vulnerable she was feeling. He was everything she had dreamed about.
“Your voice is sweet; your smile is charming, and yet, your words drip venom. Your eyes tell me that you would like nothing more than to throw me under the first carriage you see.”
“You have a very active imagination.”
“So, I have been told.”
“One again I will inquire, why are you here?” Lizzie demanded.
Matthew chuckled. “My sister, Lady Katherine, has expressed a desire to meet you. Of course, I told her that you dislike people in general. However, she insisted.”
“How very kind of you to speak on my behalf, but I can very well speak for myself.”
Matthew smiled. “Well then, we will expect you for tea tomorrow at my estate.” Bowing before she could refuse, he exited and called out, “I will send a carriage just to be safe.”
Stunned for a few minutes, Lizzie sank back into the cushions of the sofa and scowled. What was wrong with that man? She did not want to meet his sister. She did not want to meet his family. She did not want to build up her hopes and watch them razed to the ground again.
Eyes lonely, she looked outside at the carriage waiting outside and wondered how it would feel to let herself love someone and be loved in return. Her eyes burned, and she wiped them to prevent the tears from coming. She was not a child and she couldn’t afford to behave like one.
“I apologize! I forgot my—”
Matthew rushed back into the room, took one look at Lizzie’s helpless face and felt an immediate need to care for her. “Lady Elizabeth, are you unwell?”
He walked towards her and he saw the panic replace the desolate look on her face, as she took a step back. “I am quite well, thank you.”
“May I fetch some water for you?” asked Matthew. “You have lost all of your magnificent color, and it looks as if you are about to faint.”
“Thank you for concern, but I must insist that you leave.” Lizzie eluded Matthew’s intense gaze and avoided all eye contact.
Not wanting to intrude, and yet wanting to know why she had looked as if her heart was breaking, he decided to leave her alone. As he exited, he looked back and saw her fall onto the couch, as if exhausted.
He was determined to find out her secret. He couldn’t imagine Lady Elizabeth capable of something so terrible that would change his feelings for her. He wanted her. He would have her.
6
The next afternoon, Lizzie went against her better judgment and accepted Lord Malmesbury’s offer. She was quite interested in seeing him one more time, although she was sure it would be the last time. For one afternoon, she would pretend she was just like any other woman visiting the home of a man she was falling in love with.
Matthew’s estate was stunning. The garden and the woods seemed to never end. She dreamed of losing herself in the beauty of the grounds, while allowing the cool air to kiss her cheek as though it was welcoming her home. Her heart was near bursting with anguish. The grounds of Matthew’s estate could only be described as calming and wild like her emotions. Being lost in nature gave her the freedom of taking off her mask. The trees, flowers and earth accepted her just as she was.
Matthew observed Lizzie surrounded by the flowers and newly trimmed hedges. There had never been a more beautiful sight. Her features were delicate when her muscles weren’t tense from pushing people away. The color in her cheeks matched the pale pink roses and her hair glistened like the morning sun. A slight smile lit up her face, and for the first time, Matthew knew he loved Lizzie. His pursuit was no longer just a game. She had stolen his heart.
Lizzie’s gaze shifted as she realized that she was being watched. Her jaw tensed and the carefree girl who had been there moments earlier had disappeared. A tight-lipped smile appeared on Lizzie’s face. Matthew approached Lizzie and her formal speech seemed cold. Matthew longed for the real Lizzie.
Matthew led her indoors and was ready to start the official tour. The inside of the estate was just as impeccable as the grounds. His hand brushed against her arm and he was taken aback by the strong emotion that had taken over his whole being. He felt a connection to Lizzie and wondered if she felt anything at all.
A statue of Mary and Jesus caught Lizzie’s attention and she looked at it, quite entranced. “This is a lovely piece of work,” she commented when she heard footsteps.
A feminine voice said, “My late grandfather commissioned it. It is one of our family’s most prized treasures.”
Lizzie turned around to greet the owner of the voice. A young woman, who resembled Matthew to a startling extent, stood behind Lizzie.
Matthew was quick to make introductions. “Lady Elizabeth, may I introduce you to my dear sister, Lady Katherine.”
“You are more beautiful than my brother described. I am so glad you joined us at such short notice. My brother said you might not join us because you were unwell, but I knew you would come. Matthew, I will guide the tour from this point forward.”
Matthew had been dismissed, so he allowed Katherine to spend some alone time with their guest. Lizzie looked back and offered a sincere smile to Matthew.
Katherine linked arms with Lizzie as if they had been childhood friends. Lizzie’s heart warmed to Katherine. She was so kind and outgoing, everything that Lizzie was not.
As Katherine led them into the drawing room, Lizzie asked, “Will we be joined by others?”
“My mother will be joining us shortly. We received word that her train was late. I know she will be so disappointed that she wasn’t able to welcome you upon your arrival.”
Lizzie saw another painting that caught her eye and walked over to it to get a closer look. Katherine followed.
“Lady Elizabeth, it seems my brother is rather smitten with you,” she said, her eyes dancing with merriment.
Lizzie was quick to respond. “I do not see why when I have made my position so very clear to him.”
Her hostess smiled indulgently. “Please be gentle when you break his heart.”
Lizzie just smiled.
Katherine proceeded. “I hear he made you run away to London.”
“What a ridiculous notion. My trip to London had been planned for weeks. It is amusing that he imagines I think so much of him to run away.”
Her hostess laughed. Lizzie’s attitude softened as the two women discussed art, their travels, and acquaintances they had in common. Lizzie enjoyed Katherine’s company and wished they could be friends.
Lizzie wished the afternoon would end so she could retreat to the comfort of her nearly empty townhouse. The butler then announced the arrival of Lady Malmesbury.
“Mama!” Matthew went to greet her. “I would like to introduce you to Lady Elizabeth Ellis. Lizzie greeted Lady Malmesbury and they all took their places at the table for tea.
“How
was our cousin, Lord Livingston? Was the whole business sorted out?” questioned Matthew.
The name struck Lizzie cold. It was as if the name brought her back to the night that ruined her life.
Lady Malmesbury said, “It was such an awful affair, I must say. Cousin Livingston did get himself into quite the predicament.”
By way of explanation, Lady Katherine offered, “Our cousin, Lord Livingston, got engaged. His fiancée found out that he had been previously married. There was quite a big to-do.”
“I see,” Lizzie murmured, faintly, “How terrible.”
Lady Malmesbury snorted. “It is unchristian, is what it is. The poor man was forced into marriage by a social climber. She left him when she realized that his inheritance wasn’t quite as lucrative as she believed.” She fanned herself, expressing her shock at the situation. “I shouldn’t even be talking about it.”
“How do you know that the woman was at fault?” asked Lizzie, quietly. She knew that she needed to keep her thoughts to herself. This was just the type of gossip she had been worried about.
Lady Malmesbury looked horrified that Lizzie was questioning the trustworthiness of her relation. “Of course my cousin’s account is correct. He told us all about it. He was heartbroken that a woman would take advantage of his love and his family. There is no denying that this woman was just in it for the money. She must have already chosen her next target.”
Lizzie paled, and the whole table noticed.
“Lady Elizabeth, are you all right?” questioned Katherine.
Matthew jumped to his feet and took the tea from her, setting it aside. Her hand was trembling and she murmured, “I feel unwell. I would like to go home”
“Nonsense. You will stay here in one of the guest bedrooms. You must not travel if you are feeling ill,” Katherine spoke, looking upset.
“No! I must return to my own home. I cannot stay here.” Lizzie gained her composure. “Thank you for your kind offer, but I must leave immediately.”
Matthew helped her stand and her skin felt so cold to the touch that it took him by surprise. “Lady Elizabeth, everything aside, please rest here. I will call for the doctor.”
Matthew cupped Lizzie’s hands into his own and kissed them. He knew that he shouldn’t be so forward, but his genuine desire to help her overcame the formal rules of society. Lizzie gazed up at Matthew and he saw the bleakness in her eyes and the raw pain.
Her voice was hoarse as she spoke, “I thank you, but no. I would like to go home and rest. My maid will care for me.”
Matthew watched helplessly as he saw the carriage leave.
“What an odd woman,” Lady Malmesbury commented as they all moved to the drawing room. “With a duke for a father, I do believe she would have better manners. How could she possibly imply that my cousin could treat a woman with disrespect?”
“To be fair, Mama, Lady Elizabeth did not say Lord Livingston was to blame. She just asked how we knew it was the girl’s fault,” Katherine interceded as she handed her mother her tea.
Matthew was silent. He knew there was truth behind Lizzie’s accusations.
7
“M’lady, will you be getting out of bed?” questioned Lizzie’s maid.
Lizzie stared at the ceiling. She had barely slept for the past four days and couldn’t remember the last time she ate. All the secrets she had tried to hide away had come spiraling back. She had always known her past could never be kept a secret. She could not run away anymore. What was the point? The future was bleak and she was sure she’d live out her life as a disgraced spinster.
“Lord Malmesbury called again yesterday, m’lady. He seemed quite upset.”
“I see,” answered Lizzie, in a daze. She wasn’t listening to what the maid was saying, but it seemed she was waiting for a response.
Loud noises and arguing coming from downstairs startled Lizzie. The maid rushed out of the room to check on the commotion. Within moments, Lizzie heard loud shouting coming her way. Struggling to sit up, she was astonished when a familiar, burly looking man threw her door open.
Her voice a croak, she mumbled, “Papa.”
Her father took in her wane complexion, dead eyes, and the bags under them and he moved towards her, pulling her into a hug. Holding her close, he spoke in her hair, “My darling, are you all right? Why are you in such a state?”
She tried to speak but the familiar warmth which surrounded her, broke her out of her shock, and then the tears would not stop. As she sobbed and let herself break in the safety of her father’s arms, the maid moved about the room, pushing apart the curtains and opening the windows to let in some light before heading out to the kitchen.
Now that her father had arrived, Lizzie found the strength to eat. Her father demanded food be brought up immediately. Listening to Lizzie’s account of Lady Malmesbury’s accusations, the duke continued to stroke his daughter’s hair and reassure her that the world was not all evil. Father and daughter prayed together, which brought Lizzie peace.
Outside, Matthew frowned at the presence of another carriage. After calling on Lizzie for many days, he was determined to see her. Hearing sounds, he moved towards the gardens and then he heard the raw, unrestrained sobbing which was undoubtedly Lady Elizabeth’s. He was about to rush inside, when he heard another voice, a male voice which was soothing.
Matthew rang the bell and the butler appeared.
“My lord, Lady Elizabeth is unwell and is unavailable today.”
Clenching his teeth, Matthew wouldn’t be refused one more time. “She is inside and I will see her. Tell Lady Elizabeth that I will not leave until I have seen her.”
He pushed past the butler, walked towards the drawing room and paced, angrily. Nothing was making sense. He had learned the disgraceful woman who had married his cousin had been none other than Lady Elizabeth. Matthew couldn’t accept his mother’s side of the story. He just had to know what transpired. He didn’t care. He knew Lizzie was holding a dark secret and was sure of her innocence.
As Matthew waited in the drawing room, he heard a murmur of voices followed by a male voice shouting. Matthew stood up ready to fight when the Duke of Wellington walked in, his face red with anger.
“What is the meaning of this, Lord Malmesbury? My daughter is unwell. She will not be pandering out of bed just to see what you want.”
“Your Grace, I did not mean to intrude.”
The duke ignored his words. “Are you the reason she is in this state? You had better not be.”
“Papa!” Dressed haphazard, Elizabeth’s appearance rocked Matthew to the core. She looked terrible.
“Lady Elizabeth,” stammered Matthew, “I couldn’t bear the thought of you being here alone. I did not realize you were being cared for by your father. I will see myself out. I do apologize.”
She was gripping the doorway for support, and she had no pallor. Her legs were trembling and her eyes looked haunted, “I – I apologize for my father’s outburst, but it is best that you leave. Please understand we will not be able to see each other again. Although it pains my heart, this must be our final farewell.”
The duke glared at Matthew as he wrapped his arms around his daughter, giving her the strength to stand. “Thank you for your concern, Lord Malmesbury. I will see that she is well cared for.”
Matthew stared at their retreating backs. The maid stood there quietly, waiting to see him out.
“Is she sick?” he asked, not quite expecting an answer.
The maid shook her head. “Ever since she returned from your estate, she has been like this. We do not know what is wrong with her. She has refused to see a doctor.”
Matthew could see the maid was not going to reveal anything else and he could see the accusation in her eyes. The woman blamed him for the health of her mistress.
Matthew left.
It was a few days before he received a letter from Lady Elizabeth, asking to see him. He was shocked and pleasantly surprised, especially since she had wished him
a final farewell.
When he arrived, she was resting on a chair, reading a book. She looked better, albeit tired.
“How are you feeling?” asked Matthew as he took a seat next to her.
She smiled, but there was no life in that smile. “I am better.”
Matthew waited patiently. This was her opportunity to say anything she wished and he did not wish to rush her.
She was quiet for a few moments before saying, “You asked me for a reason why we can never be together. Let me give you one now. I am leaving for America in one month and I will not be returning.”
Her face was calm, and as he looked at her, Matthew realized he could not let this happen. “Leaving? Why? Your whole life is here.”
“Events have transpired that you could never hope to understand. At this time, I need to start fresh. My Uncle James will be joining me as a chaperone.”
He paced the room, restless. “Did I do something?”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
Matthew clenched his fist and then beseeched her. “Won’t you marry me, Elizabeth? I don’t know how, but in this short period I’ve known you, you have not left my thoughts for a moment and I seem to be desperately in love with you.”
She seemed to have expected that from her calm expression. “Love doesn’t solve every problem, Lord Malmesbury, and as much as I appreciate your sentiments, I cannot marry you. My future is decided.”
He moved forward, kneeling by her. “By whom? Your father? Your mother? All of whom are so focused on keeping me out of your life?”
“There is not one in my family who despises you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. My father was quite impressed with your concern for me. It is complicated and I cannot tell you more than that.”
“Do you make light of my feelings?” Matthew said bitterly, taking a step back.
Lizzie looked horrified. “Of course not! You have been nothing less than wonderful,” she gasped as the tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She refused to speak because any move would guarantee she would not be able to hold back her emotions.
