by Joyce Alec
Lord Greenshire had a smile on his face that was as wide and as superficial as a dancing mouse in a room full of hungry cats. He urged Richard to take a tall stemmed glass from a passing servant, insisting that it was only the best for his guests. He continued to smile until it was almost like a crack across his face.
“Greenshire, it is quite all right,” Richard finally said. “You do not have to pretend to be so cheery.”
“What do you mean, pretend?” his friend asked, still grinning wildly. His eyes appeared to be watering from the strain.
Richard rolled his eyes. “I am not upset about that conversation with your bride and her sister,” he said. “Perhaps a bit confused, but not angry.”
Lord Greenshire appeared to relax slightly, and he finally allowed his smile to slip away, like a leaf on a stream.
“I do not understand it myself, in all honesty,” Lord Greenshire said. “Normally Lady Margaret is quite sweet. She certainly has her opinions, but so does everyone in that family.”
The two men gave each other meaningful looks.
“But I have never seen her act like that. She was just so… harsh,” Lord Greenshire continued, taking a sip of his wine. “And I apologize.”
Richard felt a smirk crawl up his face. “There is no need, my friend.”
Lord Greenshire seemed taken aback. “Why are you smiling like that?”
Richard sighed and swirled the wine around inside of the glass in his hand. “This might sound entirely absurd, but I feel as if she taught me something, or maybe perhaps reminded me of something.”
“Of what?” Lord Greenshire asked.
“That I do not want to be like my father.”
Lord Greenshire blinked in reply. “Forgive me, but I do not understand.”
Richard smirked. “Yes, well…” He rocked back and forth on his heels. “My father never let anyone into his personal life, not even my mother fully. No matter what I did as a child, nothing drew a response from him. Nothing except anger.”
Lord Greenshire’s face fell, and he waited for Richard to continue.
Richard, however, allowed his eyes to comb over the large table filled with delicious food without seeing any of it. “I told myself when I was very young that I wanted to be better than him. Truly, I wished to be nothing like him. And what Lady Margaret just showed me is that perhaps I am like him more than I would ever have wanted to be.”
“How so?” Lord Greenshire asked tentatively. It was as if all the people around them did not exist; his attention was fully on his friend.
“I have the emotional depth of a puddle,” he said, quoting Lady Margaret’s words exactly.
Lord Greenshire pursed his lips and looked down at his glass.
“I am grateful to her,” Richard said. “She could never know the value the words that she meant to use to hurt me.”
The rest of the night was uneventful for Richard, as were the next days following. Lord and Lady Greenshire had invited him to stay for as long as he had wished after the ball, and it seemed that they had extended that invitation to more people than Richard had expected, including Lady Margaret.
Any time that Margaret and Richard found themselves in a room together, it did not last very long. Oftentimes, he would notice her as soon as he would walk into the room, even if he did not mean to look for her. She was always nearby her sisters, her slight frame and curly hair a stark contrast to them.
He realized that he did not find her particularly handsome, but now that he had the chance to see how her face lit up when she laughed, and the distant look in her eyes when she thought no one was watching her, he wondered if anyone had looked at her that closely before. She may not look like her sisters, but even her slight actions revealed a much deeper character that he found himself attracted to.
As soon as she would notice him watching her, however, she would frown and glare, and find the earliest and easiest way out of the room. If they ever found themselves speaking to the same people in the same group, she would utterly ignore him.
He respected her wishes, even though he could not understand why she was so insistent on ignoring him. He could not believe that it was utterly because of the fact that they had accidentally bumped shoulders that day outside of the church. Nor could he believe that it was because of his responses in their conversation at the ball. No, it had to be something else entirely, something that he would not be able to discern without her own words.
Two days after the ball, he and Lord Greenshire were seated in silence in the library. They were quite content to sit together in the same room, both engrossed in their own books. It was a pleasant sort of afternoon, with the sunlight warming the bookshelves, filling the room with the scent of warm wood and old books.
Lady Greenshire and Lady Margaret had found their way into the room, both smiling and laughing. As soon as Lady Margaret saw Richard, she scowled and turned her back to him.
Richard found himself smirking. He turned the page of his book, and settled back into his chair more comfortably.
“Andrew, my sister and I were wondering if we still planned to make a trip into town tomorrow,” Lady Greenshire began.
Lord Greenshire closed his book and placed it on the table nearest to him, and sat back in his chair.
“What for? Is there something that you need?”
“Well, we hoped that we could see Mrs. Rillion’s newest dresses that she displays every summer around this time in hopes that we can have some new dresses made before we go to London in the autumn.”
Richard returned his attention to his book, but he could see the three of them out of the corner of his eye.
He heard Lord Greenshire clear his throat.
Lady Greenshire continued. “This is something that my sisters and I do every summer, and have since we were little girls. Our grandmother used to take us.”
Still Lord Greenshire remained quiet.
“My sister would be heartbroken if I did not take her into town. It is one of the things that she looks forward to most during the summer.”
There we are, there is the truth, Richard thought.
He turned another page, and crossed his leg over the other.
How very interesting that she enjoys the latest fashions.
He smiled again, and chanced a glance up at them.
He caught Lady Margaret’s eyes on him, and as soon as she saw him, her eyes grew wide and she whirled around, looking back at her sister and her husband.
Perhaps she is not so angry with me as she would like me to believe… or perhaps a great deal more.
Several conversations like this persisted, until Richard felt as if he actually knew what sort of woman Lady Margaret was.
The night before he was to return to his own home, he and the rest of the guests were having a great dinner in the dining hall. He was saddened to be leaving the home of his dear friend, but he knew that he could not be a burden to them. He hoped that they would soon join him at his own estate.
He was pleasantly surprised to see that he was seated beside Lady Greenshire and across from Lady Margaret. He was quite content to listen to the conversations of all of those around him, and no one seemed unhappy about the fact that he was not participating.
“So, Lady Margaret, your sister tells me that you have joined the board of directors at the orphanage.”
Richard glanced up at the woman who spoke. Lady Gregory, a slight woman with dark hair and a pointed nose, looked sideways at her. He had not had much of a chance to speak with her much, but Lady Margaret seemed to be quite familiar with her.
Lady Margaret had not noticed him, and truly, she had seemed to ignore his very existence all throughout dinner.
“I have indeed,” she replied, and Richard saw a wide grin spread across her dainty face.
And did her cheeks color?
“What an admirable thing,” Lady Gregory continued, her chin resting on the back of her hand, leaning in closer to Lady Margaret. “Taking care of children the wa
y you do.”
“Wait until you have your own,” another voice added to the conversation. It was Lord Gregory, her husband, who sat on the other side of Lady Greenshire. “Then it will not seem quite so wonderful.”
Richard noticed one of Lady Margaret’s eyebrows twitch, but she continued to smile. “I do hope to have some of my own someday. But until then, I shall help these other children who have no home of their own.”
“Have you considered taking on a child as a ward?” Lady Gregory asked.
Lady Margaret’s jaw clenched ever so slightly.
Perhaps Lady Gregory should understand Lady Margaret’s posture and gaze a bit better, he thought. It is quite obvious that she is uncomfortable.
“I would not be able to provide them with a proper home, even if I had considered it,” Lady Margaret replied smoothly, though there was a slight edge to her words. They were apparently lost on Lady Gregory, whose face did not change.
So she has considered it, Richard mused. It caused his heart to warm, and at the same time, drew a sadness up from somewhere deep within. Yet she is unable since she is not yet married and still lives with her parents.
“It must be dreadfully sad to visit with them,” Lady Gregory continued on, her goblet full of mulled wine in her hand. Her lips formed a pout, and she shook her head. “I do not think I would have the strength to do that.”
Richard looked down at his plate and pushed around some of his turnips with his fork. He did not want to stare outright at the two women.
He noticed that Lady Margaret took a moment or two before continuing, and he wondered what had passed through her mind in that time.
“The children are actually quite happy, all things considered. Children are the same everywhere, I believe, if they are with families or not. The orphanage provides security, so they do not need to worry about their next meals or a roof over their heads. They are also taught basic literacy skills, and when they are old enough, they often become apprentices to learn a trade.”
He could hear a tightness in her voice that he thought Lady Gregory would be deaf to have missed, and he was glad to hear that the other woman had cleared her throat uncomfortably.
“They are happy and always look at the blessings in their lives. They hardly ever complain, and they love wholeheartedly. They just want to find a place to belong. They want to find a place to call a home of their own.”
Richard was looking at her now, not wanting to miss the look on her face.
He noticed that there were strands of red in her brown hair, caught in the candlelight like strands of copper. Her eyes had flecks of brown in them, reminding him of the pattern on a robin’s egg.
She looked over at him for a moment, and they held eye contact for a few moments.
And he was surprised to see that it was not with disgust that she turned away from him. He almost wondered if she was simply embarrassed.
“Well, they are quite fortunate to have someone like you to advocate for them. Your sister told me that you are teaching some of the girls how to sew their own dresses?”
Dinner ended rather uneventfully. The guests retired into the sitting room along the eastern side of the house, and Richard found himself seated with Lord and Lady Greenshire. Lady Gregory was gracing them all with her lovely singing voice, as she and her husband played the piano forte in the corner. It was all very cozy and warm, and Richard felt quite content. He was, however, not sure that he had seen her correctly, but he noticed Lady Greenshire smirking at him, one of her pretty eyebrows arched curiously.
“What?” Richard asked, looking around him, as if there must be something else aside from himself that she must be looking at.
The corner of her mouth was upturned ever so slightly, and she looked as if she found something terribly amusing.
Lord Greenshire also noticed her look.
“My dear, what is it?” But he was kind, and a smile grew on his face, as if he would certainly find whatever she found amusing funny as well.
She continued to look at Richard with a gaze that was like a vice, holding his eye contact.
What in the world is she trying to tell me?
“I saw you, you know,” she said quietly, and she crossed her arms over her chest, her smile still in place.
“Saw me? How do you mean?” Richard asked. He wondered if he should be afraid, but he had no idea what he should be afraid about.
“At the dinner table.”
Richard and Lord Greenshire exchanged confused glances.
“Oh, come now. I am not blind, you know.”
“Dear,” Lord Greenshire began tentatively, “what are you trying to say?”
She spared a look for her husband, but when she looked back at Richard, she smiled even more broadly.
“I have wondered at it for some time now, but I am certain of it now.” She leaned forward ever so slightly.
“You have fallen in love with my baby sister.”
Richard felt as if he had swallowed a mouthful of icy water. He felt all the color drain from his face, and it took all of his strength to not look away. To do otherwise would confirm her words, even if he himself was unsure of the accusation.
He heard Lord Greenshire chortle, and when he looked at his wife, his face fell.
“Wait, you are truly serious?” Lord Greenshire asked. He shook his head. “What in the world makes you say that?” He looked wildly between her and Richard.
“I saw the way that you were watching her tonight,” Lady Greenshire said, as if she were talking about the weather outside.
“She is a very interesting young woman,” Richard replied plainly. He was telling the truth, but it was only part of it.
“Indeed she is,” Lady Greenshire continued. “But you were looking at her with more than just interest. It was more like… admiration.”
“I do admire her,” he answered, feeling as if he had finally grabbed hold of his emotions. “She does what most women would never be able to; be in a room full of children, love them, and then still have the strength to come back again and again.”
Lady Greenshire nodded her head.
Richard found himself in a strange place. Lady Greenshire was being very pleasant, and she was not being overly assertive, and yet, there was no way that he was going to be able to get out of this conversation without answering her.
“Indeed,” Lady Greenshire said.
She continued to study him until he wondered if he should excuse himself from the room, and just as he was about to jump out of his own skin, she looked away, and sat back against the chair she sat in.
Lord Greenshire appeared relieved as well, as his clenched fists opened up, and he reached over and took one of her hands in his.
“Very well,” Lady Greenshire said. A knowing smile passed over her face once more, and it was not mentioned again for the rest of the night.
Richard found his way to his room before many of the other guests retired, feeling both exhausted and confused by Lady Greenshire’s actions. She acted as if nothing had happened. She was not indifferent toward him for the rest of the night, but she certainly made no further mention of his affections for Lady Margaret.
He closed the door to his room and leaned against it, sighing heavily.
You have fallen in love with my baby sister
He swallowed hard, and felt his cheeks color, even though he was entirely alone.
Have I? he wondered. Is it possible that she could see my own heart before I even have?
And there was the look that Lady Margaret had given him at dinner. It was important, somehow, and the significance was not lost on him. And yet, she had not given him a second glance for the rest of the evening.
Those Stone women certainly are interesting…
By the time that he lay down on his bed, his book in hand, he was doing all he could to not think of Lady Margaret. Somehow, someway, she had forced her way into his mind by attempting to avoid any and all contact with him. The blatant choice to ignore him
had caused him to do anything but ignore her.
And he found that he enjoyed when she smiled, and felt happier when she laughed.
What more could I ask for in a wife?
That icy feeling swept back over him again.
She would never accept me.
He sighed heavily.
And would I truly want her to? I seem to upset her so easily.
He forced himself to roll over onto his side, still clutching his book. He made himself read until his eyes grew drowsy, and he wondered if it was due to the reading or from the strain of forcing his brain to focus on the words and not on Lady Margaret.
6
The next morning the Greenshire estate was abuzz with activity. Many of the friends who had come to visit were leaving that day, and it was with many heavy farewells and promises of visits that Lord and Lady Greenshire stood at the door and hugged their friends goodbye.
Richard chose to leave later the next day because his home was not far from theirs. He stood beside Lord and Lady Greenshire as they shook hands and laughed a time or two more.
Lady Margaret stood on the other side of her sister, politely extending well wishes to those who passed her, but Richard thought it was most likely to encourage and support her sister. After a house full of people left, it was bound to feel empty and lonely to them.
He knew only too well how lonely such a large house could be.
One of the last couples to make their way down to the foyer was Lady and Lord Gregory. Lady Gregory was dressed beautifully in a navy-blue dress and a silk bonnet, and she cooed over Lady Margaret.
“Oh, my dear, you must come back home with us,” she said, clasping both of Lady Margaret’s hands in her own. The woman appeared to be on the edge of tears. “Surely your father would understand if you wrote him a letter?”
Lady Margaret shook her head, but the look on her face told him that she was flattered. “I will come and visit very soon, Lady Gregory. Truly I will. But I must go back home. I have a class to teach to those sweet girls, and I will also attend my first meeting as a board member in only two days.”
