by Joyce Alec
"Lucy, darling, I understand that what you went through must have been terrifying, and I know that Lord Harrogate came to the rescue. But your interest in him must stop there. You are to wed the Duke of Selby."
Lucy smiled, "Of course, Mama."
The Marchioness smiled as she said, "I know it is still months away, but your Christmas wedding will be beautiful. We all are looking forward to it."
Lucy looked to the ground. "I think I should like to go to my room now and get some rest, Mama."
Lucy kissed her father and mother on the cheeks, and headed upstairs to her room.
Lucy sat on a chaise near a window in her room that overlooked the garden. At least in her own thoughts, Lucy could be free. Although she was grateful that she was born into privilege, she harbored a secret envy of the working class who seemed to be less confined to the rigidity of her social standing.
Thinking about the Earl of Harrogate, Lucy tried to remember everything he had said to her. She wanted to know everything about him. Lucy blushed as the memories from the day he saved her raced through her mind. Lord Harrogate was a hero, but Lucy thought she must have appeared to be very foolish on that day. Upon their first meeting, she was covered in mud, screaming in public and alone.
Despite the fact that she had acted very unladylike, Lord Harrogate had still been a perfect gentleman. When he met her, he had no idea that she was the daughter of a marquess. From her appearance, he should have assumed she was a peasant. Her appearance or social stature didn't stop him from assisting Lucy in her time of need. Lord Harrogate had saved Lucy's life, saved her horse, escorted her to safety, and informed her father of her whereabouts. He had behaved admirably.
So many rules, Lucy thought to herself. From the time she was a child, Lucy was taught to act in a particular way fitting of a lady. Even when someone was bothering her, she could never show her anger. Her only defense was to make a rude comment in a polite way, so the person couldn't tell whether her tone was serious. She must always have control over her emotions, sit up straight, dress accordingly, and certainly never show any interest in a man, unless a particular protocol was followed. Always be meek; always be modest. Lucy was full of opinions, but she kept them to herself.
Lucy had many suitors, many of which her parents encouraged, but she found them all to be perfectly boring. Their conversations were dull, and although their wealth and titles were impressive, she could never find joy in their presence.
Lucy's mother began to pressure her daughter with the threat of an arranged marriage if she did not show an interest in an eligible match soon. Lucy's father had reminded his wife that their daughter was only twenty years old.
However, when the Duke of Selby called on Lucy and asked the marquess for his daughter's hand in marriage, the marquess and the marchioness agreed to the match. Lucy never understood why they arranged the marriage. Other than the duke's money and title, he was undesirable. All Lucy knew was that the engagement was final; she couldn’t refuse.
When Lucy was told she had to marry the duke, the tears did not stop flowing for days. The duke was nearly thirty years Lucy's senior, a widower, and had children that were older than Lucy. He was starting to bald, and he was a slight man with delicate features. Lucy felt no attraction to him, and therefore, could not entertain the thoughts of being his wife. Being a duchess didn't appeal to Lucy as it did to other women, but her family was thrilled at the prospect of Lucy marrying one of the richest men in England. In fact, the duke owned nearly as much property as the royal family. Lucy only hoped one of those properties included a cottage by the sea.
Maybe becoming a spinster wouldn't be so bad, thought Lucy, laughing to herself. Living out her days in a small cottage by the sea, saying whatever she liked, whenever she liked, seemed to be the perfect way to grow old.
If the earl did choose to speak about the carriage incident, maybe the duke would refuse to marry her. In Lucy’s mind, it was the ideal escape. She smiled to herself at this thought. Lord Harrogate didn't seem like the type to gossip though; he had barely spoken at all. Lucy imagined her reputation would not be harmed. She didn't know whether or not to be disappointed.
A soft knock at the door interrupted Lucy's thoughts. It was Agnes, her maid, with a tray of food. Lucy thanked Agnes, and for the first time, actually examined Agnes's features. Agnes was quite pretty, although Lucy had always failed to notice before. Her face was round, and her eyes were the color of moss. Lucy imagined Agnes was only a couple of years her senior, and for the first time, felt like they had something in common. They were both stuck in a similar predicament, neither could speak freely, they both had to act a certain way, and both had to wear a prescribed uniform. But she envied Agnes, who was free. Agnes could choose who she married and could resign at any time. Lucy could not.
She thanked Agnes again, this time with sincerity. Agnes smiled at her kindness, and with the soft closing of the door, Lucy was alone again.
3
The following morning, Lucy joined her parents for breakfast.
"Good morning, dear," said the Marchioness. "I want to apologize for my outburst yesterday. But, you do understand that my only interest is your wellbeing, don't you?"
Not wanting to upset her mother, Lucy nodded and thanked her mother for her concern. A promise was made to her parents that she would never take the carriage out alone again. Lucy's mother was appeased, and the meal continued with idle conversation.
When Lucy excused herself from the table, her mother said, "Dear, please don't forget that the duke is dining with us tonight. He will be staying here as our guest for three days. I have asked Agnes to lay out that blue dress that complements your coloring. I would also love for you to wear my sapphire necklace tonight. How beautiful you will look!"
"Of course, Mama. The blue dress is lovely. It's a perfect choice."
Lucy disliked the blue dress that her mother favored, but she would give into her mother's wishes as she always did. They had dined with the duke a fortnight ago, which was the first time Lucy had met him. The dinner conversation was dull. Although young ladies were vying for his attention at every social gathering, Lucy did her best to avoid his glances and interactions. But apparently, Lucy had done something to win the duke's affections, because the following day, the duke asked for her hand in marriage.
Lucy wanted a man who was young, strong, and handsome. The duke didn't fit any of those descriptions. Lord Harrogate came to mind, although he rarely left her thoughts since their meeting. He was titled and had wealth, but Lucy felt there was something different about him, a wildness that couldn't be tamed. Lucy's parents had said he'd been in the Navy, which meant he would have traveled to places Lucy had never been. She dreamed of hearing his stories, and possibly even visiting those places with him. Lucy's imagined Lord Harrogate to be everything she wanted in a man, but the truth was that she knew nothing of consequence about him.
Oh well, she thought, it's better to live a magnificent life in my dreams, rather than be confined to rules and boredom in my reality.
That evening, Agnes asked Lucy how she wanted to wear her hair as Lucy sat at the dressing table. Lucy had no thoughts on her hairstyle, as she was not motivated to impress the duke. Agnes styled Lucy's dark brown hair in a simple up-do with silver combs. It looked elegant. The sapphire necklace rested on the dressing table as Lucy admired the beauty of the stones. She imagined how much the stones must be worth and thought about selling the necklace to make her escape.
Her thoughts quickly shifted as she realized running away would affect her whole family, especially her sister, Margaret. Her younger sister was so delicate, and Lucy had always felt protective of her. If Lucy stole a family heirloom and ran away, the family would be the topic of gossip, and it could affect Margaret's chance at happiness. Lucy would never do anything to harm her sister.
Agnes placed the necklace around Lucy's neck, and the large pendant hung just above Lucy's breast, drawing attention to her bare skin. Lucy wond
ered if her mother had chosen the necklace for that purpose.
"M'lady, I have the royal blue gown with the silver bead trim laid out for you to wear this evening."
"Thank you, Agnes. Mother will be pleased."
Lucy wished that she was dressing to dine with Lord Harrogate, instead of the duke. Thinking about his taught muscles she felt as he pulled her to safety, Lucy audibly gasped.
"M’lady, are you well?"
Embarrassed, Lucy answered, "Quite well, Agnes. Thank you for your concern. I am just tired, but I am sure my disposition will change once I have had something to eat."
Agnes smiled at Lucy, and for the first time, Lucy divulged her feelings to her maid.
"Agnes, the truth is, I am frightened by the thought of marrying the duke. I only dream of being happy, and this arrangement has brought me nothing but sadness."
"M'lady, I’m sure His Grace has some wonderful qualities that will bring you joy. At some point, you might even grow to love him."
"Tis true, Agnes. Thank you for your optimism. Your words have made me feel better."
Lucy smiled at Agnes, and Agnes nodded. However, both women knew there was no truth in Lucy's words.
At a quarter to seven, Lucy walked down the grand stone staircase into the great hall. She walked past the oil paintings. Lucy looked into the eyes of her wealthy ancestors and searched for answers that would never come. Lucy wondered if any of them had the same kind of thoughts and struggles that she had. How many of her ancestors' marriages had been arranged? Did any of them find happiness in matrimony? Lucy longed to make her own choices and choose her own future.
The duke had not yet arrived. She walked across the drawing room to join her parents, her brother William, and her sister Margaret. Lucy admired her older brother, William, who was independent, brash, and said what he pleased. He was next in line for his father’s marquess title, so his right to speak his mind was never questioned. William would have a say in who he wanted to marry, and Lucy hoped that William would marry for love.
Margaret, Lucy's younger sister, was a beautiful and meek girl of sixteen. She had blonde hair and big blue eyes, which was a stark contrast to Lucy's brown eyes and brown hair. Lucy considered Margaret to be her opposite in every way, but still, she loved her dearly.
Taking a seat next to her sister on a red upholstered couch by the fireplace, Lucy did not attempt to engage in conversation. She was lost in her own thoughts when her younger sister nudged her.
"Lucy, Papa is looking in your direction. I believe he wishes you to join him. His Grace has just arrived."
"Oh, Margaret, I do not wish to marry the duke. My heart aches, and I just don't think I can bear to wear a smile that does not show my true feelings."
Margaret brought her hand to her mouth in shock, "Lucy, you must be quiet. What if somebody had heard you?" Margaret tried to console her sister, "You will be a duchess, and the duke seems kind. Imagine what other women would do to be in your shoes."
"Well, those women can have my shoes, and my future title," she sighed as she stood up to join her parents.
Lucy shuddered involuntarily as she approached the duke and tried to pass her reaction off as just being cold. She curtsied, and he bowed.
"Lady Lucy, how lovely to see you again. I have been looking forward to this visit since we last met."
"What kind words, Your Grace. Thank you. I have been looking forward to your visit, as well," said Lucy as she smiled, knowing she was telling a falsehood.
The Duke of Selby was seated next to Lucy at dinner. Determined to make the best of the situation, Lucy tried to find something they had in common.
"Your Grace, I hope your journey was pleasant."
"Lady Lucy, please call me Robert. We are to be married, so I would like to do away with such formalities."
"Very well, Robert. I must insist that you call me Lucy."
"Nothing would make me happier, my dear."
And with that exchange, the conversation ended for several minutes. Lucy didn't know how to engage the duke, but once again, she tried to start a conversation.
"Robert, have you read any books that suit you recently?"
"Ah, I do enjoy reading, but business has kept me quite busy as of late, so I am afraid I have not had time to enjoy a good book."
Lucy offered her opinion on a book she had read, and the duke cut her off mid-sentence to speak to the woman sitting next to him. He yelled at one of the footman for standing too close to him, and he embarrassed the butler after screaming at him for a small mistake. Lucy finally gave up and said a silent prayer for the meal to end as soon as possible.
After a grueling three days, the duke finally returned home. Lucy had joined the duke for walks in the garden and dined together in the evenings with Lucy's family. Although Lucy had originally thought he was kind, she now found him to be arrogant and rude. He treated the staff poorly and showed no interest in Lucy's talents or interests.
4
A week had passed since the duke's visit, and Lucy finally felt her body relax. She hadn't realized that every muscle in her body was holding the tension that her heart felt. Time alone would help her clear her thoughts. Lucy headed to the stables to find Mabel.
Lucy adored being outside and loved to go riding at every opportunity. It was late September, and the weather was comfortable with a slight chill to the air. When she was alone with Mabel, she could let go of all her cares. The wind against her face and the sun warming her skin made her worries disappear. She didn't want the moment to end.
Mabel was getting tired, so Lucy headed home. She left her horse in the capable hands of a stable boy and walked into the great hall of family's estate. As she was heading for the staircase, Lucy was intercepted by her mother.
"Lucy, I have delightful news."
"What a pleasant surprise, Mama. I could use some good news."
"The duke is hosting a house party, and we are to join him in a fortnight. What a wonderful opportunity for you to see your new home."
"How lovely, Mama."
With that, Lucy turned and ran upstairs to the sanctuary of her room. The muscles in Lucy's body tightened as she felt the tension return. The tears were streaming down her face, and Lucy couldn't stop them. The thought of sharing a life—and a bed—with the duke took control of her emotions. She had already begged and pleaded to be released from the promise of marriage, but her parents said it was too late do such a thing.
The day had arrived, and Lucy's family was on their way to the duke's country estate. The trip was long and uncomfortable. Lucy was heartbroken, as was evident in her demeanor and actions. Lucy didn't even try to hide her disappointment in front of her family.
Lucy's brother, William, even tried to talk to their father on Lucy's behalf. It pained him to see his sister in such turmoil, and he kept telling Lucy how sorry he was that he couldn't put a stop to the marriage. William blamed himself, but Lucy consoled him and told him it was their parents' doing. Both of Lucy's siblings were sympathetic to her predicament, but her parents insisted it was for the best.
Lucy and her family arrived at the grand country estate. They were met in the great hall by the duke and his children. They ranged in ages from twenty-five to ten. A sick feeling came over Lucy as she imagined being a stepmother to her future husband's children. Lucy had always wanted children of her own, but she had never dreamed of being forced into a motherhood this way.
Lucy noticed that the heir to the dukedom, Lord Pearson, was entirely different from his father. His actions were gracious, kind and very welcoming towards Lucy. He was tall, handsome, and strong in stature. Lord Pearson was five years Lucy's senior, so she imagined him to be more like a big brother than her future stepson. She hoped that they would get along well and possibly form a friendship.
When Lord Pearson was introduced to Margaret, Lucy noticed an immediate attraction between the two. His eyes fixated on Margaret, who returned his gaze with a smile. Lord Pearson's confidence waned as he
stumbled over his words. Margaret made him nervous. Lucy smiled at the encounter and winked at her sister when Lucy caught Margaret's eye. Margaret’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment.
As Lucy was shown to her room, she was overwhelmed by the size of the house; it was enormous. She had never been in a house to match its opulence or size. After seeing the house, it made perfect sense why Lucy's parents arranged the marriage; it was enormous. Lucy admitted to herself that the money and estates were tempting, but the man she would have to marry made the offer unattractive.
Lucy was wealthy, and her family lived in a grand house that was considered one of the most beautiful in Yorkshire, yet her bedroom would fit three times over in her bedroom in the duke's estate. The footman brought up her trunks, and Agnes unpacked them.
Unable to relax, Lucy went to the door and checked the locks, and then just to be sure, checked the window latch as well. She looked at Agnes and thought for one brief second that Agnes was trying not to laugh.
"M'lady, I doubt you have to worry about him coming in the window. Although, I am sure he has a key to the lock; this is his house."
Lucy couldn't hold back her smile, although the situation was not funny. Agnes was fully aware of Lucy's grievances, but as a servant, she never spoke poorly about the duke. But in this situation, Agnes was right. Lucy's attempts to lock herself away were futile.
"Agnes, please lay out the coral dress for this evening." Lucy added, "And, I am afraid you are right about the door."
Lucy had selected the coral evening gown because she had never liked it. She always thought the color made her look pale, and it looked ghastly with the coloring of her hair. She hoped the duke would think so as well and ward off any attraction he had to her.
Later that day, Lucy returned to her room from tea with her mother and other party guests. She was surprised to see a stunning emerald green evening gown with a low-cut neckline and green beading laid out for dinner. Lucy did not recognize the dress and immediately wanted to know what had happened to the coral dress she requested. She rang for Agnes, who arrived several minutes later.
