by Joyce Alec
Emma reconsidered. Mary was right, after all. She was grateful that her sister always tended to look at the glass half full. Ever the optimist.
“Come now, why don’t you sit up with me? Give yourself a chance to breathe.”
Emma obliged, Mary helping her.
“There, doesn’t that feel better?” Mary asked. She reached over to a tray that she had brought into the room with her, and passed a steaming cup of tea to Emma. “Here now, drink up. You must be thirsty, and I am imagine quite famished.”
“I really don’t feel much like eating,” Emma said.
“All the better to make sure you do get something to eat,” Mary said, nodding firmly. “And some biscuits?” She shook a plate of ginger snaps under Emma’s nose.
The smell made her stomach growl loudly. “I suppose I could have one with my tea…”
Mary watched Emma take a few more ginger snaps from the plate as she drank her tea.
“Better?” she asked when Emma had taken the last sip from her cup.
“Better,” Emma said, smiling slightly.
“A smile, even?” Mary said. “I guess I should bring you tea and biscuits more often when you are sad.”
Emma sighed, and looked at Mary.
“What am I supposed to do?” Emma asked, though with less despair than before. “Truly? What am I to do?”
“Anything you want,” Mary repeated. “Anything!”
Mary’s eyes glinted with excitement.
“Now we should think of all the men that you can marry, men who are single and eligible!”
“Mary, I don’t know if that is the best idea—”
“What about Mr. Matthews?” Mary asked. “He was quite handsome when I last saw him. He grew that beard, and he no longer looks like a small boy.”
“Mary, come on—”
“Oh! Or what about Mr. Harrison? He has that lovely orchard, and his family is wonderful, well connected.”
“I appreciate your concern, Mary, but—”
“Oh, I know,” Mary said. “I know the perfect man for you! Mr. Keller! Oh, he is just divine, isn’t he? And kind. So generous. He loves children, and he loves to read. Oh, he’s perfect. We should write to him—”
Emma had placed her hand on Mary’s shoulder, and had shaken her ever so gently.
“What is it?” Mary asked.
Emma smiled. “I really do appreciate your enthusiasm. And perhaps in time, I would be willing to discuss possible prospective husbands…if any of those men are still single.”
“They are,” Mary said, nodding her head matter-of-factly. “I just checked with some of our friends yesterday. To make sure that I wasn’t going to get your hopes up when I brought them to your attention.”
“Thank you,” Emma said. “For taking the time to look out for me in that way. You are a wonderful sister. But can you understand that all of this is just too recent? Too soon? I need some time to adjust to the drastic changes in my life.”
Mary opened her mouth to protest, and then promptly closed it.
“Besides…I am already concerned about running into him and his new woman out in town…” Emma said. “If I ever return to town. I don’t think I could face the shame.”
“He wouldn’t dare reveal himself after what he did,” Mary said scathingly. “Never. He surely has more sense than that. If he has any sense at all, he will end things with that woman and join the church to atone for his sins.”
Emma nodded. “He certainly should.”
Mary rose to her feet and walked across to the window, peering out into the foggy afternoon.
“Maybe I wouldn’t be able to stay here at all…” Emma said, pondering. “Maybe everywhere I look will always be a reminder of what has happened to me. Will I ever be able to go to the library, where Andrew had found them kissing, and not think of that? Will I ever be able to be happy with another man in this town when I know that the man who I was meant to marry was there?”
Mary looked back over at her.
“You will be able to move past it, in time.”
“I don’t know if I could,” Emma said. “I mean no offense, sister, but you have not had to deal with these sorts of issues. You have not been married.”
Mary looked like a bird whose feathers had been ruffled. “No, I haven’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I am talking about.”
“I never said that,” Emma said slowly. “All I am saying is that marriage…and all of the excitement that comes with it has not been tainted for you. You can have empathy for me in my situation, but your views are still whole. You still have hope in the idea.”
Mary looked closely at Emma. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that there are some things in life that we can learn from, and the pain will dull, but we will never be able to move past. Such as a death of a loved one, or the destruction of a friendship. But this is worse. It is the death of a relationship above all earthly relationships. It is meant to be honored and protected. And he…” Emma sighed. “He demonstrated with his actions that he thinks nothing of those sorts of vows.”
Mary bent her head.
“I do not take those vows lightly,” Emma said. “That is why I am as upset as I am.”
Mary nodded. “I understand.”
“And that is why I am not sure if I would be able to stay here, where someone who had spurned me so deeply still resides.”
“Then where would you go? What would you do? Will you become a spinster?” Mary asked.
“No…” Emma said. “I do feel called to being married. But…”
She thought and thought. It was quite the dilemma. How could she still marry, but not have to remain in the small town where people would talk and never forget a scandal such as the one she had been a victim of?
“What if I were to put an ad in the Matrimonial Times?”
Mary’s head whipped around, and she stared at Emma with incredulity.
“What do you mean? That paper where men whose wives have died try to find a new one? Or the men who live out west need a woman to keep their home?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “It is a reputable place,” she said.
The idea was growing on her even as she thought about it.
“Think of it,” Emma said. “I would be able to pick and choose based on what I am looking for. I could write exactly what I want in a husband, explain that I desire to find a man who is loyal and honors marriage above all else.”
“How do you know that you would find a man who was genuine through that sort of means?” Mary asked suspiciously. “A man could very easily say that he is one thing and be another!”
“I realize this,” Emma said. “But it is the very same with men that you can meet around here. Look at the situation I was just placed in! I had known him for a very long time, and he still ended up being different than what I had thought.”
Mary pursed her lips. “That is true.”
“I have to have faith that a good sort of man would be looking for a good woman by those means.”
Mary shook her head. “I don’t like the idea.”
“But I do,” Emma said, getting to her feet and crossing over to where Mary stood at the window. “It would allow me to have hope in the idea of marriage again. To meet someone who is serious about a relationship, and give me the chance to get away. I truly do not believe I could bear seeing…” she sighed heavily. “…Jack…with anyone else.”
If she was to move on, then she would need to force herself to say his name and not allow the fear of him to have any power over her.
Mary frowned. “But that would mean that you would be leaving…”
“I wouldn’t be leaving any time soon…” Emma said. “Besides, maybe there is a man just in the town over who is looking for a woman such as myself.”
Mary seemed to brighten. “I do want you to be happy, you know that, right?”
“Of course I do,” Emma said, putting her hands on Mary’s shoulders. “I know you
do because of how persistent you were today, and have been the last few days. I needed you to come in here and shake some sense into me. I do not like that Jack and what he chose to do had torn me apart so greatly.”
She clutched at the fabric of her dress just over her heart.
“My heart is broken, and I will need time to heal. But I will get better, it will get easier.”
“When will you put an advertisement in the paper?” Mary asked.
“I should write up what I am looking for as soon as I can, while Jack’s flaws are fresh in my mind. It will allow me to find what I truly want.”
Mary looked concerned.
“I am only joking,” Emma said. “I will be wise, use my sense and find someone who is good for me.” Emma sighed. “It is hard, because Jack was a good match for me. He just chose someone over me…for some reason.”
“All right, enough wallowing,” Mary said, grabbing Emma’s hand and dragging her toward the door. “Let’s go and get you something proper to eat. And perhaps a nice walk once the sun comes out. Mother will want to hear all about this.”
2
“There’s been an answer!” Emma cried, waving a letter in the air excitedly.
Mary looked up from her plate, in the middle of a lazy afternoon tea.
The afternoon sunlight streamed in through the windows, making the china she ate with glimmer, warming the wood and making the whole place smell like honey and cedar.
“An answer to what?” Mary asked, popping the last of her fruit tart into her mouth.
“The advertisement in the Matrimonial Times, silly,” Emma said, beaming, her cheeks rosy. She danced into the room and plopped herself down in the chair beside her sister. She put the letter down in front of Mary, right in front of her teacup. It had been almost a month since Emma and Jack ended their engagement.
Mary’s eyes widened, and she laughed. “My, someone is rather excited.” She picked up the letter and grinned. “So…who is the lucky man?”
She slid open the letter and unfolded it.
“Dear Miss Waters – so formal, isn’t he? – I recently saw your posting in Matrimonial Times. I wondered why a woman with such simple desires is yet unmarried.”
Mary looked up. “What did you say in your post?”
Emma shrugged. “I said I wanted a husband who would put our marriage above everything, would always communicate with me, and be my friend.”
Mary arched an eyebrow. “That couldn’t be everything.”
Emma nodded. “Very nearly. There were a few other intricacies, like where I was from, how old I was, what I looked like.”
Mary returned to the letter.
“My name is Clyde Forester, and I live in Colorado. I know that is quite a ways from Ohio, but I assure you, it is absolutely stunning out here. If you like open skies, gorgeous mountain views, and lakes as still as glass, then you would love it here.”
Mary looked up. “Quite the romantic, isn’t he?”
Emma smiled.
“I myself am a simple man, with simple wishes. I would very much like a woman who enjoys the outdoors, and someone who can cook a fine meal. I work long hours on the farm, and having a loving wife to come home to would sure make my days better. Aside from that, I would be happy to have someone who could read the good book to me as I doze off in the evenings, and someone who would sit by the fire with me on cold winter nights.”
Emma’s cheeks were burning. “He’s rather poetic, isn’t he?”
“He writes as if he was a story teller,” Mary agreed. “If this sounds at all like you, then I would love to hear from you at your earlier convenience. And if you accept, then I see no reason to wait. I look forward to your reply.”
Mary exhaled slowly as she set the letter back down on the table.
“Well, I’m impressed,” she said.
“Oh, I’m so glad!” Emma said, beaming. She grabbed the letter and looked over it, her eyes taking in his clear, swooping handwriting. “I was very impressed, too. He’s…charming.”
Mary laughed. “Well, what are you going to say?”
“What?”
Mary glanced at the letter. “Are you going to accept?”
Emma’s face flushed even deeper. “I…I think I will.”
Her reply was in the mail the very next morning.
Emma was convinced that nothing could upset her good mood. She rarely thought of her past now, choosing instead to focus on the future and this man named Clyde who she hoped was as handsome as he was thoughtful. She dreamt of him at night, of what their life together would be.
She wandered through town just two weeks after she had made plans with Clyde to move out to Colorado, Mary tagging along to help her purchase various items for her trip. She looked for new dresses, bonnets, gloves, and shoes. She wanted to put her very best foot forward for her soon-to-be husband.
“Husband!” Emma said, laughing. “I never imagined I would marry a man that I had never met before!”
Mary laughed, and lifted a scrap of fabric from a sheaf on the rack in the store they were in. “What do you think of this? A lovely yellow, and I love the small detail of the flowers.”
“Emma?”
Emma and Mary whirled around.
Standing in the doorway to the shop was Jack.
All the color left Emma’s face. She suddenly wished that she could be anywhere but where she was at that moment.
“I have been looking all over for you…” Jack said, walking toward her. “I’ve sent letters to the house, come to call for the past week…I just returned from there. Your father informed me that you were in town.”
Emma made a note to remind her father about her great dislike of Jack.
“I heard that you are leaving town?” he went on. “To marry some stranger out in Colorado?”
Emma and Mary exchanged curious glances.
“How did that news travel that fast already?” Emma breathed.
“It is a small town, after all,” Mary said. She turned to Jack. “What do you want?”
Jack’s face paled, and he steeled his gaze. “I must speak with Emma. Alone.”
Mary crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t think so. Whatever you need to say to her, you can say with me standing right here.”
Emma did not think she had ever been more grateful for her ever in her life.
“Very well,” Jack said, the annoyance clear in his tone. “Emma, I have wanted to find you. To convince you to stay in Ohio. And marry me.”
Mary’s laughter echoed off the small walls in the shop.
Emma could only stare at him in disbelief.
“You cannot be serious…” she said eventually, the anger that she had done so well to suppress rising in her once more. “After that happened?”
Jack took another step toward her. “Emma, you have to understand. As I have told everyone who would listen, she came onto me! I had nothing to do with it!”
Emma’s mind began to rush far ahead of her. She…had come onto him? What if he was telling the truth? Had she made a new decision in too rash of a manner? Had she been wrong to not listen to him, or hear his side of the story?
“And you really expect us to believe that?” Mary said, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “You are stooping to a new low, Jack. Emma would never—”
“Why are you choosing to tell me all of this now?” Emma cut in, glaring at him hotly. “You have had weeks, almost two full months to come to me and tell me.”
“I was certain that you despised me,” Jack said, scratching his beard. “And I was determined to try and move on. But…I just couldn’t forget about you, Emma. I was in love with you, and I knew it with all my heart.”
Emma’s heart fluttered like a bird trapped in a cage. To hear those words again…it was as if he was saying them for the first time. It began to reawaken something deep inside of her that she had thought she had forgotten.
“Come along, Emma,” Mary said, taking Emma’s hand in her own. “Let�
�s leave. We don’t need to listen to this man and his lies any longer.”
“I am not lying!” Jack cried, stepping between them and the door out of the shop. “Please. You must listen to me. If you leave and I haven’t told you all of this…I…I will regret it for the rest of my life.”
“You should already be regretting how you treated her,” Mary replied coolly. “Now please step aside. My sister is very busy as she prepares to go meet her betrothed.”
Emma pulled her hand from Mary’s.
“Take it as my last request from you,” Emma said flatly, “That I am even going to hear what you have to say. Because I am very happy, for the first time since we found out what happened between you and Sarah Johnson.”
Jack recoiled. “As I told you, it was she who—”
“What makes you think that I would choose to stay here with you? That I would give up this wonderful chance to be with a man who would love me faithfully?”
Jack grimaced and looked down at his feet.
Emma tried to ignore the fact that she still found him terribly handsome, with his reddish hair and beard, and piercing blue eyes. He always was dressed well, and Emma had known she had been incredibly blessed to be matched with such a reputable man.
But since he was caught with Sarah Johnson, his reputation had been ruined. His invitations to social events had been withdrawn, and everyone had sided with Emma.
She imagined that must have made for a very lonely time in his life, even if he had chosen to do what he did.
She had a very hard time believing that he wasn’t the one who had initiated. He was a very sociable person, very friendly with everyone, especially women. Emma had always written it off as just a very jovial personality. She wished she had listened to her gut all the way back then.
“I know that I cannot go back and fix what has occurred,” he began. “But I would ask—no, beg you—to give me another chance.”
“Begging is beneath you,” Mary said. “Save some of your dignity.”
“If I must beg, I will,” Jack replied. He looked earnestly at Emma. “Emma, truly, can you tell me that there is any man who could make you smile the way that I did? Who knew exactly what you needed to hear when you needed to hear it, and how to cheer you up when you were cross? I always knew the perfect thing to give you for your birthday, and whenever you needed anything, I dropped whatever I was doing to fetch it for you?”
