by Dawn Peers
“A fine gesture, but futile. He is a healer amongst healers, so get them to do their own work. Stop him from working in hospitals, and assign him to what an apprentice should be doing—studying. That will stop him from expending himself. No conflict is required and the solution is easy. Vote?”
The vote on this was unanimous, and Pax was satisfied. He still had his way, if only just. He hoped that Sammah was able to hold out within Everfell, otherwise Pax’s hold on the council might begin to slip. That would be an unfortunate situation for everybody.
23
A week had passed, since Quinn had arrived back in Everfell and she had been forced to witness the carnage in the courtyard.
She had been consigned to her old rooms, and her nightmare of suffering under Sammah had begun all over again.
“It feels just like the old times doesn’t it?”
Quinn looked across at Neyv, who was sitting upright in her bed. She was becoming used to Neyv’s vacant stare, though it was still unsettling at times. Was Neyv ill? Was this strange behaviour a symptom of the girl’s manifesting abilities? Whatever the reason, these silent evenings unsettled Quinn, and she was always desperately trying to fill the silent spaces between them. She would have given anything to have Maertn with her. Maertn had always been there when they were growing up. The silence had probably always existed between Quinn and Neyv, who had shared this room for so long, but had been tempered by Maertn’s congenial nature and ever-present humour. The only human interaction she got now, in a castle full of mutes, was with Sammah himself. Every time they met, it was for him to work on Neyv’s control of Quinn’s mind. Each encounter left Quinn with nosebleeds and headaches. It was not going well.
“Do you like living here?”
It was a simple enough question. Quinn was trying to draw any conversational the girl. She needed something—absolutely anything—to fill in the massive stretch of time between being shut in here by Elias and a time when she felt she could go to sleep. Relaxing didn’t come easily, despite how much of a strain the sessions with Sammah were on her mind. Her mind wouldn’t stop, her thoughts never at rest.
Quinn wanted this to end, and she couldn’t even get some congenial conversation out of her adoptive sister to break the monotony.
“It’s safe isn’t it? Why would you want to be anywhere else?”
Quinn was surprised when Neyv answered. This was the first time the girl had responded to any of the queries. Was Neyv finally coming around? Quinn was immediately on the defensive, despite the fact that she was the one who had instigated the conversation. Was this how Sammah would get to her now? Lure Quinn into a false sense of security with her little sister, and then have Neyv take advantage of that when Quinn wasn’t trying to defend herself? No, that wouldn’t be true. Quinn’s imagination was running away with her. She was thinking like Maertn too much, and she had to start trusting in herself. She already felt her sanity was fraying at the edges, and Sammah knew that. He was having Neyv get all of the sensitive little loose parts of her life—any weakness that he knew Quinn had—and pulling away at them one by one. Quinn felt like she was being ripped apart from the inside out. It was only a matter of time. She would take solace where she could.
“Safe?” Quinn replied, “Did you see it out there in the city? What it’s like? There’s virtually nothing left.”
“Isn’t that another good thing? Father always said the crowded cities were bad things. He says the cities in Sha’sek aren’t nearly as noisy and dirty as the ones here.”
“Then he’s wrong on a number of counts. I went to Farn, and it was just as bad as Everfell, but twice as good at the same time. There were people in the streets dancing, merchants everywhere. It was absolutely glorious. Everfell is the opposite of that. People are leaving Neyv, because they’re afraid that if they stay here they will die. Our father has created this nightmare. He started a war, and there are lots of people—innocent people—who are going to be killed, just because he wants power. You’re helping him get that, Neyv. Don’t you see, he’s a terrible man who wants terrible things. We are the only people he can use to get what he wants, do you understand me?”
“I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t have to agree with you.”
That sounded like a very mature response to what Quinn had thought was a very simple, and yet very deep, question. “Do you really understand? If I use the word genocide to you, would you know what that meant? Because that’s what Sammah is doing here. He’s going to turn the kingdom against itself. The men here aren’t used to fighting, and if women and children get in Sammah’s way he’ll just kill them too. If we don’t stop what Sammah is doing, Shiver is going to ride here with his lords and besiege us. They are going to sit outside Everfell until they take what they want."
“What do they want?”
“They don’t want Sammah on the throne.”
“But why? What has he done wrong? Just because he wasn’t born here?"
“It’s not that simple. There are ways that things are done, and Sammah is breaking every single one of those laws. Not even his brother agrees with what he is doing here. Why do you think no one is sending any help? Why do you think Sammah is here all alone, and he needs us to do the work for him? No one else wants to help him, because everybody else knows that he’s in the wrong.”
“Is that what you believe?"
“It’s the only truth. He’s tricking you like you tricked me when I was younger, and I can help you learn the truth. Please, just believe me, trust what I’m saying."
“So what would you have us do? If he wants us to help him, how do we not? We are his daughters. We meant to help; it’s what we do.”
“No, it’s not. We’re not his daughters Neyv, we’re two of a collection of gifted orphans. You think Maertn was his son? There were orphans like us all over the cities, and one by one, Sammah has been killing them. Now he thinks they’re useless. Don’t you understand that he’ll just do that to you, too? Once he doesn’t need us any more, once he’s used us, then he’s just going to get rid of us. He doesn’t want anyone and he doesn’t love you, he isn’t capable of it. He is an apath. Everything he’s said to you has been with the sole intention of making you become what he wants. He sees us as weapons, not people, Neyv.”
“Not true! He is my father and he loves me; I know it! It’s you—you that always gets in the way Quinn. Whenever you’re not here, he speaks to me, he tells me he loves me, and that he cares. Then you turn up, and it’s back into the background. Back to the shadows with me. Everyone forgets me again, no one remembers I’m here or that I even exist. Do you have any idea how lonely that is? The only person in my life that has ever cared for me is our father, and as soon as you appear, he forgets I exist too. I wish you’d never been born.”
Quinn was speechless. She had not been expecting the tirade, but she could see how Neyv—from her skewed childlike perspective—was completely correct. Sammah kept this ghost of a girl isolated, and twisted the truth so expertly with her, the only saviour she could see was her father. This is what Sammah had tried for so long with Quinn, so he already had his practice. He’d executed it perfectly with Neyv, however.
“Honestly, I wish I’d never met Sammah. I wish had never been born, too. I’d say you’ve got no idea what it feels like to be me, but I think you know more than anybody else.”
“What did it feel like for you, when father found out that he’d won? That he’d made you change those farmers, so they’d kill those men?”
Sammah had told her about that? And Neyv didn’t care? “I felt like everything I was alive for, and everything I believed in, was pointless. I don’t want to be this person, Neyv. I don’t want Sammah to be able to use my ability to make people kill each other. I don’t want blood on my hands.
“Nerren, is the reason they think they can do this to me. Nerren started a war, and because he did it, they think I’m going to do it too. Sammah, Shiver, Pax, all they want is to use me for what I c
an do. Only two men of ever cared about me for who I really am. One of those is in Sha’sek, and the other is going to be married. He is one of Shiver’s sons and we can never be together. My life is empty, Neyv. It always was and it always will be.”
“You can change it, can’t you?”
“The only way I could change it is if I didn’t have this ability. But, I was born with it, so what can I do?”
Both girls jumped as Elias banged on the door. It was three solid blows, and there was no mistaking what the meaning of those blows was. Conversation over, and time to go to sleep. Quinn didn’t want to antagonise the man, but she didn’t want to stop now she thought she was finally getting somewhere with Neyv. The girl had finally exposed her true feelings towards Sammah. Quinn thought, if only she got the chance to explain her own feelings to Neyv, make her understand, if she was older, she’d understand why she felt these things about Sammah. They’d both been isolated growing up; the only difference between Neyv and Quinn was that Quinn had Maertn.
But that wasn’t true was it? Neyv should have had Quinn and Maertn too. She should have two elder siblings, but she had none. Both Quinn and Maertn had ignored Neyv, but why? Was it just Neyv’s ability? Could Quinn use that as an excuse, or had they both simply ignored Neyv as a younger sibling that did not affect their lives? Quinn was so confused, but Neyv didn’t give her a chance to ask any more questions. The conversation ended immediately, and the younger girl buried herself under her covers. Apparently that was enough talking for one night. Quinn wouldn’t let it end there, though. She wouldn’t rest until Neyv fully understood that her feelings towards Sammah were wrong, and that she should help Quinn to kill their father.
24
The next night, when they were left alone in their room, Quinn decided that she was going to start on Neyv earlier. She behaved herself throughout the whole day. Sammah ignored them both, apparently feeling like giving them a day off from manipulating each other. Quinn didn’t care what his reasons were, she just she was just glad of the respite. She didn’t protest when Elias led them into the room, and she didn’t say a word as the door shut behind them. She spun instead to Neyv, who was silently getting into her night clothes.
“Neyv, what we talked about yesterday, can you remember?”
“Of course. We were disagreeing about our feelings towards our father, and you were saying how you wished you’d never been born. I didn’t disagree with that.”
The words were so callous that they gave Quinn pause. Perhaps Neyv was more like Sammah than Quinn had first thought. Still, she didn’t want to stop there. The girl was young, she’d been manipulated. Quinn had to help.
“If we join together, we can beat him. Please believe me, Neyv, that it’s possible. I never used to think it would be. When I was growing up, the only person that I couldn’t sense with my empath ability, was our father.” Quinn saw Neyv’s eyes light up. She could see then that these words—the impact of their abilities on Sammah—resonated with the girl. Neyv knew that Sammah wasn’t affected by her abilities. Quinn ploughed on, clinging to this common ground that she’d found. “I used to lean on him for that. You can’t believe how noisy my life was always like. Everywhere I went, I could feel everything everyone felt, and it was absolute hell. Then, Sammah came along, and he was like a calm like after being thrown around an ocean. If I wanted peace I’d concentrate on him. I clung to him like a rock in the ocean. Because of that, he was my world. I thought everything he said was true. How can I not adore this man who gave me so much peace, and helped me to survive so long? But then I got older. I could sense more, and I became stronger. I rejected what he’d told me, because it turned out, absolutely none of it was true. I could sense Sammah, I just hadn’t been strong enough. You’re the same Neyv, I think you’ll be able to sway Sammah in the future too, you just need to grow up. You just need to be stronger.”
“How did you magically get stronger, Quinn?”
“I can’t explain it, I just did. Each time, I was near death, but I’d use my powers in an extreme way."
“You think, if I do the same as you, that I will somehow be able to manipulate our father too?”
“I do, but…”
“But what?”
“When I did it, Maertn was here. He was able to bring me back from the Beach of Bones, and that’s the only way I was able to stay alive. Each time I came back from the beach, my powers were increased. I think the same could happen to you.”
“Is Maertn here?”
“No. He’s not.”
* * *
Quinn hadn’t been the only one thinking of their conversation the previous night. Neyv had been rolling it over in her mind, too. She anticipated that Quinn was still going to try convince her to stop their father. This wasn’t good. Neyv knew that Sammah was right, and anyone else was a threat to them. Now it seemed Quinn was a threat too, and yet their father just couldn’t see it. Neyv had to kill Quinn now, not just for her own standing in her father’s eyes, but for his safety, too. Sammah might be angry when he found out, but he’d understand in the fullness of time.
If what Quinn was saying was true, then maybe one day Neyv would be stronger. Sammah would understand, like everyone else understood, that what Neyv said was right. Quinn’s words, and the way she was independent now, made Neyv hopeful that the other girl wasn’t lying. Still, Quinn was there, a barrier and a threat to all of their careful plans.
Then, the answer came to her. Her entire childhood growing up with this girl had given Neyv some familiarity with her, none of which had been returned by Quinn in kind. All of the conversations with Maertn she’d listened to, all of the bedtime stories and gossiping rumours, Neyv had let none of it go to waste. She tried to remember every little detail she could have Quinn, to try think of some way to kill this girl without Sammah really blaming her. The answer came to her when she remembered their bedtime stories. It was perfect. Neyv knew from their sessions now that Quinn was resisting Neyv because she didn’t trust her. Quinn knew when to anticipate her manipulations. So she naturally guarded herself against them. What would happen, Neyv wondered, if Quinn wasn’t guarding, and she just thought a normal bedtime story was taking place. Would she guard herself then, or would Neyv’s abilities take the empath exactly where Neyv wanted her to go?
* * *
“What if we do this a different way?”
“What you mean?” Quinn asked. “How can there be any other way? We are stuck here.”
“What if I told you, that there was a way to get rid of your abilities?”
Quinn’s mouth dropped. “That’s impossible. I’d have heard it before.”
“You have heard of it before, you just never understood the true meaning of the story."
“What story?”
“Indigo and the well of tears."
“The well?” Indigo and the Well of Tears was Quinn’s favourite bedtime story, in fact her most favourite mythological story of all time. She knew the story of Indigo inside out, and she was sure that, if there was some facet she didn’t understand, she’d have asked about it by now. There was nothing about the well that would affect her power. “You’re lying. That’s not true?” This to Quinn, sounded feasible. Other things were affecting her abilities, so why couldn’t this? The Beach of Bones was where she got stronger, and the Sea of Sighs was what had shown her full potential, whether she’d wanted to see it or not. So what if what Neyv was saying was true? What if the well really could rid Quinn of her empathic abilities? That would solve everything for Quinn. She would be free, and no one could use her again.
“The tears of the monster are the key. When Indigo sat there, and the monster wept, all of its power seeped out in those tears. The monster drowned in the loss of its own power, Quinn, and anybody with abilities, who submerges themselves in those tears for long enough, will be free.”
“But it’s just a story—the well doesn’t really exist.”
“Everfell was built around the well Quinn. You know
that. So, where in Everfell could the well be?”
“The springs—but I’ve bathed in the springs many times, and it’s never affected my ability.”
“You only bathed. What if you submerged? What if you stayed underneath the water, held your breath for long enough, what then?"
Quinn was nervous. This didn’t sound right. Her ears rang, and her mind felt cloudy. Was this Neyv playing tricks? No. Why would she say this, even with Sammah’s influence? What good did this to Sammah? None at all. No, this sounded right. Quinn wanted a solution, and Neyv was trying to help her.
“I often did that too, though. I loved it just beneath the surface, hearing just my own heartbeat. The water swirled around my ears and it was always bliss."
“But you always came back up again?”
“Of course I did, otherwise I’d have drowned.”
“You need to leave it to the last second, Quinn. You told me about the beach? It’s in those last seconds between life and death that your abilities are exposed. This way—staying to the last minute submerged underneath the waters of the well of tears—is the only way you can rid yourself of those powers.”
It made sense. It made complete and utter sense. Neyv was right, and Quinn was overjoyed. She could be rid of these powers in one simple gesture, and everything she hated about the world she was forced to live in would be gone.
“You have to help me, Neyv! You have to go with me to the well. We have to do it tonight, before Sammah finds out. He’ll know—he always knows when people start to plan things.”
Quinn was desperate. The need to go to the well and expunge her powers was so powerful, that she knew she wouldn’t sleep a wink if she didn’t try to do it tonight. “Call Elias in here. You can convince him, can’t you? He’s susceptible to your ability? We can tell him that Sammah wants us to go down there. If he takes us, and the other mercenaries see us with him; they won’t be suspicious.”
