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LOVE'S FUNNY THAT WAY
Pamela Burford
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Contents:
Prologue
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
Epilogue
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Prologue
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Jones Beach, Long Island, August 1988
"Check out the buns on that one." Amanda Coppersmith elbowed the dark-haired girl lying next to her on the tattered chenille bedspread that served as a beach blanket. "He's looking at you, Charli. Smile at him. Go ahead."
"Amanda, will you stop? He'll hear you!" Blushing through her deep summer tan, Charli Rossi dared a quick peek at the young man playing Frisbee several yards away.
On Amanda's other side, Sunny Bleecker rolled onto her stomach. She pillowed her head on her arm and pushed short auburn curls off her face. "Stop teasing her, Amanda. If you think that guy's so hot, go after him yourself." She grinned. "If you have the nerve."
"Is that a challenge?"
"I dare you."
"I double dare you," Raven Muldoon seconded, trotting up from the ocean, dripping wet. She dropped onto the blanket and butted Sunny with her hip. Her three pals scooted over to make room for her. "Who are we daring to do what?"
Charli leaned on an elbow. She whispered, "Sunny dared Amanda to talk to that cute guy."
Raven sat up and looked around. "Which cute guy?"
"Don't look!" Charli flipped onto her stomach and buried her face in her folded arms.
"The one in the neon green trunks," Amanda said, pointing.
"Nice buns." Raven pulled aside the shoulder strap of her multicolored racer-style swimsuit to check her tan lines. "I bet he's in college. Looks about twenty."
"An older man." A speculative gleam came into Amanda's eye. She tugged on her white bikini for the most alluring effect. "Maybe I will talk to him."
"Yeah, right." Raven reached into the cooler next to her for a cold can of diet cola. "You're almost as shy as Charli. You just talk big."
"Are there any Oreos left?" Sunny reached past Raven to paw through the tote bag crammed with snacks.
"What about you?" Amanda demanded of Raven. "I don't see you asking any guys out."
"I'm not shy," Raven said, releasing her ponytail and squeezing seawater out of her long, honey-colored hair. "Just discriminating."
"Yeah, that must be why none of us have boyfriends," Sunny drawled around a mouthful of cookie. "Because we are so very discriminating."
"What are you talking about?" Charli asked Sunny. "You have Kirk."
"Had Kirk."
Charli, Raven and Amanda exchanged looks of dismay.
Sunny sighed. She plucked another Oreo out of the package and just stared at it. Her customary joie de vivre seemed to have deserted her. "It's no big deal. Kirk's going to Stanford next week. I just started that waitress job at Wafflemania. We knew all along it couldn't last."
"But I thought…" Charli bit her lip. "I mean, I thought you really liked him."
"Sunny's right to call it quits," Amanda said, with her usual blunt pragmatism. "She just got a job here on Long Island. Kirk will be spending the next four years in California. Long-distance relationships are hopeless."
"I'm sorry, Sunny." Raven squeezed Sunny's shoulder, reaching out, as always, in empathy and compassion. "I was hoping you two could work something out."
"It's no big deal, okay?" Sunny hurled the Oreo onto the white sand and flopped back down onto her stomach. "It's not like we were that serious. I mean, he didn't even ask me to go out there with him. I guess he's looking forward to dating all those college girls." When no one said anything, she added, "Anyway, I won't be working at that greasy spoon for long. I won't have to—it's a great place to meet guys."
Amanda said, "And one of these guys is going to sweep you off your feet and you'll be engaged by Christmas."
"Hey, it could happen," Sunny said. "I bet I'll land a husband faster at Wafflemania than you will going to Cornell."
"But I don't want to land a husband!" Amanda said. "I want a career."
"Why can't you have both?" Charli asked.
"I'm not against marriage," Amanda said. "I'm just not fixated on it like Sunny is. We're young! We just graduated high school! Let's experience life before we think about settling down."
Sunny wadded up her T-shirt and shoved it under her head as a makeshift pillow. "I figure I'll really start experiencing life when I settle down with the right guy and we have a few kids. I want the kind of happiness my folks have. What's wrong with that?"
No one spoke for several minutes. A seagull swooped down to claim the Oreo. A pair of giggling children ran past, kicking sand onto the blanket. The girls sat up and passed around a tube of sunscreen, anointing their limbs and each other's backs.
Charli broke the silence. "We should help Sunny." The other girls looked at her questioningly. "I mean, we're her best friends, right? Getting married, having kids—it's what she wants more than anything. We should try to find someone right for her. It's how my grandma Rossi met my grandpa. Their families put them together, and they've been happy for fifty-seven years. Sometimes matchmaking works."
"Now I'm worried about both of you," Amanda said, glancing dubiously from Charli to Sunny.
Raven said, "I don't know, I think Charli has a point. How long have we all known each other?"
"Forever," Charli said, adjusting her modest one-piece swimsuit for maximum coverage. "Since kindergarten."
"So that's what?" Raven said. "Twelve years that we've been best friends."
"The Four Musketeers." Sunny's perennial smile was back in place. "That's what my dad calls us."
Charli started French-braiding Amanda's long, straight, pale blond hair. "My grandma Rossi calls us the Club Nuziale."
"What does that mean?" Amanda asked.
"The Wedding Club."
"Where'd she get that from?"
"I guess it's 'cause we're always talking about boys."
"And that means we have weddings on the brain?" Amanda rolled her eyes. "That is so old-fashioned."
"That's my grandma Rossi," Charli said with a fond smile.
Sunny leaned back on her palms. "Old-fashioned doesn't necessarily mean bad."
"The Wedding Club," Raven mused. "I kind of like that."
"Oh, no, not you, too!" Amanda threw her damp towel at Raven.
Raven tossed the towel aside and sat cross-legged, facing the others. "Or how about this? We're the Wedding Ring." She waited while her friends groaned at the double entendre, and added, "The thing is, we've been best friends forever. We've been through a lot together."
"Even Amanda's crush on Mr. Richards," Sunny teased.
"Hey, at least I never had a thing for Jimmy 'the Missing Link' de Luca," Amanda retorted.
The girls groaned even louder, and Sunny hollered, "I was twelve! I couldn't take my eyes off that brow ridge! Are you guys ever going to let me live that down?"
"We never told anyone else." Charli secured Amanda's French braid with a hair tie. "Our secrets are secret."
"The point is," Raven continued, "we've always been there for each other, no matter what."
"And we always will be," Sunny vowed.
Raven said, "We know we all want to get married someday. Some of us want to get married tomorrow." She gave Sunny a good-natured shove. "I like what Charli said about helping Sunny. I like to think we'd all pitch in and give that kind of help to any of us that needed it."
Amanda wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about? Like playing matchmaker for each other?"
Raven's eyes lit with excitement. "That's exactly what I'm talking about."<
br />
"Give me a break," Amanda said. "We're not the kind of losers that need help getting dates."
The instant the words left her tongue, Amanda clamped her lips shut. But it was too late. In the charged silence that followed, no one looked at Charli, now seemingly preoccupied by the tufted pattern of the chenille beach blanket.
With gentle diplomacy Raven said, "Well, speaking for myself, there are times I can use al the help I can get."
"Well, speaking for myself," Sunny stated, "I'm not so desperate that I need someone else picking my husband. Talk to me when I'm twenty."
"So let's agree to do that," Charli said. "When Sunny turns twenty, if she's not married, not engaged or anything, the rest of us will find her a husband."
"Uh-uh." Sunny raised a palm. "This deal has to be for all of us. No way am I going to be singled out."
"Then it can't be age twenty," Amanda said. "I'll still be in college at twenty. And I'm probably going to graduate school after that."
"Twenty-five then," Raven said.
"No good. I need time to establish a career first." Amanda pulled on the oversize T-shirt that doubled as a beach cover-up. "Make it thirty or count me out." Sunny laughed. "Thirty! Al right, I'll help you guys find men when you're thirty. Maybe my husband and five kids will help."
Charli asked, "What if the one who's, you know, being matchmade doesn't like the guy the others choose for her?"
Raven gave it some thought. "Well … she has to give him a chance. A set period of time that she's got to keep seeing him, as long as he's interested."
"Even if he's, like, a pig?" Amanda asked.
"We're not going to set each other up with pigs," Sunny said. "We have to trust each other—like, even if you don't think the guy's anything special to start with, maybe your best friends, who know you better than anyone in the world, know better than you what you need."
"Or who you need," Raven added. "So how does three months sound? The one being set up has to go steady with the guy for three months before giving him the old heave-ho."
The others murmured agreement.
"Do we tell the guy he's part of a matchmaking thing?" Charli asked, clearly concerned about the technicalities, as if her turning thirty unmarried were a foregone conclusion.
"No way." Sunny shook her head vigorously. "I'd die of embarrassment. It's got to be done without him knowing."
"Why will you die of embarrassment?" Amanda asked with a smirk. "I thought you were going to be the one with the husband and five kids by thirty."
Sunny made a face at her.
Raven said, "We all have to agree to this pact. So think it over, everyone." She followed this immediately with, "Okay, time's up. Deal?"
"Deal," Charli said.
"I'm in." Sunny turned to Amanda. "How about it?"
"Oh, what the heck. It oughta be good for a laugh."
Raven thrust her arm toward the others. Initiating the group handclasp that had accompanied every solemn promise they'd made since kindergarten. Her friends followed suit, twining their fingers and holding firm.
"The Wedding Ring is hereby established," Raven intoned.
"Even though none of us will need it," Sunny added.
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Chapter 1
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"It was your idea, Raven."
"How many times are you going to remind me?" Raven pushed away the heavy plate containing the crumbled remains of her corn muffin, and leaned her elbows on the table. She faced Amanda's smug grin straight on. "We were kids when we made that pact. Just out of high school. With stars in our eyes."
Amanda adjusted the silk scarf adorning the neckline of her cranberry-colored, wool crepe pantsuit. "You seemed pretty darn serious about it at the time. You took a solemn vow, if memory serves. And it was all your—"
"Don't say it again."
They occupied their regular table at Wafflemania, a square four-seater tucked into the corner of the non-smoking section. With her back to the door, Raven didn't notice Charli's arrival until she pulled out one of the empty chairs and dropped into it, still wearing her loden-colored wool overcoat.
The passage of years had mellowed Charli's plain, strong features. Right now, with her hair windblown and her cheeks pink from the cold, she could almost be called pretty, though Raven doubted Charli would ever think of herself as anything but Mr. and Mrs. Rossi's shy, homely youngest daughter.
"I would've been here sooner," Charli said, "but one of my symphonic band students needed help with a difficult piece."
"Raven's trying to weasel out of the Wedding Ring pact," Amanda said.
Charli gaped at Raven. "But weal agreed! We made a promise to each other! We've never broken our promises. Not ever."
"Nobody's breaking a promise. I just choose not to accept your help in finding a husband, that's all."
A hand appeared with a bulbous coffee carafe. "It doesn't work that way," Sunny said, as she expertly refilled Raven's mug. "You're not allowed to back out now."
"I don't recall that particular stipulation."
"I do." Sunny winked at her coconspirators. "You guys remember that part, don't you? Nobody's allowed to chicken out when it's her turn?"
"The 'chicken clause.'" Charli slipped out of her coat. "How could I forget?"
Amanda flapped her elbows and ducked her little heart out, drawing stares from other diners.
Raven groaned. "Why me?"
"Because you're the first one of us to turn thirty," Charli answered.
Amanda leaned back with a wicked grin. "Didn't think of that when you proposed this little scheme, huh? Did I mention it was all your idea?"
Sunny glanced around furtively—looking for her tyrant of a boss, no doubt—before perching on the edge of the vacant chair. Her sickly pink, polyester waitress uniform was as ugly and unflattering now as when she'd first stepped into it a dozen years earlier. Today it sported a coffee stain near the hem of the short skirt. Sunny's long, wavy auburn hair was secured in a braid that fell halfway down her back.
"Did you tell her about the guy?" Sunny asked.
"You picked someone already?"
"Amanda found him," Charli said. "He works with her."
"Wait a minute." Raven held her hands up as if to derail this runaway matchmaking train she'd set in motion. "I never agreed to this."
"Sure you did," Sunny corrected her. "Twelve years ago."
"His name is Brent Radley. He's the sales manager at Grasshopper," Amanda said, naming the children's magazine she published. "He's outgoing, fun-loving, not to mention—" she sent Raven a pointed look "—a stone hunk."
"If this guy's so great, how come you're not going after him yourself?"
"Two ex-husbands are more than enough for one lifetime, thank you very much."
"Who says you have to marry him?" Raven asked. "Just have some fun. Your last divorce was final two months ago. When are you going to start dating again?"
"When and if I start dating again, I intend to steer clear of marriage-minded men. There's no way I'm walking down the aisle a third time."
"But the pact," Charli said.
"The pact is for those of us who want a husband," Amanda said. "In any event, Brent is thirty-four, never married, and I get the feeling he's thinking about finding that special gal and settling down. I told him about you, Raven."
"You didn't mention the Wedding Ring pact, did you?" Charli asked.
"Of course not. He just thinks I'm setting him up with a friend." She said to Raven, "He'll be at your place at seven-thirty. Dress casual."
"Tonight?"
"I didn't want to give you too much time to work yourself up over it."
"You set me up with a blind date? You know I hate blind dates!"
Sunny said, "Relax. You'll probably have a great time. Brent's the type to put you right at ease."
"He seems like a really nice man," Charli said.
"You two have met him?" Raven stared at her best friends. "You arranged this alread
y, behind my back."
"Just give him a chance," Sunny said. "Hey, maybe you can hypnotize Brent to fall madly in love with you." She wiggled her fingers along her line of sight and spoke in a monotone. "You are growing sleepy. You have an irresistible urge to make a down payment on a five-carat diamond."
"If it were that easy, I'd have been married long ago. Now, if this Brent wants to quit smoking or lose weight, then we're in business."
Raven had been a hypnotherapist for six years, operating a thriving private practice out of her home. She gained tremendous satisfaction using therapeutic hypnosis to help her clients improve their lives, whether their aim was to eliminate destructive habits, overcome phobias or simply improve their golf score.
From across the room, Sunny's boss, Mike, caught her eye and gestured impatiently at a table of new arrivals awaiting service. Sunny grumbled, "Hold your horses," and rose to her feet.
Raven sighed in exasperation. "All right. I'll give him a chance. One date."
"Three months," Amanda said. "As long as he's interested, you have to stick it out for three months. Now, who was it who suggested that rule? Oh yeah, wasn't it—"
"Just wait till it's your turn," Raven warned.
"Even if I were in the market for a husband, I'm last in line. Charli's next—she turns thirty in April."
Charli bit back a nervous smile. Raven reached across the table and squeezed her hand. Charli needed all the support and reassurance she could get.
"Then it'll be my turn." Sunny picked up the coffee carafe. "My birthday's July 1. You won't have to twist my arm."
"Do us a favor," Amanda drawled. "Don't book the reception till you've at least met the groom."
Mike started to stalk in their direction, prompting Sunny to hightail it to the unattended table. But not before she'd muttered, "I can't believe I'm still working in this dump."
Raven slumped in her chair, wishing she'd kept her big mouth shut all those years ago.
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"This is a great spot," Raven observed, glancing around the interior of Stitches, the comedy club Brent had brought her to. Their table was right next to the stage.
LOVE'S FUNNY THAT WAY Page 1
