by Anya Byrne
Fuming, Saul tuned the other werewolves out and focused on his incipient mate bond with Gavin. The human was hurt, frightened and confused, and his pain was Saul's fault. Once Saul got out of this mess, he'd have to do a lot of groveling to get Gavin to forgive him. He hoped that it wouldn't last more than a few days. Not even the elders could manipulate werewolf law, and the truth was that Saul hadn't done anything to warrant this treatment. He just needed to hang in there for a little while, and then he could return to Gavin and lavish his beautiful human with attention without risking Gavin's safety.
Even with that knowledge, Saul was fuming by the time they reached pack lands. When the car stopped in front of the Alpha mansion and his would-be guards let him out, Saul couldn't help but snarl at them. "Calm down," Finn told him. "You're not doing yourself any favors."
"Shut the fuck up, Finn," Saul growled. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your self-righteous crap."
Finn bared his teeth, exposing his elongated canines. Saul mimicked his brother, his skin already rippling with power, with the incipient change. They would have undoubtedly started to fight if their father, Pack Alpha Dean Simmons, hadn't shown up.
"Finn, I gave you specific instructions to reason with your brother," he said. "I didn't say to escort him here like you would some sort of criminal."
Saul could barely suppress a smirk of satisfaction, while Finn's shoulders slumped. "But the elders..." he tried to protest.
"I am the Alpha here, not them. I take the final decision, and you obey me not them. Is that clear?"
His father spoke calmly, but the heavy weight of the Alpha voice brought everyone except Finn and Saul to their knees. Still, both of them bowed as per the custom. "I understand, Father," Finn said.
A female figure rushed from behind them and pounced on Finn, embracing him tightly. "Welcome home, Finn," she said.
Normally, Saul would have made some acerbic comment regarding the behavior of Finn's mate. He'd never liked Lisbet, and the feeling was completely mutual. He held his tongue now, because his newly mated status made him feel somehow more empathetic to the bond between Finn and Lisbet.
Turning toward his father, he asked, "Can we just get this over with? Finn has refused to tell me what I'm accused of."
"You attacked a human in broad daylight, in the center of the city," Lisbet replied in his father's stead. "You exposed your werewolf nature to that human. How can you even—"
"Lisbet, that's quite enough," Saul's father interrupted her. "Hold your tongue and remember your place. Saul, come with me."
Saul followed behind his father as the other man entered the mansion. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised that Lisbet had been the spy. "She's lying," he said.
"So you didn't attack a human then?" his father inquired without looking at him.
"It's... complicated," Saul replied. "It was hardly an event worth noticing. It was in the dead of night, and the guy insulted me."
His father hummed thoughtfully, but didn't say anything else. They veered off their current corridor and walked up to a small, almost invisible door. As they stepped through it, they entered the private interior garden that was always used for private meetings involving the Alpha or the elders.
The elders were already there, in their shifter form, their graying fur attesting their age. As Saul and his father approached, they changed shapes, abandoning their wolf forms for their human ones. It was very rare for them to do that—as a rule, they just stayed in their shifted form. Then again, as a rule, they stayed the fuck out of pack business.
His father shot him a warning glance, and Saul acknowledged his father's silent command with a nod. He'd do his best to be respectful, but he had no intention to allow them to walk over him.
"Alpha Simmons, Saul," the oldest of the group, a former Alpha bitch named Margot said, "thank you for coming."
It wasn't like Saul had been given much choice, but that seemed beside the point now. "You wanted to see me?" he asked.
"Indeed," a werewolf male named Terrence said. "It has come to our attention that you've been reckless in your dealings with the humans. Reputable sources tell us that you've endangered our entire species through your actions."
Saul snorted. Reputable sources. Right. Terrence would say that, since Lisbet was his granddaughter. "That's an exaggeration to say the least. What happened was that—"
"We know what you did," Terrence cut him off. "Don't humiliate yourself, or us by denying it. You have one advantage on your side now, the fact that you are a born Alpha."
And here they got to the crux of the matter. "Yes, and? I'm not that rare. My brother is a born Alpha too. He's already mated. You don't need me."
"Your brother is a very valuable member of the pack, but that doesn't make you superfluous. The strength of the pups is waning. The genes of born Alphas are known to produce stronger pups, and we need that for the power of the whole pack."
"I'm sure my brother would be happy to provide you with as many strong pups as you desire," Saul answered.
"Unfortunately, this full moon, we discovered Lisbet is having some trouble conceiving," a third elder called Samuel said.
Terrence didn't seem happy at having that little tidbit revealed, but Saul couldn't help it. He laughed. "Perhaps she'd have more luck with it if she stopped spying on other people and used the full moon for her own benefit."
"Her private life is none of your concern," Terrence replied bitingly.
"And yet, my private life seems to be the focus of the entire pack. Love the double standard."
"Stop this," Margot intervened. "Here's what's going to happen. You have until the next full moon to choose a female mate from the pack. In the meantime, we will be watching you, and if you try to escape, we will deem you rogue."
"And if I refuse to choose a mate?" Saul asked. "I don't know how to tell you this, but as the humans would say, I'm as queer as a three dollar bill."
Terrence grimaced. "Your sexual interests are your own affair, but they don't keep you from doing your duty to the pack."
"I don't think you understand," Saul drawled. "I can only impregnate a female if I actually fuck her, and my dick isn't agreeable with that idea."
"You've coupled with females before," Margot pointed out.
Saul hated to say it, but she had a point. During his youth, when he'd been confused about his sexuality, he had slept with women. But now, he couldn't be aroused by any other person except Gavin. "Well, it won't happen again."
His father finally intervened in the conversation. "Fair enough, Saul. We can't force you to pick a mate if you truly don't want to. But Lisbet's accusations are serious, and I can't just let that slide."
"Lisbet is full of shit," Saul snapped back. "The guy insulted me and I pinned him against the wall. He was so drunk he probably won't even remember getting to that street. If he does recall something, he'd imagine it was all a dream."
"Probably," his father said, repeating Saul's own words. "You don't know that, and we can't go with guesses when it comes to the safety of our kind. You're aware of this, Saul."
The entire affair disgusted Saul. "Father, I won't ever mate a woman. I never thought you'd go along with what the elders say and blackmail me into choosing someone I can't love. That's not what a real Alpha, my Alpha would do."
That was what truly disappointed Saul. He'd come here because he'd trusted his father to do the right thing, but apparently, he'd made a serious miscalculation in that regard. Moon be blessed, his father had actually seemed open to listening to reason before this meeting, but now, he was showing his true colors.
His father narrowed his eyes at Saul. "Are you challenging me, Saul? Be very careful with what you say."
"I'm just giving you something to think about," Saul answered. He had no desire to fight his father. Even if he did win—which seemed likely given that he was one of the strongest wolves in the pack—he didn't want to be the new Alpha, and he still loved and respected his father too much
to take that step.
"Well then, the matter is easy enough. You will do what you're told. You don't even need to take a mate. I believe Lisbet would be agreeable to carrying your litter."
Saul was quickly losing his patience with the entire conversation. He couldn't believe any of them thought he'd touch his brother's mate. "Lisbet is Finn's mate, and I have no interest in her. And with all due respect, Father, if you wanted a broodmare—or a stallion to impregnate one—you should have been a horse-shifter."
He knew he'd crossed the line even as he said the words. His father might have let the comment go if they'd been in private, but with the audience they had, he couldn't do so. Releasing an angry snarl, he melted into his werewolf form, his clothes ripping as he changed shapes.
Saul was done clinging to scruples. He changed shapes as well, jumping back on four paws even as he freed himself from his now-torn garments. His father was already lunging toward him, but Saul danced away from him, evading his father's claws.
Truth be told, Saul hated fighting with fellow members of the pack, which was actually why he'd become so good at it. The automatic fear factor that came with being one of the strongest wolves meant he didn't have to actually hurt anyone to prove a point. But right now, he himself was angry and hurt. He still felt Gavin's fear and pain, and in his wolf shape, those emotions triggered a ferocious instinct, unleashing the beast that regularly hid behind his calmer exterior.
And so, he didn't waste his time with tiring out his older opponent and draining his stamina like he might have done under different circumstances. He just attacked ruthlessly, pouring all of his anger and need for Gavin into the lunge, melting it into raw power.
His father tried to sidestep him, but Saul's claws still raked over his chest. Of course, that didn't mean the other wolf was beaten. Saul might have drawn first blood, but it just made his father attack more fiercely.
He got a good bite in, nearly maiming Saul's front paw. But Saul barely even felt the pain. The injustice of it, the fact that he was expected to be something he was not, infuriated him so much he could barely see straight.
When he attacked again, he used his claws, fangs and his full bulk to his advantage, sending the other wolf to the floor. He bit and shredded flesh, tired of being abused and ordered around when all he wanted was to be with his mate. His father tried to fight back, clawing at Saul's exposed belly, but he was only half-successful. In the end, Saul pinned him to the ground, his fangs looming over the other wolf's jugular. If he wanted, he could have ended his father's life on the spot, and no one could have said anything about it, since it had been a fair battle for dominance initiated by the older wolf.
Instead, he growled, telling his father to surrender to him. Fortunately, the other wolf didn't force him into doing something Saul really didn't want. He bared his neck, and his submission effectively ended the battle. Saul leapt back, releasing the other wolf from his hold and already shifting into his human form.
"By werewolf law, I am now leader of this pack," he said, "but I don't want it. I'm done here. Call me a rogue for all I care. If you come after me, you will regret it."
He turned, ready to go and return to his mate's side. He caught one glimpse of Lisbet standing in the doorway, holding one of the enforcers' guns. It was one single moment during which Saul knew he had to move. And he tried to do it, tried to drop down and dodge the proverbial bullet, but for once, he wasn't fast enough.
The silver struck him straight in the chest. If it had been a regular bullet, Saul could have easily recovered from it—with some pain, yes, but no real problems. Alas, his natural allergy to the silver in, and he collapsed on the floor, writhing. Unable to keep hold of his human form, he melted into his wolf.
The elders surrounded him, leaning over him and eyeing him like he was a piece of meat. By rights, they should have punished Lisbet for her actions—she had attacked the new Alpha in a treacherous manner, outside a real challenge. They didn't. Terrence actually clapped while the other elders watched impassively.
"Good job, Lisbet. He truly is magnificent. He'll make for a nice replacement for your mate."
Saul couldn't even understand what in the world the elders were talking about, but he did register the moment his father leaned over him, now in human form. "Moon be blessed, Saul..." the other werewolf whispered. "Can you hear me?"
Saul managed to release a small, tormented whimper. The poison from the silver was already entering his blood stream, and he knew that any moment now, he'd lose consciousness.
"Finn!" his father shouted, calling for his brother. "Get a doctor in here."
Saul heard rushed footsteps, his brother's voice, then agitated murmurs somewhere in the distance. All the while, his father kept trying to help him, murmuring comforting whispers to Saul.
"Stop being so dramatic, Dean," Terrence said. "He'll be fine. He's a born Alpha, and he will do his duty to—"
"Enough!" his father interrupted the elder, temporarily looking away from Saul. "I don't care about what you have to say. I don't care what definitions you give to this duty you keep speaking off. I'm sick and tired of living under your threats. You've gone too far this time, and you will pay for it if it's the last thing I do."
"And who will make me pay?" Terrence laughed. "You? You don't deserve to be Alpha. You are weak. You—"
The last of the words were interrupted by a garbled scream as the Alpha shot to his feet, lifted his claws and raked them over the elder's face.
"Yes, I am weak," he said calmly. "I was weak when I didn't pursue my dream, when I let people like you guide my choices instead of claiming my true mate. I did get two wonderful sons out of it, but I'll always regret losing my other half. And I'll be damned if I'll allow any of you to tarnish that memory, or hurt my beloved sons."
The exchange confused Saul, which given his current condition, wasn't surprising. However, he could still experience a measure of satisfaction as Terrence staggered back, and Lisbet released a gasp. "This is an outrage," she said. "You can't do this."
"Oh, yes, I can. Until my son can claim his rightful position as Alpha, I am still the leader of this pack. And guess what, Lisbet? You're out of it. You're officially rogue. You shot my son, a member of your own pack, to achieve your own ends. Get off my pack lands before I hunt you down and kill you myself."
With that, Saul's father knelt next to him once more. "It's all right," he said, caressing Saul's fur. "We'll take care of you, son."
That was the last thing Saul registered before the burn from his wound spread out all over his body and the world went black.
Chapter Seven
Two weeks later
He was running out of ham. Gavin eyed the contents of the fridge in displeasure and retrieved the last of the product. "I need to go shopping," he mumbled under his breath.
As he carried his prey to the counter, Jessie sighed heavily. "Hon, I'm worried about you. Eating won't help you snap out of this funk and gaining weight won't do anything for your self-esteem."
Gavin ignored him. He added three slices of ham to his sandwich, then mentally said a ‘what the hell' and added the remaining three. Jessie released a disgruntled groan. He tried to reach for Gavin's sandwich, but retreated when Gavin shot him an ugly look. "You have to do something about this depression you're in. Hell, I hate to say this, but you might be better off calling Richard again."
"I don't want to call Richard." Gavin bit down on the sandwich and moaned in delight. "Damn this is really good. I really need to buy more of this ham."
"You're acting really strangely, Gav," Jessie pointed out. "You didn't even like this type of food before."
"I know, Jess," Gavin replied between bites. "But people change, right?"
He finished the sandwich and licked his fingers. Damn, he was still hungry. He hated to admit it, but he probably did have an eating problem. Lately, he just seemed to be stuffing himself with all sorts of food, mostly meats, and he never quite had enough.
S
adly, his appetite also came with an even less welcome development. No sooner had he finished eating the sandwich than nausea roiled inside him. Gavin rushed to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, already heaving. His friend ran after him, kneeling by his side and supporting him as he threw up.
After he was finished, Jessie helped him up. Gavin leaned over the sink, washed his face and brushed his teeth. All the while, Jessie watched him in obvious concern. "If your tests hadn't come out clear, I'd almost suspect you had hepatitis, although given the whole eating-throwing up thing, bulimia seems more likely."
Jessie didn't point out they couldn't be sure Gavin was in the clear until he repeated the tests in a few months time. That was something Gavin actively tried not to think about, and he was thankful for his friend not prodding unnecessarily at the wound.
"I'm not bulimic," he answered morosely. "I'm too fat for that."
He pulled up his shirt and looked at his now distended belly. Jessie blinked. "Wow, you put even more weight than I realized. Gav, this can't be healthy. You seriously need to see a doctor. This could be a tumor of sorts."
Gavin wasn't listening anymore. He didn't know why, but he tentatively touched his stomach, waiting. And then, he felt it. A kick seemed to strike his palm—from inside his body.
Gavin nearly screamed. He slid to the floor, more terrified than ever. Jessie knelt next to him. "Gav, what is it? Are you okay?"
"I... I don't know. I felt something."
Jessie just stared at him in confusion. "Something?" he repeated. "What?"
"Inside me, from my stomach. Like... a movement."
"Well, I supposed your intestines are quite traumatized with all the throwing up you're doing," Jessie answered.
Gavin shook his head and grabbed Jessie's hand, placing it on his belly. That was when he felt it again, the kick. Jessie gasped. "Holy shit, Gav. What in the world was that?"
