by Leah Atwood
“Don’t apologize. I can’t imagine believing anything you said if you didn’t speak with confidence.”
“I could continue telling you about more people, but the truth is, the Bible is filled with flawed people because only God is perfect. We all need Him, from the murderers to the liars to the gossipers.”
“It’s a lot to take in.”
“I know. I was raised in church, and I still don’t have all the answers.” He laid an arm on the top of the sofa and spoke softly but emphatically. “One thing I absolutely do know and believe is that anyone who wants to believe in Him will be accepted by Him.”
“Thank you for listening and answering my questions.” The more he said, the more convinced she became that her mom was wrong. Sybil saw something in Jared that she wanted. She held up the Bible. “Could I borrow this for a few days?”
He nodded. “Keep it as long as you need.”
“Thanks.” She yawned and checked the time. Goodness, she hadn’t realized she’d been there two hours, and she still had more to tell him. “Do you have a few more minutes? There’s something else I wanted to tell you.”
“I’ve got plenty of time.”
She wrung her hands. Once she said it, she wouldn’t be able to take it back, but she knew it was the right decision. “I’ve decided to not to give our little girl up for adoption. I want to raise her, with your help if you haven’t changed your mind.”
“That’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks. You’ll be a great mom.” He leaned over and drew her into an embrace. “Thank you.”
The warmth of his arms reached into her soul. He believed in her and her ability to raise their daughter. The awesome responsibility lurking ahead terrified her, but she wouldn’t let Jared down. For their daughter’s sake, she would do everything in her power to be a good mom and break the cycle.
Chapter Eleven
Jared sat in the parking lot, staring at the gigantic inflatable turkey in front of the store. Even though it was the first week of November, he was surprised to see harvest décor instead of Christmas, such was the nature of retail these days.
Of all years, he wanted to savor the Thanksgiving holiday approaching. This time last year, he’d been a broken mess. What a difference time—and a hunk of soul searching—made.
Sybil nudged him from the passenger seat. “Penny for your thoughts?”
Her pregnant stomach could no longer be hidden by the right clothes, and he found her beautiful. How could he not when she carried their child?
“Thinking about Thanksgiving and all I’m grateful for, including you.” He sent her a smile from across the truck cab. “This year turned out nothing like I expected, but I don’t regret any of it.”
“Me either.” She rested a palm against her stomach. “When I found out I was pregnant, the world shifted under my feet, but everything is falling into place.”
“Yes. Including telling my mom and sister.” The memory brought a smile. “I shouldn’t have worried about upsetting Cara. Her grace knows no limits.”
“I knew she’d be happy for you. Your mom, as well.” Sybil’s featherlight touch on his shoulder sent small pulses through him. “After everything you’ve told me, I feel like I know them, and they are strong women, full of love.”
“They’re pretty great.”
“I’m happy that Brilyn will have at least one grandparent to love her.”
He rose a brow. “Did you forget to tell me we decided on a name?”
“Well, It’s the only one for now we both like; so that’s how I’ve been thinking of her. What do you think?”
“Brilyn Scott. It has a nice ring to it.” The name rolled off his tongue. “Thanks for agreeing she’d take my last name.”
“The Scott name means more than Hollis.” Sybil frowned and unbuckled. “Your family has a legacy of strength. I’d rather her be a part of that.”
“I wish I could go back in time and change your childhood.”
Her lips contorted to a combined frown and smirk. “Thanks for the thought, but I’m okay. Really. Brilyn will have everything I didn’t—strength—and most of all, unconditional love.”
Pride for Sybil engulfed him. “You are a strong woman. Don’t ever doubt yourself.”
She smiled her acknowledgment, then pointed toward the store. “We should get in there before the early Christmas shoppers pour in.”
Rubbing his hands together, he grinned. “Baby gear, here we come.”
“Don’t forget our budget.” Her eyes narrowed with a warning, but her smiled softened her words.
“I know, I know.” He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “You’ve only reminded me a hundred times.”
“Because I know you.” She shook a finger. “You’ll have her spoiled before she arrives.”
He winked. “Your point?”
“It’s a losing battle, isn’t it?”
“Not yet. I’ll stick to the budget we decided on.” He jumped out of the truck, but right before closing the door, added, “Unless I see a must-have.”
A hearty laughed escaped when he saw her roll her eyes. He opened her door, and she got out, shaking her head and laughing.
Once inside, they went to the baby side of the store. Shelves upon shelves of baby feeding gear greeted them. They walked to the back of the store where the furniture and bedding was located.
The sheer level of options overwhelmed him. “Where do we start?”
A wide-eyed Sybil looked back at him. “Furniture?”
“I know we decided on one set for now, but I’d like at least a cheap crib for my house.” He wanted to experience everything about being a dad, even getting up in the middle of the night, and Sybil had agreed he could keep the baby at his house several nights a week. He was certain she’d only agreed because they lived so close to each other. “I’ll pay for it, of course.”
“That’s your call. If you want to, go for it, but I’d hate to see you spend that money when she could sleep in one of those portable cribs for the nights she stays with you.”
The price tag on a crib—one he’d consider basic—caught his eye. His eyed bulged. His own bedroom set had cost less. “I can always pick one up later.”
“What theme should the nursery be?” Sybil’s head turned slowly, examining all the quilts along the wall and displayed on the cribs. “I go back and forth between girly with pink and ruffles, or going with a neutral theme.”
“Neutral gets my vote.” The corners of his lips turned up. “Of course, I’m a guy, so pink ruffles aren’t quite my thing.”
Sybil crossed her arms and stared at him with arched brows. “Who stopped by last week with a sleeper for her full of pink and ruffles?”
“That’s different. I don’t want anyone to think she’s a boy, especially if she doesn’t have hair at first.”
“Giraffes!” She left her exclamation in the dust and went running to a display twenty feet away.
He caught up with her in several long strides and saw what stole her attention. “A jungle theme?”
“No, look, this one is strictly giraffes. Jungle themes are fun, but giraffes are the stars. I’ve never seen one with only them.” The excitement in her voice matched the light in her eyes.
“I like giraffes.” He would have agreed to skunks if it kept that smile on her face.
She held a card attached to the crib. “These are the pieces available. I don’t want the bumper, but I would like extra crib sheets. Oh, and there is a matching wallpaper border.”
“You know more about this than I do.” He shrugged. “Get whatever you want and think is necessary.”
“I definitely want the lamp and mobile.” Concentrating hard, she wrinkled her nose. She took out a wallet-sized memo pad and began writing a list. “I want extra sheets, but could save money if I buy plain colors. Goodness, so many decisions and we’ve only begun.”
He stood back, offering his input when asked. His enjoyment came from watching her, seeing her thrilled to welcome this b
aby into their lives. Thank You, Lord, for her decision not to give up our child.
Two hours later, they left the store. All the furniture they’d purchased loaded down the bed of his truck. The only piece missing was the gliding rocker which was out of stock, and they’d had to order it. With everything they’d bought, they would have had to make a second trip, anyway. Even the back seat of the cab overflowed with bags and boxes. A baby swing, an infant tub, half a dozen outfits and many other items Sybil had insisted were needed.
They’d exceeded the budget by a nominal amount, and she’d tried to pay the difference, but he stood firm. He wanted to buy Brilyn all she’d need to be welcomed into the world.
“It’s a good thing we went early. If we’d gone any later, I wouldn’t have time to put all this together today,” he said, pulling out of the loading area.
“I’ll help, and no one said we have to finish it today.”
“No, but I know you’d like to have it done.” He tossed her a smile. “Why else would you have insisted on cleaning out your spare room for a nursery last night?”
She lifted one shoulder. “Hey, we need a spot to store everything.”
“Whatever you say.” He winked then paid attention to the road. “I’d rather assemble it all at once, anyway. In my experience, once you get in the groove of a process, it goes easier.”
“I’ll cook dinner for us.”
“You can cook?” The question slipped off his tongue without him thinking.
“Yes. I just don’t advertise the fact lest people expect it of me.” Her jocular attitude created a pleasant atmosphere.
He made a zipping motion over his lips. “Your secret is safe with me.”
Her stomach growled. “Here we are talking about dinner and haven’t even had lunch yet.”
“Want to pick up sandwiches on the way home?”
“Sounds good to me.”
He detoured into the deli and started to exit the truck when he saw the heaviness in Sybil’s eyes. “What do you want? I’ll run in and get them for us.”
“Chicken salad on rye with a dollop of extra mayo. Thank you.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes.
Five minutes later, he came back to the truck with a bag of food in hand.
Sybil raised her head when he opened the door. “That was quick.”
“No line.”
“Another minute and I would have fallen asleep.” She rubbed her eyes. “I can’t get enough sleep, and all the moms at work tell me it only gets worse.”
“Take a nap when we get back.” He worried about her and the circles forming under her eyes. “I can get started without you knowing I’m there.”
“I’ll be fine. This is my new normal.” She eyed the bag. “What did you get?”
“Roast beef and cheddar.” He handed her the sack. “I forgot to ask what side you wanted. I picked up potato salad and chips. Whichever you don’t want, I’ll take.”
“Chips are good.”
They ate in the truck so they could get busy at the house right away. By the time they reached her house, Sybil’s head would drift to the side then she’d pop up awake. He knew the full extent of her exhaustion when she went straight to her room without an argument and took a nap.
While she slept, he unloaded the truck, bringing in their purchases as silently as he could. He staged the boxes in the hallway and living room and started the nursery transformation by applying the border. It would be easier to do it now before everything else came into the room.
After he found the border in one of the filled bags, he realized he’d left his toolbox in the truck. He retrieved it and came back inside, dug out the level. They’d purchased the easy hang border that only required removing the backing, but since Sybil wanted it midway up the walls and not at the very top, he had to mark guide notches along the way to stay even and level.
Satisfaction filled him once he finished and stepped back to view the results. Amazing how one small addition to the room changed its entire countenance. The beige walls complemented the earth-toned border, and the smiling giraffes created a welcoming air. He imagined spending evenings in here, rocking Brilyn to sleep before returning to his own home.
Sybil, Brilyn, and he wouldn’t be a traditional family, but they’d be a family, nonetheless. And he wouldn’t give up on one day marrying Sybil. He wouldn’t ask again until they fell in love, but his heart told him that would come shortly. They’d made their share of mistakes, but they hadn’t been in vain. This baby was their little miracle. Before she’d even been born, she’d brought healing to her mom and dad.
Content and at peace, he dragged the crib box into the nursery. Took out his pocket knife and cut away the packing tape. Piece by piece he unloaded the box, stacking each component in piles separated by which part of the crib they belonged to. He took the empty box and Styrofoam placeholders out of the room to clear his workspace then got to work.
He’d finished the crib and was halfway done with the changing table when Sybil walked in.
Her hair stuck out from her ponytail, and the right half of her face boasted a red spot telling him which side she’d slept on. Wrinkles covered the shirt she wore and sleep lingered in her eyes. She looked a mess.
But a beautiful soon-to-be-mom-to-his-daughter mess.
She covered her mouth from a yawn. “You’ve been busy.”
“It’s coming together.” He waved a hand toward the hallway. “I shouldn’t have a problem finishing it all tonight.”
“How long have I been asleep?” She looked at her wrist for a watch that wasn’t there.
“A few hours give or take.” Three hours and fifteen minutes to be exact, but he didn’t want her feeling guilty for taking a nap she needed.
“I’m going to get a drink then I’ll be back to help. Want anything?”
“No thanks.” He held a screw to the next hole in the leg. “I helped myself to a bottle of water earlier.”
He finished attaching the legs to the top and then started on the shelves.
Sybil reappeared with a cup of juice in hand. “How come you didn’t tell me it’s four o’clock already. You should have woken me up to help.”
“Your body obviously needed the rest.” Not to mention he wasn’t going to invade the privacy of her bedroom. The new Jared had boundaries.
Unease bounced off her. She bit her lower lip and slouched her shoulders.
“Are you okay?” He set the screwdriver aside and stood, walked to her.
“Yes. It’s just, I should run out to the store. I fell asleep before setting out the Italian sausage to thaw for the lasagna.”
What am I missing? “Why don’t we order delivery and you can cook another night.”
“But I promised you I would cook.” She burst into tears.
Oh, man. Was this one of those infamous pregnancy mood swings? “If you want to run out to the store and make the lasagna, that’s fine, but I don’t mind ordering out. Or I could even cook something if you wanted me to. Whatever’s easiest for you.”
The tears turned into a deluge, keeping Jared confused.
“I’m not good at this,” she said between sniffles. “You’ve been working non-stop, while I’ve been lazy. If I go to the store that’s less time to help you.”
Definitely hormones. It never crossed his mind to think she’d been lazy. That was one word he’d never attach to Sybil, but clearly, she’d convinced herself she was.
When the crying didn’t stop, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a comforting embrace. Whispered soothing words in her ear. “You are not lazy. You’re growing a baby inside of you, and that’s hard and important work. We’re in this together, and I’d never think less of you for resting to take care of yourself, which is taking care of our baby. You are a fantastic momma already.”
The tears ebbed away like the receding of a tide. He loosened his hold but didn’t break away from her.
She looked up, wiped her eyes. “I’m crazy, aren�
��t I?”
He shook his head and touched a finger to her chin. “You’re beautiful.”
His eyes locked with hers, and he gulped. A definitive change blanketed them.
Wanting to kiss her, but scared to push her away, he slid his finger from her chin to cheek. When she didn’t back away, he flattened his palm and cradled her face.
His breaths came ragged, hers shallow.
Seconds passed. Afraid to break the spell, he moved only his thumb, caressed her skin.
He leaned forward, taking the risk before the moment evaporated. His lips touched hers in a kiss that knocked his world off kilter. A kiss that meant more than a meeting of mouths. It was a kiss that claimed his heart.
Sybil broke away—brushed her fingers to her lips but with alarm in her eyes. “That can’t happen again. Our lives are too complicated already.”
She ran from the room, leaving him bereft. She’d wanted the kiss—he knew that with every fiber of his being or he’d never have initiated it. But she was scared. Paralyzingly so.
And there was nothing he could do about it but pray and continue to stand by her.
Chapter Twelve
Sybil laid in bed early Sunday morning. She’d woken up at five and couldn’t fall back asleep, even though she’d stayed up late reading. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be like that all week. Her plans for her week off included lots of sleep and a small Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday at Rysa’s.
To her relief, Jared had accepted her invitation to attend with her. She’d been afraid he wouldn’t after she’d bolted from their kiss, though he’d given her no reason to think that. In the few weeks that had passed, they’d not mentioned it, and he’d not treated her any differently.
That wasn’t true. If anything, he’d been even kinder and sweeter.
Like he knew how petrified she was to attach her heart to anyone.
And that scared her more. If she couldn’t let herself fall in love with Jared, could she ever fall in love? He was everything she never knew existed in a man, and he treated her above reproach. His gentleness and patience with her exceeded all reasonable limits.
