“What about you, Jacinda? What are you going to do?”
What am I going to do? It’s the question I’ve been asking myself for months now. Even longer than that. Even before there was Will tugging me one way and Cassian another …
When it all comes down to me—just me—what do I want? Where am I supposed to be? For the first time, I have the freedom to make that choice. A slow smile takes over my lips.
I loop my arm through Tamra’s and we move away from the playground. The children’s laughter fades behind us. “Believe it or not, I’m still figuring that out. First, of course, Will and I are going to find Mom. And then …” My voice dies away and I feel my smile stretch wider.
She nudges me playfully. “What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing. Just feels good to have a choice. Until now, I’ve never really had the freedom to decide and then make that decision a reality. But wherever I go, I’ll come back to visit. I have to see my hotshot sister leading the pride into the future, after all.”
Tamra rolls her eyes.
“Now, c’mon,” I say. “All this walking has made me famished.”
25
I tiptoe down the darkened hallway of Nidia’s house, taking special care as I enter the living room where Will sleeps on the couch. I watch him for a moment, appreciating the rugged beauty of him before slipping outside. I need to do this alone. No sense waking him.
The township hums with all the sounds of night, but no one else is about as I move north toward Cassian’s house. A light flows through the shades. Someone’s up. I think of Severin. Tamra called him ashamed. Broken. It’s hard summoning remorse for the man. I know he lost his daughter … and, in a manner, his sister, too.
Squaring my shoulders, I knock and wait, hoping Severin doesn’t open the door. I know Jabel was responsible for my father’s death and not him, but he still played his part in my life’s miseries. I don’t want to look on his face again if I don’t have to.
I know who’s on the other side of the door before it opens. I feel him as keenly as my own breath spilling from my lips.
“Jacinda.” His gaze sweeps over me in my nightgown and then looks over my shoulder. “You came alone?”
I nod.
He gestures behind him. “Come in.”
I wave to the porch swing. “Can we sit out here?”
He closes the door behind him and takes a seat. I sit beside him. For a while, we just swing, and I wonder if this is how it would have been if I had never left the pride. Cassian and I rocking together on porch swings in the evenings for the rest of our lives?
“You’re leaving,” I announce.
He inclines his head. “Yes. So are you.” Not a question.
“Yes. Where will you go?”
He flips a hand idly through the air. “I don’t know. There’s a lot to see out there … other prides. I’d like to connect with them. Share what I’ve learned, warn them about the enkros and their tracking devices. Maybe I’ll learn from them, too.”
I think of Lia, Roc, and the others—wonder if they made it. A bitter taste coats my mouth.
“I’m sure there are better places for me than here,” he adds.
I turn to him. “What are you looking for?”
“Maybe somewhere that I can contribute something good.”
“You can do that here.”
He winces. One corner of his mouth curls in a partial smile. “Then maybe somewhere I can forget. How’s that for honesty?”
His purply dark eyes cut into me, and I know he’s talking about more than his family, more than his sister.
I open my mouth, but he holds up a hand to stop me. “I get it, Jacinda. I didn’t before, but now … since we were bonded.” He laughs harshly, and there’s discomfort in the sound. “I understand what it is you feel for Will. God, do I understand.”
My cheeks heat with embarrassment, the meaning behind his words sinking in. While I felt everything Cassian felt, he’s been experiencing all my feelings, too. Even my feelings for Will.
“Wow,” I murmur. “This is kind of awkward.”
He laughs again and this time the sound is genuine.
I brush a strand of hair from my face, but it falls back over my eyes. Our gazes lock. “I hope you find what you’re searching for out there.” What you deserve.
He lifts a hand and tucks the errant hair behind my ear. “You, too, Jacinda.”
Without another word, he drops his hand and moves toward the door. There he pauses and looks back at me. “Good-bye, Jacinda.”
I drag a deep shuddery breath into my lungs, knowing that I may not see him again—ever. “Good-bye, Cassian.”
Then, he’s gone. The door clicks softly behind him.
I rise, unable to stay another moment on his front porch, in such close proximity that I can feel his every emotion. None of which are pleasant at this particular time. Sorrow. Grief. A weariness that runs soul deep.
But what I don’t sense from him is regret. This is what I take with me as I flee his porch. What I cling to. The knowledge that we’re both following our hearts without regret. And right now mine is leading me to Will.
I hurry down the path, my nightgown swishing at my ankles. Suddenly a figure emerges from the mist.
I gasp and step back until I see that it’s Will. “You scared me.”
He approaches slowly, hands buried deep in his jeans pockets.
“Sorry. I woke up as you were leaving. I was worried about you.” I can’t imagine what he thought … me sneaking out in the middle of the night and going to Cassian of all people. Still, I see no anger in his face. Only patience. He’s watching me, waiting it seems, his gaze not so much wary as guarded. I’ve led him to hell and back, but he’s been there with me through it all.
“I’m fine. Cassian and I were just saying good-bye.” I look back over my shoulder. “He won’t be here in the morning.” I know this without being told directly. I feel it. He’d been waiting for me to come. Waiting to say his final good-bye.
Will looks over my shoulder, peering at Cassian’s quiet house. A breeze stirs, and the swing rocks on the porch. “He’s going?”
“Yes.” I take Will’s hand. His long fingers wrap around mine. “He’ll be okay,” I say, believing it. Cassian will find what he needs. Elsewhere.
I start to walk, but Will makes me stop and face him. “Are you okay?” His brow creases with concern.
I lean forward and smooth out the lines on his forehead before sliding both my hands along his cheeks, holding his face tenderly between my palms. “It’s finally done. We’re free.” At last. “We can go anywhere.” I press my mouth to his, kiss him with everything, all that I am—until that familiar heat builds up in my core and I feel ready to burst from my skin. I pull back and say huskily against his lips, “I’m more than okay.”
He hauls me back and kisses me and I don’t need a bond to sense if he’s okay.
I know he is. We both are.
The ocean is a gentle rush in my ears as I walk hand in hand with Will. In my other hand, the straps of my sandals dangle from my fingers. The rolled hems of my jeans chafe the back of my knees.
“You sure this is it?”
I hold my arm up over my face, shoes swinging. The setting sun paints the air a magnificent pink-orange, so bright it hurts my eyes. Several rock structures dot the coastline. For a moment, I see myself here years ago, running with my sister, Dad and Mom following at a slower pace, holding hands and enjoying watching us as we dart into the rolling surf. Tamra loses a flip-flop and shrieks, splashing into the ocean to retrieve it.
I grin at the memory and let it warm me. “Yes. I’m sure.”
Will squeezes my hand.
We continue on, my feet sinking into the sand. I walk a steady line even with the dense sand pulling at me. Anticipation trips through me as I scan the shoreline, hoping she’s here. That I’m not wrong. I’ve waited a long time for this. If she isn’t here, I’ll just keep looking until I fin
d her.
In the meantime Will and I have each other. And all the time in the world for moments like this—the two of us walking together on a beach. Without fear of tomorrow. Without any question of who we are or what we want.
I spot a woman ahead on the beach, her hair partially covered with a purple bandana. The wavy ends lift on the wind like dancing flames as she stares out at the sea. She hugs herself as she gazes resolutely ahead, searching for something in those gold-cast waters and descending sun.
I stop beneath the shadow of one of the rock formations and follow her gaze, staring at the sun sinking into the ocean. My chest tightens. It’s a beautiful sight.
“There she is.” Will squeezes my arm. “Come on.”
I nod, watching her another moment, almost afraid to call out, afraid she might disappear like in my dreams. “Mom!”
She turns to face me with a suddenness that tells me she’s been waiting for me. She knew I would come.
I lace my fingers with Will’s. Our palms press flush against each other and I can feel the beat of his heart thumping in rhythm with mine.
“Let’s go,” I declare, stepping out from the shadows and into the light.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
After three years buried deep in the world of Firelight, it’s hard to say good-bye to Jacinda and friends. But, as in life, all things must come to an end, and I simply consider myself lucky to have been able to share the world of Firelight with so many readers. Thank you for taking the journey with me.
I want to give a special thanks to everyone at HarperCollins for getting behind this series. Of course, none of it could have happened without my wonderful editors, Farrin Jacobs and Kari Sutherland. Farrin, thank you for taking a look at a “dragon story” in the first place and giving it (and me!) a chance. Your support has meant so much. Kari, your eye for detail never ceases to amaze. Thanks for never settling for “good enough.” The end results are as much yours as mine.
A big hug goes to my agent, Maura Kye-Casella, for being in my corner all these years. We’ve come far together. I’ve never doubted our partnership and count my lucky stars that I signed with you right out of the gate. Publicist extraordinaire, Marisa Russell, thanks for being on top of everything and always working so quickly—especially when I slam you with emails. Sasha Illingworth, Cara Petrus, and Sarah Kaufman—thanks for creating such marvelous covers. Tera Lynn Childs, you were the first one to tell me to go for it—thank you.
I’m lucky to be surrounded with family and friends whose support helps keep me afloat: Tera Lynn Childs (again!), Sarah MacLean, Jane Welborn, Lindsay Marsh, Mary Lindsey, Shana Galen, Vicky Dreiling, Kerrelyn Sparks, Kady Cross, Kim Lenox, Ginny Endecott, and Laura Griffin. And to my parents, Gene and Marilyn Michels, thanks for always being proud of me—and bragging to anyone who will listen. Robert Michels and Rosanne Kohler, you’re guilty of the same—love and thanks to you both.
And for my children, who keep everything in perspective, you add joy and meaning to every day. I’m a better writer for it. And finally—Jared. With each day that passes, I value and appreciate you more than the day before. You make everything possible. I love you. I love our life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Country Park Portraits
SOPHIE JORDAN grew up on a pecan farm in the Texas hill country, where she wove fantasies of dragons, warriors, and princesses. A former high school English teacher, she’s also the New York Times bestselling author of Avon historical romances. She now lives in Houston with her family. When she’s not writing, she spends her time overloading on caffeine (lattes and Diet cherry Coke preferred), talking plotlines with anyone who will listen (including her kids), and cramming her DVR with true-crime and reality-TV shows. Sophie also writes paranormal romances under the name Sharie Kohler. You can visit her online at www.sophiejordan.net.
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OTHER WORKS
ALSO BY SOPHIE JORDAN
Firelight
Vanish
CREDITS
Cover photo © 2012 by Amber Gray
Cover design by Sasha Illingworth
COPYRIGHT
Hidden: A Firelight Novel
Copyright © 2012 by Sharie Kohler
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-0-06-193512-1
EPub Edition © JULY 2012 ISBN 9780062190161
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