“And you’ve evaded capture by them for seven years?”
“So far, so good.” He turned onto a main avenue lined with trees. Traffic was heavy, but it was always that way in this section of the city, where the rich and powerful lived in tall, spacious apartment buildings. Morgan Trayhern had not been stingy in getting Ann posh quarters, that was for sure.
“And,” Ann wondered in a low tone, “is that because of this jaguar they talk about?” She touched lightly on the topic because every time she mentioned it, Mike closed up and retreated from her. She admitted she was more than just a little curious about this new and surprising facet to him. According to the nuns, the man was a living legend among the Indians in Peru. They idolized him. Because he was also a part of the people due to his Indian blood, they saw him as a spokesman, leader and protector. Mike had such broad, capable-looking shoulders beneath the white cotton shirt he wore. Just how many responsibilities did he really carry? Ann was getting an inkling of his role in Peru and it filled her with a mixture of awe and terror.
She shouldn’t be in awe of any man, she thought, berating herself sharply. Awe had gotten her into the worst nightmare of her life. No, no man should be put on a pedestal and worshipped. Bitterly, Ann hoped she’d learned that lesson. It was so easy to want to put Mike on just such a pedestal, though.
When Houston didn’t reply to her question about the jaguar, she added, “The sisters said that among the Indian population, people refer to you as the jaguar god.”
Shrugging, Mike muttered, “I get called a lot of things. Believe me, you’ll want to put cotton in your ears when you hear some of the not-so-nice descriptions that I’m sure you’ll be privy to in the next six weeks.”
“I feel you evading me on this, Mike. Why?”
As he pulled into an underground parking facility beneath a relatively new apartment building made of steel and glass, he shot her a quizzical look and then devoted his attention to finding a parking spot. “There’s a lot I need to tell you, to fill you in on,” he admitted slowly. “But we’re both a little beat right now and I’d like to save it for another time.”
Ann nodded, though her exhaustion seemed to have melted away from her as her curiosity was aroused. “Yes…that would be fine….”
Mike pulled into a parking slot near the elevators. He frowned and shut off the car engine, all the while looking around the gloomy depths of the garage. No place was safe, as far as he was concerned. “I’m being more than a little selfish about all this,” he admitted in a low tone as he held Ann’s gaze. “I was glad I didn’t have to leave you in Arizona. But I also knew the risks of your being here and you didn’t.” He shrugged as if trying to rid himself of some invisible load he carried. “It’s not too late to get back on that plane, you know.” He hated suggesting it, but it was the only right thing to do. Ann shouldn’t stay if she was afraid of becoming too involved with him, or putting herself in danger because of him. No, she had to make an informed decision on this. Unconsciously, Mike held his breath and waited for her answer. The smart thing to do was get her on a plane going north as soon as possible. But his heart cried, “No!”
Pain ripped through Ann’s chest; it was as if she were physically connected to Mike for a moment. Something was going on inside her and she didn’t understand it. Briefly touching her heart region, she closed her eyes and avoided his searching gaze. Taking a deep breath, she opened them again and looked directly at him. “I think it’s time for a little honesty here.” She barreled on. “I’m scared, Mike. Of you. Of myself. And now this…this situation where you could get killed at any second.” Swallowing hard, she felt tears burning her eyes and forced them back. “I’d be a liar to say it doesn’t bother me, because it does. Horribly, if you want the truth. But…” She gave him a helpless look and drowned in the burning blueness of his gaze.
“But?” Houston croaked, tension radiating through him as he felt and saw her wrestling with so many unspoken emotions.
“How could I have let myself feel so much?” Ann whispered brokenly. “How?”
He sat very still. Tears trickled down her face, down the taut flesh of her pale cheeks. “Maybe we cared for one another in Arizona and we were just too mule-headed to admit it to each other.”
His words were spoken so softly that they felt like a whisper through the tumultuous halls of her mind. She closed her eyes, the pain nearly unbearable. Risking everything, she opened them once more. “Yes…I care for you. God knows, I tried to deny it. I tried to bury it. Dammit, Mike!” Tears splattered down her face. “Damn you…damn myself. Oh, hell, I don’t know how it happened…or why…it just did.”
Her cry cut through his heart. Acting on blind instinct, he leaned forward and slid his arms around her, pulling her against him. At first she tensed, but within moments, she surrendered to him, her head coming to rest against his jaw. She felt soft and good in his arms, wherever their bodies touched. Mike closed his eyes and pressed a kiss into her hair. He could smell the spicy, faint scent of the perfume she wore. It did nothing but accentuate his need for her. All of her.
“I’ve never seen someone fight so hard not to care for another person as you have,” he whispered hoarsely. “And I know you have your reasons, querida.” He tightened his embrace around her momentarily. Her hand moved languidly up his arm and he relished the sensation her touch caused. “I should be sorry as hell that this has happened, because my being with you puts you in danger. A danger I’m not willing to expose you to…”
Ann buried her face against his neck. “Hold me,” she quavered. “Just hold me?” Right now, she felt like a frightened little girl rather than a woman. Her past haunted her. On top of that, the realization that Mike’s life was in constant danger added a new pain to her awakening heart, just when she was trying to reach out and allow herself to love once again—despite her fears.
He pressed small, soft kisses to her hair, her temple and wan cheek. He tasted the saltiness of her tears, the dampness of her flesh beneath his mouth. “I should have told you earlier about the danger that surrounds me,” he apologized thickly.
Ann shook her head and buried her face more deeply against him. “No…” she murmured, “how could you? I wouldn’t let you. I was still running scared. I was in denial about you…about how I really felt toward you….” Unhappily, she muttered, “And I’m a therapist—I should know better.”
Houston brushed several thick strands of hair from her cheek. “Welcome to the real word of people, Doc. You’re really one of us, after all….”
The rumbling sound in his chest was comforting to Ann and she managed a slight laugh. “I guess you’re right, Mike.”
“I know I am.” His hand stilled against her cheek. “Do you want me to take you to the airport? You can walk away. If you stay…I can’t make any promises about us. Not ever….”
Slowly Ann eased out of his arms. She met his grave, shadowed gaze. “No…I want to stay, Mike. I want…need to explore what we have or don’t have—danger or no danger.”
Chapter 5
Tension thrummed through Mike as he watched Ann look around her newly rented apartment. It was posh, filled with expensive antique furniture from the Queen Anne period. He checked the dead bolt and the other lock on the door. Below, in an unmarked car, he had Pablo, one of his best soldiers, waiting and watching outside the apartment complex. Escovar’s spies in the city were in the hundreds. They all knew Mike’s face. They all knew what to do if they saw him: call one of the roving hit squads in Lima—whichever was closest. Then a van filled with the best mercenary soldiers the drug lords could buy would come screeching up, determined to murder Houston and anyone with him.
Rubbing his neck ruefully as Ann looked around the large apartment with obvious delight, Mike knew he had to get going. To stay longer was putting her at risk, whether she knew it or not. As she emerged from the bedroom, he met her halfway down the carpeted hall. Reaching out, he drew her into his arms. She came willingly.
“I’ve got to get going,” he said gruffly against her thick, silky hair as she rested against him.
“You can’t stay?”
He groaned. Mike understood the invitation: Ann wanted him to make love to her. But as he ran his hand across her slumped shoulders, he remembered the depth of her exhaustion. “Now, querida,” he teased, “if we even thought of trying to love one another, we’d fall asleep halfway through. I don’t know about you, but when I take you all the way, I want to be wide awake.” Why had he said that? Houston was angry with himself. He had no right to lead her on like this. But his heart was overflowing with need of her. Ordinarily, he resisted such temptations, but Ann was unraveling his emotional control in every possible way and he was helpless to stop her. Somehow, he knew he had to try.
Ann smiled softly and languished in the strength and protection of his embrace. “You’re right,” she murmured. “I’m so tired I can barely walk…or think.”
“See?” Mike said with a slight smile as he eased her from his arms. Her eyes were dark with exhaustion, but he ached to take her even now. “Will a stolen kiss do?” His heart beat fiercely as she lifted her chin and gave him that tender smile filled with undisguised desire. His hands automatically tightened on her arms.
Wordlessly, he leaned down, swept her deeply into his embrace and took her offered lips. How soft and sweet they were! He found himself starving for her. His hands moving of their own accord, he eased them down her back as her own arms came up and encircled his neck. The soft firmness of her rounded breasts made fire burn through him. He heard her moan as he lightly caressed the curve of her breasts. Shamelessly, she pressed her hips against his.
The warning in the back of his mind took over. He had stayed alive this long because he never disregarded it. Reluctantly, he tore his mouth from hers. Fire burned in Ann’s eyes as he stared hungrily down at her, cupping her shoulders to steady her, as she swayed in the aftermath of their searching kiss.
“You’re one hell of a kisser,” he rasped. “Take that hot bath you mentioned. Go to bed, querida. I’ll drop by and see you sometime tomorrow.” He frowned. “And keep your dead bolt on that door, do you hear? I’ve got a key for it and the other lock.”
Vaguely, Ann heard his instructions, heard the concern in his voice. Her mouth tingled. She stared dazedly up at him and her body responded hotly to his narrowed eyes, the primal animal sense she felt emanating from him. For a moment—just a split second—she thought she saw the yellow-and-black eyes of a jaguar instead his blue ones. She had to be hallucinating again from sleep deprivation.
“Okay…” she whispered. “I’ll see you soon?”
Caressing her hair, he murmured, “Count on it….”
The apartment seemed so void and lonely after Mike left. Ann dutifully slipped the dead bolt in place and locked the door. She moved to the bathroom, fatigue robbing her of all thought. Her first day in Lima had been by far the most aching, hungry and mysterious she had ever spent in her life. Mike was more of an enigma than ever. Yet she knew unequivocally that she needed him—and wanted to explore how she felt about him. Somehow, she had to put the brakes on her out-of-control feelings where he was concerned, she thought as she readied herself for bed, then climbed wearily between the sheets. As sleep claimed her completely, she had a vivid, colorful dream.
Ann found herself standing by the clearest, most inviting looking water she’d ever seen. The oval-shaped pool was a collecting spot, a depression in the soft earth of the Amazon Basin. The humidity that forever blotted out the sun and made the sky look like translucent mist moved above her like a living, breathing thing. As she stood naked and barefoot beside the magical-looking pool, she watched like an awed child as that mist gently twisted, turned, took shape and then dissolved, only to writhe into another form or momentary pattern once again. The swirling humidity made the sun look more like a lightbulb hidden behind heavy fabric.
I should be cold, she thought. But she wasn’t. The delicious warmth and humidity of the jungle enveloped her like an invisible blanket. It felt wonderful to be free of her bra and panties and all her clothes! Stretching her arms over her head, she laughed fully, her voice muted by the surrounding trees and lush green foliage beneath the rain forest canopy.
Returning her attention to the glistening, smooth surface of the pool, Ann swore she could feel Mother Earth breathing, in and out…in and out…. As she threaded her fingers through her loose, straight hair, Ann could feel the humidity making the strands curl slightly. What did this place remind her of?
As she gazed about the area, she saw broad-leafed plants, no more than a foot high, growing here and there. Grass did not survive beneath the triple canopy; there wasn’t enough sunlight to encourage it. The banks of the pool were scattered with decomposing leaves that had fallen from above and small branches that had been knocked off the trees, perhaps by a colorful parrot or a monkey. The decay that surrounded her wasn’t repugnant to her as she knelt down on her hands and knees. No, the ground was soft and yielding, almost like a resilient skin to Ann as she pressed her palms against it, testing it gently in slow, delicious exploration. The odor was sweet—surprisingly sweet and clean smelling.
The faint scent of a flower caught her flaring nostrils and she turned to find a huge silk cotton tree next to the pool, its roots large, thin flat gray wings arching out from the main trunk like flying buttresses. There were at least eight “wings” holding the massive, tall tree in place. On one of them, she noticed a clump of darker leaves and an array of bright, colorful flowers springing from it, hanging over the pool like a series of Christmas ornaments. The flowers smelled like vanilla, and she leaned back on her heels, closed her eyes and drew the fragrance deep into her body.
This place in her dream felt like a birthing chamber to Ann. Slowly opening her eyes, she absorbed that realization within her. Yes, that was it. This very special jungle in the Amazon basin was a living incubator of Mother Earth. By some grace, she’d been allowed into the birthing chamber where expressions of love became life itself. An incredible sense of awe flowed through her as she continued to slowly gaze around her perfect Eden. Ann had had no idea the jungle was this beautiful. It truly was a primal region, as it had given birth to so many beautiful plants, animals and flowers.
Leaning down, she trailed her fingers across the glasslike surface of the quiet pool. The water was invitingly warm. She watched the tiny wavelets become ripples and then disappear halfway across the pool’s expanse. Laughing, Ann leaned out over the edge of the bank and looked at herself in the mirrored surface. How young and happy she appeared! Much younger than her thirty-two years. Smiling delightedly, she admired her reflection. There were faint freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, which she usually hid with makeup. She saw the bump on her nose—but this time, for some reason, she felt no shaft of pain when she focused on it. That was a miracle in itself, Ann decided. But then, this place she was in was truly magical.
Her gaze moved to her eyes—her best feature, she felt. They were wide and shining. She looked like a child who had just stumbled into a storybook place. Her eyes were no longer ringed or dark looking. Instead, they were sparkling with gold in their depths and shining with joy. Ann felt so happy here and wondered if it was sinful to feel this euphoric. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d felt like this, if ever. Her gaze fell to her softly parted, full lips. She had a nice mouth, she decided. It was often pursed, but as a physician, she had to maintain a certain demeanor.
Something whispered to her to slip into the pool’s inviting depths, where Ann could see the dark brown of decomposing organic matter scattered on the sandy bottom. A sudden urge overwhelmed her and for once she became utterly spontaneous. Easing her feet into the pool, she was surprised at how warm, how soothing it felt. The water seemed to tug gently at her feet and ankles, calling her to slip farther into its depths. Ann realized the oval shape of the pool reminded her of a woman’s womb. That made her feel comfortable and she mo
ved effortlessly into the warm, clear water.
As the liquid enveloped her, dampened her hair, she sighed softly. This wasn’t just water, this was energy-ladened, living water. As her feet touched the soft, mushy bottom, she found herself standing with the water just above her breasts. Moving her arms slowly through the clear liquid, she marveled at the energy that stirred provocatively around her. The water wasn’t moving, but she felt some force slowly swirling upward from her feet, ankles, knees and thighs. The sensation was lulling and she moaned softly, closed her eyes and floated, her arms and legs outstretched. It felt as if a thousand tiny hands were massaging every inch of her body, and she never wanted the sensation to cease.
As she rolled over on her back and floated, she felt the rest of her hair absorb the living, charged water. Closing her eyes, Ann heard the soft rush of air being drawn into the forested area and felt everything around her begin to slowly expand in order to take in that necessary breath of air. There was no doubt that Mother Earth had given her entrance to her own womb. Ann, a woman, was being blessed by being allowed into the center of the living planet, the womb of Mother Earth, and partaking in the creation of life.
Tears stung Ann’s eyes as she realized the enormous gift she was being given. Slowly opening her eyes, she rolled over and found herself at the opposite bank. Her gaze moved to the red-and-yellow flowers that hung over the pool. They called to her. She could hear them, their tiny voices high and filled with such love. They begged her to take the spike of flowers and lace it among strands of her hair. Again spontaneity overwhelmed her, and Ann stood up and gently snapped the end of the spike. The fragrance of vanilla surrounded her as she carefully wound the orchids through her hair.
As she climbed out of the pool and looked down, she could see the red-and-yellow flowers like a brilliant, living crown of fire and sunlight surrounding her head. Even more surprising was that Ann could feel the throbbing, pulsing warmth of those flowers sending wave after wave of sensation from her head downward. Each tiny wavelet moved farther and farther through her as she stood there, appreciating the feeling within her body. As the energy reached her breasts, she felt herself respond sexually, and for a moment that caught her off guard. But as the lulling, stroking movement of the wavelets continued to undulate through her, she sank to the bank of the pool, lay down and closed her eyes.
Morgan’s Mercenaries: Heart of the Jaguar Page 10
