It was one of the last thoughts she had. Her final thought was a weak cry for Mike Houston, for his help. That was all Ann remembered as she sank into a dark oblivion.
Ann heard Mike Houston’s voice. It was deep and panicked sounding. She felt someone pick her up, the feeling wonderful. Floating…she was floating. Strong arms hoisted her upward. She heard Pablo in the background, the panic clearly audible in his voice as well. She was dying and dreaming. That was it. The hallucinations of fever. Oh, how she wished Mike was here! But he was dead. Dead…. How much she loved him…and he’d never know it…not ever…. Darkness overcame her again.
“What should I do?” Pablo asked, his eyes huge as he stood at the door to the apartment. “Call for an ambulance?”
Houston glared toward him as he held Ann in his arms, her limp form pressed tightly against him. “No, it’s too late for that. She’s dumping on us.”
“I didn’t know, Major! She looked very tired last night…but…”
Breathing hard, Houston shook his head. “Get the bedroom door open, Pablo. I’m taking her in there.” He looked down. Ann’s head lolled against his shoulder, her skin marbleized, cold with sweat. There was a faint bluish color around her parted, badly chapped and cracked lips. Blood was everywhere.
“Sí!” Pablo replied, and raced down the hall ahead of Mike.
“Hang on, Ann, hang on,” Houston whispered urgently, holding her so tightly against him he thought he might crush her. She was like a limp child in his arms, there was so little life left in her. And whatever life there was was now only a dim flame. His mind raced with questions and possible answers. Somehow, she’d contracted a deadly hemorrhagic fever. Due to the filth, squalor and poor sanitary conditions she worked in, it was easy for her to contract one. He could barely feel her pulse.
Pablo jerked open the bedroom door, his breath coming in gulps.
“What now, Major?”
“I’m going to work on her in here. Drive down to the clinic and get whatever homeopathic remedy the sisters think Ann should have. Make it fast, Pablo. Bring IVs. She’s not going to make it if we can’t get them into her pronto….”
Pablo nodded brusquely and ran back down the hall.
Houston heard the apartment door slam shut as he looked around the small and feminine bedroom. He saw that the bed-covers had been twisted and thrown aside. The pain in his heart almost overwhelmed him. Ann was dying. It was that simple. That pulverizingly simple.
“You aren’t going to die on me, dammit,” he growled. He knew what had to be done. He’d done it before. Not often, but he knew the procedure, the effects—and the cost to himself. He sat down on the bed with Ann in his arms. Resting his back against the headboard, he spread his legs apart. Quickly, he positioned Ann’s limp body between them with her back resting against his chest. He guided her head against the hollow of his right shoulder. He felt the cold dampness of her brow against his unshaved jaw and he pressed his trembling fingers against her carotid artery. There was a faint pulse, that was all. She was dying. Her blood pressure was falling through the floor. No amount of medical help would bring her back now. No, there was nothing known in the high-tech medical world, no drug powerful enough, to pull Ann out of this.
If he’d taken her to the emergency room of the nearest hospital, she’d have died on a gurney in front of him.
Houston breathed savagely, his eyes glittering like shards of icy blue glass. “No,” he whispered fiercely, “I won’t let you die, Ann. I won’t….” He wrapped his arms around her slack form, which fit so heartbreakingly beautifully against his tall, lean form.
Get ahold of yourself, Houston. Get ahold…breathe…breathe in and out for her. Pick up the beat of her heart. Make it one with yours. Breathe with her. And he did. He closed his eyes, his arms firm against her. He could feel the faint, weakening beat of her heart against his stronger, pounding one. They were one now, united. United in a death spiral. Houston knew what must be attempted. He knew the risks to himself. It didn’t matter. He wanted her to live. He needed her, dammit, and that’s all that mattered in his ugly, dark little world. Ann was his light. His hope, whether he deserved it or not.
His mouth thinned and he felt the power nearby. Come on, come over me. I need you. I need to save her…. Help me! Help me…. He felt the power gather above him and then, like the sheath of a glove, he felt it move over him. As it did, he felt stronger than ten men. His heartbeat deepened and became five times the power of one human heart. The pulsing life that now embraced him was complete. Visualizing the golden energy now throbbing around and through him, Houston saw it move down his arms, through his hands and into Ann’s limp, cold fingers.
He continued to breathe with her, slow, shallow breaths. He steadied her heartbeat and nurtured it. Now there was synchronicity; they were living, pulsing as one. Frightened by how far she was gone, he concentrated savagely on the life-giving energy flowing back into her. He wanted to rob death this time. And without apology. Little by little, he felt her heartbeat begin to pick up, and he felt her breath ease a little, deepen a little. Willing his life energy into her like a transfusion of a different kind, Houston let out a ragged, emotional sigh. He felt tears stinging the backs of his eyes. Ann couldn’t die on him! She had to live! She had to! He needed her like he’d never needed anyone before. He’d found that out in the last two weeks while he’d been in that hell of a rotting jungle, fighting Escovar’s men. He’d wanted to live—survive—to see her again.
His altered state deepened and he no longer thought, he simply felt. His heart entwined with her weak one. His breath filled her collapsing lungs with not only his oxygen, but his life force. Time ceased. He was no longer aware of the hard wood stabbing into his back or the firmness of the mattress beneath him. All he felt was his heart, filled with fierce emotions and love, as Ann lay in his arms, dying.
Minutes congealed and his world shortened to moments between the beats of her heart, to the time between each soft inhalation and exhalation of breath from her parted lips. He willed his life more surely into her. As he did, he felt the power surrounding him begin to vibrate in a familiar pattern. Yes! Yes, he could feel Ann’s flesh beginning to warm beneath his hands. It was working! The energy was flowing into her, giving her life, supporting her weakened heart and moving like a golden river through her, cleansing her, stealing her like a thief from death’s grip. Behind his closed eyes, he could see it happening, that golden light flowing down through her thin body, reigniting her form with life instead of giving it over to death, which had hovered patiently, waiting.
Life and death. That was what this was all about and Houston knew it. A deep, throbbing pulse began to move from him directly into Ann’s body. With each beat of energy, he began to feel a lessening of his own. He knew he could potentially die in the process, but he didn’t care. If he couldn’t save Ann, he didn’t want to live, either. All his life, people he’d loved had died. He’d thought that by leaving her safe in Lima, it wouldn’t happen to her. What a naive fool he’d been. He’d thought that by walking out on her life, he could protect her. But his plan hadn’t worked. In that moment, he hated his life, hated what he was, what he had become, hated even the power within him—his taskmaster. It was both his burden and his gift that his presence could give life, or cause it to be destroyed. There was no in-between. No trade-offs and never any compromise.
As the golden energy surged through Ann, he felt her body growing warmer by the second. Her breathing was deepening now as she absorbed the life-giving oxygen back into her lungs and fed the starving cells of her body. Her heart was beating strongly now, even as he felt his own solid heartbeat begin to diminish. The exchange was occuring. His mouth twitched. He tipped his head back and smiled faintly. Yes, she was going to live. Oh, Great Goddess, she’s going to live. His spirit guardian was going to give her life, and not take her this time. Hot tears ran down his stubbled cheeks. He could smell the faint sweetness of Ann’s silky hair against his jaw as th
e flowing, throbbing pulsations continued between them. He was giving her a transfusion of life. The only problem was that it was coming from him. Could he hold on? Could he give her enough to get her stabilized and still have enough left to cling to life himself?
Houston wasn’t sure. He felt his guardian’s presence even more now than ever before. A low growl of warning vibrated through him, but he felt no fear about death. He’d faced it so many times that it had lost any control over him. All that was important was the woman in his arms. The woman he needed as fiercely as his heart would allow him to need and want. Houston felt his consciousness slipping away. He knew he was at a precarious point in the exchange. He hadn’t been this close to looking at death in a long time…
It didn’t matter. He found himself sliding downward until he lay on his side on the bed, with Ann tucked tightly against him. Keeping his arm around her protectively, he sighed. Whatever had to happen would happen. He wasn’t afraid of dying, but he wanted her to live. As the darkness closed around him, he knew that either he would wake up with Ann breathing easily by his side, or he wouldn’t wake up at all.
Chapter 8
Ann felt a butterfly grazing her cheek. Or so she thought. The accompanying sensation was tender. Warm. Filled with love that made her heart pulse more strongly within her breast. She stood surrounded by shining gold-and-white light, absorbing a feeling of unconditional love that flowed not only around her, but through her. As bright as the light was, Ann was not blinded by it. Instead, the swirling, glittering, loving energy that embraced her made her feel carefree and joyous.
The light seemed to twist and become more opaque, taking on an identifiable shape. As it came closer, she felt no fear, only curiosity. Suddenly she recognized it—it was a jaguar with a dazzling gold-and-black coat. Ann could see the animal’s huge, slightly slanted eyes, thin crescents of gold against the large black pupils holding her hypnotized. When the jaguar had moved halfway toward her, she watched the beast transform into the shape of a man. Her heart expanded like an orchid opening into full bloom when she realized it was Mike who stood before her. He was clothed in a dirty, bloody camouflage uniform. His face had two weeks’ growth of beard on it. His eyes were shadowed and filled with a burning tenderness meant only for her.
A soft smile pulled at her mouth as she held his warming, life-giving gaze.
You came….
There was never a question that I wouldn’t be here with you.
Ann stood there, torn between remaining in the embrace of the loving light and staying with Mike. There was no need for words in this realm, she discovered with a thrill. All she had to do was think and her thoughts were sent to Mike. And vice versa.
You have a choice, mi querida.
I know…. She felt his raw anguish, his need of her. Most of all, she felt his powerful love for her. It drew her like a beacon, called to her.
If you come back, there are terrible trials ahead.
Ann sensed that without knowing what those trials would be, exactly. But as she gazed into Mike’s weary, battle-scarred face, she could feel the powerful beat of his heart in sync with her own. Every time his chest rose and fell, she inhaled and exhaled. The sense of oneness with him made her step forward. In a graceful movement, she extended her hand to him.
I’m not afraid, beloved. I have you. Ann knew she had expressed the truth, fully and without fear for the first time. It was a liberating moment for her. An empowering one. With Mike, she felt safe. He was someone she could trust. I’ve searched for you for so long. It’s been so hard, so lonely without you….
You’ve held my heart for a long time. Longer than you know, he answered, lifting his hands. Our search is over. Come back with me, Ann. Let’s walk this last path together.
Their fingers were inches apart. White-and-gold light surrounded them, pulsing with life. The urge to live, to remain with him, was suddenly overwhelming. The love emanating from him toward her was greater than the light that embraced her, such was his undying passion for her body, mind and spirit. It was an easy choice for Ann to make. As she reached across those last few inches toward him, and their fingers met, she felt a surge of energy tunnel through her. She felt his strong, caring fingers wrap more surely around hers, as if to steady her.
Come, Mike urged silently, let’s go home—together….
Tears burned in her eyes. His face blurred momentarily as the tears formed and fell. Though he was a tired, weary warrior, his head was still held high, his shoulders thrown back with pride. Ann could only admire him. And love him.
I’m not afraid anymore….
As he cupped her hands, Houston smiled tenderly down at her. Squeezing her fingers gently, he leaned forward.
You don’t have to be afraid. I’m here. I love you…and our love will keep you safe. He gently framed Ann’s face with his hands and looked deep into her guileless eyes, which glimmered with tears. I’m going to kiss you. As my mouth meets yours, drink my breath into you, mi querida. Take my breath into your body and you will live….
As his strong mouth settled over her parting lips, the kiss felt so right to Ann, so warm and life-giving. Closing her eyes, she slid her arms around his broad shoulders and felt him move more surely against her. It was so wonderful to be drawn up against him, to feel her heart beat as one with his, to inhale his breath as her lips clung to his. Every sensation, from the rough, callused quality of his fingertips against her flesh, to the tender coaxing of his mouth sliding against her lips as he opened her to him even more, was exquisitely beautiful to her, causing fresh tears to stream down her cheeks and wash over their joined mouths.
How long she had waited for this welcoming kiss! Oh, the years, the decades she’d been searching without knowing that this man who held her now, was her one true love for life—her mate. Ann had never realized that until this moment out of time. The lonely, painful years, the darkness she’d carried by herself, began to dissolve beneath the tender ministrations of his mouth. She never wanted this kiss of shared love and incredible beauty to end.
Slowly, she began to feel herself growing heavy as she moved downward in a slow, spiraling motion. The light was dimming and they were moving into the darkness now. Somehow, she wasn’t frightened by the dark, though as a child, she would have been paralyzed by fear if someone hadn’t left a light on in her room when she went to bed. No, with this man, her mate, she could enter complete darkness and not be afraid.
As her body grew weighted, and different sounds and odors entered her peripheral awareness, Ann understood the true power of love. Love was the light that could cut through the blackness of hell itself. It could pierce the darkest of hearts. It could rescue someone from death and bring her back to life again. These thoughts remained with her as she relished the feel of Mike’s arms around her, his strong, capable body against hers, steadying her descent. He was with her—inside her, around her, embracing her, their lips never parting, their hearts still beating as one.
Home, mi querida, you’re home now…open your eyes. Come on, my wild orchid, my woman, open your eyes. I’m here with you now. You’re safe and everything is going to be all right….
Mike’s deep voice reverberated inside her like wonderful, ever-widening ripples of water moving down through her body. Her lids felt incredibly heavy and Ann struggled to hold on to Houston’s voice as his hands framed her face. The moisture and warmth of his breath covered her as he spoke to her again, calling her back, calling her to his side.
Oh! How she always wanted to be with him! Ann struggled. She felt the terrible weakness of her body, but her heart pulsed strongly as his breath mingled with hers. He was giving her life, feeding her, nourishing her and rescuing her from the grip of death. Homing in on his low, trembling voice, on his hands as they gently held her face captive, she forced her lashes to move. But just barely. The lack of strength in her body scared her badly.
Don’t struggle so hard, mi querida, he soothed. Take your time. You’re back with me. Just focus
on my touch, my voice, and you’ll be fine. Breathe more deeply now. That’s it—nice deep, easy breaths. In and out…in and out…
Ann felt his hands shift on her face, his thumbs removing the tears that continued to bathe her skin. Whatever she was lying on shifted. She felt his arm go around her shoulders and cradle her neck and head briefly. In a moment, she was propped up in a sitting position. Breathing became easier at that point. His roughened hand moved gently down her arm and he stroked her fingers.
Did you know that I dreamed of you when I thought Escovar was going to kill me and my men up in the highlands? I dreamed of you during that walk I took through the dark night of the soul. You were there, beloved. I struggled. I knew I could die if I wanted to, but you kept calling to me, teasing me and laughing with me. You would dance like a butterfly around me as I stood in the light, unsure if I wanted to come back here or not.
Your laughter was like the beautiful music of the waterfall. Your eyes shone like the bluest of skies above the Andes. The shining love in your gaze was for me alone. You loved me. Fiercely. Protectively. You never gave up on me. You refused to let me die. You begged me, you broke down and wept for me, and I stopped, turned around and came back to you. Your tears were for me, not for yourself, and somehow, I knew that. You cried for me, for all I’d suffered, all that I had lost and would lose in the future if we could not meet again. You held me as I knelt down to take you into my arms to somehow try and comfort you.
I had never had someone cry for me before. As you sat there holding me, rocking me gently against your breast, you told me through your tears that you would willingly give your life for mine—that I had so much to do in the world yet. You told me that my path was hard and that if I had the heart, the courage of spirit to persevere, so many people’s lives would be saved.
You cradled my face in your hands, and you looked at me through tear-filled eyes and said you would go in my stead. You would give your life for me, so that I might continue on. It was in that moment, my beloved, that you taught me something I hadn’t learned yet about sacrificing for another, surrendering your life to a greater cause, a greater thing…far greater than either of us as individuals. You taught me humility, beloved, and the fierce love you held for me made me decide to live.
Morgan’s Mercenaries: Heart of the Jaguar Page 16
