“No,” she said softly. She felt suddenly very weak and tired, and she moved away from his door. She pressed a hand against her head as she turned and headed back to her bedroom. She began to breathe quickly as she entered the room and closed the door, locking it and placing her back against it for support. She wrapped her arms around her middle as tears began to slide down her face, mixing with the rainwater that had glued the dark curls of her hair against her skin. She cried softly, trying to push the painful memories out of her mind.
Elandria was startled by a soft knock on the door behind her. With a sob, she turned around and pulled the door open, launching herself tearfully into Trevain’s arms. He caught her easily, placing both hands in her wet, dark hair as he leaned down to kiss her. She allowed her arms to slide around his neck, flattening her body against his.
Trevain was stunned by her sudden passion. Her touch overwhelmed him—the unbearable softness of her small body encircled in his arms. Everything he had feared began to dissipate; all the clouds of confusion in his mind began to part, making way for a sunny, luminous clarity.
She did remember him.
“I’m so sorry,” Elandria was sobbing. “I love you so much, Trevain. I just didn’t want to hurt her…”
“Shhh,” he told her, wiping the wet hair away from her face. “This isn’t wrong. This isn’t hurting anyone. You’re my wife, and I am tired of wasting time. I need you. Now more than ever, I need you beside me. I need to hold you, and know that you care.” Trevain leaned down, pressing his face against hers, desperately trying to maximize his contact with his skin. “I thought you didn’t care.”
“I do,” she told him, pressing her mouth against his again and again. “These last few years without you have been unbearable. I wanted to die. Your letters were the only thing that kept me going.” She reached for her sleeve and rolled it up to her elbow, displaying long vertical scars. “When Mother Melusina told me I could no longer have your letters, I nearly lost my mind. The solitude was too much. I slit my wrists.”
“Elandria,” he said in dismay, clutching her tiny arm and placing his lips against her wrist. He held the scar against his face, fighting tears.
“And it wasn’t just my equivalent of you smashing the sculptures in the garden,” she added. “I didn’t want attention. I wanted to ease the pain of being alone. I was so alone, Trevain. But I believed I deserved it. The only reason I didn’t slit my wrists sooner was because I thought I deserved to live and suffer for what I did to Zuri more than I deserved quietude and peace.”
“I should never have let you go,” Trevain said furiously. “What was I thinking?”
“We were both in despair,” she whispered.
“You know, sometimes I think it doesn’t really bother Aazuria as much as we think it does,” Trevain told her with a halfhearted smile. “I think our mutual guilt far exceeds any anger that she feels toward us.”
“You are right about that,” Elandria said with a sigh. She placed a hand against his cheek. “Trevain, will you please just hold me? I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
He nodded, embracing her again. “I don’t want to be alone either.”
Chapter 25: The Love Jar
Glais gritted his teeth nervously as the elevator took him down to the cabin at Lake Vostok. He was sure that she would be here. She had to be here. When the doors opened, he was frustrated to find the cabin empty.
“Varia!” he called out, just in case she was hiding in one of the cabinets or closets. “Dammit.” He was about to send the elevator back up when an idea struck him. He moved forward, putting his hands against the giant metal double-doors. He wondered if she was out in the lake. Looking around for signs of life, he did not see any bags of clothing or dishes in the sink. He tossed his own backpack and coat onto the bed before beginning to fiddle with the door. “I hope I remember how to work this thing,” he muttered, beginning to crank the handle.
After about fifteen minutes of frustration in struggling to unlock the doors and get the mechanism of the second and third sets of doors to work, Glais found himself out in the lake. Now I just need to remember which direction her secret hideout was in… He began swimming. After half an hour of swimming, he began to worry that he was lost. What if he never found her secret spot? The lake was gigantic. He began to have panicked thoughts of never finding her again, but he continued stroking his arms to move himself through the water.
Finally, he saw a dim glow of light. Feeling relieved, he increases his speed and headed for the little cubbyhole in the glacier. When Varia laid eyes on him, she seemed alarmed. One of her hands left the tablet she had been using to read and moved to the rifle at her side. Then, as he drew closer, she recognized him and relaxed.
She returned to reading.
Glais sighed. He could already see that this was going to be difficult. Moving over to her, he glanced down at the screen. “Still reading Atlas Shrugged?” he signed.
“It’s a long book,” she explained.
He nodded, looking down at the pages as she flipped them. He figured that he might as well read the book alongside her while she was so engrossed.
After a few minutes, Varia put the tablet down and turned to him. “Why are you even here, Glais? Go away.”
“I’m here to take you home. Your mother is worried.”
“I really don’t care anymore.”
“She says that she misses you lots and promises she’ll listen more in the future,” Glais repeated.
“Well, I miss her,” Varia signed angrily. “When we were down here she spent all day with me. She told me stories, and she was 100% concentrated on me! I felt loved and safe. I was happy. Now, she’s so busy with the stupid empire that I hardly get to see her. And the one time I try to do something for me, all on my own, I fail.”
“I told you that audition was going to suck.”
“Because I suck. Because I’m not used to that world, and those people. I’m not any good at it.” Varia’s face screwed up. “And Aunt Sio—she came and sat down with me. We hung out and she told me everything was going to get better. She said I’d find my path. She was so awesome, Glais.” Varia turned to the side and buried her face against his neck.
He automatically put his arm around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. Her hair was as white as snow. They sat like that for several minutes until she pulled away with a start.
“Oh, no, Glais! What day is it?”
“Thursday,” he answered.
“Your fencing competition, it’s tomorrow!” she said frantically. “You have to go back!”
“Are you coming with me?” he asked.
She hesitated. “No. I’m sorry. This is my home now.”
“Then this is my home too,” he responded. “I told the pilot that if I wasn’t back in two hours, he should leave me here.”
“You want to stay here with me?” she asked in confusion. She shook her head, suddenly adamant in her refusal. “No. You have such a bright future up there on the surface. You have paintbrushes and sabers. You even have clairvoyant visions that help people. You have a place in the world, and you could be so great! You could be rich and famous—winning all the competitions, competing in the Olympics like you always dreamed. You could have your art displayed in fancy galleries all over the world. You’re so wonderful, Glais. The world deserves to know how wonderful you are.”
“Varia, you really have no clue. I don’t care about any of that. I was just trying to impress you. I was just trying to prove myself to you. As long as you think highly of me that’s all that really matters.”
“I think a little too highly of you, Glais,” she admitted. “The problem is that you don’t think so highly of me. The last time we were here, you said I was a little kid. I think you should go back up to the surface before your pilot leaves. Go back to Adlivun or Atlantis.”
“Varia…”
“Maybe you can come and visit me when I’m older. In five or ten years, or a hundred ye
ars, when I’m legally an adult, maybe you’ll like me better—I should have read a few more thousand books by then. Just so you know, I won’t be any different. I will look exactly the same. I am done with living on land and breathing air to grow up faster. I’m staying underwater. I’m comfortable with myself and my body the way it is, and I want to stay at this age for hundreds of years. I’ve reached my full height, I’ve had my first menses, and I’ve got average-sized breasts. So, in my opinion, I’m a woman. Physically, I’ve decided to stop growing, but mentally I still intend to learn as much as I can.”
“Varia, I’m not leaving. I’m going to spend all those hundreds of years with you.”
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she signed. “I think you should head back to the plane.”
“Don’t you want me here?” he asked.
“Well, yes. But I already explained the situation when I said good-bye.” Varia looked down, blushing. “I want more from you than you’re willing to give.” She was startled when Glais was suddenly in front of her, taking her hands. He allowed his body to sink in the water until he was kneeling before her.
“Will you marry me, Varia?”
She stared at him uncomprehendingly for a full minute. “Huh?”
He smiled at her puzzlement. “I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.”
“Don’t patronize me,” she protested.
“I’m being serious here. Before I knew your real name, before I knew you were a princess. I saw a cute, lonesome girl sitting in a corner of the classroom, and I fell in love. I’ve done everything I could possibly do to be close to you all these years. Don’t you understand? Everything I am, everything I’ve tried to be, is only for you. I just wanted to be the type of person you could be proud to love someday.”
“I love you today.”
“Yes, but up there in the world, it doesn’t count. People would look down at us and say that we’re young fools and that we’re going to fall apart. People would be trying to break us apart. Visola thinks that getting my name tattooed on your boob would be a mistake you’d regret. (It wouldn’t be.) Down here, our love is worth something now. It’s just us. But up there, our love isn’t worth anything until we’re older.”
“You really want to stay here with me?” Varia asked, squinting at him skeptically. “You want to be with me, Glais?”
“Yes. I don’t think you understand. Up until this point, I’ve been so grateful that with every unexpected turn of events in life, nothing ever really came between us. We’ve never been separated since we met. Do you realize that? This is the first time. And it wasn’t life or unexpected events that did it—it was you. Do you know how much you hurt me? You just left me lying there, immobilized on my bed, thinking that there was a slim chance that I would never see you again.”
“Slim chance?” she repeated in amusement. “If you hadn’t come looking for me, you would never have seen me again.”
“I’m not like your father; letting your mom get away for ten years—I was going to chase after you and hunt you down until I found you. Luckily, you were in the first place I looked. Saved me some stress.”
“Glais, why are you comparing us to my parents?” she shook her head slightly. “Why are you saying this? You don’t even like me in that way.”
“How do you figure that, Vari?”
“I think I would have been able to tell if you were in love with me. I think I would have been able to see some small sign of interest on your part.”
“Everyone can see it except for you,” he said with a smile. “You see, I had this master plan. It was pretty cool, actually. I wanted to stay by your side and be your best friend for dozens, maybe hundreds of years—until you felt the same way about me too. I thought maybe you should have a whole bunch of other boyfriends first so you could see how much better I was.”
“Why would you want to wait so long?” she asked angrily. “Love isn’t patient or rational. It’s passionate and demanding.”
“My love is both patient and passionate. I don’t want to be with you just for today and maybe tomorrow—I want you for all the tomorrows we have. For sure. I wanted to wait until you were ready to commit to that—when you’d gotten all the adventurous youth out of your system.”
“What about you?” Varia demanded. “Don’t you have anything to get out of your system? What if you get bored of me before tomorrow comes. Living down here in Antarctica for hundreds of years with only me to talk to—I bet you anything that you’ll get really bored.”
“Are you kidding?” he asked with a grin. “It sounds like paradise! We get to live like human beings, and not have to deal with the stress of politics and family drama. We never have to see someone we love die again. We’ll be safe.”
“I’m so glad that you came looking for me,” Varia told him. She reached up and ruffled his pale hair. “You’re really sweet.”
“Oh, I forgot! Now I know why you’re not taking me seriously,” Glais said, hitting himself in the forehead. “I forgot the ring!” He shoved both hands into his pockets and fished around until he found what he was looking for. He resumed the proposal position and tried again. “How about now? Will you marry me, Varia?”
She stared in recognition. “That’s my mom’s ring. The Ramaris ring.”
“Yup! She gave me her blessing.”
“You asked my mom for permission?” Varia did not wait for a response before she dove forward and threw her arms around his neck. She hoped that he could not tell that she was crying with happiness. “Glais, I can’t believe you’re saying all this to me. It’s like a dream come true. I better not be dreaming again or I swear to Sedna…”
“Not this time,” he responded. He shyly placed a hand on either side of her face, before leaning forward and giving her a gentle, loving kiss. “I worship you, Princess Clavaria Vellamo. So will you please give me an answer and put the ring on before I have a heart attack?”
She blinked, enjoying the butterflies in her stomach. She smiled and hit him in the arm. “Of course it’s yes, you dork!” she said, sticking out her finger so he could place the ring on it. “Maybe you don’t remember, but I totally asked you first. Years and years ago.”
“And I said yes, and I meant it,” he told her solemnly. “I’ve been saving all my love for you. I saved a thousand kisses and sealed them in a jar—I told myself that I’d wait to give it to you at the appropriate moment. It feels like this is the appropriate moment, doesn’t it?”
“Oh, yeah! What else is in the jar? Only kisses? Do I get some other goodies too?”
“There’s lots of stuff,” Glais promised, with a twinkle in his eye. “Enough to keep us entertained for a few whole lifetimes—we couldn’t possibly get bored with all the stuff that’s in my love jar.”
Varia burst out laughing at this. She smiled at him until the light from her tablet went out, plunging them into a deeper darkness in the cave. She suddenly had darker, more introspective thoughts. “You know, when your dad died. I once made a promise to take care of you like a sister. And a sister would not let her brother do this. If I were your sister, I would tell you to forget that crazy chick who wants you to elope with her and throw your life away.”
“Likewise, a brother would not let his sister do this,” Glais said, “but I’m not really your brother—thankfully. Varia, I know exactly what I’m giving up by leaving the world behind. Trust me, I know. But do you even know what I’m giving it up for? Do you even know how much you’re worth to me, how everything else in the world pales in comparison to you?”
She stared in wonder at his speechifying.
“Sure, I like the feel of a paintbrush in my palm. I also enjoy the thrill of a sword in my hand as much as the next guy. But the deep satisfaction of having you in my arms—how could anything compare to that? I’d gladly give up the whole world and more for you, because you are the most valuable thing I could possibly have and hold.”
“Sedna help me,” she murmured into
the water. “I’m sold on the idea, and he keeps on selling me. It must be my lucky day, because I love a good sales pitch.”
Glais grinned, reading her lips. “Sorry, it was a long plane ride over here. I prepared like seven different speeches based on possible conversation scenarios. I even had a speech about outer space!”
“Ooh, I want to hear that one,” Varia said, bouncing slightly in excitement.
“It seems silly and dramatic now,” Glais said in embarrassment. “Just that I didn’t think living in Antarctica with you was that crazy, and I would have done much more to be with you. Like for example, I’d go to outer space with you. Then I went into the details of spaceships and extraterrestrial life forms… anyway, maybe that speech sounded cooler in my head.”
Varia smiled. “I bet Kaito would have loved to hear about the extraterrestrials. I’m going to miss the kids.”
“Maybe we’ll see them again someday,” Glais suggested.
Varia nodded. “You know, the Wikipedia article on Lake Vostok said that the conditions down here are similar to the subglacial lakes on Europa. That’s why they started digging into the lake and doing research here. To try to guess what it’s like on one of Jupiter’s moons.”
“Yes!” Glais said, pumping his fist in the water. “I knew my outer space speech would spark an interesting discussion! I knew there were parallels between Antarctica and outer space! The unknown frontiers…”
She smirked at him. “I asked Mom when I was younger if she thought that mermaids could colonize Europa. Wouldn’t that be a good idea? We already own all the oceans of earth. Why fight a pointless war against the land-dwelling nations? Why not expand our sights to a beautiful new world. If we were lazy, we could turn it into a penal colony, like Australia used to be. We could send prisoners from the Clan of Zalcan there, and give them a fresh start.”
Tides of Tranquility Page 33
