He frowned and lifted a finger to his face like it held ten tiny seeds on its tip. "Worms, caterpillars, birds, you name it—they'll all eat those seeds to fill their bellies. But a gardener? No, not a smart one. A smart gardener who finds such a beautiful seed will nurture it, plant it in the right soil, water and feed it, and then, that gardener will watch the first sprout."
"What's it like when you see a sprout?"
Grump sucked in his breath and slowly lowered his hand. "Black earth gives way to green, a little tendril that's so beautiful and so promising you can't help but love the way it curls so slyly, how it casts a pygmy tongue of a leaf to drink what rain and sun may come. It was such a tiny nothing among so many others, but now, now it has broken above an early grave and started its journey to being a giant. That is what seeing a sprout feels like."
Boil said nothing for such a long while it forced a few blinks from Grump. He pulled his gaze toward the greenskin, who for his part just stared at the chubby infant in Grump's arms.
"You really think she could be a redwood?" Boil asked. "You think this seed might grow in to something grand?"
Grump nodded, passing his fingers gently down her arm. "She'll be mightier than any redwood, that's for sure."
There are no wizards in Oya.
"Tell me, Boil, knowing what I just said, do you think the wizard might let me stay? I'm a gardener. I need to see the seeds I planted sprout beyond the black. Rose, she's going to do great things. Important things. Things a troll could never hope to do. I must see her do them. It's my right. Mine."
Boil leaned against Grump's arm and sighed. "You know they've got a word for that, buddy."
"Who does?" Grump asked.
"Who's they?" Boil snickered and pushed away from Grump. "They is everybody, except maybe your people. I mean, even my own ... well, most of my own never said it, but I still knew what it was."
"What in all the hells are you talking about?"
"Love, Grump." Boil rolled his eyes and swept an arm toward Rose. "You love her. That's what love is, watching a seed become more than a seed, watching it grow into something great and doing everything you can to make it happen. You love that little girl, and you love her more than anyone I've ever seen love anyone else. Emperor knows greenskins don't care much about each other, but I don't think I've ever seen even fair folk care about their own children as much as you care about Rose."
"She might look like fair folk, but I see a more inside her."
"What, like a troll?" Boil asked.
"She's got no troll inside her. That's for sure."
There are no wizards in Oya.
"Well, it doesn't matter much anyway. I doubt the wizard will want either of us around. She wants Rose. That's it. And you know what? I'm fine with that."
Grump's pulse quickened. He shot an annoyed look at the goblin. "Why would you say something cruel like that?"
The goblin rolled his eyes for the second time. "Grump, you were never supposed to be her babysitter. We're bringing her to the wizard. The wizard will take her, give us our wishes, and we'll be on our way. We can't stay there. She's not for us."
"Oh and you're so certain? How convenient, that I'll have to keep distance from this wizard of yours and turn tail and run as soon as we finish."
"Because I don't want you to get hurt!" Boil whipped around and crossed his arms. "And I know when the time comes you won't want to give her up, even though you want this wish of yours almost as much as I want mine. It'll end badly for you if you don't do exactly as I say. Rose must go. You can't stay with her. If you value your life, you'll listen to me."
"Bah, you don't know me."
"Then accept that I know wizards, seeing as how I work for one. I know their history. Trolls don't. Your kind know spit about the past because that Hunger won't let them remember it."
There are no wizards in Oya.
"And diggers are all proud scholars?" Grump asked.
Boil spun around with daggers in his eyes. "Yeah, I'm a damned digger. I knew nothing before I saw the sun, which is kind of where you are right now, wouldn't you say? But when I walked the world instead of hiding from it, I learned a thing or two. I'm not afraid of what's out there. I'm not a coward, even if I'm smaller than damned near everything else that walks and talks in these cursed lands. But you wouldn't know about that. You don't care about anything but yourself and a baby—and I bet you only care about her because she can't talk back and tell you how awful you can be!"
Grump recoiled. Boil slouched a bit, like a wax sculpture against a cooking fire. "I'm not trying to be mean, but the Wizarding War wasn't some fairy tale. If your teacher really was wise, she would've taught that sometimes it's better to let things go. You can't keep everything because not everything's yours to keep."
A burning feeling crawled into Grump's veins, the Hunger—the gods-damned Hunger—woke. This greenskin woke it. Boil wouldn't—couldn't—ever know what Teacher wanted. Only Grump knew her. No one else.
There are no wizards in Oya.
Grump's lips flattened. A force came over him, a deep, calm rage that he hadn't felt in so very long.
He wrapped his hand around Boil's neck. Even through his flesh, Grump felt the softness of his backbone, like moss under a layer of silky mud. "There are no wizards in Oya," he growled.
"Ah ... Grump? What—what're...?" Boil coughed and gagged. He writhed in Grump's grip as tears welled in his eyes.
Grump's jaw tightened. "Do not ever think you can mutter a word about Teacher and not pay a price. I know you lie to me. I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your words. You'll betray me, just when I trust you most. You think I'm stupid? You think I'm some dimwitted oaf?"
"Grump ... please ... stop ... you don't...." Boil's cheeks turned cherry red. His hands slapped and clawed Grump's wrist.
Boil deserved death. Who cared about a goblin? They were one in a million. Even a troll from the blackwoods knew a goblin was as replaceable as the next breath.
Break. Tear. Bleed. Boil's breath washed over Grump's wrist. It would be the last breath that little cancer would ever take.
Scarlet rimmed Grump's vision. So much beauty in red. Life. Pain. Joy. All of it was red. He wanted it. He hungered for it.
"Please," Boil gasped, "Stop. Stop!"
"You lie. You cheat. Now you die."
"No ... Please...." The glittery light in Boil's eyes began to fade. His swipes against Grump's hands lost their strength. It only made Grump squeeze harder. Maybe he'd pop little goblin's head like an overripe tomato.
"I'm ... sorry ... Grump." Boil's hand slapped weakly against Grump's wrist. "I ... didn't mean...."
Tears coursed down Grump's cheeks and splashed on the cave floor. Boil managed a weak smile. His eyes rolled back. He would die. Then, Grump could feast....
Grump flung Boil away. As the goblin hit the rocky wall, Grump screamed and roared and slapped his hands against his temples. The red faded. Boil gagged and gasped, taking huge, racking breaths. The greenskin stilled. He sobbed on the cave floor, his back turned and quivering.
Grump's own tears were hot against his cheeks. "What have I done?" He looked away from Boil. He didn't know if he would ever be able to look at him again. He was back in the blackwoods again, on that night, that awful, awful night. But this time, it was him who was the monster.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Drizzle
Grump and Boil spoke no words that following day. The little greenskin had a purplish ring around his neck, a painful reminder of Grump's hands choking the life from him. Boil squatted in the back of the cave and stared at the charcoal corpse of their campfire. In his hand he gripped the glimmering blade of a dagger, wielding it before him like the threatening rattler of a cornered snake.
What remained of the storm faded that night. The pounding rains receded to the drip-drip of fat drops slipping from leafy tongues splayed over the ravine. A single, distant thunderhead echoed from the storm as it rolled south, and a toad answered it with a low croak.
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"It should be safe enough to travel now," Boil murmured. "Watch for mud. It's slippery outside."
Grump tucked Rose into her satchel and slung it over his shoulder. He grabbed his shovel and screwed the tip into the cave floor, eyeing Boil quietly. The goblin skirted his reach as he made his way toward the shimmering exit.
Boil reached the portal and tapped its surface. It rippled like the calm face of a lake disturbed by a stone. "Once we leave we can't return. Are you ready to go?"
Somehow Grump managed to swallow the painful lump in his throat. "I—"
Boil stepped outside without waiting for Grump to finish. The greenskin shivered and rubbed his elbows, then made his way to the rushing river and waited.
"He'll never forgive me," Grump muttered. "You damned fool of a troll. You're a monster, a gods-damned monster, and that's all you'll ever be."
He took a deep breath and followed Boil outside. The air was fresh and tasted of the storm, but even then the open night did little to ease his anxieties.
"I thought I was better, Boil. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'll never be. What came over me—it wasn't me. I swear it wasn't."
For a long while, Boil stood silently and stared at the river. Just as Grump was about to say something else, the goblin whipped around, glaring frigid daggers at Grump from the orbs of his round, ruby eyes. He looked like he wanted to speak. He even lifted his hand, and his lips peeled apart. But in the end, he merely shook his head and headed into the forest.
Grump trudged after his guide. "Forgive me, Boil. Please. I didn't mean to hurt you. The Hunger, it just latched on to me. Being stuffed in that cave for so long and helpless to the storm, and then with what Dain said—"
"Don't talk to me about latching on to anything," Boil grumbled, rubbing his neck. "I thought you were going to kill me. Did you really want to kill me?"
Grump's stomach twisted, and his gaze dropped. "But I stopped in time. I didn't kill you."
"That's not what I asked. Did you want to kill me? Did you want to see me die?"
A few deep breaths came and went. Grump ground his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut. "For a moment, I did want to see you die."
Silence settled between them. Grump looked up to find Boil watching him from a distance.
"This is the Hunger," Grump said. "This is what it means to be a troll."
"You've lived your life wanting to be more than a troll! Everything you've done is so you can be more than that sick power inside you. The Grump that saved me in Getshabal was more than just a troll. In all the days we've been together, I've never once thought of you as just a troll. I've always thought of you as a friend. Even when you weren't a friend to me. You know why? Because I saw how hurt you were. I pitied you. For all your strength and power, little old me pitied you."
"Boil, I—"
"Oh, just shut up. You saved me from the haunts. I saved you from Dain. We're even. I can let a lot go, Grump. All my life, I've been treated like less than trash. But after all we've gone through, for you to believe the words of that, that, that centaur's ass of a knight over me? And then you try and murder me? I don't know if I can ever let that go."
"You have to forgive me, buddy. I'll never hurt you again, I swear on every ancestor of mine shining in the sky. I wasn't myself."
"That's the problem." Boil shot Grump an angry scowl, jabbing his finger straight at his eyes. "You were yourself. You just don't want to admit it."
The words hurt like a thousand hornets burying their stingers in Grump's heart. He bit his lower lip, his brows furrowing together.
"The wizard of Grand Mountain is real," Boil said, lowering his trembling finger as he turned away. "Do what you want when we get there. It won't be long now. The wizard's tower is at the base of the mountain, and we'll reach that in a few days. I know the safest path."
Another torturously long moment passed. Grump placed a hand on Rose's satchel. "I don't deserve either of you."
Tears rolled down Grump's cheeks. They splattered on his chest and dripped on his overalls.
Boil sighed. Then, Boil groaned, and it rolled in to one long, loud, melodramatic moan. "Quit crying, you giant baby. We've got a mission to finish, and playing your wet-nurse wasn't in the job description."
Grump wiped the snot from his nose along his forearm. "Okay. Coming."
And so they continued on their journey. The walls of the ravine were steep and caked with slick, chocolaty mud. Boil scaled fairly easily, but it was hard going for Grump. He used exposed roots as handholds, but even then nearly fell every other step he took. Eventually, he climbed his way out, and he and Boil silently headed deeper in the forest.
Every so often Grump would try to make conversation, to joke, or to point something out that might be interesting. Boil played along, but only half his heart was in it and he didn't care to hide it. Grump gave up after a while. He followed a few paces behind the goblin, but there might as well have been a chasm between them.
The night drew on and eventually the sky paled against a rising sun. Idly Grump wondered if his friend would even bother finding shelter. Why risk bringing this monster to the wizard when he could just let the sun do its job and carry Rose the rest of the way himself?
But Boil didn't let the sun stone Grump. As always, the little greenskin found a shallow shelter beneath the knotty roots of an ancient sycamore. Grump slept there in the mud with spiders and centipedes while Boil climbed the tree and stood guard during the day. And so it went for day after day after day, until the low, murky forest began to climb great boulders and unfriendly cliffs.
Knowing Dain and his knights of the Order might very well share these same woods did little to calm Grump during those dreary nights. The thought left a veil of fear in the dank and moldy air of the ancient forest. Even the birds and buzzing insects that once pierced the quiet dripping of a wet canopy refused to sing.
Night had just come to its deepest point. Every so often, the moon's silvery spears penetrated deep enough to give the forest some smoky form while the larger creatures of the night rustled leaves and creaked branches.
Grump bit his lower lip and looked at his friend's back. "The forest floor is getting rockier. We've even had to climb a few cliffs."
Boil said nothing. Grump ground his teeth. "We're in the foothills of the mountains, aren't we?"
"We are," Boil finally said in a tone usually reserved for annoying children. "I added a couple days to the journey in case your knight friend is waiting for us on the mountain's eastern slope. We circled around farther to the west. It'll be safer that way. Is that okay?"
"Of course it is. I ... Boil...." Grump rubbed the back of his head, fighting with his words. "I want things to go back to the way they were."
Boil halted. He clenched and unclenched his fists, glancing over his shoulder. "Things are fine, Grump."
"No, they still aren't. I just ... I want you to know I've changed my wish."
That perked the greenskin's ears right up. He faced Grump with suspicious eyes. "So you've got a new wish now? You know you never told me the old one. What was it?"
Grump swallowed and tried ignoring the itch suddenly thrashing along his great scar. "It doesn't matter now because I have a new one. And I want to tell you that one because it's the one that really matters."
Boil crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow. "Okay, what're you going to ask the wizard? No more Hunger? I bet that's it, isn't it?"
"Honestly, I did think about that." His gaze drifted down to Rose, that tiny peach ball that slept while the world turned. "But I don't want to wish my Hunger away. That won't solve my problems. My power is my Hunger, but even taken from me what will stop these hands from hurting someone else? Trolls are strong. We're big. We don't need Hunger to kill."
Boil sighed and pinched the bridge of his pointy nose. "Just keep your first wish. I'm sure it's a good one. Whatever guilt you have, let it go."
"No, I'm changing it. Getting rid of my Hunger won't just fix wh
at's wrong with me. I'm gonna wish that I could never hurt anyone again. Not human, not goblin, not troll, not anyone." Grump sucked the snot up his nose and looked at his friend with a smile. "That's my wish. That'll fix things. Hunger won't matter if I can't hurt with it, and the way I figure it that's a wish a wizard could easily grant."
"But what if someone attacked you? What if someone tried to hurt Rose?"
Grump shrugged, his hand resting on her satchel. "I don't deserve Rose. I'll just hurt her like I hurt—" He cut off his words and cleared his throat. "I'll just hurt her one day. Rose needs the protection of a wizard if she's gonna survive this world. It's not the place of a troll to do the job."
"You'd really give up everything for her?" Boil asked.
"Everything and then some. But at least knowing I couldn't hurt anybody would mean I could never hurt her or you ever again. And that's all that really matters. I don't want to be a monster anymore."
Boil's ears drooped and he looked to the side. "You're not a monster, Grump," he sighed, the hardness in his voice now soft as cotton.
"Bah! Don't be so down about it. This is good! We're almost to the tower. Just please, tell me you're still my friend. Tell me when this is all said and done I won't lose you ... Please?"
"Grump..." Boil's nostrils flared as he wrestled the emotions behind his squirming lips. He blinked and turned his back swatting the air. "Of course you're my friend."
Grump beamed a smile. "Thank you."
"Stupid troll. Now let's get going. We've got one more full day and night before we reach the mountain.
"After you."
The chilly wind brought a measure of joy to Grump's stride. If he listened carefully, he thought he could hear a soothing birdsong in the distance.
Whatever clouds lingered in the sky passed that next nightfall. Boil nudged Grump from his deep slumber and together they shared a pile of grubs the little goblin had collected from beneath rough roots and mossy rocks.
Grump could smell the fear gnawing at his friend's nerves. The greenskin cast uneasy stares sporadically in all directions. Every sound made him start, every whistle of the wind jolting his slender frame.
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