by Riker, Becky
Karlijna took the woman’s hand, “I am sure I will be fine.”
“But,” the lady frowned a little, “I thought you said you had no family.”
Karlijna’s head was beginning to swim.
“Good,” a male voice joined them, but Karlijna couldn’t make out the face, “you found her.”
“Dear,” the woman spoke again, “have you any money, anywhere to go?”
Karlijna tried to answer them, but found her lips wouldn’t move. She tried to shake her head, but everything was getting so blurry, and she couldn’t tell if she was spinning or if it was the world around her.
The next thing the young girl knew, she was lying on a grassy rise, the concerned faces of her fellow passengers swimming above her.
“She’s awake, Erich.”
A cup touched her lips and water slipped through them. It was not cold, but it was wet, a blessed relief after the night’s journey.
“Slowly, now,” the woman spoke as the cup was moved out of reach, “you don’t want to become ill.”
Karlijna closed her eyes momentarily and pushed herself up from her inclined position. The effort was great, but she managed to steady herself.
“You gave us a scare,” the man sat on his heels in front of her.
“I am sorry for the trouble,” Karlijna cleared her throat. They were staring at her intently, and she could not miss the look of dismay on their faces.
The young girl could only assume they were afraid of being burdened with her care. The fact that they had sought her out did not enter her head for one moment. She prayed for strength to stand.
“I thank you for your time,” she silently commanded her legs to lift her. Their obedience was slow and uncertain.
“I should go on my way,” she dusted the dirt from her thin dress.
“Where will you go?” the woman gently held Karlijna’s arm as she spoke.
“Go?” Karlijna hoped these people didn’t think her daft, but she had no sensible reply to give.
The man rose and lifted two of the children into his arms, “Regina, we should get to Maurice’s house. He and Rachel will be worried for our safety.”
“Of course,” the woman slid her arm around Karlijna’s waist, “Come along, dear. It is but a short walk to my brother’s house.”
Karlijna didn’t have the strength to resist, but she could not so easily comply. Where were they taking her and why?
“I don’t know your brother,” she argued softly.
Regina laughed softly, “I should think not.”
Karlijna was feeling lightheaded again and couldn’t remember if these people were in charge of her. It would be nice to have someone in charge of her; she had been on her own for too long.
The walk was short.
Soon she was in the middle of a group of people, evidently not strangers to Regina and Erich. There was confusion and celebration mixed.
“You made it safely.”
“Thanks be to God.”
“Who was the captain?”
“Where is Julius?”
“Who is this girl?”
At the last question, all eyes turned to Karlijna. She self-consciously touched the scarves covering her short hair, grateful they had stayed intact.
Regina stepped forward, “This girl helped us on the boat. She carried Moshe for us. I don’t know if we could have moved quickly enough without her.”
Karlijna looked at the woman in surprise. Regina had tears in her eyes.
One by one, the family came forward and kissed her on each cheek, repeating words, Karlijna didn’t recognize.
Karlijna’s confusion showed for Erich stepped forward and whispered in her ear, “Elohim yevarekh otakh,” he said, “God bless you.”
After more commotion, the group entered the small house.
“You must be hungry,” a woman spoke as she pulled a loaf of bread from a cupboard.
“Maurice,” she spoke to a man standing nearby, “see if there is fish to be had. We must have a feast tonight.”
“Yes,” he nodded, “all our family has come together at last.”
The woman turned back to her guests with a laugh, “That is a joke. Here there is always fish to be had.”
The activity went on around Karlijna without her participation. At one point someone asked her name. She hoped she had given a coherent answer. Someone maneuvered her into a chair on the edge of the room and pressed a cup into her hands. She took a sip and realized it was a broth of some sort. She managed to drink almost half of it before setting it aside.
“Karlijna where are you?” it was Mama’s voice. Karlijna hadn’t seen Mama for weeks. How was it that Mama was calling her now?
“I’m here, Mama,” Karlijna tried to reply, but the words only came out in a whisper.
“Karlijna, is that you?” this time, it was Veronike who spoke as the younger child rounded the corner of the building. The four-year-old’s hair had grown back, with its beautiful curls.
“Veronike,” Karlijna reached out her arms to her sister, “Veronike, you’re safe.”
Veronike shook her head sadly, “You’re not Karlijna,” she backed away, “Karlijna has long hair.”
“Veronike,” Karlijna cried out, “it is me. I am Karlijna. They cut my hair just like they cut yours and Mama’s. Mine just hasn’t grown back yet. Please, Veronike, come back.”
But the child disappeared from view, calling, “Karlijna, can you hear me? Karlijna.”
“Karlijna?” the voice did not belong to Mama or Veronike, but it was vaguely familiar.
“Karlijna,” the woman spoke again, “I think you should eat something.”
Karlijna opened her eyes. Where was she? This was not home, nor even the camp, nor any of the other places she had seen in the past two months.
“Karlijna,” Regina clasped her hand, “you’ve been asleep for hours. I think you should try to eat something.”
Karlijna sat up, realizing that she was now in a different room, lying on a mat. It was not much, but it was not bug infested or moldy, and it did not smell like feces or death. It was the nicest place she had lain in months.
She took the plate handed her, knowing she would not be able to eat all that was in front of her – it was more food than all she had consumed in the past week .
“Karlijna,” Regina waited only until Karlijna put some food into her mouth to begin speaking, “Is anyone expecting you here in Sweden?”
Karlijna shook her head, her chewing slowing.
“Are you. . .that is, do you. . . ?” the woman did not finish her question, but Karlijna understood her.
She swallowed and shook her head, “I am almost certain I have no family left, Regina.”
Regina looked as though she wanted to ask more, but closed her mouth and touched the plate, “Eat up, Karlijna, and then see if you can sleep some more. We will talk more tomorrow.”
Karlijna did as she was told, surprising herself by eating the majority of the meal. After she returned her plate to the kitchen, thanking the middle-aged woman who stood cleaning at the sink, she lay down again on the mat and fell promptly to sleep.
“Well, Karlijna,” Erich greeted her the next morning as she came from the small room, “It is good to see you up. You look as though you rested well.”
“I did, thank you,” her words were directed toward Erich, but she looked around at the rest of the people in the room, wondering if she had met them the previous day.
Regina came out of the kitchen, “Karlijna, I think I should introduce you to my family. It was too much last night.”
Karlijna learned that Maurice was Regina’s brother and his wife was Rachel. Also living in the house was their son, Julius, who was out on a fishing boat.
“You haven’t been formally introduced to our children. This is Henry; he is eight. Moshe,” she pointed to the lad Karlijna had carried from the boat, “is three, and Helena is six months.”
Karlijna nodded to all of them, “It is very
nice to meet you. I wish I had a way to repay you for your kindness.”
Rachel stepped forward, “There is no need for this. We are all here because of the kindness of others. Please stay with us for as long as necessary.”
“I do not wish to put anyone out of a room.”
Maurice laughed at that, “A room, you call it? That’s the old cheese house. The people who lived here before us made cheese.”
Rachel put in, “I scrubbed for two weeks before I realized the smell was never going to come out. Does the odor bother you?”
Karlijna’s mind went to a certain train she had ridden, “I never noticed it,” was her earnest reply.
CHAPTER FOUR
It was three days before Karlijna met Julius Goldbloom. He did not explain his long absence to his family, nor did they seem to expect it.
“He sometimes goes out on boats,” Regina whispered as the two followed Regina’s boys to the fish market, “but not to fish.”
“Boats like we came in on?” Karlijna wondered why his family wouldn’t discuss that.
“Not exactly,” she shook her head and began to say more, but they were interrupted.
“Well, now,” Captain Anderson greeted them, “you’re looking better, Miss. I thought you looked as though you might slip from this life to the next with any breath.”
Karlijna smiled at him, “I’m made of stronger stuff than that, Captain. I just needed some good food and a place to sleep.”
He clapped a weathered hand on her shoulder, “I see you’re right.”
He turned to Regina, “I hadn’t realized you were the Goldbloom’s family. They had someone here at the dock almost every day for the past two months, worrying for you.”
Regina nodded, “Rachel told me. It took us longer to get out than we thought.”
The captain’s face became serious, “It takes most people longer than they anticipate. Too bad more people didn’t get out when Maurice did. Some of them. . .”
He didn’t finish, but the women knew he was thinking about how many people didn’t make it out at all.
Regina and Karlijna did not return immediately to the house. Rachel had told them of a small field where some neighbor children played. The older woman thought it would be a good place for Moshe and Henry to work off some energy.
The women sat and watched the boys stretch their legs.
“Karlijna, why did you leave Poland?”
Karlijna looked at her new friend. She had no desire to alienate this woman or her family, but she was not ready to speak of her experiences.
Hoping a simple explanation would suffice, she began, “I came from Belgium, not Poland. I have no family in Poland, so a woman I met suggested I come here, where it is safer. Where there is no war.”
Regina thought on this a moment, her brow furrowed in thought, “But why was it unsafe for you? For us, it was unsafe because we are Jewish. Erich is only half-Jew, but it does not matter to the Nazis.”
Karlijna ran her hand over her face, “My father was arrested for defying Nazi orders. We were all taken: my mother, my brother, my little sister and I.”
Regina shook her head, “I’m sorry. I knew they arrested Gentiles, but I didn’t know they took whole families.”
Karlijna didn’t add that the Nazis would have left them alone if they could be assured that the remaining Bergstrom family wouldn’t continue the father’s work. She hoped the discussion was over.
To her relief, Regina changed the subject to her own experience.
“Erich had a job in the government so he was protected for a while. We never felt secure, but we didn’t believe things were going to get as bad as people said. My brother moved here in 1940. He warned us to get out too, but we said we didn’t want to uproot the boys.”
Regina stopped and wiped a tear from her eye, “I am thankful we did not wait any longer because it is sure to get worse before it gets better.”
Karlijna didn’t wish to pry, but she was curious, “What made you change your mind?”
Regina didn’t seem to mind the question, “Erich was arrested. He was accused of something he didn’t do. While he was sitting in the cell, he heard two officers talking about where they were going to send him and that they would come and take us the next day.
“Erich was terrified. How could he warn us to run, to hide as some of our friends had already done. To his surprise, they let him go, but as he was leaving one guard said, ‘See you soon.’
“Erich tried to look confused, so they wouldn’t know he knew. Then he hurried home, got us and everything we could pull together quickly and got us out of the city. We sent news to Maurice that we were coming as soon as we could. While we waited, we hid in the country with some friends.”
Karlijna didn’t have to ask why they didn’t stay longer with the friends. Hiding Jews was a dangerous undertaking.
“We found out about the boat to come here and were getting ready to leave when the Nazis came to the house where we were staying. Our friends, Rose and Alex, sent us down to the cellar. The soldiers didn’t search the house. They just wanted food, but it was enough to scare us all. We didn’t even bother with our things. We told Rose and Alex to burn everything or sell it, just to get rid of the evidence.”
“I’m sorry you had to leave everything,” Karlijna’s voice was sympathetic.
Regina shook her head, “Not everything,” she nodded toward the two little cherubs in the field, “Everything I value is here with me – safe.”
The ladies let the children play for more than an hour.
“We should get back soon,” Regina looked at the sky. “Today is Friday, and Maurice observes the Sabbath very strictly.”
Karlijna had known Jews in Belgium who did this, but had never been a part of the ritual.
For some reason, she had thought it would be a somber affair, somber and tedious. It was not. Reflecting on it Saturday night, Karlijna realized it was similar to their Sunday gatherings. The family ate together and visited quietly. There was a reading from a book; Karlijna wondered what it was, but hadn’t the courage to ask.
Regina woke her the next morning while it was still dark, “Karlijna, there is a Gentile service today,” her voice was a mere whisper. “Would you like to go?”
Karlijna was touched by Regina’s thoughtfulness, “Would it be offensive to your husband or brother?”
The lady laughed, “No. They know you are not Jewish. They don’t expect to convert you this soon.”
She rose, “I have something for you. Wait here.”
Karlijna stood to her feet and straightened the blanket on her mat. She was reaching for her scarf when Regina reentered the room.
“Rachel and I found – ” she stopped short, “Oh, Karlijna,” the woman reached out and touched the girl’s closely cropped hair.
Karlijna quickly pulled her scarf over her head.
Regina put the garment she was carrying over her arm and reached out to touch Karlijna’s head at the edge of the scarf.
“They did this to you? The Nazis?”
Karlijna gave a little smile, “Please don’t think about it Regina. I’m sorry you had to see it.”
Regina made an attempt to do as she was told, “Rachel and I found an old dress of hers. We cut it down a little so it might fit you.”
Karlijna was delighted at the thought. It had been more than a week since Mrs. Polaski had washed her clothes, “A dress? For me?”
“Yes,” she held it up to Karlijna, “We weren’t sure about the size, but we wanted to surprise you so we guessed.”
Karlijna took the fabric in her hands and realized, with some dismay, it had short sleeves.
She didn’t realize she had spoken until Regina responded, “Is that a problem? July is warm even in Sweden.”
Karlijna didn’t know how to respond. She was very grateful for the dress, more than she could say. Rachel came in the doorway.
She took Karlijna’s hand and gently pulled back the long sleeve.
/> The sight of the numbers on the young girl’s arm was too much for Regina. She covered her face and ran from the room.
“I’m sorry about the sleeves,” Rachel took the dress, “I should have thought. There are others who come – who have also been to the camps.”
Karlijna was still watching where Regina had exited, “I didn’t mean to upset her. It’s a beautiful dress. I just didn’t want people to see. . .”
“How about a sweater?”
Karlijna turned back to Rachel, confusion marring her features.
“I’ll be back in a moment. You can change into the dress.”
Karlijna changed clothes as commanded, but held onto the old dress, using it to cover the offending marks on her forearm. Rachel returned promptly with a lightweight sweater over her arm.
“These marks,” Rachel spoke as she eased Karlijna into the garment, “are not your shame. They disgrace those who put them there. They are a symbol of a survivor.”
Karlijna nodded, “I know I have nothing to feel guilty for, but I do not wish to make others uncomfortable.”
“That is understandable,” Rachel walked her to the door, “but hiding from the truth will not help Regina or anyone else. Sometimes it is better they see it clearly, so they are forced to face it.”
Karlijna thought of Rachel’s words as she walked to the church. She was glad she had good directions because she was not certain she would have met anyone on the way who spoke German, and she spoke no Swedish.
The service was in Swedish, so Karlijna got very little from it. Still, knowing she was among a body of believers who could worship freely, gave her hope and comfort. The ending hymn was familiar to her and, aware that she sang the words in a different tongue, Karlijna softly joined in.
As she exited the church, the middle-aged pastor stood to shake hands. He greeted her in Swedish, but, using the phrase Rachel had taught her, she replied that she couldn’t understand him. He said something else, she thought this was in Polish. She repeated herself.
“German, then?” he finally spoke so she could understand.
“Yes, I understand German,” Karlijna was relieved he understood her.
