“What’s going on here?” he asked, looking first at the receptionist, then at me.
“She’s…she’s here to see you,” Miss Brewisky said, her eyes wide.
He looked at me like he was still trying to figure out why we looked so much alike. “May I help you?” he said.
“Um, I um, I needed to talk to you.” I felt my voice cracking. His face finally seemed to soften a bit.
“What’s this about?” he asked.
I looked at the receptionist, then at my father.
“I need to go.” Miss Brewisky rose from her chair, shook her head, and grabbed a file. “I need to go deliver this. I’ll be back in five minutes.”
I looked at her as she scurried off toward the back.
“My name is Jasmine Jones, and um, I-I’m your daughter.” No sense in trying to beat around the bush. Not that I could even if I wanted to. I was so nervous that as soon as I opened my mouth everything just came pouring out.
“I don’t want anything,” I continued. “I just wanted to know why you never came to see about me. I just wanted to meet you.”
He looked around the lobby, obviously stunned. “Follow me, please,” he said, motioning to his office.
“Who are you? And what are you saying?” he said as soon as we were in his office and he’d closed the door.
“Jetola Jones. In Houston. Do you remember her?” I didn’t give him time to answer. “She’s my mother. My aunt Teela said…” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence. He took me into a big bear hug.
“Looking at you is like looking at an older version of Darla and Carla,” he said, pulling himself away from me. He stared at me and smiled. A single tear fell down his cheek. “I had no idea. I can’t believe this. I had heard rumors, b-but when I asked your mother about it…I-I had no clue.” He was stuttering. He was just that shocked, I supposed.
I had to catch my breath. This was definitely not the reaction I had been expecting. Could he be telling the truth? Was he serious?
“You’ve got to believe me when I say I didn’t know. Me and your mama…” He paused and shook his head. “I was at a rough time in my life and your mother was there for me. But—I had no idea,” he said, squeezing me again.
I was stunned. I was ready to go off on him, yell at him for abandoning me. “But she said you left us.” This wasn’t making any sense. Had my mother just outright lied?
“I couldn’t leave what I didn’t know I had.” He rubbed my hair. He looked like he was still in shock. “I saw Jetola a few years back, and she never said a word. Never gave me any inkling that you existed. Just look at you. Any fool could tell you’re mine,” he said.
When Miss Brewisky came over his speakerphone and reminded him of the meeting that he needed to get to, he even told her to tell the assistant superintendent to fill in for him. For the next two hours, I sat and told my father all about my life. After that, we walked out to his Lexus and got inside. I felt like a princess, riding in that luxury car. Everything was moving so fast. I smiled as I envisioned my life now that my father was in it.
We ended up eating at a restaurant on the Kemah boardwalk. I was on cloud nine as we spent the rest of the evening talking and catching up. He seemed so excited to know that I existed. He had one son older than me, who was away at Howard University, and twin daughters, two years younger than me. He’d been the superintendent of the La Marque School District for the past two years.
As he shared details of his life with me, I couldn’t help but wonder how my life would have been if I had been raised with him. And I definitely wondered where I’d fit into his life now that he did know about me.
After we finished up dinner, my father dropped me off back at the administration building.
“Are you going to be okay driving home?” he said. “I don’t know what I was thinking, keeping you out this late. You shouldn’t be on the road by yourself.”
It felt so good having a father to worry over me. “It’s okay. It’s not even dark yet,” I said.
He smiled. “Listen to me, sounding like an overprotective father.”
I nodded. I liked the sound of that. I opened the car door to get in.
He grabbed my arm. “Jasmine, I’m glad you found me. I really am.”
I flashed a smile. “I am, too.”
“You call me when you make it home. You still have my cell phone number?”
I patted the pocket of my jeans. “Right here. I’ll call you and let you know I made it.”
“And you’ll call me every day after that?”
I reached up and hugged him. “Of course.” He kissed my cheek as I got in the car.
I looked in the rearview mirror and watched my father standing in the parking lot watching me drive off. I waved one last time and settled in for my forty-five-minute drive home.
This had to be one of the best days of my life. Next to any time I spent with Donovan, of course.
On the drive home, my mind went back to countless conversations with my mother, where she’d made my father out to be some kind of monster. My mom had done a lot of foul stuff as far as I was concerned. But this, I thought, this had to be the worst.
19
T his was the second weekend in a row I’d spent with my father and the second time I’d felt my heart drop when it was time to leave. This time, at least, he was taking me home, so I was getting a little extra time with him.
When we pulled up in front of my apartment, I didn’t want to get out. I didn’t want him to leave because every time he did I was scared I would never see him again. He must’ve been reading my mind because he reached over and touched my hand.
“I don’t plan on losing you again. I don’t know why your mother didn’t tell me, but you have to know that I would never abandon my responsibility.” He smiled and shook his head. “Man, it’s amazing how much you look like your grandmother, too. When I first saw you it was like looking at pictures of her.”
I smiled, wishing I’d gotten a chance to meet her. My father told me she’d died last year. My mother had taken so much from me.
“Do you wanna come up and meet my other grandmother?” I said.
“Leona? She lives with you guys?”
I nodded, forgetting that he would know my grandmother. We spent so much time talking about his family, his job, my school, and my sister and brothers, that we never talked about my mother or grandmother. I had tried to steer the conversation there a few times, but he always changed the subject.
“You can come up and say hi,” I said. I hadn’t told anyone but the girls about finding my father. I was ready for my grandmother to know. I knew she’d tell my mother. I’d been too scared to bring it up.
My father hesitated, like he was debating what to do.
“Sure, it’s long overdue,” he finally said.
We walked up to the apartment door, and I took a deep breath. I searched for my keys and opened the door to an embarrassing sight. It was nothing out of the ordinary. My brothers and some of their friends had transformed the living room into a pigsty. Junk was everywhere and I wasn’t even going to attempt to get their attention as their eyes followed colorful characters on the screen.
“You guys better start cleaning up that living room before I beat you into next week!” I heard my grandmother’s voice barreling from the back room.
“Some things never change,” my father said with a smile.
I looked at him. I wished I had never suggested he come up.
“I’m just remembering your grandmother’s voice,” he said. “She threatened me many a day with that voice.”
When my grandmother appeared in the doorway, she dropped the glass she was holding, looked at my father, and shook her head.
The crashing noise made me jump, but for some strange reason, I felt incredibly safe knowing I was in my father’s presence.
“Well, look what the cat done drug in,” my grandmother said. She didn’t crack a smile.
“Hello to you, too, Leona,”
he said.
Suddenly my grandmother’s icy stare had me feeling uneasy. “Look what you done made me do,” she said. “Girl, rush and get me the broom before one of these boys cuts themselves.”
I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want to leave my father there alone.
“So what are you doing here?” I heard my grandmother ask him. I quickly grabbed the broom and dustpan and ran back to the living room. I didn’t want to miss a single thing.
“Just building a relationship with my daughter,” he said.
“Is you now?” my grandmother said. They almost seemed to be doing a stare down. But even though my grandmother was way shorter than my father, she didn’t seem the least bit intimidated.
“Are you Jasmine’s daddy?” Jalen said, tugging on my father’s pants leg.
My father looked like he didn’t want to take his eyes off my grandmother, but he shook off whatever it was that was unspoken between them. He looked at Jalen and smiled. “I am. And you must be Jalen.” I was surprised he’d remembered my brother’s name.
Jalen nodded, flashing his cute dimples. “That’s me.”
“Boy, get on back over there and watch them play that game,” my grandmother said as she shooed him away.
I started cleaning up the mess. “Suffice it to say, I’m sure your mama don’t know nothing about this,” my grandmother said.
“Maybe you should call Mom at work,” I said. I was thinking if my grandmother broke the news over the phone, it would give my mom time to calm down on the way home.
“Oh, I’ma call her, all right,” my grandmother snarled as she frowned at my father. She spun around on her heels and walked back into the kitchen.
When she emerged a few minutes later, she held the phone out toward me. “Your mother wants to speak with you,” she said.
My father’s cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID, then stepped to the side and turned his back, speaking into the phone in a low voice.
I took the house phone and got ready to give my mother major attitude. I didn’t get the chance.
“Have you lost your mind!” my mother screamed. “Why did you bring that man into my home? How did you find him? Why would you do that?”
I tried my best to remain calm. “You wouldn’t give me any answers. So I searched for them on my own. And I’m glad I did. He didn’t even know I existed. Mama, how could you do that?” I felt myself getting mad all over again. “He wants to know me. He wants a relationship with me and you took that from me…”
I couldn’t help it anymore. The emotion seemed to overtake me and I felt my shoulders slump as I burst into tears.
My father walked over to me, took me in his arms, and eased the phone out of my hand. I heard my mother screaming at him and he just kept saying, “Uh-huh.”
“Jetola, we need to sit down and talk. Now is not the time, but believe me when I tell you, this is far from over,” he said. He pushed the end button on the phone and pulled me closer as I continued to cry on his shoulder.
Normally, there was no way I’d have ever let my brothers see me bawling, but right about now, I didn’t care. Right about now the only thing that mattered to me was how safe I felt in my father’s arms. It was a feeling I’d been missing all my life. And I knew one thing—I didn’t care how mad it made my mother or what she said—I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away.
20
M y vision was clouded by tears as I stared at my mother. But I was determined not to cry. I wanted so badly to say what was really on my mind but I just stood there biting my lip.
My mother stood in the entrance to my bedroom, her chest heaving up and down. Strands of her hair had come loose from the tight bun she always wore.
“I don’t believe you,” she hissed. “Not only do you go behind my back! Then you have the nerve to smart-mouth me?”
I hadn’t meant to get smart with my mom but when she came home and started yelling at me for bringing my father here, I just kind of snapped and told her it wasn’t my fault she messed with a married man who didn’t want her. And she had no right to keep him from me. Oh, she went straight ballistic. If my grandmother hadn’t been home, they’d be picking out flowers for my casket right about now.
“Jetola, calm down,” my grandmother said.
“I just wanted to know my daddy.” I sniffled as I wiped my nose.
“If you needed to know your daddy, you would’ve known your daddy,” my mother growled. She turned to my grandmother and threw up her arms. “After all I’ve done for her. As hard as I work. She gon’ do this. Then she’s gon’ try and stand in judgment of me!” My mother was crying, something I’d never seen before.
I peered from the side of the bed. I noticed Jaquan, Jaheim, and Nikki peeking in the door, no doubt trying to be nosy and see me get my butt beat.
“You don’t know nothing about what I was doing!” My mother lunged at me again. I scurried out of the way again.
“I’m sorry, Mama. I didn’t mean it.”
“Oh, you meant it, all right. You meant every word.” My mother was trying to catch her breath as tears fell down her face.
“Jetola, why don’t you let me talk to Jasmine and you go sit on the balcony and calm down.” My grandmother gently took my mother’s arm.
My mother stared at me. It was a glare that seemed to go straight through my body. I know my eyes were filled with fear.
“Don’t you ever disrespect me like that again,” my mother said calmly as she caught her breath. “I gave you life. Don’t you ever, as long as you walk this earth, disrespect me again.”
“Jetola, go on,” my grandmother said.
My mother gritted her teeth before turning and storming out of the room. Jaquan, Jaheim, and Nikki all took off, trying to get out of her way.
My grandmother stood with her arms folded across her chest. “Do you have a death wish, girl?”
I came from around the side of the bed. “Granny, I wasn’t trying to hurt her. I just wanted to know who my daddy was.”
“Some things are best left unknown.” My grandmother shook her head. “And you sho’ coulda handled this a whole lot better. Sit down,” she said, pointing to the bed.
I sat next to my grandmother, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I sat down. My hair was all over my head—I looked a hot mess.
“Now, you want to tell me what you were trying to prove by tracking down your daddy when your mother had made it clear that she didn’t want you to do that? And then, on top of that, bringing him here?”
I plopped down on my bed. “Granny, she doesn’t have the right to keep me from my father.” I lowered my head and started playing with my fingers.
My grandmother sat on the bed next to me. “Sometimes we don’t always understand our parents’ decisions, but we have to trust they know what they’re doing. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. Just like God. We don’t always understand why He does some of the things He does, but we have to trust that He has our best interest at heart.”
“You’re right, because I don’t understand why she wouldn’t want me to know him. He seems so perfect.”
“Chile, ain’t nobody perfect but God.”
I let out a long breath. “Granny, how could Mama have messed with a married man? What type of woman was she?” My mother never had been one to date a bunch of different men. All she did most of the time was work. “I never would’ve expected her to do something like that,” I said.
My grandmother squeezed my hand. “There’s a lot you don’t know about your mama. She’s had a hard row to sow. So don’t sit there and try to judge her, okay? Don’t judge nobody. Leave that to the Lord.”
“But I don’t understand. He’s been married over twenty years. And Granny, he was so happy to meet me. He said Mama had kept me from him all these years. How could she do that? Why would she do that?” I needed to make sense of all that had unfolded.
“Like I said, everything ain’t meant for us to understand,” my grandm
other said as she pinched my cheek.
I looked at the door. Jaheim was peeking his nosy behind through the door again. I turned back toward my grandmother. I had planned to just ease into what I really wanted to say. But I was so upset I decided to just blurt it out. “Well, I want to go live with him. And he said I could come.”
“Did he now?” My grandmother nodded like she wasn’t the least bit surprised.
“Yes, and I want to go. Granny, no disrespect, but things would just be so much better. He’s a doctor and he lives in a huge house in a gated community. It has five bedrooms.” I was feeling better already about the prospect of my own room, living in a big house, with a normal family. It meant I’d have to transfer schools again, but I didn’t care. I’d finish out the semester, then transfer to school down there.
“Better for who?”
I lowered my eyes, but didn’t respond.
“Oh, I get it. Because he lives in that fancy house in that ritzy neighborhood, you think he’s the be all to end all?” My grandmother laughed.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, you said what you meant.” She stood. “Our little apartment is nothing compared to his mansion and you think that living there will make your life so much better?”
This conversation was not going the way I wanted it to. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my grandmother’s feelings as well. “I just want to go live with him, that’s all.”
“Let her go.”
Both my grandmother and I turned our attention back to the doorway. Neither of us had noticed my mother come back in.
“Jetola, she’s just upset—you both are. Neither one of you is thinking clearly,” my grandmother said.
“Oh, I’m real clear. Let her go. Since I’m such a horrible mother and our life here is so miserable, let her go. Let her go live with her daddy and his wife. Then she’ll see how bad I really am.” My mother turned and stormed out of the room. I heard the front door slam a few minutes later. I felt the tears I had been fighting back earlier begin to fall down my face. But I didn’t know if they were tears of sadness or joy.
Blessings in Disguise Page 9
