by June Kramin
“Bad choice of words.”
Bix laughed. “Fight it out. Speaking of the duke, has he made an appearance again?”
“Nope. Seems he took no for an answer.”
Ellie walked up the stairs and was surprised to see them there. “Hey!” She gave each one a hug. “Coffee?”
“No. We wanted to give your boyfriend a break and take you to see Nancy. Maybe if we’re all together we can get somewhere with her.”
Ellie’s smile faded. She looked at Bix, fishing around for an excuse to say why she wasn’t going to go. He must have read her mind because he shook his head no.
“I’ll go get dressed,” she said, reluctantly.
On their way out, Bix didn’t like the way Ellie’s face suddenly looked flushed. He took her by the arm, stopping her. “Is something wrong, babe?”
She shook her head no and hesitated before speaking. “I was just planning on not going today. That’s all.”
“Don’t get mad at me for saying so, but I really want you to make an effort with her, Ellie. I think she feels you’re upset with her. I’m sure she’d heal faster if she was a little…happier. You mad at me for saying so?” Again she shook her head no. “Then what’s wrong?”
She wouldn’t meet his eyes. She picked at a button on his shirt. “I just don’t want to go.”
“Please? Do it for your brothers if nothing else.” He brought her head to his lips and gave her a kiss. “I love you.”
She finally looked up. “I love you, too.”
Ellie was quiet in the car. As she was getting her coat on, her gut had wrenched in a way that made her afraid. It had nothing to do with the surgery. Something made her fear for Nancy, but she couldn’t explain it. She always hated what happened between them and never liked talking about it. Nancy never addressed it so Ellie never wanted to either. Ellie was always afraid someone would think she was a freak and claiming to be clairvoyant or something. That wasn’t the case at all.
If she tried to do something, like when they were little and playing hide and seek and Ellie wanted to find Nancy, nothing ever happened. It’s when she didn’t try that it scared her.
With Ellie so upset at Nancy right now, claiming a special closeness was not something she was about to admit to having. She liked to chalk it up as intuition and nothing more and kept her mouth shut about her gut feeling, especially to Bix.
The feeling didn’t go away the whole drive. She was growing agitated with it and starting to get pissed. Even safe in a hospital bed, Nancy found a way to make Ellie’s life a living hell. Safe in a hospital bed. That sentence nagged at her.
“Can’t you get the lead out, Nathan?” she growled at her brother.
“For someone that didn’t want to go in the first place, you sure are anxious to get there, El.”
“Yeah well, the sooner we get there and get turned away by her, the sooner I can get back to a warm house.”
They walked into the hospital and over to Nancy’s room. Holly winked at Nick as they walked by, but they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the empty bed. Ellie walked back out.
“Where is she, Holly?”
“What do you mean? She’s in there. I just left her.”
Ellie raised her voice. “Why the hell would I ask you where she was if she was in there? You saw us just walk in there. She can’t be missing again! Damnit! Where’s the cop that supposed to be here?”
“They took him off duty last night. Said they couldn’t spare him anymore.”
“Why didn’t you call that lawyer of hers? They would have paid someone.”
“He got fired when that duke showed up. Didn’t she tell you that?”
“No, Holly! She’s not telling me things. You know that!”
“Look, Ellie. I know you’re upset, but stop directing it at me.” She picked up the phone and called security. “We’ll search the hospital, she couldn’t have gone far. I saw her not fifteen minutes ago.”
A doctor walked over to the nurse’s station, unconcerned with whatever they were fighting over. “Call me a cab, would you, Holly? My car was stolen again.”
“Gee, Dr. Grant. When are you going to learn to stop running it with your keys — ” Holly slammed down the phone and looked at Ellie.
Ellie took Nathan by the shirt. “Come on. I think I know where she is.”
Nick hurried after them. “How do you know where she is? Wait? You can tell where she is, can’t you?”
“No, Damnit, Nick. It’s just a hunch.”
“Bullshit, El. That freaky twin thing has always creeped me out,” Nick said.
Nathan said, “Ditto. I always have to be the voice of reason in this family, but that night she kicked her toe and you yelled from upstairs…that was effing disturbing.”
“Since when do you say effing?” Nick said with a jab.
Nate pointed to some nuns walking in and Nick laughed. “You’re still going to Hell.”
“You two want to knock it off?”
They both apologized and Ellie quickened her pace to the car. Once they reached it, she leaned against the driver’s door and held her hand up, stopping them.
“Okay. Since she’s been in town things with me have been a little off. Bix said something the night before she showed up that threw me for a loop. It’s like I felt she was home. When she’s around it’s like everything around me screams trouble. I don’t like that feeling now so please, just drop it. I hate what she does to me.”
Nick took her by the shoulder and tried to look serious. “I’ll quit, El. If it makes you feel any better, I hate what Nate does to me too and we’re not even twins.”
Nate gave him a shove away from the car door. “Asshole. She’s having a meltdown and you’re playing funny guy.”
“You see the abuse I take?” He said, smiling at Ellie as he held open the back door for her.
Nate got behind the wheel and waited from them to climb in. “Where to?”
Chapter Fifty-Eight
“Take me to our fort, Nate,” Ellie said.
“The fort? You think she’s there?”
“That’s the only place she’d go. I’m sure we’ll find her there.”
Nate started up the car.
“I need to make a stop at the motel first.”
“What for?”
“’Cause I’m not goin’ out there without our shotguns.”
Nick let out a cheer from the back and hit the ceiling of the truck. Ellie spun around.
“This isn’t a manhunt, Nick. We’re going after Nancy, not trying to catch Shawn out there.”
“But he hasn’t been caught yet, El. What if he took her again and that’s where they went?”
“Why would they go there?”
“Seems to me it’s a perfect hideout.”
“But he wouldn’t know about it.”
“But she does.”
“He would not risk going back to the hospital,” she insisted.
“There’s no guard anymore. What’s to stop him?”
“You two just shut up already,” Nathan ordered. “Ellie, we’re stopping and getting the guns. End of story. I don’t think he’s there either, but I’m not taking any chances. And you, cool it, shithead. You fire that thing for any reason and I’ll wrap it around your neck.”
Nathan ran into the motel room and left Nick to watch Ellie. “I love you, but I don’t trust you not to take off by yourself. I’ll be right back.” He was back in less than ten minutes and they were on their way again.
As Nathan drove past Ellie’s house, she glanced over at it. Everything appeared to be fine. She was starting to miss it and was beginning to resent being made a prisoner by Shawn.
“Nick?”
“What, El?”
“You have my permission to shoot Shawn on sight.”
“Thanks, but I didn’t need it.”
“Can’t you just — ”
“Stuff it. Both of you,” Nate yelled again. “Damn kids. Don’t make me pull this t
ruck over and pummel you both.”
“I was just — ” Ellie was cut off again.
“I don’t care. Let’s just get to the fort, hope to hell that Nancy is there, and get her out and back to the hospital. I don’t like this. I swear one more stunt like this and I’ll kill her myself.”
Nate drove down the hill past Ellie’s house. They could hike to the fort from there, but down the road a little way was a shorter and easier route. He turned on a dirt county road after almost a mile. Another mile on the dirt road and they all spotted a gold Subaru.
“We didn’t ask for a description of the doctor’s car,” Nick said.
“You think there by chance happens to be another person that decided to go to Ellie and Nancy’s fort, dickweed?”
Nick ignored him.
“Can you make the hike, El?”
“It’s not that bad from here.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Yes, Nate. I’ll be fine. When we get there, please let me go in first, okay? I want to talk to her alone.”
“Fine by me. We aren’t getting any further than you with her anyway.”
The hike took fifteen minutes. While some places were heavy with snow, other areas had trees so thick, the ground was bare under their covering. It was impossible to tell if it was recently traveled. There had been a fresh snowfall within the hour and Ellie couldn’t make out if she was seeing Nancy’s tracks or not. Ellie was beginning to get tired so she was grateful when the old fort came into view. It had been at least a year since she had come out here. She took a moment to catch her breath as well as reminisce on her fond memories of her and Nancy’s fort. Maybe they hadn’t always fought — she did have some good memories, too.
Their fort was a deer stand that had been abandoned long ago. She and Nancy had found it when they were seven and kept it a special secret just between the two of them. Eventually they decided to tell their brothers, but only after Nick and Nathan promised to keep the “no boys allowed” rule, unless they were invited. Of course they only finally invited them because they needed help fixing things up, but the boys didn’t mind. They had helped the girls get it off the ground and up on some old logs and even helped them add carpeting, one free square sample at a time. Over the years the small ten-foot square wooden box had been finished off and decorated in a theme nearly fitting of a resort room. From paintings to table runners and curtains, the girls had taken care of their little home away from home.
Ellie daydreamed of playing King Arthur and his court with Nancy and the boys. Nancy always had to be Guinevere of course, but that was okay. Ellie was happy being a knight with her brothers. A smile spread over Ellie’s face as she recalled the time she tied Nancy to a tree saying the dragon needed a fair maiden as a sacrifice.
“You okay, El?” Nate asked, snapping her back in the present.
“Huh? Uh…fine.” She pointed to the fort. “Look. There’s smoke. She is here.” Her brothers had brought a small old potbellied stove out on a sled one year so they would have heat in the wintertime. Nancy must have started a fire.
“Let me make sure she’s alone,” Nick said, trying to get ahead of Ellie.
“No! I’m going. She’s fine.” She took the last few yards to the fort in a hurry, but hesitated at the door. Not wanting to scare Nancy, Ellie knocked before entering.
“Hey,” Ellie said when she walked in and saw Nancy curled up by the fire.
“Why’d you come here, El?” was all she got for a greeting.
“Because your little disappearing act has everyone worried again and like it or not, I care.” All the warmth Ellie felt at the sight of this place was rapidly disappearing.
“Just leave me alone,” Nancy said, curling her legs into her tighter.
“Why? What the hell is wrong now, Nance? Even in the hospital you’re not getting enough attention? This bullshit has got to stop. You’re twenty-five years old, not seven.”
“You just don’t get it, El, do you?”
“Get what? There is nothing to get. You’ve been like this our whole lives. It’s always about you. I’m tired of this game and pussyfooting around poor sick you. It’s time to shake it, Nance. End of story already.”
“Just go,” Nancy said into her legs.
“No. ’Cause now I hurt and guess what? It’s your fault and you’re getting a piece of my mind, like it or not. I’m tired of this, Nance. Everything I did, you had to try to one up. When you couldn’t, you had to belittle what I did and make it not matter. I could have come home with the Nobel Prize and you would have acted like I came home with a tarnished bowling trophy.”
“That’s exactly it. There isn’t anything you couldn’t do, El. I was tired of being in your shadow.”
“My shadow? You were always out to prove you were better than me at everything!”
“Did I succeed?” Ellie had no response to that. If she thought about, she’d know the answer. No. Instead of admitting to the truth, Ellie continued with her angry rant.
“I couldn’t date a guy without you working your way in there and try to get him from me.”
“And how did I manage that?”
Again she forced Ellie to think. “You pretended you were me.”
“That’s right. They didn’t want anything to do with me! Damnit, El. They always wanted you. We were supposed to look so much alike, but they always wanted you.”
“Maybe it’s not always about looks. Did you ever think of that? Maybe if you weren’t so busy trying to be me and steal my boyfriends, maybe someone would have actually cared about you. You were so busy trying to be me, you didn’t give anyone a chance to love you.”
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Ellie’s words must have finally sunk in. Nancy was quiet for a long time and stared at the fire. “I guess when I couldn’t be you, I had to be the exact opposite of you to prove I didn’t want to be.”
“You wanted to be me? Why the hell did you want to be me? I was Plain Jane, you were Madonna. While I wanted to be with only one man, you banged the damn football team. When that wasn’t good enough, you had to go after the one guy I really loved and almost blow that for me, too. You had a duke for crying out loud. Why did you want my small town mechanic?”
“Because he was your small town mechanic, dumbass. I wanted to know what it was like for you. You know? Make love with someone that loved me and really meant it. Not just some damn trophy or whore that will take care of your wants right now and be gone by morning. Not the one that would go to any hotel room with them while the wife is busy shopping.”
“You’re not expecting sympathy here, right? You’re the one that chose this life. No one said, ‘Hey, Nancy, care to fuck your way through life?’ You made yourself look bad in doing so. No one else did this to you. Hell, half the time you made me look bad when you were pretending to be me. The other half…you ripped my heart out. I’m sorry, Nance. I don’t feel bad for you. I don’t have pity for your lost youth or the choices you’ve made. If you want to change your life, then you go change it.”
Nancy still couldn’t meet Ellie’s eyes. She wiped away a tear and looked over to the small table with the toy plastic pink tea set. Ellie caught where her gaze went and she walked over to the table. Ellie picked up the pot and pretended to pour two cups of tea and went over to Nancy, handing her one then sat down in front of her.
“You look like you need a cup of tea.”
Nancy accepted the tea then held it in her lap. She stared down blankly at it then said, “Thanks.”
“Look, Nance. I know it hasn’t felt like it lately, but I do love you. You’re my sister for crying out loud. We’re family. This is our life, not a competition. Can’t we just start from scratch?”
“You said to stay out of your life.”
“Well, I didn’t mean it. I was angry with you. You make it so hard to like you.”
“I’ve been this way for so long, El. It’s all I know how to be.”
“So we learn to love who yo
u are. As long as you keep your hands off Bix, we’ll get along fine.”
Nancy let out a soft chuckle and wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I’m really sorry, El. Being you just brings out the devil in me.”
“So stop being me and start being you.”
“I’m not sure I even know who ‘me’ is anymore.”
“She’s there somewhere.” Ellie scooted beside her and rested her head on Nancy’s shoulder, picking up her hand and lacing their fingers together.
“I miss Mom and Dad.”
“I miss them, too.”
“I didn’t even go to the funeral,” Nancy said with her voice cracking. “They would hate what I’ve become.”
“You know they loved you no matter what. I’ll take you to the gravesite if you want. I think they’d like seeing us there together.” After a pause Ellie asked her, “You going to stick around for a while or you heading back to the royal dickhead?”
“I meant it when I said I wasn’t going back to him. I’d like to stick around for a while, if you don’t mind.”
“I happen to know of a house that’s available. It has a great Internet connection.”
They hugged for a long time. The sudden blast off a shotgun started them apart.
“What the hell was that?” Nancy cried in fear.
“Stay here,” Ellie said in a much calmer tone than she was feeling. “Nick and Nathan are outside. They were worried about Shawn coming around.” At the sound of his name, Nancy’s eyes widened. “It’s okay, Nance. I’ll be right back. Just stay here.”
Ellie looked around the area for her brothers and was relieved to see the two of them were not too far away. They both had their guns at their sides and Nate was hurrying to Nick’s side. Her heart was racing, not even being able to imagine what had happened. Nate punched Nick, sending him sailing backwards. She couldn’t help her cry of, “Nick!” and hurried over as fast as her body would allow.
Hearing Ellie scream scared Nancy and she hurried outside. When she looked over and saw Ellie rushing to Nick’s side, she was afraid he’d been shot. She ran over to join her siblings.
