“When did she pass away?”
“She died just after I turned twelve,” Amanda paused as she seemed to remember that tragic day. “She had fought so hard, as if she knew she had to make it until I was ready to be on my own. I’ll never forget the last thing she made me promise her.”
“What was that?”
Amanda shed a tear as she looked directly into Jack’s eyes. “She made me promise that I would leave Atlantic City.”
That made sense to Jack. He liked Atlantic City, but it was no where for a child to grow up, to spend their life. Amanda had spent enough time struggling to survive in this town. It definitely was time for her to move on, to see the world, to try to find happiness.
“She really was a smart woman,” Jack thought of the life ahead of Amanda. “You have your entire life ahead of you, you can do whatever you want, wherever you want to do it. It must be a great feeling.”
“It is, Jack,” she paused as Jack could see the gears turning in her head. “So, tell me more about Brittany.”
Jack again paused for a second as he remembered Brittany and tried to come up with the proper words to describe perfection. “She really was just like you. She overcame so much in her life and just kept pushing forward, towards what she wanted. Brittany was passionate, caring, intelligent, and driven, really able to do anything she set her mind to. She could also be stubborn, insecure, and difficult at times. I think that made it even harder for me to be with you, the way that you remind me of her. Both of you complicated women, able to love like no one else I have ever known. You would have really liked her.”
“I’m sure I would have. She sounds like like a fascinating woman.”
“She was,” Jack smiled as memories flashed through his head. “You should have seen her with her daughters. She loved those girls so much, they really were the most important thing in her life. It wasn’t like it is with most parents these days, their children seemingly a burden, barely paying attention to them. She was right there with the girls, talking to them, listening to them, always providing the love and guidance they needed.
“Do you ever see them anymore?”
“It’s funny that you ask,” he replied as he remembered Delaney’s call. “I haven’t seen them in nearly eighteen months. Their father wouldn’t allow it.”
“I’m so sorry, Jack,” she said as she gently kissed his chest. “That must be hard.”
“It is hard. I probably wouldn’t even recognize them anymore. Delaney is thirteen now and Bailey is eight. I often think about how they are doing, how much they have grown up over the last year and a half. I think their father was just trying to do what he thought was best for the girls, but it really did hurt not to see them,” Jack paused as he considered what to say next. “But, he is coming around. I am actually going to see them next Sunday.”
“That is great, Jack. How did that come about.”
“Delaney called me today,” he looked at her for a reaction. “She wants us to visit her mother on Mother’s Day. She told me it was time for both of us to try to get over her and move on with our lives, that we needed to do this. For some reason, her phone call finally woke me up to what was important, to what I needed to do, to what Brittany would have wanted. I realized that I had to set an example for the girls. I mean, how can they be expected to ever get over her when they see me not able to do so myself. It was then that I turned around and came back.”
He watched Amanda closely as she processed this piece of information. Would she be jealous of his visiting Brittany? What would she think when she realized the simple phone call of a thirteen year old girl had inspired him to do what she had been trying to get him to do for months? Would she understand?
“I guess I owe Delaney a favor,” she kissed him softly on the mouth. “She sounds like a very special girl.”
“She is,” Jack smiled as he thought of Delaney. “I am glad you understand.”
“Of course I understand, Jack. You went through a very traumatic event, and it is going to take time for you to get over it. You need to take the proper steps to grieve, to eventually understand and accept your loss,” she paused to consider her thoughts as she again became emotional. “I don’t care how you ended up here with me, I am just happy you are here, happy that I can love you. We will work through this together. Do you understand.”
“I think I finally do,” he replied as he returned her kiss.
* * *
Amanda smiled as she felt Jack kiss her neck and realized how much her life had changed during the last few hours.
She felt her mind drift as his mouth moved to her breast and she thought about the conversation they had just had. How could a simple conversation lying in bed be so important, she thought as her body again reacted to his touch. It had been the first step in his healing, the first step in his recovery. He needs to be able to talk about her, he needs to express the way that he feels.
I need to express the way that I feel as well, she smiled as the touch of his fingers brought her back to the present. That feels so good, she closed her eyes as he once again touched her softly and her mind drifted to thoughts of making love to him. Don’t go to fast, Jack, she grabbed his hand as she tried to slow him down, tried to contain her excitement.
“Are you okay,” he asked as he softly kissed her breast.
“I’m good, Jack,” she replied as she again felt her excitement build, their earlier conversation only adding to her feelings for him. “I just want you to know that I meant what I said earlier. I am here for you, Jack, and we can talk about anything. You know that, right.”
“Of course I do,” he smiled at her insecurity. “Don’t worry, Amanda, I’m not going anywhere.”
Reassured by his words, Amanda kissed him again as she felt him move underneath her. As she sat up on top of him, his mouth found her breast, and she felt him on the verge of entering her as she started to quiver in anticipation. Their movement now so natural, he slowly grew inside of her, their bodies again one as he laid down on his back and she enjoyed the fullness of him as she watched him close his eyes and felt his body fully relax.
Amanda gently rotated her hips as she looked down at his face and enjoyed seeing his pleasure as he again opened his eyes, somehow knowing that she was looking at him. His eyes told her all she needed to know as he silently communicated how he felt about her, how she made him feel. Staring into her eyes, Jack held himself rigidly still, and Amanda’s body quaked as she moved up and down against him, finding her spot as her mind embraced the feeling of being loved.
As she closed her eyes and her legs started to shake, she braced her hands on the muscles of his chest as she felt herself moving faster and again starting to lose control. The pressure building, the feeling so intense, her breathing become shallow as her entire body started to tremble and she begged him to finally move, to finally finish what he had started. Finding her climax too soon, she managed to slow down as his first movement nearly lifted her off the bed and the air suddenly escaped from her lungs.
“One second, Jack,” she panted as she pulled herself off of him.
“What’s wrong, Amanda,” he looked alarmed at her hesitation.
“Nothing is wrong, Jack,” she smiled as she bent over to kiss him, her legs still shaking. “I just need to slow down for a second.”
This feels so good, she thought to herself as she rolled off of him and onto her stomach. I have never felt anything like this with a man, she looked into his eyes as she silently invited him to join her. I feel like I have known him all my life.
I know I can trust him, she thought to herself as she closed her eyes and felt his mouth move to her lower back, her entire body again tingling. I know he will be gentle, she felt him move behind her as he rolled her onto her side, the feel of his whiskers tickling her shoulder as she felt his mouth kissing her neck. I know he will make me feel good, she shifted her hips slightly and felt the pleasure of him entering her, her mind losing control.
He moved
slowly and carefully, gently letting her acclimate to her position and enjoy the sensation of him barely inside of her. As she moved back to her stomach, she felt him move more deeply, almost where she needed him to be. Comfortable with where they were going, she finally lifted her hips and allowed him completely inside, her entire body spasming as he pushed all the right buttons.
“That feels so good,” she heard herself pant as she felt the entirety of him inside of her as her entire body shuddered. “Oh my God,” she moaned at she grabbed the bed posts to brace herself as he touched her where she had never been touched before. “Don’t stop,” she screamed as she felt him about to lose control and she needed just a second more. “Oh my God, Oh my God,” she buried her screams in her pillow as both of their bodies erupted and they collapsed onto the bed.
Chapter Twenty
Jack awoke in the middle of the night and smiled as he realized where he was and what had happened as he felt her head lying on his chest.
She looks like an angel, Jack thought to himself as he looked at her, just the dim light of the lamp highlighting her gentle features. I am in love with this woman, he smiled as he thought of her. Kind and caring, peaceful and honest, simple but complicated, innocent yet so uninhibited.
The memories of the night flooded his mind as he lifted his head to find the clock, careful not to wake her. Five-nineteen, almost time for them to leave, he realized as he looked out the window and saw a shadow of light trying to peak through the darkness. How had the night gone so quickly?
I don’t want this to end, Jack realized as he thought about their conversations, thought about what he had felt as he made love to her. She makes me feel at peace, like we are the only two people in this crazy world and that as long as we have each other, everything is going to be okay. God has blessed me with a second chance, his thoughts drifted back to the only time he had ever felt this way before.
“Jack, what are you doing up,” Amanda yawned at him sleepily as he returned to the present.
“It’s a little past five, we’ve been in bed for almost ten hours,” he replied as he kissed her forehead. “It’s nearly time for us to leave.”
“Go back to sleep, Jack,” she closed her eyes as she kissed his chest. “We have time.”
“We should get an early start,” he disagreed as he sat up and let her head move back to the pillow. “We both have a long day of driving ahead of us.”
“I guess you are right,” she sat up and gave him a kiss. “Are you at least going to buy me breakfast.”
“Of course I am going to buy you breakfast,” he smiled as he enjoyed seeing her at her most natural, her hair a mess, her body uncovered, her makeup long gone. “Where do you want to go?”
“I think McGlade’s on the pier is finally open for the season,” she seemed to know exactly where she wanted to go.
“Honey, isn’t McGlade’s that place you used to go to in Cape May when you were a child. That’s almost an hour south of here.”
“You asked me where I wanted to go,” she looked at him with a smile. “That’s where I want to go. We can have breakfast, and then take the ferry to Delaware and be on our way.”
“If that’s what you want to do, it’s fine with me,” he replied, having grown accustomed to the surprises from this amazing woman. “But, we definitely need to get moving if we are going to go through Cape May.”
“Okay, Jack, but stop being so pushy,” she smiled as her hand moved to his stomach. “We still have time.”
Jack smiled as he stopped the progress of her hand and sensed her disappointment. “One second, Amanda. I have to ask you one more thing.”
“What is it, Jack,” she suddenly looked concerned.
He paused as he considered how to ask her this question, the one that had been running through his head all night. Should he kind of feel her out, see where her mind was, consider what she was thinking. Or, should he just ask her, straightforward and direct, letting the chips fall where they may. As he looked into her eyes, Jack settled on something in between.
“Amanda, I know that I love you, and I know that I want to be with you,” he paused nervously as he watched for her reaction.
“I love you too, Jack,” she smiled at him but still didn’t seem to realize what he was asking.
“I also know you feel the same way about me, and I can’t imagine not being with you,” he paused again as he looked into her eyes. “What I am trying to say is that I want you to come to Florida with me. I want us to be together.”
He watched as she was unable to answer, watched as the tears formed in her eyes and she looked away from him. Her pause seemed to last forever as she considered her answer, considered what to say as she tried to form words. For just a second, his body tensed up as he panicked and thought she might actually say no, that she might shatter his dreams.
Then finally, she answered.
“Of course I will come with you, Jack,” she cried as she sat up and put her arms around him, burying her face in his chest. “I love you so much.”
Jack felt the warmth of her tears as she kissed him softly and he prepared to love her once again. Suddenly, his body was completely free, completely at ease as his mind finally found peace. As her mouth found his, he realized the love that he felt for her and the miracle that had happened.
Her love had truly fixed him, he was no longer a broken man.
* * *
Amanda enjoyed the warmth of the water on her back as she softly kissed Jack and enjoyed the feel of his hands washing her body.
She just couldn’t get enough of his touch, and the knowledge that she was going to be with him in Florida was stronger than any drug or aphrodisiac. As she turned her back to him, Amanda smiled as she made plans for their future and she felt his hands delicately cup her breasts, the warmth of the lather gentle on her skin as the water washed it away.
I finally have a home, she thought to herself as he gently kissed her neck and she felt his hands move to her stomach. My life is so different, Amanda remembered what she had felt just twenty four hours earlier. The feeling of being all alone, the feeling of not knowing where she was going, the feeling that she would never be loved.
She turned back to Jack and kissed him softly as she took the soap from his hand. I wish we were already in Florida, she thought to herself as he returned her kiss. There are so many things I need to see, so many things I can’t wait to do. I hope he understands why I have to go to Cape May, why I have to delay our trip, Amanda suddenly felt a touch of sadness as she thought of her mother.
“Jack, I hope you don’t mind going to Cape May this morning,” Amanda looked for his reaction as she enjoyed washing the muscles of his chest.
“I don’t mind at all,” he responded as he closed his eyes and let the soap rinse from his body. “It will be fun to see where you grew up.”
“It may not be so fun, Jack. I actually need to do something for my mother before we leave.”
“I understand, Amanda,” he replied as he again took her in his arms.
“I don’t know why, but I just wasn’t ready to let her go until now,” she looked at him to see if he understood. “But, I need to set her free, and I think Cape May is where she belongs. It was the only place she ever really seemed happy. It won’t take long, I promise.”
“We can take all the time you need. I know what you need to do, how important it is to you.”
“Thanks, Jack,” she felt reassured as she returned to the task of cleaning his body.
Of course he understands, she thought to herself as she washed his stomach, his muscles tensing at her touch. This man understands everything about me, she closed her eyes as she gently kissed his chest. He will always understand me, she felt cleansed as the water washed the soap from his body. He just wants me to be happy, she smiled as she pushed him against the wall and her mouth moved to his stomach.
I just want him to be happy too.
* * *
Amanda stood at the edge of the wat
er, her toes burying in the sand as the waves ran under her feet and raced back to the ocean.
“My mom loved the ocean,” she turned to Jack as she tried to find the proper words to remember her. “This is where she grew up and was the only place she ever really seemed happy. I remember she and my grandmother would bring me here on Sundays. We would go to church and then walk on the beach and have breakfast at McGlade’s,” Amanda could no longer contain her emotions and started to cry.
Jack took her in her arms and tried to comfort her. “That sounds nice.”
“It was nice,” she remembered how it used to feel. “I was only little, but it made me so happy to see her smile, to see her laugh. I remember finding hope every Sunday that my mother would change and that she would be different when we returned home.”
Amanda looked back out at the ocean and remembered the disappointment of her mother never changing. Things would have been different if she had stayed in this beautiful beachside town, maybe found a nice man to love, lived a normal life. She wouldn’t have had to transform into the hardened, bitter women she had become, Amanda thought to herself as she recalled the drive back to Atlantic City when she was a child, her mother shutting down the minute they crossed the bridge, as if she had to become someone else to survive that brutal town.
“I am so glad we are leaving Atlantic City, Jack,” she looked at him and saw that he understood. “Can you give me a minute.”
“Of course I can,” he replied as he took her in his arms her one more time. “I’ll go get us a table. Take all the time that you need.”
“Thanks, Jack,” Amanda smiled as he let go of her hands and watched as he turned to walk back towards the pier. I am so lucky to have found him, she thought to herself as she turned back to the ocean and her thoughts again returned to her mother.
“Mom, I want to thank you,” the tears ran down her face as she looked at the sun rising over the ocean and spoke to her mother once again. “I know you were there to watch over me the last few months, to make sure that I didn’t make the same mistakes that you did. You were finally there to guide me, and I am so grateful for that.”
Broken Man Page 14
