by Tiana Laveen
I have come to realize why this is so. Hassani, as multi-tiered Angel Children, we think a bit differently about life than your average person, and we need someone to keep us more grounded and realistic during our formative years. A civilian that is a Guardian, or a less-gifted Angel Child, can do just that. Your uncle Jagger had your uncle Lawrence, and I had Bomb. Lawrence is Jagger’s peer, but it was still a perfect match and in some way, Lawrence now serves as my Guardian, too. He is multi-tiered, but his personality is thus that he quite frankly, is less volatile and level headed during emotional situations. The norm, however, is typically that the Guardian is at least a few years older than the Angel Child. Still, as my examples show, this is not always the case.
Despite how I treat Angel, Hassani, I care for him very much. The reason why I get on him, and sometimes it is in jest, is because I need for him to mature and not take things so nonchalantly when it comes to your protection. In many ways, Angel is rather immature and destructive, and that is because he did not have a good role model during his most formative years of personality development. No one was there to tell him, ‘Hey, this is wrong’, as well as, ‘Hey, you are doing a great job!’ I am not his father, nor am I trying to be. It is against our bylaws, unfortunately, for me to interfere with him in that capacity. However, I do have the right to give him advice from time to time and to step in if I feel he is putting you in harm’s way. Regardless, the two of you chose one another, and there is nothing I can do about that, nor would I wish to at this time.
He has a lot of potential, and even if he hasn’t told you, he really does love you. He is a popular child, and part of his popularity is due to the fact that he bucks authority; he is a fairly good looking kid with a lot of personality and charisma; he is charming, bright, talented, and rather street slick. He could be anywhere in this city, yet he wishes to spend a lot of his time with you because he simply can’t help himself.
Guardian Angel Children are like that, though. Your mother is also more aware than I gave her credit for. She, too, has known what Angel is about and what he has been doing, so despite him trying to butter her up, she has his number. I can’t help but smile as I write this—he is one funny cat. Anyway, you can come to me too, Hassani. I will always be here for you, as well as your mother, when it seems everyone else has let you down. And trust me, there will be days when you feel rather alone. It is part of the territory, part of who we are and our mission in life. We feel alone because we are so different from many others due to our gifts. Please stay encouraged and know that you were created to do great things and change the world! I do want to give you a bit of sage advice. Please be mindful of your brother’s and sister’s need to have you active in their life. You have a tendency, and you always did quite frankly, to act more like an only child. You live in your own world and go off on your own, but there is no doubt in my mind how much you love your brother and sister. You are very kind to Isis more times than not, and I need for that to continue. You are the oldest, and with that comes some level of responsibility. You have natural leadership qualities, thus, you must not barricade yourself every time the going gets tough. You are prone to being clam-like during these phases, so just remember, it truly is just a phase, a season in time. You are too important to me, your mother, your siblings, this entire country and the world, to do that on a continuous basis. You must take a breather but return better and stronger. This will be your personal battle, your tendency to withdraw from society when you feel overwhelmed. As long as I have breath in my body, I will help you overcome this.
Now, onto you, Dakarai.
Dakarai, the day you were born, my world changed and expanded and became bigger and better, within seconds after you yelled out to the world that you were here. You gave your mother quite a scare. You were born early, considered premature. We’ve recently watched the same thing happen to Jagger’s daughter, Justice, who is less than two weeks old as I write this. By the time you read these words, I have no doubt in my mind that she will be a healthy, thriving young lady. Your mother had an unpleasant pregnancy while carrying you, while her pregnancy with Hassani was rather calm, and somewhat relaxing. I do not say this to upset you nor is it a judgment call—it is simply a nod to the beautiful contrasts of your personalities already coming through at such an early age during fetal development.
Hassani’s personality is more subtle than yours. You are a raging bull that comes out of nowhere. No one expects you to do, say and act how you do. It is at times quite humorous. You are underestimated, and extremely powerful and dynamic, as well as divine. You were planned, just like your brother and your sister. Your mother and I created you in love, wishing to have another child. I specifically asked her for you. Hassani was only three years old, and I felt compelled to have another child. Your mother agreed to it, and now, here you are. You are a bit small, weight wise, for your age, but physically strong. I’ve seen you lift things that had no business being in your small arms, but you somehow managed and I’ve looked at you in amazement. You remind me somewhat of your uncle Jagger, and I know he sees it as well. You are also intellectually sharp. You are able to understand mathematical equations that are above and beyond your grade level and problem solve in a rapid and accurate way. Use that to your advantage.
I’ve seen you expand and grow, not just physically, but also personality wise, in ways that have astounded me. Once slightly reserved and with a shy disposition about you, some would say sneaky and I’d have to agree (You got that from your mother, not me)… Of course, I’m laughing again as I write that, but it is true. You are still sneaky, and not to give you a pass regarding that nerve-wrecking trait, but it comes with the territory of being a Deaf Mute, as well. Regardless, you now are very outgoing, gregarious, and one of the most charismatic children I’ve ever come into contact with.
You are also brutally honest as it pertains to your innermost thoughts. Initially, I believed this was indicative of your childhood development; however, I’ve come to realize that it is not. This is just who you are. Whether right, wrong, good or bad, you say what you mean and mean what you say, especially regarding topics that mean a great deal to you. My advice to you is that you try to remember to speak to people in a way in which you’d like to be addressed. Not everything is an attack against you, and sometimes people may tease, but in good nature. It is important that you not become overly defensive and give yourself a break from constantly sizing yourself up. We’ve all been guilty of it, but the fact of the matter is, I know my children very well. Dakarai, you are a very sensitive soul, and like Hassani, you try to hide it now that you believe you’re too old to show emotions.
He used to call you ‘Cry baby’ because you wore your feelings on your sleeve and he knew it got under your skin. As of late, he has stopped doing that as much, because he, too, realizes how composed and strong you now try to be. There’s nothing wrong with you, Dakarai. Be true to yourself. You love hard, son. In fits of irritation, annoyance or even heartbreak, you can at times be rather cruel with the tongue. It is the passion within you. It’s good that you are outspoken, and people know where you stand, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I believe you received that unfortunate ‘gift’ from me. Regardless, I want you to be mindful when it comes to relationships with women too, Dakarai.
I have a sense that you will take breakups very hard, but they happen to all of us, son. You may even jump from woman to woman, and that isn’t healthy. By the time you read this, you will have already been told my own story regarding this, and I hope and pray, in that regard at least, you do not follow in my footsteps. It is a lonely life that reaps no rewards, only distress.
One of my fears is that you will do as I did, and it will not only impair the women you are running back and forth between, but it will emotionally arrest and possibly destroy you. You may be looking for something you feel you need in these revolving door relationships—and you love girls, I can see it already. That is fine; there is nothing wrong with enjoyi
ng girls/women. I just want you to be mindful that women are people, and not to be used for your personal pleasure and then discarded. That young lady, the one you think is physically appealing and gets your heart racing, is a human being that you are dealing with, talking to, arguing with and making love to. I will not guilt you by saying you were raised better than that, but you and I both know, indeed you were if you have in fact fallen into this sort of behavior. You are very close to your mother, Dakarai—all of you are actually—but you clung to her especially tight and when she disapproves of something you’ve done, you take it especially hard.
Not to mention, how would you feel if someone disrespected Isis in that manner? You’d probably try to tear their face off because they’ve disparaged your sister. I feel in my heart, as well as psychically, that you will be sexually active younger, rather than later, especially in comparison to your siblings. You will be my one child that is more like me in that respect. Unlike many boys your age, who felt that girls have the proverbial cooties, it seems you came right out the womb loving women immediately. You’ve always gravitated towards women and girls in a romantic sort of way, and this has not decreased over time. In regards to early sexual experiences, I wish you would not, but I know wishing and reality don’t even live on the same block, sometimes the same state, in many cases. It takes a special level of maturity to be sexually active and responsible, as well as to understand the consequences and repercussions of having sexual intercourse with someone.
Be careful who you give your seed to, Dakarai. It is a very serious decision. I believe you will make an excellent father when the time comes, but you don’t want to be in a situation that you will later regret. Once you plant life inside of a woman, that is permanent. When you make love, you want the experience to be real, in every sense of the word, and if you can’t see that woman being the mother of your child, then don’t risk such a thing. Always use protection until you get married. Out of all of the mess I’ve done, that’s one rule I stuck by that served me well. There are a lot of things going on in this world, some of which we don’t understand, and fathering children you don’t want with women you don’t love, and putting yourself at risk for life-changing or life-threatening diseases is not the path you want to travel. I’m certain you may ignore my advice, but I can do you one better that will cover all of this, a bit of guidance that provides an umbrella over everything I’m trying to tell you—and that is, son: BE KIND. Please treat all people with love, Dakarai, until they warrant otherwise, and even when washing your hands of someone, do it with self-respect. I believe you wish to adhere to that, to the best of your ability, because like me, you also happen to be a pleaser.
It’s just who you are. One of the people you wish to please the most is Hassani. You look up to your big brother and I believe you always will. You see that he is strong and at times reflective. He sometimes may not even appreciate what he has, in your opinion. In some ways, you may be envious of his gifts, but you, yourself, are chock full of beauty in this realm as well.
You are a Deaf Mute, possessing one of the rarest and most powerful gifts bestowed to Angel Children. You can do what most of us cannot, and once you get a bit older, it will be fine-tuned and no one will be able to stop you. You are also rather perceptive and in tune with predicting a person’s next move and thought process. That is a valuable insight to have, son. I want you to never forget how special you are. Do not compare yourself to Hassani, or even Isis. You are your own person, your own man and you, too, are to impact the world, make it a better place.
I love you both with everything within me.
If you want to know what my greatest desire is, it is to see a beautiful dream of mine come true. And that dream was my wife and children happy, smiling and laughing. That’s what I want. That’s what I need.
Love,
Daddy
*
Chapter Forty-Three
“Boooooy, you must be tryna get a little something something!” Xenia gleamed as she took a gander at the elaborate spread on the dining room table. Saint made sure she noticed the aubergine and sterling trimmed table runner he’d had handmade just for her as he stood in the darkened doorway, partially blocking her entrance. The mood was set perfectly, only the flickering flames from the fireplace and the ambient blaze of the mulberry candles down the length of the long table illuminated the room.
“Maybe.” He cracked a smile and traced the side of her face with his fingertips. “I’m just trying to show my Queen a little appreciation.”
“The way to my heart is through my tummy.” She sighed. “…The food.” She peered over his shoulder, teetering on her tippy toes as she nosily took more of the scene in and clasped her hands together like a mouse begging for a slice of cheese. “I don’t know who you had to cook this, but oh my goodness it looks delectable and smells so wonderful!”
He grinned down at her and gathered her in his arms. “Hold on a second, now…”
The woman had been through an exhausting week, as had he. They were dealing with three fresh cases, one on backlog until further investigation. Not to mention, there was a conference on the horizon for the early spring. To add to the already jam-packed schedule, they’d had a preliminary investigation of their building for structure code violations. Luckily, none were found and business under the shroud of their credit union continued. On top of this, it had recently come to Saint’s attention that he had to meet with the other Angel Child Ambassadors in the next few months—orders from Egypt. He still choked over the fact that it was called a ‘Kingdom Conference.’
And due to those orders, and the urging of Krishna, Saint attempted to take a situation that needed resolution into his hands. Isis was presented paperwork in order to officially give Egypt reign over their own leadership. They were already doing so; however, everyone knew that the Princess of Life had to approve this and declare it with her signature…and Isis was she. The previous hierarchy had been toppled, and now, sanctions were under way. The girl was too young to understand such matters, or so he thought…
Saint picked her up one evening and carried her to her room for bed. He arranged her dolls just so, and explained how one of the dolls was in control of all of the other dolls, and did she think it was fair that that one doll should be boss?
Isis frowned, her bottom lip pouted out and shook her head vigorously, ‘No.’ When asked why, Isis said because Ms. Fancy Pants wasn’t wearing her tea hat. Saint dropped his head, realizing that this would be impossible. The three-year-old simply could not understand the dynamics of the situation. But then, Xenia stepped in, pushing him aside. She picked up Isis’ Cookie Monster doll, the one the little girl detested and said, “Isis, from now on out, Cookie Monster is in charge of your room. Whatever he says, goes.”
This caused the baby girl to burst out in tears and scream, ‘Noooo!’ in a shrill voice. Xenia quickly picked her up and kissed the top of her head. “That doesn’t seem right, now does it?”
Isis tears continued to roll as she nodded her head.
“So you see, that is what happened in a place far, far away from here. But this little doll right here…” Xenia bent down to grab a Barbie with wild hair from the girl’s pink and purple sparkly toy box, and said, “This doll can change all of that. She can tell Cookie Monster that neither he nor anyone else can tell others how to run their tea party. Isis, you are this Barbie doll.”
The little girl smiled and nodded. It was her favorite Barbie doll, after all.
“So, would you like to tell Cookie Monster ‘no’?”
Isis frowned and said, “Yes! I tell him ‘no’!” She pointed angrily at the Cookie Monster that now lay on the floor.
“That’s perfect. There is a piece of paper in Mommy and Daddy’s room, like the paper you draw on, baby. It has a bunch of words that mean just what I said—only they call Cookie Monster something else, and the Barbie doll another name, too. All you have to do is write your name on it, just like we’ve been practicing. That’
s how you tell Cookie Monster no, okay?”
Isis nodded in agreement.
“Now, do you understand Mommy?”
“Yes.”
“Say it back to me. Tell Mommy what I am asking you to do, baby.”
Saint smiled as he sat on the side of the little girl’s Doctor McStuffin’s daybed, observing with his leg crossed over his thigh.
“Mommy said Cookie Monster mean and try to boss my dollies around!” Isis said in a loud voice, her brows dipped. “I don’t want Cookie Monster to do dat, Mommy!”
“Okay.” Xenia laughed as she kissed the girl’s cheek.
They disappeared from the room at that moment and soon returned with the paper and an ink pen. She sat Isis down at her tiny pink and white frilly table on which sat an elaborate miniature golden tea seat sent to her from Beset. Saint watched in amazement as Xenia pointed to where Isis should sign her full name. Her last name, ‘Aknaten’, seemed to be a bit tricky for the young girl, but Xenia was careful to not hold her hand while she signed…and Saint decided to videotape this portion on his phone as a ‘just in case.’ When Isis was finished, Xenia gathered her in her arms and handed the signed paper to him, giving him a satisfied look that said, ‘And that’s how you get it done.’ Then, she exited the room, leaving him there, smelling sugar and spice, and everything nice…
And now, here he stood, stopping Xenia from entering their dining room while he lavished her earlobe with butterfly kisses and inhaled her sweet perfume. His cock twitched in anticipation of what was to come, but he controlled himself for he had other pressing matters to attend to first. He pulled a bit away from her, and looked into her eyes.
