David was dumbfounded. He might be aching for her, but there was no getting through to her tonight. It would take a much wiser person than he to understand her pain and confusion.
“Can I call you in a few days?”
“I’ll call you when the blueprints are ready. I can’t promise more than that.”
“Catherine—”
“I—I have to go in.”
AT EIGHT, David let himself inside his mother’s house. He knew she would be up to start preparing their Sunday lunch.
“Mother? Are you upstairs or down?”
“David? I’m in the kitchen! What on earth are you doing over here this early?”
He found her at the sink and slid his arms around her. “Because there are times in a man’s life when he needs his mother.”
She turned to look at her son. “Darling, what is it?” She lifted a gentle hand to brush the hair from his brow.
“Catherine won’t be coming to dinner. Could we sit down and talk? I need your perspective on this. Not only because you’re a wise woman, but because you were a twin. There’s no one I trust more than you to help me clarify things.”
She moved to the table in the bay window overlooking her flower garden. He followed, and they sat. She patted his hand. “I don’t recall your asking my help for anything since you were a boy.”
“I feel like the time when I was in second grade, and this girl—Libby Marshall—came up behind me in the hall and knocked me down hard. I figured she must have hated me. To add insult to injury, she ran away laughing. I didn’t dare tell anyone what had happened. But when I came home and talked to you about it, you said she did it because she liked me.”
His mother nodded. “I remember that moment as if it were yesterday.”
“Funny. I hadn’t thought of it in years—not until just now. I think that was my first experience in trying to understand the female mind. Your explanation saved me a lot of mental grief growing up.”
Her eyes filled with compassion. “What’s gone wrong between you and Catherine?”
“First, I need to give you some background. Then maybe you can advise me on how to proceed, because frankly, I’m terrified we won’t be getting back together.”
He told her everything. His mother didn’t stir until he’d finished describing his conversation with Catherine outside her condo.
“Twin sisters are complicated creatures,” she said. “There can be a lot of wonderful sharing—a closeness unlike any other. There can also be more competition and jealousy between twins than between other sisters or friends.
“As you know, your aunt Colleen could never have children. Whenever we got together in the past, she never failed to remind me that I was the lucky one in the family, so stop complaining about losing Michael.”
“Mother! I had no idea.”
“It isn’t something you talk about. Once I asked her why she didn’t adopt. She bit my head off. When she and your uncle Ed moved to Detroit, I think she was secretly glad. That way she didn’t have to be around me and you boys.
“I’ve missed her a lot, especially since your father died. The funny thing is, I know she misses me, too. We still talk on the phone every month or so because we have things to share that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else.
“But her envy of my life, of my ability to get pregnant, got in the way of any real closeness in our adult lives. The fact remains that she’s never forgiven me for something that wasn’t my fault. I daresay that if your aunt had been in love with your father, for instance, she would never have spoken to me again—because I married him.
“I know that’s hard for you to understand, darling, because you’re a man, and in my experience men usually get right down to the cold, hard facts.
“No doubt, it all seemed obvious to you. It’s Catherine you love.”
When he nodded, she went on. “You never made a commitment to Shannon. You never told her you loved her. The kiss didn’t mean anything. Shannon knows that. Catherine knows that. None of this was your fault. So what could be more simple? Right?
“Wrong! You were talking to a woman last night. The more you tried to reason with her the way you might reason with another man, the more you lost ground. You were forgetting about the emotion involved here.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I hear what you’re saying. So where do I go from here?”
“She said she needs time. You’re going to have to give it to her. She isn’t always going to be confused like this. And I can promise you she’s not going to fall out of love with you.
“But she’s got some huge issues facing her. She knows she has a twin and she’s terrified by that. Either she must ignore this knowledge completely, which at this point would be impossible, or she’s going to have to take that leap of faith and meet her.
“If I don’t miss my guess, she’s already dying of curiosity to know the woman you were attracted to first.”
“But what’s she really afraid of?”
“Well, let me tell you something my doctor told me after the twins were born. You wouldn’t remember but Colleen didn’t come to the hospital, and she didn’t want to see the babies after we brought them home.”
“You’re right. I don’t recall her being around.”
“I was very depressed because of it. He sat me down for a long talk about the fears of twin siblings.
“After what you’ve told me, if sounds like the neurotic part of Catherine is afraid. She’s saying to herself, ‘My twin is my other self, my other half. If David doesn’t like Shannon, then why would he like me?’”
David sat forward. “So what you’re saying is, she may hear me telling her I love her, but her fear is winning out.”
“Like Colleen, Catherine is reacting defensively. Depending on a variety of factors, it may take her a long time to come around, especially if she’s ever had a problem with trust.”
“She has. There was a guy she met in college, a graduate student who pretended to be in love with her and stole some of her designs. Today she’s a brilliant architect.”
His mother nodded. “That college experience probably left her with doubts about herself—about her attractiveness…and her judgment. Maybe she’ll see those inadequacies in her twin. Why would she want to come face-to-face with them? It would mean acknowledging them in herself.
“But there’s safety in her profession, in her family, so why get married? Colleen found safety by staying away from anything that reminded her of the pain she felt in not being able to have children.
“Carrying this further, I can see why Catherine has never wanted to know about her birth parents or her twin. The rational side of her knows she’s lucky to have been adopted by a wonderful family. But what if Shannon wasn’t so lucky? What if she was forced to lead a reprehensible life? Catherine doesn’t want to deal with the guilt she would feel.”
“In what way?”
“If she discovers that her life was better than Shannon’s, then she’ll feel guilty that, for some reason, she was given everything and Shannon was given less. It’s one of those ‘There but for the grace of God go I’ kind of things.”
“You mean it’s like the guilt Mitch felt for living when Michael died.”
“Yes. She hasn’t even met her twin yet, and already she’s suffering tremendous guilt that her twin lost out in love. It’s even more severe because the man who couldn’t return her twin’s love is in love with her.
“Catherine’s soul is at war. In order to do penance, her honorable side says she must give you up for a nobler cause.
“Her emotional side doesn’t want to believe that because she’s in love with you. But she’s afraid that if she gives in to her emotions, you’ll find the other parts of her you didn’t like in Shannon.
“I don’t know anything about Shannon, but I do know about Colleen. Apparently her fears were much greater than mine. Maybe Shannon’s are greater than Catherine’s, which might explain your attraction to her instead of Sh
annon.
“I’m just guessing, but Shannon may have been let down in her romantic entanglements. Without any family left, she’s reaching out to her twin for that human connection. This will play havoc with Catherine’s guilt, as well. She has parents and brothers, and the prince.”
“The prince?”
“Yes, darling. That’s you. In Colleen’s case, I was given children. The jewels in the crown of life. Colleen couldn’t handle it.”
David felt ill. He got up from the chair, raking a hand through his hair. “You can’t predict a good outcome for me, can you?”
“If I look back to the experience with Colleen, I would have to say no. But your situation is entirely different. Never underestimate the power of your love. As long as you have some understanding of Catherine’s fears, it should help you cope as events unfold.”
Cope.
After planning his wedding, he was now reduced to coping?
“Thanks for the talk, Mother.”
“Oh—” Her eyes looked pained. “I’m afraid I’ve made things worse.”
He shook his head. “No. You’ve explained a lot that didn’t make sense before. Now I’ve got to go. Rest assured that you’ve been more help than you know. I’ll talk to you soon.”
After stopping at his condo to shower and shave, David headed for church. He might have allowed Catherine to get her own way last night, but today he had no intention of giving up on their relationship. Certainly he had every right to attend the same services she did.
Once he’d turned into the crowded church parking lot, he looked for her MG, but it was nowhere to be found. Refusing to let that discourage him, he parked and got out of the car.
Halfway through the service, he saw her slip into the back, and his breath caught. The sheen of her silvery-blond hair seemed to have a glow all its own. She glanced around for a pew that wasn’t crowded. When their eyes locked, she seemed to pale before she ran out.
He hurried after her, ignoring the curious gazes of the people around him. He was too late. She took off down the street in her MG, leaving him staring after her—just like that first time at the speedway.
There was no point in trying to catch up. His mother had said Catherine needed time. After her haste to get away from him, he finally accepted it.
But by Wednesday of the following week, he was crazy with pain and couldn’t imagine living in this limbo much longer. Every time the phone rang, his heart slammed against his ribs in the hope that Catherine’s agony over their separation had driven her to call him.
So far she hadn’t tried to contact him. Four days without seeing her, without holding her. The idea of spending the coming weekend without her was too bleak to contemplate.
When he heard a tap on the door, his nerves were so on edge he jumped. Louise entered his office and closed the door behind her.
He couldn’t prevent a curse.
Shannon had to be in reception, otherwise Louise wouldn’t have that strange look on her face again.
“What’s her excuse for wanting to see me this time?” He knew he sounded abrupt, but he was feeling desperate.
“She’s come up with something new, Mr. Britton. I don’t understand how she thinks I wouldn’t remember her, but just now she introduced herself as Catherine Casey.” David almost fell out of his chair. “There really is something wrong with her, you know?”
He rose to his feet, trying to quell the frantic pounding of his heart. “Does she have a portfolio with her?”
Louise blinked. “No.”
The news made him euphoric.
“Tell her to come in.”
He was standing in the middle of his office when she walked in, wearing a tailored navy suit and white blouse he’d never seen before.
“Catherine—” He couldn’t say anything else, not another word. She was so damn beautiful it took his breath.
She wouldn’t meet his gaze. “Forgive me for barging in on you like this. I was afraid if—”
“If you had to talk to me first, you’d lose your nerve,” he finished for her.
“Yes.”
“I want to take you in my arms, darling.”
“Please don’t do that,” she said. Her voice shook. “I’ve come here to talk. If it’s not convenient, I can—”
“What the hell do you mean, not convenient?” He’d cut her off again. “I want you to interrupt me. I’ve been praying for it!” He moved past her to shut the door, then walked to his desk and told Louise to hold all his calls.
They stood facing each other like adversaries. She still refused to make eye contact with him.
“Please sit down!” she cried. “When you stand there like that, I can’t—” She sucked in her breath.
“I can’t do this.”
Summoning what little control he had left, he took his place behind the desk. Finally she lifted her eyes to his.
She was in as much pain as he was, but he couldn’t rejoice in the fact.
“I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching,” she began.
“So have I. My life means nothing without you,” he said hoarsely. “I’ll do anything it takes to get us back to where we were when I got home from my trip.”
“I don’t want that, David.”
His eyes closed in renewed pain.
“When you first returned, I still didn’t know the whole truth. Now that I do, nothing’s the same anymore. I won’t be able to think about our relationship until after I’ve met Shannon. It’s something I’d hoped wouldn’t come to pass, but circumstances have dictated otherwise. I’ve thought of a plan I think will work.”
“And what is that?”
“Because you were the person Shannon first approached, you should be the one to phone her. You could say that because she volunteered your name to Jack, he contacted you to set up a meeting.”
David’s anger was kindled. “I’m not afraid to tell Shannon the truth, Catherine. Especially not in front of you. In fact, I’m looking forward to it.”
“No!” she blurted. “That’s exactly what I don’t want you to do.”
“You mean you want her to go on believing I’m in love with someone other than you?”
“Yes! Promise me you won’t tell her.”
“I can’t do that. There’s been enough unwitting subterfuge. If you want me to call her and arrange a meeting, I’ll do that. But I’ll tell her the truth about us first.
“It’ll give her time to come to terms with the situation. Maybe then we can all begin to make sense out of this havoc and get on with our lives.”
She shook her head. “If your mind is made up about this, then I guess there’s nothing more to be said.” She jumped up from the chair.
David grasped her arm before she could reach the door. They were both out of breath.
“Why don’t you want her to know about us?”
Her bottom lip trembled. He had the strongest desire to kiss it still, but knew he couldn’t do that.
“Because it would hurt her.”
“Only superficially.”
“You’re wrong. I’ve put myself in her place, and I know.”
“You think delaying the truth will hurt her any less?”
“Maybe she’ll never have to learn the truth.”
He didn’t like where this conversation was headed. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t know exactly!” she cried. “Who can predict how any of this will turn out?”
“What’s there to predict? We love each other.”
Though his mother had talked to him about Catherine’s fears, the fright and bewilderment in her eyes was beginning to panic him.
“We have to do this my way or not at all, David.”
He knew she meant it.
Earlier he’d told her he would do whatever it took to get them back together.
He exhaled the breath he’d been holding. “All right. I’ll call her and set things up.”
“Since she has to drive from Tacoma, it should pr
obably be on a Saturday.”
“I’ll see what I can arrange.”
“When you know the date, call me.”
“I’ll come to your office and pick you up.”
“No—”
A tortured moan accompanied her protest. As long as he could still wring that kind of emotion from her, it meant she was vulnerable. He would use that knowledge to his advantage. Heaven knew, he needed all the help he could get.
Without conscious thought he tilted her face with his hands. She knew what was coming and started to cry out, but he lowered his mouth over hers, stifling any sound.
Caught unawares, she stopped fighting and began to respond with all the ardor he could have hoped for. The taste and feel of her overwhelmed him. The fragrance of her hair and skin acted like an aphrodisiac to his senses.
“Come home with me now,” he begged. “I love you. I want to be alone with you. Can’t you see how much we need each other?”
She tore her lips from his, then staggered backward. Her eyes were glazed. “I knew this would happen if I saw you again! I’ve got to get out of here.”
He felt he was losing his mind. “Why do you have to go? It doesn’t make any sense!”
“What I’m doing is wrong,” she whispered.
Before he’d had time to recover, she’d disappeared.
He moved to his desk and buzzed Louise.
“Yes, Mr. Britton?”
“I don’t have any more appointments this afternoon, do I?”
“No, sir.”
“Good. I’m leaving for the day. If you need me, just call me at home or on my cell phone.”
“Of course.” After a brief pause, she said, “I hope that woman won’t bother you anymore.”
“Louise, Catherine Casey can bother me whenever she wants. She’s the woman I’m going to marry.”
“That wasn’t Shannon White?”
“No. Shannon White is Catherine’s twin. It’s a complicated story. One day I’ll tell you about it.” But not yet. Because right now this was a story in search of an ending….
CHAPTER TEN
TWENTY MINUTES LATER, David entered his condo and went directly to his study. He pulled out the little pocketbook he normally carried with him. Shannon had given him two numbers. He tried her home number first. When she wasn’t there, he called her at work.
The Unknown Sister Page 14
