David said nothing.
“She didn’t barge in on me,” Catherine said after a while. “Even though I know there was so much more she wanted, she was careful not to rush me.” The tears began to flow. “She’s such a good person.”
Catherine leaned her head back suddenly, and a self-deprecating laugh escaped. “I was so worried about what she’d be like. What her life might be like. She’s so different than I’d imagined.
“I wish I had more of her qualities. Without my family for support, I’d be a total disaster. I know it.
“Dad had the money to build us a luxurious home, take us on exotic vacations, send me away to graduate school. Her father didn’t make enough money to allow them to adopt another baby.
“She had to hold down a part-time job and work hard to get through graduate school, and she had to make it on her own. She nursed her mother through a lingering illness.” Catherine turned to him. “Who helps Shannon when she’s feeling down? How does she handle being alone in the world?”
With both hands she wiped the moisture off her cheeks. “She’ll be a big hit with Jack’s friends. Shannon has a sweetness in her that I don’t have. I’m a willful, selfish, self-centered, spoiled woman who never had to work for anything in my life. It was all handed to me on a silver platter.
“Perfect parents, perfect brothers, a perfect home. Friends, acceptance. Exposure to the world. A wonderful career. The good life.
“Of the two of us, she’s definitely the better person.” Her voice trembled, and she shook her head.
“No wonder you were so attracted to her. She’s lovely and kind. There’s a naïveté about her that’s very endearing. Do you know she thinks you’re the most wonderful man she’s ever met?”
Still without saying anything, David started the car. Soon they’d reached the street and were on their way to her condo.
“When you walked in on us just now, she was telling me about her evening with you. She opened up to me so naturally, it was as if we’d been best friends all our lives. The only way I can describe it is what I’ve seen among some of my friends and their siblings. A sister-to-sister kind of thing.
“She wanted help figuring out why you never called her for another date. You should have seen the bewilderment in her eyes, heard the pain in her voice. She was so sure you’d liked her in the beginning. She hoped I could tell her what she’d done wrong to explain why you suddenly lost interest.
“The strange thing is, I don’t see anything about her not to like. But she’s been hurt, David. The last thing I want to do is hurt her anymore. I couldn’t bear to have that on my conscience.”
“So what are you saying?”
He pulled into the guest parking space of her condo and shut off the engine.
“I—I’m not going to tell her about us.”
A river of broken ice carved a deep channel through David’s heart. He knew where her conversation was leading. His mother’s insights had given him the knowledge to deal with moments like this. But the masochistic side of himself still had to hear the words.
“So where does that leave you and me?”
“There can’t be a you and me,” she said in a low voice. “I’m not going to see you again.”
“Just like that. It doesn’t matter about my feelings.” His anger flared suddenly.
“Our feelings don’t count here. You could have any woman you want, and we both know it.”
“I want you.”
“She wanted you first. If she can’t have you, I can’t have you, either.”
“Even if you’re in love with me?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then we all lose.”
“That’s what sacrifice is about. It’s past time I learned the meaning of the word.”
“This person you think is so wonderful—you don’t give her much credit, do you.”
“For what?”
“Do you honestly believe she’d be happy if she knew that in her quest to find her sister, she would end up causing us untold grief and pain?”
“If we stop seeing each other, it’s a moot point. In Shannon’s case, ignorance is bliss.”
“No, Catherine. There will be no bliss. Not for anyone involved. What you’re proposing is totally dishonest to her, to you and to me.
“The other day you used the word ‘wrong.’ The only wrong I see is not allowing her to use her brains and compassion to handle the truth.”
When Catherine turned to him, her face was drawn, her mouth taut. “Shannon’s my identical twin, not yours. She’s fragile. Believe me, if she had any idea I was the woman you loved, it would destroy her. And that would destroy me.” Her voice trailed off.
If Catherine discovers that her life was better than Shannon’s, then she’ll feel guilty….
“I can’t be your architect, David. There will be no charge for the work I’ve done. There wouldn’t have been a charge, anyway. As you know, it’s been a labor of love,” she whispered. “Just go ahead and throw away anything I’ve given you.”
“You mean like the ring, along with all the memories and our future dreams?”
“David—please don’t make this any harder than it is.”
He fought to control his rage over an impossible situation. “Have you considered I might be fragile, too? Did it ever occur to you that in ending our relationship, you could destroy my life?”
She wrung her hands. “I don’t believe that. You’re too strong a person.”
“How do you know what I am? Don’t let my being a man fool you, Catherine. You and I belong together. There won’t be another life for either of us!
“I realize you don’t want to hurt Shannon, so let me be the one to break the news to her. I’ll tell her you were willing to sacrifice our love in order not to hurt her, but I forced the issue.”
“No, David! Finding me should be a happy experience for her. Instead, she’ll feel betrayed by her own twin and wish she’d never begun her search.
“Don’t you see what will happen? She’ll quietly fade into the background rather than intrude. I can picture her going back to her lonely existence. She’ll be in so much pain—and who will she turn to?”
David had never felt so helpless in his life. “You’re internalizing all this, Catherine. You’re projecting what you imagine you’d be thinking if you were Shannon. But you aren’t the same person! She’s lived twenty-eight years without you. She has a life!”
“What life? She’s alone.”
David raked an unsteady hand through his hair.
“Only in your mind, Catherine. She has friends, colleagues…. How can I make you see this objectively?”
“There’s no way to be objective when it comes to damaging your twin sister!” she blurted, then broke down sobbing. When she’d recovered enough to talk, she said, “But I have the power to remedy that situation.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She’s been trying to get a job here in Portland. When you rejected her for a position at your clinic, she applied for a head nursing position at Sacred Heart Hospital. It’s hers for the taking, if she wants it. She did all this to be near me.”
No, Catherine. She did it to get close to me.
“If she decides to accept the position, then she’ll need a place to live. The next time I see her, I’m going to tell her she can move in with me. I’m the only family she’s got. She can sleep in my spare bedroom.”
“It’s really true, isn’t it?” he said dully. “Blood is thicker than water. I can see you’ve worked everything out and you don’t need me anymore.”
His mother had talked about his ability to cope. But it was no longer a question of coping. How did he cope when Catherine had left him with absolutely nothing?
He got out of the car to open the passenger door; fearful of touching her, he kept his distance. “For what it’s worth, I wish you and Shannon the joy of each other. Goodbye, Catherine.”
David had no idea what to do
next. But if he hesitated, it meant he hadn’t learned a thing and was willing to subject himself to more of the same punishment.
Running on adrenaline, he got in the car and turned out of the drive to merge with the traffic. He didn’t watch through the rearview mirror to see if she was still standing there.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
HE’S GONE, CATHERINE. He’s out of your life.
With a sense of unreality, Catherine entered her apartment. Her gaze darted to the dining room table, where she’d left some of the drawings for his new office complex. There were more drawings in the spare bedroom.
The roses he’d sent her stood in the vase, but their heads had started to droop. Several photos she’d taken of him with the camera she carried in her purse stared at her from the refrigerator.
Every shred of evidence would have to be thrown out before she could allow Shannon in the condo. Without wasting a second, she found a large plastic garbage bag and tossed everything inside. Even the photos in her wallet. In a state of frenzy, she hurried outside the building to dump the bag in the waste disposal bin.
On her return, she changed into jeans and a T-shirt, then began dismantling her drafting table. Within an hour, she’d set it up in the living room by the windows, where there would be plenty of light. In another hour, she’d removed everything from the spare bedroom, leaving it spotless for her sister.
While she sat on the couch sorting through the things she’d taken out of the other room, Jack and Melanie appeared at the door. Jack paused midstride to see her drafting table at the end of the room.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m getting the spare room ready for Shannon to move in.”
“I don’t recall her mentioning anything about that to us.”
“She doesn’t know. I’m going to call her tonight and invite her to live with me. If she’d like to start moving in tomorrow, I want to be ready.”
His brows met in a frown. “This is awfully sudden, isn’t it?”
“She’s been looking for me for a year, and I don’t want her to have to wait any longer. Do you know her plans? Was she going to drive back to Tacoma tonight, or is she staying in Portland until tomorrow?”
“As far as I know, she intended to head home first thing in the morning,” Melanie explained.
“Did she tell you the name of her hotel?”
“No, but David probably knows.”
She averted her eyes. “I can’t ask him.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s over between us. Over for good.”
“Just like that?”
A few hours ago, David had said those same words to her.
“I don’t want to talk about him. Not ever again.”
“Did you two have a fight?”
“No. He isn’t that kind of man. When I explained I couldn’t see him anymore because I couldn’t hurt my sister like that, he understood we have to make sacrifices. He helped me from the car, wished me and Shannon the joy of each other and left.”
“What about the complex you’re designing for him?”
“He’s going to find another architect. I’ve already got rid of everything so Shannon will never know of my connection to him. Tell me what happened when you went to the speedway with her.”
“Well, for one thing, we bumped into Mitch Britton while we were there. He thought Shannon was you.”
Her head jerked around in fear. “Did he give anything away about me and David?”
“Yes.”
Her body went rigid. “What exactly did he say?”
“Before I could introduce either of them, he hugged her hard and begged her to make it right with his brother because the man was going through hell.”
“Oh, no!”
“At that point I broke in and told him Shannon was your twin sister. I covered by saying that every guy at the track was in love with you. Mitch was so stunned, he played along. I don’t think anyone actually said his name.”
“Don’t worry,” Melanie reassured her. “Shannon laughed with the pit crew over the remark, and of course, Phil flirted outrageously with her. If she gave Mitch’s comment any more thought, it didn’t show.”
“I’d forgotten Mitch might be there,” Catherine said in a shaking voice.
“As you’re going to find out in the days ahead, it’ll be damn well impossible to hide all traces of your relationship with David from her, CC. You’d better come clean the next time you see her, before another slip occurs that can’t be fixed as easily.”
“There won’t be any more slips. David and I haven’t known each other that long. We’ve kept to ourselves. There’s no reason to believe anything else could happen.”
“Don’t be so sure. Shannon’s no dummy, CC. She’s as smart as you are.”
“Do you like her?”
They both nodded.
“I thought so. She likes you, too. When you told her you were taking her to the track, she didn’t hesitate.”
“David told me not to give her a choice. As I’ve been saying, he’s hurting like crazy, CC. He deserved some time alone with you.”
“Well, that’s all over now.”
“All the guy did was tell you the truth so there’d be no unpleasant surprises. I never dreamed his honesty would rebound like this. What you’re doing to him is cruel.”
Catherine swung around. “It’s a case of not being cruel to Shannon. I never thought I’d like her as much as I do. She needs protecting.”
“From what? She’s a strong woman, just like you!”
“There’s a vulnerability about her that makes me want to take her in my arms and tell her everything’s going to be all right.”
“How come you insist on seeing her as something she’s not? Her parents doted on her. After her mother died, she was left the family home and enough insurance to live comfortably. A group of her unmarried girlfriends travel together. She’s been to the Orient and South America with them. She’s worked in Alaska.
“I found out she’s a lot more experienced than you are when it comes to men. She’s been seriously involved with three guys, and lived with one for a year, hoping it would end in marriage. Eventually, he admitted he didn’t want children and she did, so they broke up.
“She’s a looker, just like you. Phil got her phone number already. He wants to take her out to dinner. There’s nothing about Shannon’s life to feel sorry for!”
“You don’t understand, Jack. Without her saying anything, I felt certain emotions coming from her. Hidden emotions. Maybe it’s the twin bond I’ve always heard about. All I know is, now that we’ve met, I can tell she needs me desperately.”
“No. David Britton is the person who wants and needs you desperately. I hope you wake up soon and realize it.” He put his arm around Melanie. “We’ve got to go. Take care.”
The second they went out the door, the phone began to ring. It might be a client. She would listen to the message, then go for a drive to clear her head.
“Hello, Catherine? It’s Shannon. I just had to call and tell you how much today meant to me. I’ll never be able to put it into words, but I’m so grateful you were kind enough to meet me when I knew you didn’t want to.
“When David called and said you were willing to see me, I knew in my heart you were a very kind person. Much kinder than I am. I’m awfully willful at times. If the shoe had been on the other foot and I’d been the one who didn’t want to be found, I might have let things go unresolved for a long time, maybe forever.
“Not you. You faced me. I have to admit I’m jealous. David said that twins have all kinds of hang-ups that might prevent us from getting together. The next time I talk to him, I’ll have to tell him that of the two of us, you’re definitely the better person.
“I envy you for having brothers. Jack and Melanie took perfect care of me today. I’ve got to think of a special way to thank them, and I’m counting on you for help in that department.
“Well, I know this is a lo
ng message. If by any chance you get home and want to call me tonight, I’m staying at the Brookshire Inn downtown, room fourteen eleven. Otherwise, if I don’t hear from you, I guess we’ll talk next week. I can’t wait. There’s so much I want to ask you, I hardly know where to start.
“Oh, and judging by the reception I got at the speedway today, it’s clear you have a host of male admirers. I’m thrilled my sister is held in such high regard by everyone. Since you seem to have a way with men, maybe you could share your tips with me. If it’s not too late, I’d like to salvage my relationship with David.
“Listen to me go on and on. I told you I was going to end this message, and I will. Just want you to know I love you already.” The answering machine clicked off.
“MS. CASEY?”
“Yes, Janine?” she answered a little too tersely. It was only nine o’clock on a Thursday morning. Already Catherine had another gigantic headache. She hated to admit it, but after living with Shannon for close to two weeks, headaches had become part of her daily burden.
In her heart of hearts, Catherine feared her headaches had started because she’d been trying without success to blot David from her consciousness. Every time Shannon brought his name into the conversation, Catherine told her she couldn’t help out when it came to advice about men. Then she changed the subject.
In an effort to make certain David never became a topic of discussion, Catherine thought up activities to keep them too busy for private chitchat. One way to do that was to drive to her parents’ home. They’d gone there every day after work and stayed until ten or later.
They’d spent the previous weekend there, too. The entire family had managed to convene. They made Shannon feel like one of them. Jack’s crew also helped entertain her while they worked on his car.
Shannon had enjoyed it all so much, she hadn’t been able to stop talking—about the Casey family, the house, each individual member of the crew, what various people had said to her…anything and everything. Catherine found she couldn’t wait to get to the office every morning in order to snatch some breathing space for herself.
The Unknown Sister Page 16
