by Allie Faye
I don’t want Kai Cooper to stop kissing me. Ever. But I am running out of air, and I need to breathe. Reluctantly, we pull back from one another. I am still trying to catch my breath when Kai says more to himself than to me, “Worth the hurt.”
“If this is what being hurt by you feels like, then…I love pain,” I whisper the first semi-coherent thought I have.
His lips are on mine again as we taste and explore each other. I am not sure how we moved from the closet to his bed, but Kai is lying beside me kissing me senseless. My fingers are raking through his shaggy hair, and his hand is fisting the hem of my shirt. My body is on fire. My nerves are flickering from high to low like a birthday candle about to be blown out. Kai is the only thing that can make me burn so bright other than music.
I am not sure how long we lay here just kissing, nothing else. My lips are swollen, and I am barely breathing as he consumes me. My chest aches with that tight squeeze again every time his lips leave mine. His breathy kisses are my oxygen right now as we both pant and moan, enjoying the sensations.
Kai moves his hand under my shirt and I freeze, unsure of whether I want to let things go any further. He said that he has secrets, but I already knew that. I wish he could trust me enough to let me in, but I have secrets of my own.
He senses my hesitation and rolls away from me. “So, I should probably get you home. My parents should be home by now.”
I glance at his alarm clock and it is well after midnight. “Wow, I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“You could stay here if you want. My mom and dad wouldn’t even know you are still here. My mom is off tomorrow, so her and Khloe sleep in. I can take you home early, so you can get ready for school.”
I think about his offer. It is tempting but dangerous. Staying here with him could lead to things I am not sure I want yet, but I am not sure I could tell my body no. “My mom is probably wondering where I am, as much as I want to say yes…Kai, I have to say no.”
Before he can argue, his mom is knocking on his bedroom door. “Kai, are you awake? Is Katie with you? Her mom is on the phone looking for her.”
“Pretend to be asleep,” he whispers in my ear as he rolls over me and out of the bed.
I roll to my side and hope my fake sleep breathing looks real.
Kai opens the door quietly. “Yeah, she must have fallen asleep while studying after Khloe went to bed. I meant to wake her, but I fell asleep.”
“Well, Kai, you know how I feel about girls sleeping over but it’s late and a school night. I don’t want you on the road this late. I’ll tell her mom you will bring her home before school. And you are to go straight to the guestroom and get to bed.”
“Sure thing.” I hear him tell her as he shuts the door. I can hear them saying something about my home life, but I can’t make out what they are saying. I hear I will take care of it come from his mom’s mouth, but I don’t know what she is taking care of.
Ten minutes later, the door opens and shuts again. Kai wraps his arm around me and whispers in my ear, sending sparks through my body, “Go to sleep, Kat.” As if I can sleep with him wrapped around me, with his scent surrounding me, but I do…I sleep so good.
Chapter 13
I am on cloud nine the next morning when Kai drops me off at my house. Good thing I have a key so I don’t have to knock and wake up my mother. Unlocking the door, I close it back softly, but my mom is already sitting on the couch waiting for me.
She starts in on me before I can even get a word out. “About time you came home. You aren’t staying home from school today just because you laid out all night with that boy. I’m not stupid, Katie. I know you are messing with that boy. Don’t be dumb Katie. He comes from money, and he will use you, and throw you out once he gets his way.”
“You don’t know anything about Kai, and I know not to go spreading my legs for just anyone unlike some people.”
“Katie, I am not the bad guy here. I know you like him. I just know how this ends. He will leave you and it will be a waste of your time to think otherwise. I have something I need to talk to you about besides that boy though. I have news. David is moving in with us.”
My face pales as she smiles at me. She doesn’t even know the dude and now he is living with us.
“Does he know what you do?”
“We’ve talked about it. He knows I am getting old. Beauty fades, Katie, and well, you are young and pretty. You’ll be eighteen soon and you can take my place.”
Please tell me I am dreaming…I pinch my arm until it bleeds. Okay that hurt. This is really happening. I have got to get out of here, but where in the hell will I go? Maybe I can stay next door with Mrs. Jennings until my birthday, because there is no way I can spend another night here with her after her saying that. I could offer to help take care of her when she comes home from the hospital, so my mom doesn’t think it’s odd, but then I just won’t come home, ever.
Is this what my mom has always planned for me?
I just want to scream, but instead I say nothing and go to my room, so I can get clean clothes for a shower. When I go to the bathroom, my mom has gone back to bed I suppose. I don’t see or hear her.
I get ready for school as usual and have my cereal. As I am putting my bowl in the sink, Kai knocks on the door but David beats me to answering.
“You the boy that kept Katie out all night?’ He asks, standing only in his underwear. I could die right here. I might actually already be dead. Am I in hell?
I shove past David quickly before Kai can speak. “Just ignore him, I plan to,” I say harshly, looking at David with contempt. I don’t know who in the hell he thinks he is, but he sure as hell isn’t coming in and taking over. No way buddy.
“Who was that?”
“No one. A friend of my mom’s.”
We get into the car and Kai takes my hand placing it in his lap. He smiles at me and it makes everything seem all right, even though I know it isn’t.
“That guy—my mom moved him in with us and she doesn’t even know him. It has been just the two of us since I was in grade school. I can’t stay there with them they just… I can’t.”
“My mom is planning on asking you this tomorrow night but the week after next is spring break and well, we are going to the beach and mom wants to take you with us to help with Khloe. You don’t need any money. She will pay for everything and pay you for helping with Khloe. Jake is coming with us too. Well, the whole band is going actually. We have a show booked. At least, if anything, it will get you away from there for a week.”
“That is amazing. I am happy for you, Kai, really. I would love to go I just don’t know how my mom would feel about it.” If I were already eighteen, I would go without asking.
“My mom will talk to her, it will be fine. My mom has a convention she is speaking at. It’s the only reason we are going. My band getting a gig was a bonus.”
“Okay, if my mom agrees, I’ll go.”
When I tell Kai that I have never been to the beach, he can’t believe it. They go every year for vacation. He starts making plans for all the stuff he wants to show me. It sounds so amazing. I have never been out of Muddy Waters other than field trips for school. I am really excited about the possibility.
Before we get out of the car at school, Kai leans into me and kisses my lips softly. I have to pull back from him to keep from being late or else I will stay here in this car all day kissing him.
At his locker, Kai kisses me again in front of everyone. I have to wonder, does this mean we are a thing now or are we just friends that kiss? I feel stupid asking him to be my boyfriend. Do I want him to be my boyfriend when I know we both have plans of leaving to chase our dreams? Is that what he meant when he said this would hurt us both?
~**~
At lunch, Raven is pouting because she wants to go to the beach with the band. Well, she wants to go with Jake, but I keep that thought to myself. Today Kai is sitting next to me instead of across from me. He is being sweet, holding my ha
nd.
“So, are you guys like a thing now?”
I don’t answer and shove a fork full of peaches in my mouth to avoid her question. I’d like to know the answer myself.
Kai speaks up answering for both of us. “Kat and I are what we are. We don’t need a label putting pressure on us.” Well that answers my question of him being my boyfriend.
Raven appears irritated with his response. Guess she was hoping he would say we are dating so she can proceed with Jake.
After school, Kai invites me to his band’s practice session. He doesn’t work tonight. I can’t wait to hear them play and to meet the rest of the band. Before we go to Jake’s place, he swings through the drive-thru at the Dairy Bar and treats me to a strawberry milkshake, plus he orders some hot dogs and fries for us to share.
I’m not that hungry but the fries smell too tempting to pass them up.
Since we kissed last night, I feel closer to Kai, and I am afraid that when the time comes I won’t want to let him go. I’ve never felt that way about anyone in my life. Funny how one kiss changes everything…
I feed Kai as he drives and he nearly takes off my finger, mistaking it for a fry, but he kisses it and makes it better. So sweet. God, his lips are incredible.
We are the first to get to Jake’s, so Kai asks me to help him with a song. He plays his guitar as I sing the lyrics for him.
I never knew there would be you
I never knew I could fall for you
There’s this light that shines
A light that guides me home
When I’m lost it guides me to you
Girl you love me like no other
Such a sweet thing
We go through the spots he is having trouble with a few times, and I find that we make a great team. Jake joins us, followed by a couple of other guys I vaguely remember from when I was a freshman. Kai introduces me to them. Hunter is tall and lanky with dark spiked hair, tats cover the sides of his neck, travelling down his arms. He has on skinny jeans and a snug fitting black t-shirt. He smiles widely at me and sticks his tongue out, flicking his tongue ring. I don’t know why but it makes me blush. Then there is Vance with his shaved but tattooed head. There is a dragon covering his scalp. He is dressed in cargo pants and a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf on the front. He instantly hugs me, which I find odd but comforting.
Raven comes strolling in a few minutes later, and apparently, she is their manager. I had no idea. She takes a seat beside me on the couch and pulls a laptop from her bag. Once she powers it on, she brings up a blog she made for the band. They actually have a small following. The guys go through their set while Raven gives them pointers, and I scroll through the comments and photos on their site. They have been playing at local fairs and festivals. They even have a YouTube channel.
Kai is staring at me and grinning proud as I watch him do his thing.
“Told you he has a thing for you,” Raven says, nudging my shoulder with hers.
“Do you want me with Kai, so he won’t mind your being with Jake?”
“I want Kai to be happy, and I want him to have a girlfriend, so he won’t mind the other guys dating. Kai thinks it will hurt their image if fans see them with girlfriends.”
Well that explains a lot. Maybe Kai is afraid I will hurt his career while he is trying to get it off the ground. He doesn’t need to worry about that though. I have dreams of my own.
“Are you going on tour with them this summer?”
“I haven’t decided yet. My parents will probably kill me, but I really want to go. The experience of traveling alone will be worth putting college off for a semester or two. What about you? What are your plans?”
“I don’t know. I want to go to New York maybe. I just want to go anywhere but here,” I tell her honestly.
“You should come with us. Kai could have you sing backup or you guys could do duets or something.” Raven is looking at me smirking as if a light bulb is flashing over her head.
“Not sure that is the best idea. Raven, that could lead to a world of trouble.” So much could go wrong in that situation.
“Trust me, Katie. I have a vision and it includes you by Kai’s side.”
“What makes you so sure Kai would even want that?”
“Because I know Kai, and I know what he wants before he does.” She jumps up from the couch and struts over to the guys smiling. “Kai, I want you to try something. I want you to sing Wicked Game with Katie.”
“Sure,” he says with a shrug as if it is nothing. It makes me nervous. We have goofed around in the car, but this song is so intimate.
The rest of the band takes it as their cue to take a break and grab a drink.
“Katie, get up here,” Raven demands.
Kai grabs me a stool. I take the seat next to him and he gets ready with his guitar.
“I’ll play, you sing and try not to pay attention to me cutting in. We may have to go through it a few times to get comfortable singing together. This song isn’t meant to be a duet, but I think it could be great.”
I nod and smile weakly at him, this could go two ways…it could be epic, or it could be a disaster.
Kai starts strumming, playing the melody softly with an underground vibe. I wait for my cue and sing the first line. Raven shoots me a thumb up and the guys all stop talking to listen to us.
Raven has us try another song, Talking in your Sleep, by The Civil Wars.
Once we are finished, Kai leans over and kisses my cheek.
Raven is bouncing. “Told you it would be great.”
“Damn man, you said she could sing, but she can sing,” Jakes says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, giving me a gentle squeeze. “You two sound like you’ve been singing together for years.”
Everyone starts talking at once, about how they—Cooper’s Religion—need to work me into a few of their songs as a special guest or something. I tell them I will think about it. I don’t want Kai to think I am trying to weasel my way into his group just to be close to him. I will only do it if I am a right fit and the band agrees as a whole that they want me.
Nothing is decided tonight, and Jake kicks us all out a few minutes later using having to work early as an excuse. I suspect he wants to spend time with Raven.
Chapter 14
In the car, I ask Kai if he is okay with Raven wanting to add me to the mix. He says he loves the idea, but I can sense some hesitancy in his tone.
“You sure? You can totally say no, and it won’t hurt my feelings, Kai. I know this band is your dream, and I don’t want to get in the way of that ever.”
“Kat, you scare me. You are dangerous for me, but I can’t stay away. You have the ability to steal my heart and break it.”
“I would never do anything to hurt you, Kai.” I grab his pinky and link it with mine. “I pinky swear that I will never break your heart, unless you break mine and, well, then if you do all bets are off.”
“Ditto,” he promises back. “What time to do you have to be home?”
I check the time on his dashboard and see that I have about an hour. “That depends, why are you asking?”
He turns down a dirt road not too far from Jake’s house. We drive down the dark road a few miles and come to a stop in a clearing. “Don’t worry, my grandparents own this land,” he tells me, answering my unspoken question.
He undoes his seatbelt then reaches over and unbuckles mine. “Come over here.” He reclines his seat back, and I climb over the console awkwardly, and straddle his lap. It isn’t the most comfortable position to be in considering the way his car is made but I don’t care. He pulls me closer to him. “Been wanting to kiss you all night.”
Once those words leave his mouth, our lips collide. This time there is no soft and waiting. Our kisses are heated and frantic. His hands are rubbing up and down my back, edging closer to my bra with every pass. I don’t want him to stop. I moan into his mouth with my fingers threaded through his hair. His thumbs tease at the dimples in my lower b
ack right above my butt. Kai grabs the lace trim of my panties and growls in my ear, “That’s so hot, Kat.”
I can feel just how hot he thinks it is pressing between my thighs and it feels good. I rock gently against him and he stops me. “Kat, you keep doing that and this is going to end quickly or go a lot further than I think we are ready to go.”
“Sorry, Kai. You just feel good.” I lay back against the steering wheel, giving him some space.
“Don’t ever be sorry for something that feels so right. I just think we should take this slow. I like you too much to rush this is all.”
I bite my lip, fighting the urge to tell him that I don’t care, but he loses it. I can feel his body tense. I am not sure what comes over me, but I want to feel what I am doing to him. I lean up, placing my lips to his and shove my hand down his pants. He is so hard because of me. I turn Kai Cooper on. I am screaming on the inside. On the outside though, I begin to rub and touch his length.
“Kat, if you don’t stop doing that…” before he can finish his statement, his warm and sticky essence coats my hand.
“Wow,” I say against his mouth, sucking his bottom lips between my teeth.
“See what you do to me, Kat. You make me crazy.” He is breathing hard with his forehead resting against mine. Our noses are touching as he comes down from his high. I climb back into my seat and Kai tells me there are baby wipes in the glove box. I give him an odd look but before I can say anything, he says that he keeps them for Khloe.
“Likely story,” I tell him with mock laughter.
After he drives me home, I have the hardest time going to bed. All I can think about is going to the beach with Kai and kissing him under the moon with sand between our toes. Cheesy, I know.
