“I’ll be sure she knows you came by, and I’ll say that you’d like to remain friends and you’re sorry, but I think it’d be best if you leave it at that. Please.”
He stepped onto the porch, and she closed the door. Verna had freed him, had made it clear Sadie would be fine. Her reasoning deserved his respect. He should do as she asked and not try to reach Sadie.
So if he was free, why did he hurt worse now than before?
He drove his rig toward home. Dozens of emotions gnawed at him. It didn’t matter what had taken place between Daniel and Sadie, did it? The problem was him.
His inability to let himself really care, to trust his heart to someone other than himself.
Still …
Levi’s back teeth clenched. What had happened with Sadie and Daniel? He wanted to know the truth. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Daniel.
“Levi, where are you? I’m at your place, arguing with Andy about taking a horse. You know how he gets.”
When Levi topped the hill near his home, he spotted the horse trailer. He hung up and drove onto his driveway.
Andy had Lightning, a white filly, by the harness, standing at the back of the open trailer. He and Daniel had talked about this. No horse would be sold until Levi said it was ready.
Levi got out of his rig and strode toward the trailer. Tip sat in the truck as usual.
Daniel spat a wad of gum onto the ground. “We’ve got a buyer willing to pay top price for this filly so she can be a Christmas present.”
“She’s not ready.”
“Well, she may not be perfectly trained, but you’ve been working with her.”
“She goes nowhere.” Levi turned to Andy. “Take her back to the barn.”
Andy patted Lightning and hurried the animal toward the barn.
“Why?” Daniel’s voice echoed off the barn. “Buyers know the risks of owning an animal like this. Our goal has always been to make the horses reasonably obedient and move on to the next sale.”
Levi could hardly absorb seeing Daniel in this light. He was wound tighter than Levi had ever seen him. Maybe it bothered him that Sadie had learned to care for someone else. But did his business partner realize he’d just lied? Their goal was never as Daniel just said. But everyone tends to get rather gray about things as time passes.
“Our agreement was never casual or careless when it came to selling horses. And I’ve made my sentiments about training them clear.”
Daniel sighed. “Okay.” He put up both hands. “I didn’t come here for a fight. I assumed you’d be ready to let her go and make some good money. What about Amigo? Any chance he’s ready? I’m sure you’ve done your magic by now. He’s bound to be as rehabilitated as he’ll ever get.”
“None of the horses are ready. You took the last of the trained ones just four days ago.”
“Well, sometimes you get a lot done in a few days. I bet you got one that’ll work to fill this order.”
That was nothing but flattery. Levi couldn’t get to know any horse well within a few days, even if the horse already had some training. Levi needed repeat performances to ensure a behavior was ingrained.
“You’re just a smooth talker, aren’t you, Daniel?”
Daniel kicked at the gravel, moving his foot back and forth while clearing a spot. “This argument isn’t about the filly or Amigo, is it? It’s about Sadie, right? You came here ready to fight.”
Daniel had some good points. Levi had climbed out of his rig thinking about Sadie and suspecting Daniel. But Daniel’s earlier use of the word rehabilitate had caught Levi’s attention. They didn’t refer to horses in that manner unless something had happened to the animal that it needed to recover from—mistreatment, an accident, illness.
Levi’s mind churned, burning through dozens of past conversations. Andy returned, and Levi looked to him. “Daniel just said something about Amigo needing to be rehabilitated. Do you recall anything about that in any discussion or seeing it in the paperwork when he unloaded Amigo here last spring?”
“No. I’d have remembered if it’d been said or listed anywhere.”
Levi didn’t doubt that Andy would’ve paid heed to it. His brother pored over the information that came in, often calling previous owners and taking careful notes on each horse. He shared that information with Levi at great length before Levi began working with them.
“Oh, come on!” Daniel’s face turned red. “There is no way I’d do anything on purpose that would get you hurt. You’ve got to know that much. We’re friends. Besides, what would be the point? I need you to be whole if I’m going to make the kind of money we do when working as a team.”
“So you messed up and didn’t provide that information to me. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Ya, absolutely. It was a mistake. I don’t know how I could forget that Amigo had been traumatized by some boys playing with firecrackers. He got tangled up in some wire fencing running away from them. You needed to know that. But I didn’t recall it until after you were hurt. What good would it have done after you were injured to tell you I had messed up?”
Levi stared at him. He believed Daniel’s account of overlooking crucial information where Amigo was concerned. But he was beginning to realize that this man was very good at covering up his mistakes.
In that moment Levi saw the truth. He didn’t know why, but he could clearly see that Sadie had good cause to call off the wedding, just as she’d had good cause to go riding the night she’d found Levi in that field: God had directed her steps.
That revelation, however, brought him no relief or peace. Daniel had lied to him—more than once. And Levi had swallowed it. And Sadie had been hurt.
Levi had given up his chance with her because he’d believed a lie, not just the one Daniel told, but the one he’d told himself: that he had insight into how much of a gamble it was to get involved with a woman. But that wasn’t insight. That was fear, and he’d chosen to believe it because he’d thought it would keep him safe and far away from a deceitful heart. And yet here he stood.
Daniel shoved his hands into his coat pockets, his shoulders stooped. “I’m sorry, Levi. You’ve got to believe me. It was a stupid mistake not to tell you about Amigo. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”
“I believe you. It’s not like you to do something deceitful on purpose, any more than it was when you cheated on Sadie. Right?”
“Sadie?” Daniel rolled his eyes. “Is every conversation from here on going to circle back to her?”
“I’m in love with her. Can you understand that?”
“Far more than you’ll ever give me credit for.” Daniel sighed. “Okay.”
Daniel’s last word seemed to lodge in his throat, and an unfamiliar expression eased across his face. Was he going to be honest?
“I’m not like you, Levi. Never was. I’ve spent most of my life being so restless I can’t stand myself. I’ve given into temptation more times than I’m willing to admit. But when I got to know Sadie, I knew she was my best chance of finding peace and happiness. I’d hoped to be a good husband. But her cousin was so beautiful. And we were both smitten. I wanted to resist. I just … couldn’t.”
“You’ve lied about what happened since the day she caught you. When I told you I loved her, you lied to me. That’s very deliberate.”
“I had to lie. If the church leaders had known what happened, I would’ve been shunned. My family would’ve …”
“What, seen you for who you are?”
“I was so angry that she wouldn’t give me another chance. But I never meant for any of this to happen. I’ll make it up to you … and Sadie.”
“No. We’re done.” He gestured toward the truck. “Just go.”
“But we make great money with our horse-trading. We need to work through this. I told you the truth. That’s gotta count for something.”
Levi stepped forward, his hands balling into fists. “You and I are done. I’m not doing any more business wit
h you, and if you think that’s unfair,”—he met Daniel’s stunned gaze—“feel free to take it up with God. He knows exactly how to handle someone who isn’t just.”
An icy wind rattled the windows and howled as Sadie set the dinner table. Each move she made inside her childhood homestead was as familiar as a Pennsylvania winter and yet as foreign as if she’d never lived here. A fire crackled in the hearth.
She’d come home. She’d yielded to her Daed’s authority, and he’d embraced her with tears flowing. He didn’t want her to leave the country again, and she’d called the head of the mission team and told him she wouldn’t be going. The mission director understood that these things happen, and they had a young man who wanted to go. He could take her place, but he lacked the necessary funds. She became his sponsor and sent all her money to the board. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d done as she thought God wanted—and she had peace.
Still, her heart ached, and she missed things about Levi she hadn’t been consciously aware of, like the steady calmness of his movements as he worked with a piece of wood or his quiet tone when they talked. He had a zeal for life, and even his cynicism drew her in, as he never used it meanly. How many times had she startled awake because she saw him in her dreams, saw his smile from across the room when they went to singings, felt his sorrow, heard him calling to her?
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and she kept telling herself that the ache would pass after the holidays.
If only she could believe that.
The back door opened, and a rush of cold air came in with her father. “Sadie?”
“I’m right here.”
He glanced at the kitchen table. “Yes, you are.” He pulled off his coat. “I just got off the phone with Mammi Lee. I think we should talk.”
Emotions flooded through her, and tears pricked her eyes. “Is it about Levi?”
“It is.” He went to his chair beside the fireplace. Sadie went to the ladder back that faced the hearth. Her mother sat in the love seat across from her husband. Daed smiled, but his eyes looked sad. “It’s not the first time since you arrived home last week that I’ve spoken with her. We thought it best not to be hasty. Levi came to her place more than a week ago, looking for you, and Mammi Lee asked him not to contact you.”
Sadie waited, hardly able to keep her poise.
“A few days after Levi’s visit, his brother came to see her. He didn’t want to interfere, but he wanted her to know something that’d happened—in case she wanted to share it with you.”
“Daed!” Sadie reached over and swatted his knee. “You’re dragging this out too long. Tell me.”
“It didn’t take your Levi very long to come to his senses. He broke off all ties with Daniel.”
Her heart jolted, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about that piece of news. Did it mean Levi finally saw Daniel’s true character and would no longer associate with him, or was it something more? Did he care for her so much that he had to do something drastic to heal some of the rift between them? “Why?”
“Well, I have it on good authority that he’s a fine man who’s reluctantly fallen in love with my daughter.”
Her heart soared. Was it possible? She prayed it was.
The flames in the fireplace swooshed as a log shifted. And a memory caught her. Years ago she had sat in this same spot, broken beyond words and staring at a cold hearth.
A smile rose from within, and she looked at her mother. “Can we spend Christmas in Apple Ridge?”
Daed rocked back in his chair. “I see no reason why not, as long as we can find a driver on such short notice.”
Mamm stood. “I’ve spent many a year doing favors for Englisch friends—baby-sitting, catering meals, and such. I know people who’ll want to help. Maybe one of them will be able to do so, even on Christmas Eve.”
Energy surged through Beth’s body as she basted a ham. With so much time lately to devote to everyday chores—washing clothes and hanging them out, sewing new outfits for herself and Jonah and the baby, quilting, baking, making Christmas cards—she’d thought she had liveliness to spare. Today a stronger wave of desire to cook and clean and organize flooded her.
Of course, her good-natured husband remained by her side, making sure she didn’t overdo anything. Jonah mashed the sweet potatoes, shoving the utensil into the pot of orange pulp again and again. “This seems like a lot of food for two people.”
“Look at the upside. We won’t need to cook for days.”
“I sort of thought the idea of a quiet celebration was for you to stay off your feet.”
“And I will. As soon as we celebrate today with a feast.”
Suddenly a wave of Braxton Hicks hit her as she pushed the rack into the oven. Her lower back stung, and her thighs ached as the contraction grew stronger.
“Well, whatever we do, it’ll be easier and safer than going out in this weather tonight. I certainly don’t want you doing all it’d take to have that monstrous crowd known as your family coming here for their festivities.” Jonah knocked the potato masher against the rim of the pan. “Smooth enough?”
Beth evened her breathing, surprised by the force of the contraction. “Ya … it looks good to me.”
But rather than fading like usual, the contraction grew stronger. She clutched the counter, waiting for it to subside. The midwife had said she’d already dilated to a three but that women often stayed that way until their due date. Right now, Beth didn’t know what to think.
“Sweetheart?” Jonah moved to her side.
“If that was a Braxton Hicks, it carried some real force.”
“When was the last one?”
“Ten minutes ago. Until an hour ago I hadn’t had any in days.” Beth fumbled with her apron, trying to reach inside the hidden pocket. It was time to use the cell phone her midwife gave her. “I think I’ll give Mandy a call to see what she thinks.”
She planned to sound calm, but the idea of going into labor four weeks early made her feel sick, and she prayed for God’s protection over her child.
Snow fell harder and harder as Levi ushered the last employees out the door at Hertzlers’. It was time they all went home. There was no sense in letting snow accumulate and risk someone’s having a difficult time getting home on Christmas Eve. He could handle the rest of today by himself, even if customers might have to wait until he could get to them.
Mattie was still here, however. She had customers picking up Christmas cakes, and Levi couldn’t run the register, fetch layaways, and run the counter for Mattie Cakes.
The next few hours at the store weren’t too busy, and as the snow deepened, people stopped coming in.
He stepped onto the porch and watched the white flakes silently fall from the black sky. The air smelled of Christmas, and everyone he’d come into contact with lately seemed to be in a festive mood, especially Tobias. But it didn’t feel like a joyous holiday to Levi. What was Sadie doing today? Did she miss him? Would she miss him when she was in Peru?
As hard as he’d tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. But he’d finally accepted the truth: it was his lot from now on to miss her. He went back into the store.
With the store empty, he went to the Mattie Cakes nook to see what was happening in her little area of the store. Mattie sat at a small table, talking to her husband.
Levi smiled. “Hey, Gideon. I didn’t see you come in.”
Gideon stood and said, “Merry Christmas, Levi.”
“Denki. Same to you.”
Gideon took a seat. “We’re waiting on one more customer to pick up a cake, and then I’m taking Mattie home, where she can open the birthday presents her family has been dropping off throughout the day.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot. Happy birthday, Mattie.”
“Denki, Levi.”
“Gideon, take her and get out. When that customer shows up, I’ll be here.”
Gideon leaned in and kissed his wife. “What do you say, Mattie Lane? May I take you home?”
/> “Absolutely. We’ve got some singing to do along the way.”
Gideon laughed. “We married folks can’t go to any more Christmas singings. We need to have a private session, and it just happens to be the perfect weather for a sleigh ride.”
Mattie grinned. “We’re borrowing Beth and Jonah’s sleigh?”
Gideon helped her get on her coat. “I worked it out with him before coming in today. Beth and Jonah send their birthday and Christmas wishes too.”
Mattie kissed his cheek. “This sleigh ride isn’t all you have planned, is it?”
“I’m not telling—not yet.” Gideon winked at Levi.
Mattie put on her black winter bonnet. “The cake should’ve been picked up an hour ago. If June Smith doesn’t arrive in another hour, she isn’t coming.”
“Okay.”
Mattie waved at him as she left. “Merry Christmas, Levi.”
“Merry Christmas.” He closed the door behind them. The ticking of the clocks that lined the walls echoed through the quiet store.
He grabbed a push broom and began going down the aisles. He straightened shelves and returned items from the register area to their spot. No one else came in, and he finally put the Closed sign in the window.
“Welcome to your future, Levi,” he mumbled. He’d wanted to live out his days as a bachelor, and he’d managed to give himself exactly that. What a great gift idea. You should be proud.
Before Sadie, he hadn’t felt lonely, let alone miserable. What had she done to him—stretched his tiny heart until it could hold the vastness of his love for her? Now he had a huge heart and nothing to fill it.
He went through the store turning off the gas lamps. Since he’d ridden here bareback, he’d take the cake the customer never picked up to Beth and Jonah, wish them a Merry Christmas, and head home.
He emptied the register and took the cash to the safe in Beth’s office. The bells on the door rang, and he went in that direction. It had to be Jonah.
Standing just inside the doorway, he saw the shadowy figure of an Amish woman in a winter coat and hat.
“You’re just in time, Mrs. Smith. The cake is right over here.”
Christmas in Apple Ridge Page 40
