“So, you’ve upgraded,” he teased. A hesitant smile came to her eyes as she regarded him.
“You’re too good for me, Talon.”
His heart squeezed with pain. He scowled. “Why do you say that?”
Cat shook her head and stopped eating. “Sometimes, Talon, I think you’re a dream come true for me. I’ve been floundering for years trying to understand and straighten myself out. I guess, to be honest, I felt like I wasn’t worthy of much. I’m so screwed up inside. I couldn’t see how any man would want me.” The words were out and she saw Talon’s eyes grow dark and focused on her. “You’re very different from the other men I chose.” Her voice dropped. “That’s why I think you’re a dream….” And like a dream, she was afraid he’d disappear from her life.
There was such shyness in her face, in her voice, as if she were revealing a precious secret and uncertain about admitting something so deeply personal to him. He nodded, moved powerfully by her trust. And it was trust. She’d just handed him a great gift.
He held her gaze, his voice suddenly emotional. “Well, you’re my dream come true, too….”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CAT’S SCREAMS JOLTED Talon out of sleep. He woke up instantly, adrenaline pouring through his bloodstream as he threw off the covers and headed down the hall toward her room. Moonlight drifted around the edges of the front window. He had excellent night vision and as he reached Cat’s opened bedroom door, he heard her sob. The sound ripped at his heart.
He pushed open the door. “Cat? What’s wrong?”
She was sitting on the edge of the bed, the covers rumpled, half of them on the floor. She’d had a nightmare. Mouth tightening, he saw her head bent, hands covering her face, sobbing, her shoulders shaking. Damn.
He wore only a pair of boxer shorts. Crouching in front of her, unsure if she was still wrapped up in the nightmare, he called out softly, “Cat? Hey? Look at me. Are you okay?”
Talon wanted to reach out, touch her arm, but he knew what it was like to be caught up in a nightmare. It could scare her even more, deepen the trauma she was already experiencing, if he touched her unexpectedly.
“Cat?” he called more firmly. Barely able to stand her softened sobs, she was bent forward, as if to shield or protect herself.
Cat heard Talon’s low, quiet voice break through the terror of her nightmare. She lifted her wet hands to find him crouched in front of her, his face deeply shadowed and worried. It was his stormy gray eyes that told her he cared. Sitting up, she pushed her hair away from her face.
“Oh, God, I’m sorry I woke you,” she rasped, feeling guilt.
Talon rose and smiled a little. He sat down next to her and slid his arm around her shoulders. “I’m glad you did,” he told her roughly, a lot of emotions on the surface. “Come here, let me hold you for a bit.”
To his surprise, Cat turned and pressed her face against his shoulder and neck, her hand covering her face. She was warm and he bit back a groan as she entrusted herself to him. He could feel her trembling and understood the depth of the nightmare’s hold on her. Sliding his other arm around her waist, he held her gently, his body going into overdrive with need for her.
“Talk to me,” Talon urged, resting his cheek against her hair.
With a shaking hand, Cat tried to wipe the tears away from her cheek. Talon felt incredibly warm, hard and powerful. She inhaled the male scent that was mixed with his evergreen soap. Her voice broke. “I— Oh, God, I just relived Magee attacking me in the parking lot.”
Sliding his fingers through the tangled mass of her hair, slowly smoothing it out into strands, massaging her scalp, he said, “I thought so. It’s going to be okay, babe. You’re safe. Safe…”
His voice was like balm across her scattered, terrorized emotions. Her heart pounded wildly, her breath ragged and uneven. Cat felt her nipples harden against his chest wall. His fingers eased the tension in her scalp, tiny prickles of pleasure and fire sheeting down across her head, into her neck and flowing directly to her breasts. She placed her hand on his chest, the hair soft, feeling the slow thud of his heart beneath her palm. It soothed her. Talon’s flesh tensed, the muscles leaping where her hand rested.
“I feel so stupid. I’m sorry I woke you up,” she whispered, wanting the sense of protection he was affording her. Talon squeezed her reassuringly.
“You’re not stupid, Cat. I get nightmares, too. And I wake up screaming. I’m always afraid I’ll wake up everyone else in the house when it happens.” He inhaled her sweet, spicy scent, aching to kiss her. Talon knew he could make Cat forget the nightmare and move into a world of scalding pleasure with him. He eased his hand down to her neck, gently massaging the tension. Feeling her relax more, sinking into him, allowing him to hold her weight, he smiled to himself. He skimmed his fingers down across her nightgown, and feeling how damp it was with sweat, his heart contracted. Yeah, she was having a wicked nightmare. Talon continued to stroke his hand lightly up and down her arm to soothe the remnants of the terror away from her. With each stroke, she sagged a little more trustingly into his embrace. He felt her moist breath across her neck and upper chest, felt her nuzzle her face more surely against him.
“Okay,” she managed hoarsely, “now I don’t feel so bad….” She sniffed, continuing to wipe the tears that still fell. Why couldn’t she stop crying? Was it because Talon was holding her? A safe harbor in the storm of her life? It felt so good to be held like this. The aphrodisiac of his male scent entered her flaring nostrils, an unguent against the terror. With each intake of breath, a little more of the paralyzing fear dissolved. Cat almost moaned as his hand moved gently down her arm. Unconsciously, her fingers tangled in the soft hair of his chest. She could feel the powerful pulse in his neck beneath her cheek. Talon was so male, but for once, Cat wasn’t afraid of it. Or him. She wanted his touch. Wanted to languish in his arms, needing whatever invisible care he was giving to her right now.
Talon felt his erection hardening to the point of pain. With her hip against his, Cat wasn’t aware of his condition, thank God. It was the last thing he wanted her to discover right now. She sank fully against him and he felt her surrender to him for the first time. He sat there in the darkness, the muted moonlight giving the room just enough grayness so that he could see.
Her hair tickled his jaw. The moisture of her breath inflamed him. He wanted to kiss her. Did he dare? Would Cat see his action as taking advantage of her in this situation? The questions spun through Talon’s mind. And yet, he felt her slowly beginning to explore his chest, her fingers sliding and making his skin scream for more contact. Was Cat doing this on purpose? Talon honestly didn’t know and wasn’t willing to assume a damn thing.
Finally, he felt her surrender to him. There was no more sniffing, no more of her wiping the tears from her face. Just…silence. And Cat in his arms. Talon knew he was the one responsible here for whatever actions he initiated. Was Cat ready to be loved by him? Was that what she wanted? If he hauled her onto the bed beside him, how would she react? Cat was different. And he felt differently toward her. He cared and he wanted her to voluntarily want the same things he wanted.
Easing Cat out of his arms, he placed his finger beneath her chin and gazed into her shadowed, moist eyes. “What do you want right now, Cat?”
She gulped over the burning desire in Talon’s eyes. Felt the sensuality binding them silently. Talon wanted to kiss her. Her lower lip trembled as an unknown emotion washed over his face. “I want to kiss you,” she managed. Feeling unsure, she watched as Talon’s mouth curved faintly, his eyes narrowing upon hers.
“I want the same thing,” he rasped, framing her face with his hands, leaning down, his mouth barely an inch from hers. “Cat,” he whispered, his low voice uneven, “I not only want to kiss you, I want to love you. You’re in charge here and I need to know how far you want me to go.” Talon searched her upturned eyes, torn by the tears still glimmering in them. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Cat had be
en hurt enough by men.
Talon’s mouth was so close to hers. She could feel the hot moisture of his breath. “I—I don’t know….” she choked. Shame wound through her. She didn’t see what he saw in her. She didn’t consider herself pretty. Worse, she worried what he’d discover about her body.
“Let’s start with a kiss? See where it leads? All you have to do is tell me to stop, Cat, and I will.” Talon searched her unsure gaze. He was on thin ice with Cat and it could break at any second. She seemed to wrestle with herself. “Tell me what you’re feeling, Cat.”
She shrugged, feeling unworthy of this man who was so incredibly masculine, ruggedly handsome and wanting her. “I just don’t think I’m good enough for you,” she admitted hoarsely.
Talon gave her a very male smile. “In my book, you’re a ten.”
“I like being a ten in your eyes.”
He smoothed strands of hair away from her cheek.
She could feel Talon waiting, felt the throbbing power around him, felt his need of her. Yet, it was contained. No man had waited for her before. No man had ever told her she was in control. He was so different from her experience that it rendered her more uncertain. When she stared at his mouth, her body went from zero to a hundred in a split second. She remembered Talon’s mouth on hers. She felt dampness collecting swiftly between her thighs. Tired of her indecision because it was based upon fear, Cat leaned that inch and pressed her mouth barely against his.
Talon felt heat sizzle through him as she initiated the shy kiss. Her lips barely grazed his mouth. He nudged his mouth against her upper lip, silently asking for entrance. And she willingly complied. His erection hardened and he drew in a deep breath, forcing the discomfort out of his mind, focusing on how soft and chaste her opening lips felt against his. Her breath was sweet and Talon angled her just enough to ask her lips to blossom fully beneath his urging. She moaned softly as he fully took her, deepening their connection, their contact with one another. He nearly lost it then, her trust implicit with him. Using his tongue, he slowly moved it from one delicious corner of her mouth to the other. Instantly, he felt Cat stiffen but the sexy sound in her throat told him everything he needed to know. She liked it. Emboldened, Talon moved his tongue gently against hers, inviting her to respond, to play with him. Her breath became ragged. Cat gripped his shoulders as their tongues wove into a sliding, sensuous dance with one another. She pressed herself against him, wanting, needing more contact with him. It was her fingers digging frantically into his bunched shoulders that told Talon she was fully committed.
Talon broke the kiss and watched her eyes barely open. He saw lust in them and smiled. “I want you on the bed, beside me.”
His strength was surprising as he eased her onto her back and lay down beside her. The nightgown had hitched up above her knees. Talon moved his hand slowly upward across her covered thigh.
“Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful and strong you are?” Talon whispered against her lips. His hand stilled midway up her thigh. Her hair was like a black halo about her head, emphasizing her large blue eyes. Eyes that burned with arousal.
Talon leaned down, taking her mouth gently. He wanted her badly, but she was still shaken from the nightmare and he needed to approach her slowly. Tenderly. Her eyes shuttered closed, her hands wrapping around his shoulders as he glided his mouth against hers. Slipping his hand across her hip, he angled her onto her left side and drew her up against him. The gown was cut low in the back. As his fingers grazed her naked back, he stopped. What the hell was he feeling? Moving his fingers lightly, he felt ridges. Scars?
Cat froze.
Easing his mouth from hers, Talon raised his head and saw the fear in her expression.
“What are these?” he asked, gently moving his fingers across her back. There were scars maybe an inch to two inches long at least in five different places across her flesh. He saw the shame. Had her father done this to her? Jesus. Leaning down, he kissed her, trying to take away the pain. At first, Cat didn’t respond, but Talon moved his mouth persuasively, focusing her on the natural heat that automatically seethed between them. And only then did he lessen his kiss, keeping his hand splayed out across her back.
Cat felt a lump in her throat as she lost herself in the heat and strength of Talon’s mouth against her own. His eyes were questioning as his hand moved tenderly across her back, touching the scars from so long ago. He deserved to know.
“My father would beat me with a belt when I was a kid,” she whispered raggedly, watching his reaction. She tried to prepare herself for him to be disgusted, as her two other lovers had been. His hand remained firmly on her back, a protective gesture that dissolved her shame.
“Can you turn over for me?” he urged her quietly.
Confused by his request, she allowed him to place her on her stomach. And then Cat felt him kiss every scar that had been inflicted upon her back. He would trace each one with the pad of his finger, kiss it softly and move on to the next one. She closed her eyes, never having felt such tenderness in all her life. His hand cupped her rib cage gently and Talon held her as his mouth moved across each scar. Cat swore she could feel the pain of the memories of each of those beatings vanish beneath his gentle kisses.
Talon eased his hand beneath the straps of her nightgown, pulling them aside, continuing to find scars here and there. He lightly kissed each of them. Tears jammed into Cat’s tightly shut eyes as she realized his gesture, absorbing it and wanting to cry because of the loving act he was sharing with her. This wasn’t about sex. It was about one human healing another. Hot tears leaked out of her eyes.
Talon held on to his rage. There were at least fifteen scars across Cat’s back. The bastard must have used the belt buckle end because he saw the scars were deeper at one end than the other, indicating the metal had gouged deeply in one area as it first struck her soft, unprotected flesh. He wanted to kill him. He felt his heart shredding with anguish over what had been done to Cat. Her skin was velvet smooth, firm, and yet, in the grayness, he could see the raised and puckered scars. He ached for her. When he finished, Talon slid down beside her, resting his cheek against her bare shoulder, tucking her close to him, holding her. Talon wanted to will the deep, beautiful feelings he felt for her into every one of those scars. He wished he could take their memory away from Cat. He knew with his own scars, he remembered each and every one of them. He remembered how he’d gotten it and what had been going on at the time. Everything. It was no different for Cat.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped thickly, kissing her shoulder. “I’m so sorry this was done to you. You never deserved it.” He kissed her slender nape and slid his hand down her rib cage to her flared hip. It was then that he felt Cat shudder, and he knew she was crying. But, this time, they were healing tears. Talon murmured her name and turned her around so that he could gather her up into his arms and hold her.
The straps of the nightgown had fallen to her upper arms and he slid them back into place. Her eyes were tightly shut, her mouth drawn in anguish as he brought her tightly against him. Groaning, he felt her breasts press against his chest, felt her nipples hardening instantly as they grazed in the soft hair across his chest.
Her tears wet his chest and he closed his eyes, holding her, stroking her hair and shoulders. Talon crooned softly to her. It only made her cry harder, harsh sobs tearing out of her like a perfect storm. First, the assault, then the nightmare, and then he brought back the suffering from her childhood by discovering her scars. What he felt right now was something so deep, visceral and good, and yet, it had no name. He wanted to do so much more for Cat. Talon dragged in a breath, tucked his head against hers and held her tightly, trying to protect her from those terrible memories. Talon knew they would never go away. But, in time, maybe he could bring her peace in his arms. Eventually, her weeping abated and Talon eased Cat away just enough to kiss each of her cheeks, taste the salt of her spent tears and give her his tenderness. Studying her in the silence, he slipped his finge
rs through her thick black strands. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Cat. You know that, don’t you?” He searched her face.
“I was so afraid of what you would think of me when you found them.”
He gave her a tender smile, cupping her cheek. “Babe, it only makes me more sure that you’re one of the bravest women I’ve ever known. Each scar is a Purple Heart as far as I’m concerned.”
Cat released a torn sigh. “I thought you’d find me ugly.” Because her two lovers had. Her first had discovered them and refused to even touch them, disgusted. The second lover told her she looked ugly. The shame Cat had felt was intensified by their callous comments that she was damaged goods.
Shaking his head, Talon growled, “Ugly? Scars are anything but.” He looked up at the ceiling for a moment and then shifted his gaze to Cat. “Listen to me, will you? You are so brave. You survived. I’m sorry there was no one to protect you growing up.” Talon gave her a softened look. “Now I understand a little better why you were so hesitant to let me love you. Sooner or later, you knew I’d find them.”
Cat’s throat tightened and she barely nodded. Her heart was beating with a mix of fear, pain and hope. The look in Talon’s eyes was one of understanding. Not pity. Not accusing. But…God, understanding. Talon had kissed her scars. Lovingly. With care. He hadn’t been repulsed. Hadn’t refused to touch them.
“Do you know what I want?” Talon asked her.
“What?”
“I want to sleep with you, Cat. I want to lie here with you in my arms. I’m not talking about sex. I want to hold you, make you feel safe so you won’t have any more nightmares. What do you say?”
Cat closed her eyes, unable to hold his tender gaze. She could feel the power of Talon’s desire, knew he wanted her. Yet, he was offering her something even more important: compassion. Opening her eyes, she searched his. “You wouldn’t mind?”
Talon grazed her cheek. “I’ve been dreaming of touching you from the moment I saw you,” he admitted, his voice rough with emotion.
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