by Fields, MJ
Emma leaned away when he tried to kiss her. He chuckled quietly and walked out the door.
~
Emma walked into Maddox room he sat at his computer as he did every night. He was looking at the missing children’s web link that was sent to him by Zach Taylor.
“It’s time for bed Maddox,” Emma softly as she rubbed his head.
“Can I please…just ten more minutes, please?” Maddox continued to scroll down looking over the pictures of their faces. There were so many.
“Sure Maddox, I will be back in fifteen minutes okay.”
“Thanks,” Maddox continued to stare at a picture.
Emma moved closer to see what he was fixated on, “Maddox, does she look familiar?”
“It’ Zach’s sister, she looks familiar. I am sure it is because I want so badly to give him peace,” Maddox continued to stare.
“Okay,” Emma kissed his head, “Do you want me to stay and look with you?”
“No not tonight, I probably don’t deserve…” Maddox stopped, “I am sorry about today.”
Emma let out a frustrated breath, “Maddox I am sorry about today to. I just never want to see you in trouble again okay? Dad and I are not always going to be able to fix it. This one is tricky, more so because your father acted like an ass.”
“I was scared, he didn’t want me to go alone,” Maddox looked up at her, “So it’s my fault as well.”
“He is the adult Maddox. It is not your fault.”
Maddox tried to hold his face straight, and Emma couldn’t keep hers that way either, “Shh, if we laugh he will hear us.”
“Sorry Mom.”
“I will be back in fifteen minutes okay?” Emma hugged him and left the room.
~
Emma sat on the bed and called Lila, “How is that little guy?”
“He is amazing, I can't believe Markus is going to be six months old soon, they grow up so fast,” Lila sounded so young and carefree when she talked about her son, and only when she talked about her son.
“Some of them anyway,” Emma said sarcastically.
“Your mad at him.”
“I am mad at him. Well I should be right? Ugh,” Emma threw herself back on the bed.
“So he hit him right in the face?”
“Yes he did.”
“Did it turn you on?”
“Everything Brody does turns me on. It sucks! I should be so mad at him right now. I mean honestly what the hell was he thinking…well I know what he was thinking, and even that turns me on. He is the easiest man to love and want to slap all within the same second. He …God Lila,” Emma smirked as she sat up, “Oh….”
“You okay Emma?”
“Uh huh.”
“Is he standing there listening?”
“Uh huh.”
“Have fun with that,” Lila laughed, “Call me in the morning.”
Emma hung up the phone and closed her eyes.
“Look at me Em,” his breath hit her hands that were covering her face. He had moved from the doorway to her in the blink of an eye. She shook hr head no, “Come …on now Em,” Brody lifted her chin.
She looked into his blue smoldering eyes, “You shouldn’t have hit him.”
“Nothing else would have gotten me in that police car with him Em,” Brody didn’t break eye contact, “I did what needed to be done.”
“But…”
“But nothing Em, I will take care of him. I would do anything for my family. You, Maddox, London, and Lexi, I will never change,” His hands moved down her body slowly, “ Your bodies reaction to who I am better not either. So fucking hot Em.”
Brody’s lips and body covered her. She wanted to tell him no, she needed to talk to him, to tell him this was not okay. She pulled her lips from his, and his mouth moved to her neck. Pleasure consumed her body, heat spread lower and lower.
“I told him…I told Maddox I would be back in fifteen minutes,” Emma whimpered as his cascade of kisses fell lower and lower, “Oh God Brody.”.
“That’s all I need,” he lifted her up swiftly pulling her legs around him. She grabbed his hair, pulled his mouth to hers, and kissed him deeply, passionately, “For now.”
~
Brody and Emma walked into Maddox’s room together. Maddox smiled and turned off the computer, “Are you done fighting?”
“We were not fighting Maddox,” Brody smiled and kissed Emma’s hand, “We want what’s best for you. I should not have hit Big Dick, you should not have hit, little…
“Brody,” Emma raised her eyebrow in warning.
Maddox tried hiding his smile.
“We need to find a way to deal with anger. Both of us,” Brody looked at Emma, “I will work it out tomorrow. We love you get some sleep.”
~
They sat in the district office at the high school waiting for the hearing to begin. Eli had two assistants, and a thick folder in front of him.
Richard walked in with a piece of tape over his nose, and so did his son. Brody’s jaw clenched, and Emma kicked him hard under the table. He bit his cheek trying his damnedest not to laugh out loud. Emma looked at Maddox, and he was doing the same. Are you freaking kidding me, she thought.
The meeting began the schools attorney attempted to take control. He stood and lectured Maddox and Brody on what was and was not acceptable in the schools district. He lectured them on the law, and finally a lesson on basic manners. He informed them that nothing had been found on the school's website and that these types of false accusations would not be tolerated.
“After an in house investigation we have decided to suspend Maddox for the rest of the school year. We will allow you to return next fall and finish your senior year as long as Maddox works with a therapist on his anger issues. I also think you may want to consult a doctor about the possibility of anxiety medication. This is absolutely the the best we can do, and honestly I think that’s more than fair,” he sat down.
Brody’s face was almost purple, and Emma squeezed his hand as he began to speak, “Un fu..”
Eli quickly interrupted, “This investigation, were students interviewed?”
“It was not necessary, there was nothing on the website. It was a false …” the attorney began.
Eli stood up, and the schools attorney stopped talking. Eli’s assistant, the female with red hair, walked around the table handing out reports.
“We had a forensic computer investigator look into these allegations. We found that they were in fact truths not lies. Open to page two and you’ll see Maddox Hines private file was in fact pulled up and posted on the schools main web page. It was deleted two hours later. But there was time for it to be posted on several students social media pages. Open to page’s three through twelve. They were deleted also. The password used to enter the schools site is on page thirteen. I am sure we know who it belongs to. So here is what we are going to do. Maddox will be back in school tomorrow, he will be treated well. He will in fact graduate in May and you will drop all charges.”
“He broke my sons nose and then his father…” Richard senior began.
“Shut up Dick,” Brody growled, “My son is a minor, he has been through hell, and he comes to this fucking place only to be tormented by a couple dicks!”
“I did nothing!” Richard senior snapped, “I will not drop charges!”
“Well I think you will once you and I have spoken, come with me,” Eli walked to the door, “Or we can do this here.”
They left the room for a few minutes and returned.
“You ready?” Eli smiled at the Hines crew, “We will see you in the morning Dick.”
~
Brody and Emma sat with Maddox at the table after the girls were in bed.
“We want to give you the option of whether or not to return. You should look at this report so that you know what you may be up against. If you don’t feel that you can handle what kids may say to you we want you to be honest with us, and we will hire a tutor,” Brody pushed the fil
e across the table to Maddox.
Maddox opened the file and began to read. The first part was all typical academic information. His test scores, grades, schedule, and behavior report. Maddox had been in thirty physical altercations over the past thirty six weeks he had attended school. The next page was notes written by the school psychologist. In his notes were several different diagnosis for Maddox.
Maddox chuckled, “Stockholm syndrome, I didn’t leave or try to because I feared for the safety of others. Not because I had any delusional need to stay with the pigs. Bipolar, not me either. Besides by definition, it sounds a lot like most teenagers going through hormone changes, no offense Mom but girls are crazy emotional. Separation anxiety, the closest I had come to those feelings were when I was being cuffed and when Dad went to England to confront Uncle Bo. Oh and attachment disorder, attached to FUCKING WHAT!”
“He has had enough Brody,” Emma began to shake.
“Fuck that I am just getting started,” Maddox grabbed the paper and continued to read, “Emotionally disturbed, that’s a fucking joke. Who THE FUCK isn’t emotionally disturbed. What a bunch of SHIT!”
“Brody please,” Emma whispered chocking back tears as Maddox sprung to his feet and paced the floor.
“I was raised by a bunch of scum for fifteen and a half FUCKING years. I was beat and shoved in a FUCKING closet. Some piece of shit shoved fingers up my ass! I was starved and abused for all but the past eleven months of my life. So I hit a few douche bags who don’t know what the FUCKING word NO means, oh FUCKING well the piece of shit’s deserved it. They are lucky to be FUCKING breathing!” Maddox sat back down and opened the next page, “Sexual deviant, no shit? But the funny MOTHER FUCKING thing is I am a virgin by choice! I had ample opportunity to fuck any number of girls, even women, but I pushed them off me. Waking up to get sucked off and saying no because it’s fucking dirty and I am a sexual deviant? Un. Fucking. Believable. Oh and a cutter, well no other MOTHER FUCKER GOT CUT! I would say I am pretty well fucking adjusted considering. FUCK!” Maddox stood again and paced.
“Maddox I am so sorry,” Emma stood to hug him.
“Not now, please. Not now,” Maddox walked out the door and paced back and forth in the lawn cursing.
“Brody, do something he is hurting,” Emma began to sob.
“He is finally breaking down Em,” Brody hugged her.
Maddox came storming in the door and froze when he saw Emma crying, “I am sorry it’s just…damn it I know all that shit I lived was wrong, I chose different. I CHOSE! I had no one to be accountable to and I CHOSE! This psycho babble bullshit is a Fucking excuse for shit behavior. Shrinks preach it giving every damaged person an excuse for their shit bag decisions. I mean honest to God, it didn’t feel good to be abused. It felt good to read to the kids and let them escape the hell even if just for a fucking minute! It felt good to smile at them and make them forget all of that shit. But you give someone like me who ….Oh my God.” Maddox stopped and scrunched his eyes together.
“What is it son?” Brody asked softly.
“Fucking ElizLiamth. I knew it wasn’t okay to be beat because of fucking ElizLiamth,” Maddox body trembled slightly, and he looked at Brody, “She taught me that.”
“She did,” Brody swallowed hard.
“So why the fuck… damn it!” Maddox squatted down again and shook violently.
“Some people don’t know any better Maddox. Some people think it’s normal behavior. Until someone shows them or tells them differently,” Emma knelt down in front of them, “ElizLiamth, your mother, my sister knew that. She was kidnapped at five years old. She knew the basic rights and wrongs.”
“Why didn’t she get help? She drove to visit me and pay the pigs. She could have escaped,” Maddox stopped and looked up at Emma seeking answers.
“I assume she was terrified Maddox. She had the pretty perfect first five years of life. They could have told her anything. It is even possible that they told her my parents sold her. We really don’t know. What we do know is she loved you the best she could in the situation she was in. And we know she died trying to save you, so she loved you Maddox,” Emma hugged him, “You chose because you were taught. Psychology isn’t bullshit Maddox. People however can use whatever excuse they can get their hands on for poor behavior. You chose not to, that’s what a psychologist job is. It gives the seeker an answer to why. It is then in their hands to decide if they change it or not. Unfortunately, most don’t. You Maddox are so strong and smart, you chose right, and we are so proud of you.”
“Mommy?” London cried walking in the room, “Maddox don’t be sad. It’s all better now right?” London hugged him tightly.
“Yes London, I will be fine,” Maddox returned her hug.
~
Brody sat on Maddox bed waiting for him to finish showering trying to figure out what to say to him. Emma walked in and hugged him pulling his head into her embrace.
“Thanks Love, I needed that,” he smiled and gently and rubbed the side of his head against her chest as she held him and kissed the top of his head.
“It will be okay,” Emma said softly.
Maddox scowled and looked down as he entered his room and saw them.
“You okay?”
“Wonderful,” Maddox said softly as he walked in his closet and changed into his pajamas.
“I will leave you two alone.”
“So let's talk,” Brody patted the bed.
“I feel like I have done enough of that tonight,” Maddox flipped on the computer and sat to look at the missing children’s database.
“Maddox, maybe you need to stop doing this every night. It has to hurt like hell,” Brody stood next to him.
“Most things do,” Maddox said expressionless as he scrolled through the page slowly.
“Okay I get it,” Brody began.
“No Dad, I don’t think you do. I watch you and her wrapped around each other all the time. Then I watch kids at school groping each other. Then I look at these pictures and think of what they have…we have endured because of dirty desires,” Maddox sneered.
“Maddox it’s different, so different. It’s not dirty desires with Emma it’s love. Wow Maddox I think we need to have the sex talk,” Brody chuckled nervously.
“No, I don’t think we do,” Maddox face turned red.
“Maddox, you kissed Harper correct?” Brody asked. Maddox looked up at him and scowled, “Did that feel dirty?”
“YES,” Maddox snapped, “No…I don’t know.”
Brody pulled a chair up beside him, “Give me your attention for ten minutes Maddox, and then you can go through this again.”
Maddox sat back and looked at him.
“Between two consenting adults, two people who are both willing sex is a beautiful thing. It’s not suppose to be impressed upon someone. Two people who make a commitment to care for each other, mind, body, and soul take pleasure in adoring each others…”
“Okay okay,” Maddox covered his ears as his face turned beet red.
Brody smiled, “It bothered you that Emma and I were hugging?”
“It bothered me that your head was squished into her tits on my bed in front of me,” Maddox said in disgust.
“Emma knew I was struggling tonight. She hugged me, and I rested my head against her heart. Taking comfort in her act of love,” Brody explained, “Her heart just happens to be beneath her tits.”
Maddox tried not to laugh, “I get it, fine, I get it.”
“Maddox even before Emma sex was enjoyable, maybe not while being held captive and beat but…you know what that’s not true. Your body responds to touch. It feels good to be touched. I was disgusted with myself when I saw the tapes. I should not have ….it feels good to be touched Maddox our bodies are built to enjoy the pleasure. In that way sometimes, our bodies defy our minds, and that can cause confusion. You spoke about girls coming into your room trying to well touching you. Did you enjoy that?”
“NO! How could I?” Maddo
x snapped.
“Okay but they craved you Maddox. They wanted to take comfort in you. They didn’t know any better. Their bodies betrayed them. Your mind tells you it’s dirty, and that’s okay. They knew that they can receive enjoyment from that act. They didn’t know any better. Those girls I pray to God have received counseling Maddox because they may think that they were immoral because it was pleasurable at times. I almost guarantee that’s what ElizLiamth thought. So you are on the complete opposite side of the spectrum.”
“I heard them cry Dad,” Maddox voice was barely a whisper, “In fear and in pain. I know what each sounds like. The cry of fear is a quivering in the throat, a low rumbling sound mixed with soft pleas. Pain is that times a million except it’s not quiet it’s loud and filled with horror still the quiver, but the rumble is gone, and it’s like a fucking bomb is exploding in your ears, in your heart. It brings you to your knees in desperation, and you cover your ears hoping it stops for them and then selfishly you hope it stops for you,” Maddox eyes were closed tight as he slowly rocked himself back and forth, “The longer those cries went on the worse they sounded the longer they lasted. When the pain and horror sounds left. The cries of disgust or self loathing began. They didn’t last that long. Then I would hear the pig shut the door and walk into the bathroom.”
Brady was horrified but made himself let Maddox talk. Maddox needed to get this shit out, he told himself.
“One of the older girls use to go in the room when called. She didn’t cry out in fear or pain. She made low little moaning sounds. The pig didn’t stay in there long at all,” Maddox wiped his eyes and looked up at Brody, “I asked her if she was okay once and she scowled at me. The next time I asked her she looked at me in disgust. I avoided her at all costs. One night, the night Lucy was brought to the house, the pig was taking one of them in the room. Fucking dragging this girl by her hair. I saw the horror in that girls eyes, and I snapped. I ran at him and punched him until he let go of the girls hair and grabbed his belt and beat me with it. He shoved me in the closet and locked me in. I was wild, I beat the door and screamed. I have no idea how the neighbors heard none of this! Lucy started screaming and then she stopped. I was so afraid he was hurting her. The older girl hit the door and hissed SHUT THE FUCK UP. I heard her trying to comfort Lucy she just kept repeating Shh Shh Shh over and over again until Lucy stopped crying. Then I heard her telling Lucy that if he takes you in there, don’t you cry. He likes that, and it hurts longer, don’t you cry Lucy,” Maddox covered his ears again closed his eyes, he brought is knees to his chest and continued, “Shh, shhh, shhh. She said it over and over again. I don’t know how long I was in there but when I came out I was filthy. She opened the door when I was showering and put a towel on the sink and walked out. She came to my room that night, I had not eaten in days. She brought me bread and apples. We heard Lucy I tried to open the door, it was locked. She covered my mouth when I tried to scream and …Shh Shhh Shh…. I threw up everything I ate, and she fucking cleaned it up. She told me he was drunk, and he would pass out. After the pig unlocked the door she snuck out when he was in the bathroom. She got Lucy cleaned up and brought her into my room after he passed out. We all laid in my bed, and I read to them…the Velveteen Rabbit…why do I remember that?” he finally looked up at Brody.
