“Oh.” My eyes widened, though I tried to keep the surprise out of my voice. I was here on scholarship, and it still barely covered my living expenses. He was a football player and might have a bigger one. Or the shelter might pay really well.
It wasn’t any of my business and I didn’t know him well enough to ask. I bit my tongue, and stayed silent until we’d crossed campus to where my dorm stood.
“Thank… thank you for a fun night.” I smiled up at him shyly. Since I’d never been on a date, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do right now, so I just told him the truth. “I liked it. Really.”
He said nothing, instead staring down at my lips, my smile. Though I knew that he had snuck past my guard, had made me want things that I didn’t have any business wanting, I still felt overwhelmed by the urge to grab him, to pull him close to me and to never let go.
“I’m glad.” I couldn’t have missed the intent in his voice. My nails dugs into my palms as the silence between us stretched out, thick and heavy.
“Well. Um. Goodnight.” I turned towards the neon lights of the dorm, a stone settling in the pit of my belly.
“Serena.” Alex’s voice was raspy, and it was exactly what I had been waiting for. I looked back over my shoulder, my heart in my throat.
“Yes?” I whispered.
“I want to kiss you.”
My skin suddenly felt too tight. He stood beside a battered old car, his hands stuffed into his pockets, the streetlights casting a buttery glow over his face. He wasn’t reaching for me, instead waiting for my consent.
He couldn’t have known how important that was to me.
He was beautiful. He could have had any girl he wanted, yet he was asking me if he could kiss me.
“May I?” His face was solemn. Longing was an ache in my belly as I nodded, jerkily. And then he closed the distance between us, placed his hands on my waist the same way he had while we were dancing, and dipped his head down.
All the wondering about whether or not he was into me flew from my head as he slowly pressed his lips to mine. I had thought he would crush me to him, would devour me with his kiss, but he was slow and in control.
It was no less hot. His hands slid around to splay over my lower back as he tasted my lips with excruciating slowness. My breath caught and I curled my fingers around his upper arms, right where his tattoos lay hidden beneath the soft leather.
Even through the thickness of the jacket I could feel the iron of his muscles, a hardness that spoke of something beyond football practice. I moaned softly into his mouth as my fingers danced, exploring up to his shoulders, his neck.
He made a sound deep in his throat, before backing me slowly against the parked car. I felt the chill of the metal seep through my jacket and my shirt, as he finally closed the last inch of space between us, pressed his body against mine, and deepened the kiss.
“Oh.” I parted my lips beneath the warm swipe of his tongue. I’d kissed with my tongue before, but never like this, never like I was being savoured.
An unfamiliar heat surged between my legs, and I felt the tips of my breasts pucker as they brushed against his chest. He wasn’t doing any more than kissing me, his hands still roaming the expanse of my back, but I felt my breath coming faster, harder.
“Is this okay?” With excruciating slowness he moved his hand from my back, across the stripes of my ribcage, and over to… oh man.
His large palm cupped my breast, over my tank but inside of my jacket and sweater. His thumb strummed over my nipple and I choked out a gasp against his lips, my hips pressing forward into his own.
“Serena.” His pelvis arched into me in response for one, long, satisfying second, and then he pulled back entirely, breaking the kiss, a groan escaping his lips as he did.
I could still feel the hardness of his need pressing into my stomach, the skin there sensitive and overly aware from the touch. There was a quick flash of self preservation in which I wondered if this was wise.
It wasn’t, I knew it wasn’t, but by this point I didn’t care.
My head swam as I tried to get some sense of my bearings back. I vibrated with need, wanting his lips on mine again.
He gave them to me, but in the form of a short, sweet, frustrating kiss.
“Night, Serena.” His hands moved to my hips, squeezed gently, then pushed me towards the dorm. Dazed, I did as he urged, walking the short distance across asphalt to the front door.
I only snuck one quick glance back over my shoulder, once I’d reached the glass door that had been smudged by a thousand fingerprints.
He was still leaning against the battered car, his arms crossed as he watched me—protectively?
I shivered. The look on his face was of restrained need… and it said clearly that he had claimed me as his.
He waited until I was inside the building, looking back through the glass door, before he pushed off the dented metal and walked away, hands stuffed into his pockets. He left me pondering what it felt like to have someone watching out for my well being.
I was pretty sure that I liked it.
Chapter Four
Though she wasn’t there when I went to sleep, the next morning I woke to Kaylee lying flat on her back on the bed, her feet in the air. She was painting her toenails a sparkly green, and she swung them over the side of the bed when I opened my eyes, disregarding the fact that they were shiny and wet.
“I haven’t seen you for like, two days!” She squealed and bent to pry the twists of toilet paper out from between her toes. With a little butt wiggle, she bounced the few steps to where I slept and seated herself cross legged at the foot of the bed, staring up at me expectantly.
“Yes?” I drew the word out as I raked fingers through my sleep snarled hair, propping myself up on my elbows. Despite the fact that she liked to party, Kaylee was an early riser, and entirely too perky about it.
It was difficult to face her before eleven, and even more so without coffee.
To distract those laser beam bright eyes from their focus on me, I made a show of yawning. “Do we have any instant coffee left?”
“Yep.” As I’d predicted, my Energizer Bunny of a best friend hopped off the bed and moved to the kettle that sat on our shared dresser. We tried to keep it filled with tap water so we could have tea and the not-so fabulous instant coffee that at least provided a jolt of caffeine, though Kaylee bitched about it every single time.
I sat the rest of the way up in bed, rubbing sleep from my eyes and finger combing my hair into a loose braid. I watched blearily as Kaylee scooped brown granules into my mug, then a scoop of powdered skim milk, then boiling water.
“I don’t know how you can drink this without sugar.” She wrinkled her nose as she brought me the mug. “It’s nasty enough even with it.”
“Not all of us are naturally svelte.” I made a face at her as I accepted the mug. Kaylee, I knew, had never worked out a day in life and loved cheesecake, pasta, and French fries from McDonald’s. It was hard to be mad at her about it when she constantly bemoaned the fact that my boobs were bigger than hers. “Thanks.”
“Now that that diversionary tactic is over with,” She plopped back down on my bed in the exact place she’d been before I’d requested coffee. “Where’d you go the night of the party? And what was up with that guy you were dancing with? Who is he? Is he a student? He was sexy as fuck!”
“Whoa, Nelly.” I held up a hand against the onslaught, even as guilt washed over me. I shouldn’t have left her at the party, even if she was hanging out with Joel. Not very best friend-y of me.
Figuring I needed the caffeine to get me through the grand inquisition, I gulped at the liquid, hissing when it seared my tongue.
Kaylee huffed with impatience as I stuck my tongue out, trying to cool it.
“I’m sorry.” Once I could speak, I bit my lip and looked up at her. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
Kaylee huffed out an impatient breath, then stole my cup for a sip.
> “Yuck. Why do we buy this shit?” Even though she proclaimed disgust, she chugged half the mug of watery coffee. “And that’s not the part I’m so interested in. I was with Joel. He doesn’t drink, you know that. I was fine.”
“And how is that going?” I didn’t really have any hope of distracting her for any length of time, but any extra second I could get was golden. I didn’t know what I was thinking or feeling about Alex myself, let alone how to put it into words for someone else.
Kaylee rolled her eyes. “After I’d had a few too many sips of that punch, we made out. He groped my boobs a bit, which was great, and then started in on the true love crap.”
I hid a smile behind the mug as I drained it, then pulled a pillow to my lap and wrapped my arms around it. Joel and Kaylee had been on and off for over two years. He was a nice guy, but he wanted to get serious—like engagement ring serious—which skeeved Kaylee right the hell out.
“So. The hottie.” Reaching over, she drummed her fingers on my knees, then, apparently deciding they were boring compared to her toes, reached for a bottle of metallic purple polish that clashed horribly with the glittery green and began to stroke it onto her fingernails.
“Well… what do you want to know?” I shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Kaylee squeaked when I jostled the bottle of polish, grabbing it before it could spill all over my navy bedspread.
“Start at the beginning. Who is he? Where’d you meet him? Why’d you let him dance with you?” Her words were eager. I sighed, hummed, and was treated with a stern look. After gnawing my lower lip with my teeth until it felt raw, I realized that resistance was futile.
“He… he’s in my American Lit class.” I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I could tell Kaylee anything, anything at all, and I knew it, but for some reason I really didn’t want to talk about Alex. Telling her about him would mean explaining why I was so conflicted… and that would mean telling her things that were best left buried.
Well, she’d just have to think I was weird for being conflicted, then, because of all the people in the world, she wouldn’t be able to relate to my past. She’d care—oh, she’d absolutely care. But Kaylee was too sweet, too full of sunshine to darken with my secret.
“And?” Kaylee shook her head as she screwed the lid back onto the bottle of polish. “I swear, it’s like trying to get you to talk about a trip to the dentist, instead of some action with that stone cold fox.”
I felt myself blushing. “There’s no action!”
She pinned me with a look.
“Okay… there’s been a bit of action.” Remembering how his hand had felt on my breast, his thumb playing with my nipple, made heat wash over me. Kaylee squealed when she noted my blush and clapped her hands together.
“Action? You? Stop stalling, and fess up. Now.”
Sucking in a breath, I told her about being late for class, and about meeting Alex outside the classroom. I told her about how he’d shown up at the party and about the puppy play session the night before.
I even told her about the steamy make out session in the parking lot. By the time I’d finished, her jaw was hanging open, and it seemed I’d accomplished the impossible—Kaylee Sawyer was speechless.
“What?” I hugged the pillow in my lap tightly. “It’s not a big deal or anything. He didn’t say he was going to call me again.”
But I knew he would. Whatever this was between us, he was feeling it too.
“I just… I mean… wow, Serena.” Kaylee fisted her hands in the length of her strawberry colored curls and tugged gently. “He must be special.”
I tensed.
“Why would you say that? I barely know him.” Shoving the pillow aside, I pushed back the covers and swung my legs out of bed.
“Serena.” Kaylee’s voice was beseeching enough that I stopped and turned back to look at her.
“I didn’t mean to make you mad. I just—you don’t date. You don’t go to parties. You don’t even like most people. I don’t know why, but I know there’s a reason. So you venturing out of your comfort zone is… I just meant… he must be pretty awesome.”
I bent to pick up my shower caddy from where it sat on the floor, using my hair to hide the mist that filmed my eyes. When they were clear I stood up again.
“He’s… different.” I admitted, fingering the rough terrycloth of my towel. “And I don’t really know why he’s fixated on me. Maybe I’m just a challenge.”
“Don’t even.” Kaylee was indignant as she reached for the pillow I’d tossed aside and pulled it to herself the same way I’d held it. “I saw the way he was looking at you. He looked like he wanted to eat you alive. Like he was undressing you with his eyes. And also like he couldn’t quite figure you out.”
“See? That’s what I mean. I’m a challenge.” It stung to hear Kaylee say it. Though I knew better than to get involved with anyone, and though I didn’t have any expectations in terms of our time together, I didn’t like the idea that Alex might discard me as soon as he’d caught me.
“I wasn’t done.” Startled by the fierce tone, I looked up to find Kaylee glaring at me, indignation written all over her face. “You’re a challenge, make no doubt about that. But he was also looking at you like you were a puzzle he couldn’t wait to solve. There’s more there than just the lust, girlfriend, though it looked like there was plenty of that too.”
I let out a strangled noise of frustration from my throat. “I’m going to shower.”
I had my hand on the door before Kaylee said anything else, and then she spoke so softly that I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right.
“You can tell me, you know.”
“Tell you what?” I didn’t turn, and kept my hand flat on the cool surface of the door.
“What happened to you. Why you keep most people out.” I had never heard this tone in her voice before, that streak of vulnerability, and it was tempting, so tempting to turn and puke out the entire sad tale.
What would it be like, I wondered, to tell someone who might care? To share the burden, just a bit?
“If I tell you, you won’t see me the same way. I guarantee it.” This was the closest I’d ever come to admitting that I had a past.
The closest I would ever come.
Grabbing the handle of the door, I turned it and pulled. Just before I left the room, I heard Kaylee, one last time.
“Not as untarnished as you think.”
What are you doing tonight?
It had been a full forty eight hours since the night at the shelter—the night Alex had kissed me senseless. I’d caught a glimpse of him in class, but he came after I got there and left before I did.
It was maddening. Though I’d told myself it didn’t matter, I’d waited, and I’d wondered why he hadn’t called.
I’d thought about calling him, but the stubborn part of me said that I’d called last time. It was his turn. And if he wasn’t interested, I was certainly not going to throw myself at him.
When the text came through I nearly swallowed my tongue with excitement. I’d just come back to the room from a shower, and was dripping wet and shivering, but I dropped my shower caddy and picked up the phone with fumbling fingers, typing out a reply.
Well, I’ve washed my hair and that was the big excitement of my day.
I waited for the reply, biting my lip with excitement when it came.
American Lit was the highlight of my day.
I sucked in a breath.
Could have been better if you’d come to say hi.
I held my breath as I hit send. I wasn’t normally so bold, but something about Alex erased my inhibitions.
Very remiss of me. I must make it up to you.
What did you have in mind?
Can I cook you dinner?
And so I found myself in the lobby of the apartment building he’d given me directions to two hours later, my nerves a series of pinpricks that danced over my skin.
As I pressed my finger against the buzzer to Alex’s apartme
nt, I remembered his lips slanting over mine nights earlier and shivered. It was new for me, this… this wanting. I couldn’t believe that I’d gone so long without it.
I just wanted to embrace it now. I’d been in the shadows for so long—I wanted to live.
“Hey.” How could one syllable be so sexy? But that was Alex all over, a bundle of mouth watering contradictions.
Tattooed bad ass. All American athlete. Lover of puppies.
Was it any wonder that I couldn’t stay away?
“Come on up.” He buzzed me through the front door, and I climbed the flights of stairs to his third floor apartment, then wished I hadn’t. The wisps of my hair suck to my forehead with perspiration as I knocked on his front door. And when he opened it, wearing faded blue jeans and a deep blue shirt that was only buttoned halfway up, I couldn’t tell if the pounding of my pulse in my veins was from the vigorous climb or from the sight of his rock solid chest.
I followed him into his apartment nervously, my heart stuttering in my chest when he bent to press a soft kiss against my left temple. My lips parted of their own accord. I expected to pick up where we’d left off last night in the parking lot, his tongue trailing down my neck and his thumb strumming my nipple, but the soft brush of his lips on my skin was all the physical contact he gave me.
Confused and needy, I looked up at him, and received a wide grin in return.
“How do you feel about board games?” Linking his fingers loosely in mine, Alex pulled me through the small apartment. “And I’d give you the grand tour, but there’s not much to see.”
“Board games?” I followed him into a small, galley style kitchen. Even with just the two of us in it, it was a tight fit.
“You know. Monopoly. Cranium.”
I squeaked when he suddenly clasped his hands around my waist and lifted me up until my butt brushed against the counter. I couldn’t help but gape at the way his biceps rippled when he lifted me.
“Yahtzee. Especially Yahtzee.”
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3) Page 5
