by Karen Docter
She rearranged the same small stack three different ways before Dan spoke up behind her. "Are you setting up shop in there?"
The underlying amusement in his question stiffened her spine. She closed the freezer door, pivoted, and promptly lost steam. "I...."
No matter what she may have heard in his voice, Dan's face told another story. "Shhh. I know. We need to discuss what's happening between us." His gaze raked her body to her bare toes and back again. "But, maybe you'd better dress first while I finish breakfast."
The suggestion was sound. The kiss had pried open their relationship, exposed feelings she could no longer deny. Removing Anthony as a protection had changed the rules, set her emotions free in some strange way, and she wasn't prepared to relinquish the control she'd wrestled from her life. That didn’t mean, looking at Dan’s erection pressed against his coffee-soaked jeans, she wasn’t tempted! "You should probably chang —"
Dan yanked her to him and fumbled with the silk tie at her waist. "Please, Tess," he growled. "Get out of here, now, unless you want me to change the breakfast menu."
She read the raw hunger on his face and glanced down at the irregular knot that now closed her robe over her nakedness. The temptation to ignore his warning was almost her undoing but with one last look into his blazing green eyes, she summoned the good sense to bolt for the dubious safety of her bedroom.
***
Tess broke the tense silence that carried them through breakfast and a short walk to the rocky beach several blocks from her apartment. "Maybe we should forget this."
With his own thoughts traveling along multiple lines of self-reproach, Dan knew she wasn't referring to the brisk Pacific wind tugging at their hair and clothing. Kissing Tess first thing this morning was not one of his brighter ideas. In fact, it rated right up there with thinking about her lying in his bed every night. Under him. Surrounding him in her heat, her burning intensity.
He dragged his gaze from the horizon and the outline of a loaded freighter sailing toward the bay. "I won't apologize for kissing you, Tess." He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong. I've wanted to do it for a long time. But...."
But, what? Did he tell her the truth? He'd given in to an urge he'd sworn to crush. He'd misplaced his vow, forgotten the differences that lay between them. Fact was he'd lost his mind completely and hadn't cared if he was swallowed alive. It would have made more sense to skinny-dip in shark-infested waters than kiss Tess Emory. At least then, his aching, tormented body would be out of its misery.
"Dan," she said, "we can't forget who we are."
"No, we can't."
And, therein, lay the heart of his problem. If he forgot who he was, he had to remember who she was. His nemesis. His trial. He'd returned to civilization and confronted the one thing he dreaded most, failure to find a balance between his past and his future. And, it had only taken one pair of luscious brown eyes to knock him off beam. "We want different things from life."
She nodded. "We're on two sides of the fence. I'm a Thorgram Group employee. You're a Thorgram tenant. I have commitments and obligations you can't imagine that makes a relationship difficult, if not impossible."
He was irritated by her belief whatever happened between them was influenced by their positions. "One kiss does not make a relationship." At least, one normal kiss didn’t. The problem was the kiss they shared in her kitchen an hour ago dragged his intentions beyond normal...way beyond.
"I didn't mean to imply that you, that I—"
His anger turned inward when he saw distress swamp her face before she turned away. Tess rarely failed to present a strong front to the world, but he'd gotten close enough to see the minute cracks in her armor. Inside, she was vulnerable. Passionate.
Yes. He wanted that passion thrown his way, for a while at least, but he suspected it would take a hell of a lot longer than three months to get her out of his system once he made love to her. He was moving on. Wasn't he? "Tess?"
Her back remained stiff, rigid. "What?"
"It takes two people to build a relationship, and we both know time and circumstances are working against us. If I weren't leaving, it might be another story. I'd—"
Tess confronted him. "You're leaving? When?" She barely paused to take a breath. "When will you be back?"
The barrage of questions surprised him. "I’m not coming back. I'm only filling in here through June. Didn't you know?"
"I do, now!" She waved her hands in the air and stalked past him toward her apartment, muttering under her breath. "I can't believe...we could have—"
Switching direction, she came back to poke her finger into his chest. "You should have told me."
"I thought you knew."
The misinformation—if that is what it was—could only have originated with his aunt. Dan could think of no reason for her to keep such crucial news to herself, unless his suspicions were correct and his family still had hopes of convincing him to stay in San Francisco. It was their intent when they approached him with the proposition, but he'd committed to a temporary arrangement. Nothing more.
Dan explained as much to Tess. “That’s why it isn’t a good idea for us to get involved. You deserve more than an affair.”
Her eyebrows rose. "Are you offering?"
"What?"
"You." She gnawed on her lower lip. "An affair with no strings attached."
Dan's throat tightened, strangling the first response to jump into his mind. "I don't think—"
"So, you don't really want me?"
Between the vulnerability in her alluring eyes and the hot, spicy scent he'd forever associate with her, Dan was drowning. The question was when hadn't he wanted her? The nature of his stay in San Francisco, the differences in their lifestyles, his plans for his future, his knowledge of a supposed live-in lover...none of it mattered a damn to his irrational desire to get close to this woman.
He shook his head to loosen any sane thought that might still lurk at the back of his mind.
"I see," Tess said, misinterpreting his movement. "Then, it's a good thing we both agree it wouldn't work."
Dan ordered himself to let it go. Instead, he dragged her into his arms and snugged her length up close until there could be no question of his response. Then, as her enticing mouth parted with shock, he leaned down and stole the rest of the kiss he'd denied himself earlier in her kitchen.
He took his time and savored it, demanding and coaxing Tess’s participation. Her lips softened beneath his, separated to invite him in. When he tasted her, she moaned sweetly into his mouth and wove her fingers through his hair. He was prepared to drag her down to the sand so he could love her properly when the cries of children playing nearby swept through his beleaguered senses like a tsunami.
He lifted his head with a harsh curse. “Make no mistake, Tess. One thing about us works and, if we weren’t out in the open, I’d show you how much I want you.”
“If we weren’t out in the open, I’d let you, and that’s what’s so crazy.” Tess took a deep shuddering breath and pulled her arms from around his neck. “So, what do we do? I was counting on you to keep my hormones in check.”
Her attempt at a joke was feeble, but it gave Dan an opportunity to step out of the sensual fog he’s built around them. Sooner or later, he was either going to make love to Tess or go out of his mind. But, too much had changed in the last few hours and it was time to clear his thoughts.
He fell back on the humor that had become comfortable between them in recent weeks. "I suggest a public place and an extra-large bread bowl of clam chowder."
Tess laughed. "Sort of a cold shower and consolation prize? Does that work?"
Her grin cut smoothly through his sexual tension. He smiled back. "There's always the fall back plan.”
“Fall back plan?”
“It’s kind of drastic. But, if a crowd at Fisherman’s Wharf and a full stomach doesn’t do it, we’ll have no choice but to jump off the pier and let the sharks finish us off.”
"I'
d say the cure is worse than the illness." She shivered dramatically. "Thanks, but no thanks. My agenda for the day does not include being featured on a shark buffet."
Tempted to throw a companionable arm around her shoulders, Dan tucked his hands in his jeans pockets and walked at her side toward the apartment. "I hope my bread bowl features on that agenda somewhere or I'll pass out from malnutrition. I need the energy to check out a boat at one of the marinas."
Already outfitted for pleasure fishing, it sounded perfect for his purposes when he spoke to the owner yesterday. He had to find a suitable vehicle for his newest venture to remind him hundreds of miles of water would soon stand between him and a tempting brunette who had hydrophobia and made permanency in San Francisco too damned appealing for his own good.
Too damned bad he wasn’t interested in what was good for him. "Come with me, Tess."
"I'd like to, but I need to go to the office."
Hadn't she looked at the color on the stress card last night before she passed out? "What you need is a day off."
Her scandalized expression wasn’t all that unexpected. "As a merchant, I can't believe you'd want me to slough off the weekend before the kickoff of our program. The bazaar is Monday." Prodded, she picked up speed across the beach.
He caught up with her. "As a merchant, I know everything is already set in motion. If it isn't, worrying the details now won't accomplish anything but give you ulcers."
"But—"
Their differences had never been more apparent. Still, he persisted. "Please, Tess. Explore the wharf with me."
Frustration and defensiveness radiated from her in waves. "If I don't go to work, I still have things to do."
"Like what?"
She ticked the items off her fingers. "Laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the apartment."
Knowing she'd start a second list if he didn't stop her, he interrupted. "Have you got clean underwear?"
Laughter burst from her lips. "I can't believe you asked me that!"
Unrepentant, he grinned. "As the owner of a lingerie shop I've become a firm believer that, if you have clean underwear, nothing else is important. Your apartment is fine. Your laundry won't walk off without you. And, I can help you shop for groceries." He lowered his voice to share a secret. "Pot pies and frozen dinners are not good stress management."
"And, you have some wild idea about becoming my stress manager?"
He was encouraged by the smile tugging on her lips. After searching in vain through her kitchen for breakfast staples, he knew she was probably down to one meal a day. Or less. He had firsthand experience with where that path led. "Yep, part-time, on a consultant basis. I don't charge much. Today's fee is a bread bowl of clam chowder."
"Is that all you think about? Food?"
It wasn't all he thought about recently. "Are you questioning my priorities?" he asked with mock affront.
"Would it matter, if I did?"
Her chuckle told him he'd won. "You'll come?"
"Yes. I'll come. But, be forewarned," she scowled at him, "I'm single-minded when I explore. If you can't keep up, you're going to wish you'd let me go to work."
"Not a chance."
Chapter Seven
Hours later, after the sun had set and they'd returned to her apartment, Dan agreed Tess was the most tenacious explorer he'd ever met and keeping up was a challenge. Part of it was due to the nagging ache in his lower back caused by his moving efforts and a restless night on Tess's abominably short couch. He also hadn't suspected how extensive Fisherman's Wharf was until he'd been introduced to every nook and cranny of it.
Tess didn't do anything half-hearted outside of the office either. Except for the brief time he sidetracked to the marina to examine the boat he subsequently offered to purchase, she never left his side, throwing herself into the part of tour guide with exuberance. After one look at the flush of pleasure on her cheeks, the shine of discovery in her eyes, he was prepared to crawl home.
If she showed half as much passion in bed, a man would have to have a lot of stamina to keep up with her.
The tenor of his thoughts made Dan shift on the living room carpet behind the seaman’s chest that served as Tess’s coffee table. Watching Tess drop her chopsticks into an empty take-out box of moo shoo pork, he rubbed his spine, the ache a welcome reminder of his limitations. Now, when they were back within a stone's throw of a bed, was not the time to realize he should have jumped off the pier when he had the chance.
"What's wrong with your back, Dan?"
Stabbing his last piece of sesame chicken, he didn't look up. "Nothing."
"I know back pain when I see it. That's the fourth time I've caught you massaging it today."
He'd forgotten how observant she could be. "It's no big deal. A twinge." He started to rise from the floor. "I've got to go, Tess. Thanks for coming with me today and—"
"Stop right there," she ordered before he could escape. "You aren't the only one with a corner on concern, you know. Sleeping on my couch last night obviously caused you discomfort. I can't let you leave without doing something about it."
He didn't disabuse her of the notion her couch had caused his problem. If that was male chauvinism, so be it. He had enough weaknesses around Tess. "What do you have in mind?"
She smiled. "I put my rack in the shop for repairs after my last victim so you'll have to settle for a back rub."
Before he could question his sanity, he began to unbutton his shirt. Then, a small voice in his head whispered a warning. “Tess, this is nuts. We resolved nothing this morning. We both know—”
Her gaze was steady. “I know we’re both adults, Dan. Do you want a back rub or not?”
Thinking about her hands on him tightened too many other parts of his anatomy. "You any good at it?"
He knew he'd spoken out of turn when her smile faded. "Top of the class," she answered abruptly. "Take off your shirt and lie on the floor."
Taking off his shirt without further argument, he laid down. Then, when nothing happened, he lifted his head to see Tess staring down at her hands, that sad, haunted expression he recognized on her face. "Want to tell me what I said wrong?"
With a heavy sigh, Tess pushed him down and threw a leg over the back of his thighs. Straddling him, her long fingers began to probe his back muscles. "I learned massage techniques years ago to ease some of my dad's back pain."
His body automatically responding to the way she surrounded him, he made an effort to focus on the conversation. "Your dad has back problems?"
When she kneaded the muscles at the base of his neck, his groan of pained pleasure almost drowned her response. "Dad was crippled in a car accident ten years ago. When the pain gets bad, sometimes massage helps."
Anguish and helplessness seeped through her voice, making Dan wonder who massaged her pain. "It was difficult for me to lose my father suddenly to a heart attack,” he said, “but watching a loved one suffer for years has to be so much worse. Is there a chance he'll walk again?"
"He'll walk if I have to tap every last surgeon in the Northern Hemisphere." There was no arguing with the steel in her vow.
Dan winced as her knuckle dug into the flesh below his shoulder blades. "Will surgery help?"
"The last two didn't accomplish as much as we'd hoped. This next one sounds promising." She finished with a murmur. "It has to work. This may be our last chance."
Her tension emanated into him from her fingertips, her legs and thighs, from every point of contact between them. Suddenly, Dan knew what drove Tess. On the heels of that realization, he knew he wasn't likely to win any battles against her obsessive behavior. He'd had a good reason for changing his habits a year ago, but he now knew she had equally good reasons for maintaining hers.
"You're paying for his surgeries, aren't you? That's why you want the promotion."
"That's why I'll get it."
She would, too, at any cost, and he knew that cost was too damned high. That was why, if he had any sense left, h
e'd walk away tonight and never come back. Tess needed someone to share her burdens, a champion, and he didn't slay anyone else's dragons any more. He hadn't yet succeeded in slaying his own.
Turning over without thinking, he dumped Tess ignobly onto her bottom. But, before he could say or do anything to save himself, he gazed into her expressive eyes and saw the doubt that undercut her determination, eroded her confidence. It was this deeply buried vulnerability, surfacing unexpectedly, like now, that always hit him the hardest.
He dragged her down to him and smiled crookedly. "Honey, you'll get your promotion. I'm sure of it."
Her breathy sigh warmed his chest. "How do you do that?"
Lost in her nearness, his voice seemed to come from far away. "What?"
"Build my confidence, bolster my spirit and relax me, all at the same time." A blush stole over her cheeks. "I've never had a man believe in me the way you do."
Dan stroked his fingers along her jaw. "You're a special woman, with boundless energy and goals that are important to you. There’s no question in my mind you’ll accomplish what you want but, if you need help in any way while I'm here, you let me know."
"My knight in shining armor," she accused with a watery smile. "You've already done so much. I'm not exactly blind to the way you’ve influenced my disenchanted merchants into falling behind my program."
"Is that why you were upset last night?"
"I thought you were using me to get elected to the Merchants Organization." She saw his frown. "I know it's not true and, after I came to my senses, I knew you weren't that kind of man."
The admiration in her voice made him feel like a hero, when in reality he had more in common with a self-serving jerk. She wouldn't think he was so chivalrous if she knew he'd only begun to smooth the way with her merchants so he could sleep at night and stop worrying about her tendency to overwork.
"Don't make me out to be all that damned altruistic, Tess. I have a vested interest in A Touch of Silk & Satin. My family needs this expansion to succeed. Facilitating your program is simply good business." It also wasn't in his nature to sit on the sidelines when there was work to be done. Some compulsive behaviors were more difficult to change than others.
