Like a good dog, Mason shucked his clothing off down to his boxer briefs and dropped to his knees.
“Good boy. Get your hands behind your head and show me that gorgeous body of yours.” Charlotte dragged the leather tails of the flogger around his chest and down his back, admiring her old handiwork.
Mason shuddered in anticipation of the first strike. As pent up and upset as he was, he had a feeling this session would be over quickly.
The first lash struck his lower back, just above the crest of his ass, followed in quick succession by a second and a third. Charlotte grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head back. “You didn’t take care of your back. Why?”
Mason didn’t answer. He knew that resisting would cause her to lash out harder. He wanted it. He just glared at the icy stare in front of his nose.
Charlotte tossed his head to the side. “You won’t answer me? Fine. I’m on to you, Decker.” She crossed over to the couch and sat, crossing her bare legs. “You will stay like that until I tell you to move or you answer me. Your choice.”
***
In the end, Mason chose not to answer her. Instead he dressed and left, wallowing in shame and self-pity. He felt like a junkie falling deeper down the addiction rabbit hole. Each time he called on Charlotte, he needed her to do something more extreme. He had gone on to contemplate knife play, because the beatings weren’t getting the job done anymore.
Visiting his old dom was not likely to thrill Laura, should he ever see her again, anyway. Walking the three blocks to his building, he had a chance to think about what it would do to her if she found out.
The Page Six article had been bad enough that his business partner had pulled him aside to have a conversation about his behavior. He hoped to God she hadn’t seen it too.
It was going on four months since they had split up, and every weekend was a blur of booze and women. He hadn’t slept with any of them; it was the thrill of the chase that did it for him. He couldn’t risk the consequences of what his dick might put him through.
It was time to clean himself up. For the sake of not only himself, but for his company, and the love of his life. Even if she wasn’t around to see it happen.
Chapter Fifty One
“Ma, I’m gonna go check out A Child’s Garden. I’ll meet you at Dobra.” Laura waved at her mother. She wanted to get in one more shop before settling in for her baby shower.
It had driven all of her friends and family crazy that she wouldn’t tell the sex of the baby. The truth was, she didn’t want to know because it didn’t matter: boy or girl, she was going to love it the same. Her family, on the other hand, was up her butt because they wanted to go shopping and “green and yellow are so boring.” At just over eight months pregnant, she didn’t give a fuck what they wanted.
When Laura walked in the door, a friendly woman in an Aztec-patterned maxi dress greeted her. “Welcome to A Child’s Garden! Is there anything I can help you find today?”
“I was looking for a carrier, maybe a wrap.” There was plenty in the store she wanted, but she would wait until after the shower to see what was still missing.
“Right this way.” The salesgirl motioned for Laura to follow.
The amount of merchandise in the little store was overwhelming. Just maneuvering her belly around was difficult. She turned and almost took out a display of baby leg warmers.
The salesgirl pointed to a narrow shelving unit with all different wraps and carriers. They were all so cute, Laura knew picking just one would be difficult.
“Be sure to check out our cloth diaper sale as well. We have a few that just got marked down and discontinued. My name is Cara, and if you need any help or have questions, just let me know.”
“Thanks, Cara. I will.”
After browsing for a few minutes she checked her watch. If she would make her own shower on time, she’d have to go right then.
After waffling between two ring slings she picked the blue, sibori-dyed sling and checked out. Maggie and her mom had spent weeks planning her baby shower; they’d kill her if she wandered in embarrassingly late.
“Thank you!” she chirped to the salesgirl, and rushed out the door.
“Laura?”
She turned around at the sound of her name and her heart sank like a stone. Ben and Patricia Decker were approaching her from the store next door. It was too late to run.
“Mr. and Mrs. Decker, it’s so good to see you!” She hugged and kissed her would-be in-laws. “How are you?”
“Clearly not as good as you, dear.” Patricia raked her gray eyes over Laura’s swollen body, scrutinizing her baby belly and obvious lack of a wedding ring.
Laura could feel herself blush. “Um, yeah. I’m due next month. J-July tenth-ish,” she stammered.
“Congratulations! Who’s the lucky chap?” Ben asked with sincere exuberance.
“Oh, no one you two would know.” She chuckled nervously. “I’m sorry to have to run, but I’m about to be late for my own baby shower.” She leaned in and hugged them both briefly. “It was so good to see you both.”
“Take care, Laura,” Patricia called to Laura’s back.
Without a backward glance, Laura waddled around the corner to the tearoom. “Fuck, fuck. What do I do now?” she whispered to herself.
“Laura, honey, where have you been? You’re ten minutes late.” Joanie intercepted Laura’s path and thoughts, dragging her into the café.
Maggie, Amber, and at least a dozen of her and her mother’s closest friends had all shown up with gifts and support for Laura and her baby. For that afternoon, Laura was able to put aside her doubts and worries, and just enjoy herself.
Chapter Fifty Two
Mason leaned against a big oak tree in Central Park to catch his breath. It had been ages since he had done any exercise, and he was feeling it. The Specials were interrupted when his phone rang. “Hello?”
“Mason, darling. How are you?”
He was surprised. His parents hadn’t called him in months. They had been on holiday visiting family in England since February. “Hi, Mum. I’m good. Just relearning how to breathe.” He had finally caught his breath. It took long enough.
“That’s nice. You’ll never guess who I just bumped into downtown.”
“You’re right. I won’t.” Downtown Northampton was lovely, but nobody of importance ever showed up there.
“Your ex-fiancée, Laura.”
Mason froze, wide-eyed and feeling like an idiot. Of course she’d go home to her parents. Where the hell else would she be? “How did she look? Is she happy?” Did she mention me? Was she with another man?
“She looked lovely, radiant even. And very, very pregnant.” Patricia just loved gossip and relished telling her son about his scandalous ex.
Mason nearly dropped his phone. A ball of lead formed in the pit of his stomach. He couldn’t have heard her correctly. “Say again, Mum. Your phone cut out.” His blood pressure spiked, and it took all of his control not to hyperventilate into the phone.
“I said she was very pregnant, Mason. She said she was due around July tenth. She moved on rather fast, didn’t she?”
Like Laura, he counted the weeks back in his head. His mother was so obtuse. “Yes, Mummy. I suppose she did. Listen, I have a lunch meeting I have to go get ready for. Give Dad a hug for me.”
“Will do, darling. Love you.” She disconnected on her end.
Mason just let the dead air hang there. Laura was pregnant, pregnant with his child. “How could she not tell me?” he whispered to himself.
It didn’t matter. He knew where she was. He scrambled to pull himself together and ran back to his apartment to clean up. He had to finish out the workday, and then it was off for a weekend in Western Mass.
Chapter Fifty Three
Laura was finishing up all of the baby laundry. She had taken the tags off, sorted, and washed every tiny article of clothing. The day before, her dad had helped her put together the co-sleeper and de-clutter
her room.
She had just laid out everything for her birth bag when she heard a knock at the front door. Her parents were out, so she shuffled to see who it was. She was shocked when she opened the door.
No matter how shocked Laura looked, it was nothing compared to Mason. His face blanched and his eyes bugged out. Laura looked ready to give birth right in front of him.
“Wh-what are you doing here, Mason?” The jig was up. After six long months, Laura and Mason stood face to face. She didn’t want to be the first to address the hippo in the room.
All Mason could do was stare and point. His mouth had dried up and his vocal chords had quit. The sight of Laura’s stretched belly had struck him completely dumb.
Laura nodded, relieved of the burden of hiding the truth. There was no way to pretend. Mason could read a calendar and work the math out.
In two steps Mason crossed into the foyer and gathered Laura up in his arms. “I love you so much.” In that moment nothing else mattered: Mason was just so happy to be in the presence of his love and his baby that he immediately put aside his mistrust.
***
Laura stiffened at the embrace at first. She still hadn’t processed what was going on. But the warmth and the scent of him wrapped around her like a warm blanket. Her emotions completely undid her, and the word vomit started. “Mason, I’m so sorry. I should have told you about all of this. I’m such a fuck-up for keeping this to myself. I love you so much. Can you ever forgive me?”
Mason backed away and locked eyes with her. He caressed her face and just took in the sight of the beautiful woman in front of him, “There’s nothing to forgive,” he said softly before crushing his mouth to hers.
It was as if, for all the months leading up to that moment, Laura had been dark, and with one kiss, an inferno was lit inside of her and she felt warm and alive again. “I love you so much,” she sputtered between kisses.
Mason pulled away, his breath coming in ragged gasps, to look down at the barrier between himself and Laura. “Can I…?”
Laura nodded with a smile. She grabbed his hand and pressed it to the side of her belly just as the baby started kicking. Her chest ached as she watched Mason’s face light up as he felt his baby move under his palms for the first time.
“I’m going to be a dad?” he asked.
“Yeah. This baby is all yours, Mason.” Tears of joy welled up in Laura’s eyes. This time she didn’t dash them away.
“Oh my God,” he whispered as he sank to the floor. Like a curious child, he pressed his ear to her belly and got a kick in the ear for his trouble.
Laura giggled. “Now you know how my kidneys feel.”
Mason chuckled and kissed her belly. To have fatherhood suddenly thrust upon him was overwhelming, but not something he opposed. Quite the opposite. While he had been ring shopping he’d often wondered what their kids would look like. Would they have their mother’s smooth skin? Their father’s dark hair? Their mother’s stubborn streak or her quirky sense of humor?
“Do you want to see the ultrasound pictures?” Laura asked. She was really close to her due date, but thought to give him at least that much. She felt like she owed it to him.
“Of course!” Mason answered excitedly.
Laura sat him down on the old sofa and hurried to her purse as fast as her swollen legs would carry her. All fear and apprehension was gone, quickly replaced by relief and elation. Since she’d found out she had been willing to go the course alone, no help, she’d felt like she didn’t need it. As her due date approached, she became more and more unsure of that position.
Mason showing up had had the opposite effect of what she’d imagined. All those nights lying in bed thinking he would be a controlling pill to deal with had been a waste of time. She realized that, with two people in a relationship, it takes two to make and two to break, and she’d put in her share as much as he had.
She grabbed the 3D pictures she’d had done the week before. She had looked at them a thousand times and was in awe every single time.
“Here’s your child!” Laura announced, and handed Mason the photos and sat down next to him, their thighs touching. Even that distance wasn’t close enough.
At first Mason didn’t look. He had no idea what was stopping him. Sure, there was the usual anxiety that all first-time parents go through, but that was mixed with something else. He hadn’t been there for her appointments, didn’t get to see the first ultrasound. He felt deprived of all the other things he thought a first-time dad should do, like put together the crib or pick out paint for the nursery walls.
“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to see the pictures?” Laura was confused. He had been so excited a second ago.
“I was just thinking. I wish I had been there with you for this. I guess I feel kind of cheated.” It was nice that Laura at least had the decency to look ashamed.
“I figured. I’m so, so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, and in the end I screwed with us both.” Laura knew she had no excuse for her decision. It was a streak of self-righteous stubbornness that had wormed its way in and clouded her judgment.
“I told you, there’s nothing to forgive. We both weren’t exactly the picture of innocence during the last several months.” He rubbed a spot on his ribs where a hard welt used to be.
“I know. I saw Page Six.”
Mason stared at the floor. “I’m sorry you had to see that. That photo caused me more problems than anything. I was hoping you hadn’t seen it.”
“No such luck. We weren’t together, so you were free to do what you wanted. I guess I underestimated how much New York society would have a conniption about it.” She’d also underestimated how much his moving on would hurt, until she saw it in a nationally distributed newspaper. “Have a look at your child. I think that will be enough to put all of this shit behind us. Or it will at least help.”
Mason held his breath and turned the pictures over. His jaw dropped at the detail of what an ultrasound could capture. “I… Wow,” he whispered, “He has your mouth.”
“Uh-huh, and your cheeks, but don’t be so hasty on the boy thing,” Laura warned.
As Mason spread all four photos on the coffee table in front of him, the other option dawned on him, “Oh, it’s a girl then?”
Laura grinned. “Well, no. Actually, I don’t know. I wanted it to be a surprise.” Laura pointed to each print. “See? They are only of the baby’s face.”
Immediately Mason grew exasperated. “What do you mean, you don’t know?” he huffed. “Everybody wants to know. How will we know what to shop for?” The endless list of baby items scrolled through Mason’s head. He was a planner and needed to have all the details.
“You sound like my mother!” Laura scoffed.
“Well, she’s a smart lady,” Mason sighed.
“Well, the good news is you won’t have to wait. I’m due in a few weeks. And before you whine about it, I’ve had to wait longer. You can go three weeks.” Laura narrowed her eyes at him. If he even thought about making a fuss she was going to kick him in the ankles.
“Fair enough. Will you show me the baby’s room?”
“Sure. It’s upstairs. The baby is going to room with me for a while. I’m currently living in my old room,” Laura explained.
“Oooh does it still look like it did when we were in high school?”
Laura nodded. “Yup. Ma didn’t change a thing.”
Mason couldn’t wait to see. “Please tell me you haven’t changed it since you moved in. I will be so sad if you did.”
“See for yourself.” Laura pushed the bedroom door open to reveal that she indeed had left it.
“Holy hell.” Mason doubled over in laughter. The far wall was still plastered in boy band posters, and the wall color had faded, but was still bubblegum pink. Even the heavy wooden canopy bed was the same. He did notice there were some changes. A tiny dresser was tucked in the corner near the closet, and a bassinet was set up near the bed. A photo on Laura’s
vanity mirror had caught Mason’s eye. He crossed the room to check it out.
It was a picture of the two of them and a few of their high school friends. They couldn’t be more than sixteen in the photo. “I can’t believe you didn’t burn this!”
Laura giggled. “Why would I? It’s such a cute picture. Look at your blond tips and Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirt. Man, you wore that thing to death.” The nostalgia was bittersweet.
“Yeah, that’s why you need to destroy this. We graduated in 2003 and had the hair to prove it. Look at your skunk stripes! And if memory serves me correctly, you rocked that hair and those ridiculously low cut jeans. I did always enjoy the little peek of thong I saw sitting behind you in science class.”
Laura rubbed her belly. “Ha! Yeah, I’ll never be able to do that again.”
Mason dropped the photo and moved in close. “You’re the sexiest thing I have ever laid my eyes on.” He rested his palm on her belly. “Even more so now,” Mason purred.
Laura felt the familiar clench between her legs. She had been horny from seven plus months of celibacy, and his voice nearly tipped her over the edge. “You’re just saying that because you got me all knocked up.”
“Damn right.” He shifted his hands higher, over Laura’s overly sensitive breasts and up her neck.
Laura sucked in a breath as his hands brushed over her nipples. They tingled at his touch, and frankly, so did other parts. “You know, I’ve read that pregnancy sex is on a whole other plane.” She cupped Mason between the legs. “And I’ve been dying to find out if that’s true.”
Mason grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Ask and you shall receive, darling.” He bent to kiss her. He had been mostly stiff since he saw her in the doorway. It had been far too long away from her. “I will warn you, I haven’t been busy either. This might not last long.”
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