by Erin Trejo
“Yeah, I haven’t figured that out either,” he says softly before dropping his arms to his sides.
“I need honesty,” he tells me. I shake my head because that’s something I can’t give him all of just yet. Not until I can figure out how to take care of Bone.
“I just gave you honesty. The rest of it isn’t up for conversation.” I take a step away from him but he’s quickly on me.
Link grabs my shoulder’s, jerking me in front of him. His eyes blaze with fire.
“I’m sick of this shit! You know why I was a virgin? Because of shit like this! I didn’t want the fuckin’ bullshit that came with the feelin’s. I didn’t want the lies! I wanted fuckin’ happiness.” His admission takes me by surprise. I knew there was something deeper to the story. Something he hadn’t told me.
“And you got stuck with me. I didn’t plan it that way, Link. In case you forgot—I wasn’t much of a willing participant.” My words sting him. They hurt me too, but they are the truth. We were forced into that.
“For a while I felt like that. I thought I fucked up so badly with you. I mean, it wasn’t just that one time. It was every time I touched you. I felt alive with you, Jordyn.” His voice has softened and so has my heart.
“You felt alive with me? So, you don’t anymore?” I ask the obvious.
Chapter 39
Link
How do I answer that? I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t like the game of emotions. I knew that I had my emotional well-being under control before Jordyn, but this? I can’t fucking help it around her. She sends my mind and body into a fit that I can’t control.
“I can’t do this,” I finally say. I walk past her and head inside but I can feel her right behind me. I jog up the stairs needing to be alone for a little while but when I hear the door close behind me, I know that’s off the table.
“Get out. Go find one of the girls,” I tell her as I pull my shirt over my head. Is it fucking hot in here? I feel like a goddamn furnace. I toss my shirt onto the chair before I feel her hands on my skin. Fire races through my veins.
“I told you to leave. I don’t want to hurt you, Jordyn, but the way I feel right now, I can’t promise…” I don’t miss the jolt. I scared her. She should be scared because I feel murderous right now.
How can she lie to me? How can she come in here and fuck with my family? What’s fucking worse? How the hell can I still want her? Her fingers move around my waist before she’s standing in front of me. Her hands resting on my chest.
“I messed up, Link. I know I did. I was trying to make it right. I don’t know how to do that now. You should have just let me go.” My eyes come to meet hers. There’s a sureness in her now. One that wasn’t there before. She wasn’t sure of what she wanted before. She was running, but from who else?
“I couldn’t let you go. Don’t you get that?” I ask her. She shakes her head before she says, “I’m no good. I agreed to things that could get you killed. You don’t want that in your life.” She starts to pull her hands away and I can’t let her. Fuck, I can’t let her do that. I reach up and clasp her wrists in my hands. Her eyes stay linked with mine. A strange connection, a moment in time. There’s an undeniable attraction that neither of us can break.
“Take your clothes off.” I slowly step back and watch her. This isn’t going to be easy. This isn’t going to be a slow drawn out love making session. I can’t do that right now. It’s either fuck her raw or choke her to death.
Jordyn shakes her head but when she looks into my eyes, she does it. She can see what the hell is happening to me. I watch her pull her clothes off as I do the same. I have the condom on in no time. I stand there, just watching her. I want her to feel uneasy. I want her on edge. It’s the way she has me all the time. Tied in fucking knots.
“Turn around,” I say roughly, my voice choked with emotion. She does as I say, and turns.
I move toward her slowly, with purpose and intent. Her body trembles and I haven’t even touched her yet. I love that she can sense it coming though. I wrap my hand around her waist and listen to her gasp. I walk us toward the small table before shoving her roughly onto it. She grips the edge as I lean over her and whisper in her ear, “This is what you’ve done to me.” Jordyn doesn’t make an attempt to move. She stays still.
I grab my dick and ram into her painfully. She screams but I quickly place my hand over her mouth. Her body shakes with fear. I’ve got her on edge and she doesn’t know what I’m about to do to her.
I lean down, thrusting my hips so that she takes more of me. “Keep quiet,” I growl. I stand up, releasing her mouth before pressing roughly on the side of her head. Forcing it against the table. I’m sure I’m causing her pain. I don’t care right now, though.
“You fucked with the wrong guy!” I roar as I pound into her. Jordyn cries out but it isn’t from pleasure. It’s from the pain that I’m making her feel. The pain of what she’s done to me.
The pain of the betrayal. The pain of the lies.The pain that I feel sitting in my chest when she isn’t close to enough to me. I want her to feel it all.
Chapter 40
Jordyn
He wants me to feel and God help me, I am. It hurts worse than anything I felt but it’s not the physical pain. It’s the emotional pain. The pain of knowing that I hurt I him. The pain of knowing that he actually cares about me. No one cares about me. He holds my head painfully against the table as he fucks me until my knees are weak.
“All of this is your fault!” he roars the harder he takes me.
“You made me into this, Jordyn.” His hips buck faster. I can feel him swell inside of me but I’m surprised when his hand leaves my head and wraps around my waist. His fingers find my clit before rough strokes send us both over the edge.
My body locks up and holds him hostage as my orgasm rips through me. I don’t move, though. I know better than to move from the position he put me in. I stay there while I listen to him catching his breath. When he pulls out of me I’m even more surprised. Link pulls me up and spins me around to face him. He’s out of breath with sweat dripping down his temples. He watches me before he kisses me so gently. It’s a contrast to the way he just fucked me on that table. My body comes alive with just the taste of his lips.
“You’re ruinin’ me. I let my guard down for you and you’re fuckin’ usin’ it against me, Jordyn,” he whispers against my lips.
“I didn’t mean to. You have to know that I wouldn’t be doing this if I had another choice.” I want to tell him about Bone. I really do but I know that Bone will make good on his word. I don’t want to see Link dead.
“I’m your other choice, Jordyn. You can tell me. Let me fix it for you. Choose me,” he practically begs. My throat tightens and tears threaten to burst from my eyes. He stares at me for a long time. Neither of us speaking. Then he breaks that connection. Link walks away and heads into the bathroom, leaving me to his words.
I can’t put this on him. I let Bone do this. If I tell Link, they will go after him. I know they will. What if they get killed? What if they die in the process of trying to make it right? Bone won’t hold back. I drop onto the bed and place my head in my hands. How am I going to get out of here and find Bone? I have no doubts that he knows something is wrong. He probably thinks that I told Link everything and that’s why I wasn’t there on Saturday. My heart constricts in my chest. I don’t know what to do now. Running was my last option. I should have known that Link would be able to find me. If anyone could, it would be him. I pull my clothes on and lie on the bed curled into myself. I hear the shower’s on but I don’t go in search of him. I have to come up with a new plan. I have to figure out how to make this right.
There’s only one way that I know but how am I going to get away from Link’s watchful eye now? He isn’t going to let me out of his sight. I close my eyes and let the world slowly fade away. Everything is dark in my sleep. It’s the best place I can be right now. When I wake up, things have to change. I have to g
et Link to trust me and I have to do it right this time. I have to get to Bone and make things right even if it means taking the last thing I wanted to give.
My life.
Chapter 41
Link
“Everything looks good,” I say into the mic before I sigh. I watch the guys at the recent drop. Nothing out of the normal on this one, thank fuck. It’s been a little over a month since Jordyn tried to run. She’s up to something too, I can tell.
Her dad’s release got held up. I hacked the system and made sure of that shit. I just needed more time to put things together. I need to figure out what the hell to do about him and find out what the hell he has with the Mayor. I won’t let him near her. That’s not even up for discussion.
“Hey.” Aubrie’s voice filters through the room. I glance over my shoulder and flash her a smile before she sits next to me. “Long day? You look tired,” she says as we both watch the screens in front of me.
“Long month,” I mumble. Aubrie giggles before her hand rests on my arm. I slide it off and grab her hand in mine instead.
“She’s acting different,” Aubrie says before I can even open my mouth. If anyone noticed it would be her. She has a sixth sense about this shit.
“I know. I don’t know what the hell to do here, Aub’s.” She lies her head on my shoulder before I pull her into my side. I hold her there while we watch the guys make the drop.
“I think she’s just scared too, though, Link,” she says. I sigh. I know that already. As much as I hate it, I know.
“There’s more than she will tell me. I want to know. I want to fix it. I can’t though. That’s what’s fuckin’ eatin’ me alive,” I admit. Aubrie sighs before she says, “Don’t take this wrong, but do you think she doesn’t want to be with you?”
I close my eyes and let that sink in. I don’t want to believe it’s that. I don’t want to think that she doesn’t want me but then again, we were pretty much forced on each other.
“I thought about that, too. Maybe I need to let her know that it’s ok for her to not want me.” Aubrie pulls her head up and looks at me. Those beautiful eyes of hers sparkle in the light. She’s one of my best friends.
“Let me talk to her. Maybe coming from another woman will help,” she says. I smile and give her a nod. She may be right on this one.
“I appreciate it, Aub’s. I love you.” She kisses my cheek before she says, “I love you too, Link. More than you know.” I watch her stand and walk out of the room, taking all her light with her.
I’m left in my own dark. The dark that tells me that something bad is going to happen. The dark that says this world of ours is slowly coming apart and I’m not going to like the outcome. I watch the guys climb on their bikes and pull out before I close down my system. The one thing I do pull up is her picture. I study the look in her eyes. The way the bruises marked her face. The broken lip that still slightly bleeds. She was ruined long before me. He stole her innocence. He stole her childhood.
“I’ll make sure you don’t fuckin’ hurt anymore,” I whisper to the photo on the screen in front of me. And I mean every word of it, too. I will get her father for her. She won’t have to live in fear of him.
If she would just open up and tell me who else I need to go after, I would handle them, too. I can only keep her dad in jail for so long before someone realizes that the system has been hacked. I need to come up with a plan, but first, I need more information on that twisted ass Mayor that wants to keep him close so badly.
So, my search continues.
Chapter 42
Jordyn
“Look, Link is one of my best friends. I love him to death. I’d do anything for him and he knows it. What you don’t understand is that if you don’t want him, all you have to do is tell him that.” I watch Aubrie like a fucking hawk. She came at me so quickly, I didn’t see her coming.
“I don’t think you understand,” I tell her. She sits on the couch next to me before she sighs.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt it out. Link’s a good guy. He’s been there for me through a lot and I want to do the same. I know he cares about you.” I nod once before I turn to face her.
“I care about him, too. I know he thinks it’s because of this whole forced sex thing but that’s not it. I’m content and happy when I’m with him. He holds me and it doesn’t hurt. I messed up, Aubrie. I know I did but I can’t fix that! I want to... I’m working on it.” Her eyes search mine and I fear I said too much to her. I shouldn’t have let that part slide.
“Why don’t you let him help you?” she asks. She isn’t being a bitch, she’s curious
“My whole life was decided for me. I was told what I could and could not do. When I ran from my dad, I knew he’d look for me. He isn’t even who I’m concerned with. I want to fix this, Aubrie. I want to make it right. If you thought telling Micah something would get him hurt or killed would you keep it to yourself?” I ask her needing to hear an honest answer.
“It depends. I don’t like lying to Micah. If there’s a way around him being hurt, I might, but for the most part, no. I would tell him. He can handle more than I know, just like Link can. I understand that you ran into some really bad guys and that you look at Knights of Sin differently, but honey, deep down, they are killers. They will do what they need to do to protect the ones they care about and themselves.” I watch Aubrie take a drink from her bottle before I tip my head back and close my eyes.
“I don’t want to see him hurt,” I mumble under my breath.
“You don’t know that he would be. He’s stronger than you’re giving him credit for. You haven’t been around for the wars these guys have been through. They can take a hit. They have in the past,” she says. The couch shifts and I know she’s walking away.
I don’t look though. I don’t want to. What if she’s right? What if I do need to tell him? Would it make a difference? I don’t want Link going to war for me. That’s what it will ultimately come down to. I don’t think Bone would stop with just me, though. I believe with everything I have in me that he would kill me and come after Link anyway. He wants Bomber. There is no way around that—not even killing me. I shove off the couch and head back inside ready to tell Link everything. He isn’t who I find, though. Right as I step inside Bash and Bullet corner me.
“We all see you actin’ different. Wanna tell us why?” Bash crosses his arms over his chest. I know these two hate me and I can’t blame them.
“I don’t have to tell you two anything. I need to talk to Link.” I try to push past them but they don’t let me.
“No. I think we’ll work. We want fuckin’ answers, sweetheart. Answers we know you have...” Bullet’s eyes are wild. I have no doubt that he’d kill without a second thought.
“I’m not giving you anything. I need to talk to Link,” I say again. Bash steps closer to me, his hand coming around my throat.
Flames burst on the surface of my skin. It hurts worse than being set on fire. I cry out at the contact. The guys share a glace but he doesn’t move. I would have thought Link would tell them about the whole not being touched thing. I thought he had. Maybe these two didn’t pay attention, or they are so pissed they don’t care.
“What the hell are you doin’?” I hear Link’s voice before he shoves past Bullet. His eyes land on mine. He knows the pain. He’s witnessed it.
“Get your fuckin’ hands off her!” he roars. In seconds, Link has Bash against the wall, slamming his fist into his face. “Don’t you fuckin’ touch her! She can’t handle that shit!” In that moment—I realize just how much I mean to Link. I see the look in his eyes. I see the fire behind his fist. I can feel the emotion as it flows off him. He turns to me, pulling me into his arms.
“No one will touch you again,” he whispers.
Chapter 43
Link
I know what they were doing. I appreciate that they care... but putting her at risk isn’t happening. I have barely gotten her to let me touch her. I saw the p
anic and the pain in her eyes when I stepped around Bullet.
“Come with me,” I tell her softly, pulling her still shaking body along toward the room. She follows but I know she’s shaken.
“I need to tell you something,” she says, her voice cracking. I pull her into the room and close the door before capturing her face with my hands. I bring her face up to look at me before I kiss her softly.
“I know there’s things that are fucked up around here. I need to tell you somethin’, too,” I admit to her. I need to tell her that I found out what her dad and the mayor were up to.
“I need to tell you this, Link! While I still have the strength!” she snaps. I release her face and watch her take a step back. I walk over and drop into the chair and wait.
Jordyn paces the room slowly before she takes a deep breath and looks at me, “I know you care about me. I care about you, too. It isn’t just from what they did. It’s more... I can feel it.” My heart beats a little faster when she says it. Just knowing that she cares is enough for me. I start to open my mouth but she stops me. “Let me finish.” She takes a deep breath, her face paling a little.
“I was running from my dad. I was at a bar and drunk half off my ass. He found me there. I ran into the back and literally fell into Bone’s lap.” Jesus Christ! That’s how he got her? I shift in my seat and wait for her to continue.
“My dad came in and Bone helped me get him put in jail. He kept him away from me until the cops came. It didn’t end there, though. Bone kept me. He took me back to the clubhouse. At first, he was nice. He kept the guys away from me. No one was allowed to touch me, not even him. He kept his distance.” She stops walking and picks at the hem of her shirt. I shove out of the chair and head straight for her. I pull her into my arms, soothing her.
