John rarely lost his temper but his bright red cheeks, the set of his jaw and the way he was clenching his mug made it clear this was one of those rare occasions. Severine hesitated for less than five seconds and everyone in the room fell silent until she put her chair back in place and resumed her seat.
John nodded and took a deep breath, as if he was trying hard to calm himself.
‘You’ve lied to this family for the last sixteen years, Severine. From the minute you told us you were pregnant by someone who worked at the fair. When we found out the truth at Christmas, it was as if you’d stuck knives in all our hearts. Molly’s and mine in particular. We’re your parents and we love you. We’ve always loved you. We will try to support anything you do. We always have. To not tell us about Roggero made us feel we’d failed as your parents. It hurt. It still hurts. And let’s not forget, he and Sylvie were our friends. Their daughter was, and still is, Evie’s best friend. Their son is working here part-time. Imagine how that news made us feel. Made them feel. But we support you nonetheless. We love you in spite of the lie. We simply want you to talk to us about it. About your choices now, too. We want you to be happy. We want you to know that you can tell us anything and we will always support you. Always love you. Always want, more than anything in the world, for you to be happy. But we also want that for Raven. And the thought of moving to New York is not making her happy, Severine. Especially now. Whether you like it or not, Roggero is here and he genuinely wants to get to know his daughter. He seems truly sorry for the past. I have no idea where we all go from here, but please stop trying to fight us. Stop accusing us of not caring about you or your happiness. Because I can assure you, my darling, we do care. Possibly more than you could ever know.’ He coughed lightly. ‘There. I’ve said my piece. Why don’t you go and have a lie down? The inn is full and we didn’t know you were coming until yesterday, so you’re sharing Evie’s room, just like you did as children. Your mum will make a hearty lunch and when it’s ready, we’ll call you and we’ll all sit around this table and eat and chat, like the loving, happy family we are, deep down. Now go. And I don’t word to hear a word from anybody. No, Mum.’ He glared at Jessie. ‘Not even from you.’
Chapter Ten
Roggero Tazzeone watched his three children as they searched the evening and partywear section of the department store for something new to wear to Logan Dorset’s party that night. They were laughing, joking, teasing him and one another, and so far, were having the perfect day out shopping. He was treating them and had told them they could have whatever they liked, to which Raven had replied, ‘That’s pretty much everything in the store then.’ Roland had asked if he could have a new car instead and Juniper said she’d need to make a list and get back to him.
Roggero turned to them, laughing. ‘Anything in this department. To wear to the party. And perhaps one other thing each if you are all very well-behaved.’
‘Not much chance of that,’ said Roland, with a mischievous grin.
‘Hmm. That’s gonna be tough,’ Raven said, trying but failing to look serious. ‘I’m not that good at being well-behaved.’ She creased her brow. ‘Does a skirt and top count as one thing or two?’
‘That’s what I was going to ask,’ added Juniper, grinning and giving her half-sister a playful nudge.
‘Me too,’ said Roland, winking.
Roggero felt his chest swell with happiness. If anyone had been watching they would never have believed that this was anything other than a ‘normal’ family. A father and his children out to buy clothes for a special event. If he had harboured any lingering doubt before, he now knew for certain that for once in his life he had made the right decision to return to Michaelmas Bay after all his years away.
Not that he had actually given the matter much thought at the time. When that footage of the accident involving his son – and a daughter he hadn’t met – had aired on TVs the world over, it had felt as if the gods were sending him a personal message. “Get your backside off that stool and go and make amends with your children”. In that split second, he knew that was exactly what he had to do. What he wanted to do, more than anything in the world.
It had taken him a few minutes to physically get off the stool though. Seeing two of his children rescued from a freezing sea and his other daughter standing, terrified at the edge of the cliff was like watching a disaster movie – and he was glued to the TV. His heart thumped against his chest, his legs felt like lead and his feet, like gelato. He was sure if he stood up, he would fall over, so he sat on the stool at the coffee bar where, every day, he had his un caffè. He remained there open-mouthed, gaping at the small screen high on the wall opposite.
He heard himself order a grappa and un caffè doppio (a double espresso) despite the fact that he had just finished the first cup he’d ordered, and knocked both back within seconds. He remembered dialling a number and booking the first flight out of Rome to any London airport. But how he got to Snowflake Inn, or how long it had taken him, he wasn’t exactly certain. He spent the entire journey wondering and worrying about the reaction his sudden and unexpected arrival would have on everyone – not just his children.
His former partner, Sylvie was probably married to someone by now. Marriage was what she had always wanted but it was the one thing Roggero wasn’t prepared to give her. Their children, Juniper and Roland were adults now and might not welcome his return. Juniper would remember him. She had been in her teens when he left but Roland was a mere child of three. How would they feel, seeing him after almost sixteen years without contact? Angry, hurt, abandoned? Would they have it in their hearts to forgive him? And what about Raven, the daughter he had never met? How would she feel? Did she even know of his existence?
And then there was his ex-lover, Severine. Had she married? The report of the accident hadn’t mentioned her. It had only said that Raven, who had been staying at her grandparents’ inn, was taking part in an organised snowball fight, along with her friend Roland and several others when the accident occurred, and Raven and Roland had fallen over the cliff edge. Either the report had been limited on facts, or Raven had no idea that Roland was her brother. Half-brother to be precise. Had Severine kept that from them? And where was she? He would have spotted her stunning face amongst the crowd of onlookers. It would have stood out like a beacon in a storm.
A sudden and horrendous thought dawned on him. Had something happened to Severine?
To his complete surprise that thought was one he could not bear. To never see her face again. Those hazel eyes that burnt like glowing embers when she was cross and gleamed like warm amber when she was happy. And that hair, as soft and glossy as a ginger kitten’s … or perhaps a lion cub, would be more apt for memories of Severine. Would he never have a chance to see those pouting lips again? To kiss them into a smile. All he could think about was Severine and his children. His head ached with worry, his heart ached with pain, his body ached from lack of sleep and from sitting for hours on planes and trains and minicab seats.
When he had eventually arrived in Snowflake Cove, everyone was singing carols around the Christmas tree. He had scanned the small crowd for Severine but she wasn’t there. He saw Roland, and recognised him immediately. His son was a younger version of himself, like looking at an old photo. And Juniper, who had grown from a skinny teenager into a very pretty woman was the spitting image of her mother Sylvie, with just a hint of Roggero in her looks. Then he had seen Raven. Beautiful, like Severine but with his black hair colour, she was even more stunning in the flesh; he would know her anywhere.
Doubts and anxiety left him, replaced by a burning pride in his children and a fierce determination to protect them from any future harm. He would take whatever they threw at him with humility and repentance. He would give them all the time they might need to let him into their lives. If that took years for a mere fraction, it would be more than he probably deserved. He had the rest of his life to earn their forgiveness, even if he never earnt their love.
> But what of Severine? He had held back as long as he could. The Starrs were hurt, disappointed and angry when they realised he was Raven’s father. Juniper and Roland were bemused and cross. Raven was astonished, yet strangely happy. Sylvie was … furious. Asking about Severine had not seemed the wisest thing to do. But eventually he had to ask.
The news had been good and bad.
Severine was alive and well.
She was also engaged, pregnant and about to marry another man.
‘Dad? Dad?’ Raven gently poked his chest with her finger. She was laughing and smiling at him and wearing a dress that was far too sexy and revealing for a fifteen-year-old. ‘Are you day-dreaming? What do you think? I know you’re gonna say I’m too young to wear a dress like this, but I’m not, Dad. I’ll be sixteen soon. Old enough to have sex, get married and make babies.’
That truth took Roggero’s breath away for a second or two, as did the fact that Raven was going to be even more beautiful than her mother, Severine, when she grew to womanhood. But what gave him a lump in his throat was that after only a few short weeks, the daughter he abandoned before she was born was now calling him ‘Dad’ as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It made his heart fit to explode with delight and without thinking he reached out and hugged her to him, planting a fatherly kiss on the top of her head.
‘Get off, Dad.’ She laughed into his chest and didn’t try to move as she hugged him back. ‘You’re sooooo embarrassing at times.’
‘Bambina. I cannot help myself.’ He edged her away, smiling and tapped her nose with the tip of his finger. ‘The dress, it is beautiful.’ He nodded. ‘But you, you do not need such a thing. And this red, with your black hair.’ Shaking his head, he glanced over to Juniper. ‘Juniper. Help me. This colour is not good for Raven, I think. It makes her look much older than she is, no?’
Juniper creased her brows, tipped her head to one side and nodded. ‘Sorry, sis, but it drains the colour from your face. I have to agree with DadToo.’
DadToo was the name Juniper and Roland had decided to call Roggero. He was their birth father but Peter Green, the man who had married their mother Sylvie and brought them up as his own, was the man whom they now called Dad. Neither of them wanted to change that and Roggero understood. Sylvie – who still bore Roggero some resentment, although it was diminishing a little every day, had said that she could think of a few things they could call the man who had left them without a word. None of her suggestions were pleasant and a few weren’t fit to be repeated. After a considerable amount of discussion, some of which was heated, Juniper, Roland and Sylvie agreed that Roggero would be called, DadToo. Not two as in second, but too, as in also. Juniper and Roland had asked their dad Peter how he felt about it and Peter, being the wonderful man that he was, merely said that whatever they wanted to call Roggero was fine with him. Roggero thanked his lucky stars that after he had left, Sylvie had met and married Peter. It was possibly one of the most sensible things she had ever done, in his opinion.
Raven ran her hand over the tight-fitting red dress and looked a little disappointed.
‘Roland? What do you think?’
Her half-brother shrugged. ‘It makes you look like a tart. Don’t glare at me. You asked for my opinion. I gave it.’
‘Thanks a lot.’ Raven glanced at Juniper, then at her dad and back again to Juniper. ‘Does it? Do I look like a hooker?’
Juniper nodded. ‘Yeah. Sorry. You’ve got a fantastic figure but your boobs are half- hanging out of that.’
Roggero closed his eyes tight for a second. He was still struggling to come to terms with having two daughters, let alone two daughters who openly discussed sex, boobs and other parts of both the female and male anatomy. It was a completely new concept for him – and one he wasn’t yet entirely comfortable with.
He cleared his throat. ‘I liked the pink dress.’
‘Really? The first one I tried on? Don’t you think it was a bit too … girly?’
Roggero grinned. ‘You are a girl, no? Why is it not a good thing to be one?’
Roland smirked. ‘She wants to look like a bad-ass, or a sex-bomb, not a virginal school girl.’
‘What makes you so sure I’m a virgin?’
There was a sudden hush throughout the store as Raven’s words seemed to bounce off every wall, as if loud speakers boomed them out.
Raven blushed. ‘Sorry. That came out louder than I expected.’ She lowered her voice. ‘I am, Dad. In case you’re wondering.’ She glanced at him beneath her lashes, clearly seeking his approval. ‘I’ll go and try on the pink one again.’
‘Nice one, sis.’ Juniper grinned and nudged Raven’s arm as she headed back to the changing room. ‘Always good to give the parents something else to occupy their thoughts.’
Whether or not his fifteen-year-old daughter was a virgin was the last thing Roggero was ready to think about. But he was more than a little relieved that she had said she was. He would quite like her to remain that way until she was at least thirty. Sex could bring ecstasy and delight. It could also bring unexpected children. And that wasn’t always the wonderful news it should be. He knew from experience it could be devastating, life-changing and ultimately, heart-breaking for everyone concerned.
Chapter Eleven
‘Severine. Severine!’
Severine opened her eyes and was startled to see her sister, Evie standing beside the bed, grinning at her. It took several seconds to realise where she was.
‘Don’t look so horrified,’ Evie said. ‘Mum sent me up to tell you lunch is ready. She’s dishing it up in about five minutes so that’s how long you’ve got if you want to splash some water on your face. And you might want to comb your hair.’
Severine struggled to sit up. Having been awoken from a deep sleep, she was drowsy and muddle-headed. Stifling a yawn, she stretched her arms out either side.
‘I was dreaming about Harvey. I thought I was in New York … until I saw your ugly mug.’ She grinned up at Evie, who tutted as she turned away.
‘Yeah, yeah. You’re just jealous.’ Evie stopped at the door and nodded. ‘It’s good to have you back here, despite the fact that you’re as unpleasant as ever.’
‘Evie?’ Severine called after her.
‘Yes.’
‘Has he …’ Severine fiddled with the trim of the duvet. ‘Has he changed?’
‘Who? Roggero?’ Evie walked back towards the bed and sat on the edge. ‘In looks, no, not much. He’s older of course and he’s got a touch of grey at his temple and the sides but he still looks young for his age. And he’s as handsome as ever. In personality I’d say he’s had a complete transformation. Travelling the world must have done him good. He told us he’s been living and working all over the place and had only recently settled in Rome. But now he’s looking for a house in Michaelmas Bay. He really wants to make amends to Juniper and Roland. And he genuinely cares about Raven and wants to get to know her.’
‘How lovely for him.’
Evie looked her in the eye. ‘Are you annoyed that he’s still handsome, that he’s back, or that he’s spending time with his kids?’
Severine jumped up and marched towards the en suite. ‘I’m annoyed that he’s been traipsing all over the globe whilst I was struggling to bring up his daughter without so much as a word or a penny from him.’
‘Yes. Sylvie Green said almost the same thing. And to his face.’
‘At least he left Sylvie with the house. He left me with nothing.’
Evie made a choking sound and Severine leant backwards from the sink to get a look at her sister’s face.
‘What?’
Evie shook her head. Wild, ginger hair danced around her shoulders but the expression on her freckled face was now serious.
‘He left you with Raven. She may not have seemed like a gift at the time, but she is. And I hate to point this out, Severine, but Sylvie deserved the house. She deserved a lot more. She’d been paying towards the mortgage and it was the
family home they’d been living in for seventeen or so years. Besides, he didn’t exactly leave it to her, don’t forget. He simply walked out one day and never came back.’
‘That’s the same thing.’
Evie shook her head again. ‘No it’s not. It’s absolutely not! Sorry. But you know the hell Sylvie went through. She spent enough time here in floods of tears. Even you couldn’t help but notice that. Although now that I think about it, you did always seem to disappear whenever she came over with Juniper and Roland. Did you feel guilty? Is that why?’
‘I know she was very upset, but it wasn’t my fault.’
‘Not your fault! How can you say that? You’d been having an affair with the man she loved, Severine.’
‘Roggero didn’t love her anymore. He said he wasn’t sure he ever had. And I was as upset as she was.’
‘But she’d built a life with him. Had kids with him. Washed and cooked and cleaned for him. You were having sex with him as if none of that mattered. Although none of us knew that at the time, did we? We only found out at Christmas. That was a surprise, let me tell you. A huge surprise as surprises go. And we had a few of those at Christmas.’ Evie folded her arms in front of her. ‘You shouldn’t have lied about it. You should’ve told us all the truth. At least Raven deserved to know who her father was. Have you any idea how she felt when he turned up and it all came out? Have you actually talked to her about it?’
‘Yes, I’ve talked to her. Of course I have. But she always cuts me short and says something like, ‘Whatever, Mum. We’ll discuss it when you come home.’ You know what she can be like.’
Evie’s mouth fell open. ‘What she can …! I don’t believe you, Severine. You really haven’t changed one iota. I thought that now you were in love and about to get married – and expecting another child – you might have mellowed a bit. That maybe you’d think about someone else before yourself. Try to see things from another person’s point of view. But no. You’re still the same old Severine.’
Blame it on the Moonlight Page 5
