by Meg Ripley
“I’m not avoiding you,” Mari protested, but she couldn’t meet his eyes.
“What’s going on? Have I done something to offend you?”
“No, of course not.”
“Is it your parents?”
“Well, no.” Anna clearly wasn’t a fan of Dean, but she hadn’t told Marisol to stay away from him again after he came to the truck.
“Then what is it, Mari? If I’ve done something wrong, I’d at least like the chance to fix it.”
“It’s nothing. You haven’t done anything wrong, Dean. You’re...you’re great. It’s just that…”
“It’s just that what?”
“You’re going to win tonight.”
Dean blinked down at her. “Maybe I will. So what?”
“So...then you’ll have your card. You’ll be leaving. Maybe you’ll come back next year for the Fourth, or maybe you’ll be in Utah or Nevada or Colorado.”
Dean frowned. “So you haven’t talked to me in three days because you’re mad that I might leave?”
She shook her head. “I’m not mad. I haven’t talked to you in three days because...because it’s already going to hurt too much to see you go. Besides, I...I want….”
“What do you want?”
Mari took a deep breath. “I want you, but my parents would definitely freak out if they ever knew that we were more than just friends. It’s probably best that we just remain friends, but I don’t know if I can stand it...stand seeing you and wanting you and—”
Marisol’s explanation was cut off sharply by the pressure of Dean’s mouth against hers. She immediately succumbed to the kiss, grateful for the chance to touch him. She gripped his muscled arms with hungry fingers, pressing herself against his body as he deepened the kiss, exploring and claiming her mouth. The warmth from the sun was like an arctic blast compared to the heat coming off his body, and she melted into him like wax over an open flame. By the time he lifted his head, she was dizzy with desire. She never wanted to let him go.
“Let me make a few things clear to you. First, I will see you tonight after the rodeo. I intend to win and when I do, I intend to collect on that kiss. Second, even if I win and ride on the pro circuit, I’ll come back here. Often. You’re not going to get away from me that easily. And third, Mari, honey, we’re not just friends. I don’t think we will ever be just friends again. But if you don’t want me, you need to tell me now.”
“I want you.”
“And I’ll see you tonight?”
She nodded, her mouth dry from need and excitement. “I’ll be the first thing you see after you win.”
“Good. Now that we’ve got that settled, let’s enjoy the rest of the day.” He looped his arm around her waist and pulled her close; he didn’t intend to let her go until it was time to crawl on back of a bull. Mari couldn’t help but smile and fit herself against the side of his body. She’d never felt more at home in her life.
****
Climbing up on the back of a bull had never been easy; it wasn’t easy Dean’s first time, and it never got better. As he hovered over the massive beast, his splayed legs just an inch from the solid wall of muscle, he tried to clear his mind of everything but the reality of the bull. He didn’t think about the fact that he held his own destiny in his hands; that this ride could change his life. He didn’t think about the crowd, or how strangely silent they were as they waited for the chute gate to open. He didn’t think about Marisol—though he knew she was watching and there was a special pleasure in that knowledge—and he didn’t think about all the rides that came before this. That moment—in all the world—only the bull, Red Bantam, mattered.
He settled onto Red Bantam’s back, wrapping his right hand in the rope. The beast was vibrating, and Dean knew from the second they touched that he would be in for one hell of a ride. There was nothing but power between his legs—big, primordial, furious power. He would never tame that power. No person could ever truly harness it, but he had his own deep well of power, and he could draw on that to meet the bull buck for buck, twist for twist. The rides only lasted eight seconds, but in those eight seconds he felt more alive, more like himself, than any other time. When he was on back of one of nature’s meanest behemoths, his own dual nature merged into one. More than a man. Not just an animal. He could meet the bull on its own terms and he could emerge victorious.
Dean nodded, giving the signal that his tie was secure and his mind was ready. The gate opened to the loud buzzer, and Dean was suddenly five feet in the air. The bull leapt from the chute and came down with a bone-jarring thud. Dean gritted his teeth together and kept his left hand high in the air, his spine arched back. The bull bucked both its back legs out, slammed his head back, and arched up into the air. Dean focused on the back of the animal’s head, the crowd an impossible blur around him, all sound fading except the beat of his own heart counting down eight seconds.
The bull spun in a furious circle, all four hooves leaving the ground before it bucked its back legs. Dean’s muscles strained to resist the G-force generated by the bull, his core pulling tight to keep him upright. He felt the strength of the bear surge through his frame, keeping him locked in place as the bull twisted and jumped and fought. Adrenaline flooded his system and time slowed to a crawl. Even the bull seemed to be moving at half its regular speed, and the certainty that he was where he belonged, that he had already won, spread through him with a calming warmth.
Things didn’t start to go wrong until after the buzzer sounded his eight seconds. He pulled on the rope to free his hand, but the knot didn’t loosen. The bull didn’t care that the eight seconds were over—Red Bantam just wanted the cowboy off his back. It doubled down on its earlier attempts, bucking harder, its sides heaving furiously.
Ernie appeared in a flash of red and yellow, trying to distract the bull long enough to give Burt a chance to free Dean. They only needed a second or two; as long as the bull stopped bucking, Dean could make his escape.
But the bull could not be distracted from the irritating weight on his back, and Ernie’s attempts only seemed to enrage it. A bull rider learns early on never to panic, and Dean remained calm as he tried to untangle himself, forcing himself to ignore the real danger he was in.
“Come on, kid,” Ernie shouted, jumping forward to grab the rope. He gave it a good tug and the tension eased from Dean’s wrist, giving him the chance to throw himself from the animal. Just as he hit the ground, he heard the crowd give a collective gasp of fear, and he crawled from the spinning bull as fast as he could, turning over on his back to see that the bull wasn’t anywhere near him.
It was circling Ernie.
Ernie, who was down on the ground and not moving.
Within seconds, the bull hooked its horns under Ernie and tossed him in the air like a rag doll. He fell back to the arena dirt, seemingly lifeless as the bull spun around, pawing the ground. Dean knew the bull would go back again for a second attempt, and a third, and a fourth, until he was finally satisfied that the interloper was dead. Red Bantam ignored Burt altogether, lowering his head and preparing to charge.
Dean had about two seconds to think over his options. He knew he just put in the best ride of his life. He knew he won. He had no doubt that the purse was his, and with that purse came the opportunity to take on the best bulls in the world. After years of barely getting by—of amateur rodeos, injuries, loneliness, pain, and hard work—his dreams were finally in reach.
He also knew that if he didn’t do something right then, Ernie would die.
Dean only had two seconds to make his decision, but in truth, there was only one choice he could ever make. He jumped to his feet and sprang forward, letting go of the reins that kept the bear in check. Now fully shifted, Dean landed between Ernie and the charging bull, roaring a warning. The bull turned at the last second, dodging Dean and sprinting to the end of the arena. When Red Bantam reached the fence, he reared around without stopping, lowering his head as he prepared to attack.
Dea
n remained standing on his hind legs, holding his ground in the face of the charging bull. He swung his massive paw at the great head just before the horns reached his hide, knocking the bull to the side with so much force that it stumbled and nearly fell. But the animal was graceful despite his great size, and found his balance before turning on Dean once again.
Red Bantam’s second attempt was more successful than the first, its right horn piercing Dean’s left side. He growled with pain and swiped at the bull again, his claws digging through the bull’s thick hide. Red Bantam bawled in fury, the blood dripping down his side doing nothing to slow his attack. The bull kicked its back leg out, connecting solidly with Dean’s hip, but he was past the point of feeling any pain; now the blows from the bull were just vibrations. The scent of blood drove him into a rage, and he could sense he was losing himself completely to his animal instincts, but he found himself helpless in the face of controlling them.
He hit the bull again with his claws, tearing at the animal’s snout, ripping his flesh like it was made of tissue paper. Blinded, the bull bawled again as he slammed his horns into Dean’s side, hooking his head upward. Twin rivers of blood gushed from Dean, but he used the bull’s close proximity to his advantage, attacking with sharp teeth and claws in a frenzy until the bull twisted away and leapt out of reach.
Burt and the other bull fighters jumped into action. The bull was losing steam as he lost blood, and the men were able to herd him towards the open gate. EMTs raced into the arena as soon as they were given the all-clear, and the sheriff’s deputies were hot on their heels. Dean saw them approach but didn’t realize what they intended to do until it was too late: the three deputies fired at the same time, shooting tranq darts into his thigh, side, and neck.
Dean roared once and everything went black.
****
Marisol couldn’t stop shaking. Her fingers trembled so badly, she couldn’t hold the cup of coffee her mother had thrust into her hand. Her legs couldn’t support her weight, and her head ached from the force of clenching her jaw.
But she didn’t cry. Not a single tear.
In fact, her face felt entirely drained of moisture. Her lips were chapped, her skin was tight, and her eyes felt like they were full of sand. She had no idea how long she sat in the ER lobby, joining her mother’s nearly silent but constant prayers.
The night had gone from a dream come true to a nightmare in the space of a heartbeat. She’d been clapping and cheering with everybody else when the bull caught her father by his horn and flipped him into the air. Mari’s cheer had turned into a scream and she began crawling up the six-foot-high fence, all thoughts of safety forgotten. She didn’t know exactly what her plan was, only that she needed to get to her father before the bull did. The only thing that stopped her from scaling the fence and bolting into the arena was the sight of Dean transforming from the man she knew into a beast greater than anything she’d ever witnessed.
She still couldn’t believe he had shifted in front of the grandstands. In front of the judges. In front of everybody. He knew—better than anybody—the consequences of exposure, and yet he hadn’t hesitated. He’d acted immediately and he saved her dad’s life. How could she ever thank him? How could she ever repay him for the sacrifice he made?
Ernesto was in surgery all night. The bull’s horn had grazed his spleen, but the surgeon was able to repair the damage and had assured Anna that he was stable and resting. “You will probably be able to visit tomorrow afternoon,” the surgeon had said before encouraging Anna and Mari to go home and get some sleep. But they had an unspoken agreement to stay right where they were.
Mari knew her mother would never leave his side, and she herself wouldn’t dream of going home. Not until there was word on Dean. The tranquilizers had knocked him out, but it was the vicious hole in his side that kept him bedridden and unconscious.
“You should go get some rest,” Anna said when Marisol tried, and failed, to drink her coffee. She set the cup down on the end table and clutched her fingers in her lap, doing her best to disguise the endless shaking.
“I’ll stay here.”
“Mari, you’re exhausted.”
She shook her head. “I’m fine.”
“You heard the doctor. Your father is in stable condition and he would want you to take care of yourself.”
Mari shook her head again. She would not leave the hospital.
“If you’re staying because of that bull rider—”
“ ‘That bull rider’? Would you listen to yourself? His name is Dean, Mother, and in case you’ve forgotten, he saved Daddy’s life.”
“I haven’t forgotten. I also haven’t forgotten that he’s a bear.”
“So am I!” Mari exclaimed.
“Shh, lower your voice.”
“Nobody’s paying any attention to us, Mama. If you don’t want to talk about it, then we don’t have to. But don’t try to act like he’s some...something evil.”
“It frightens me,” Anna said softly. “It frightens me to think of you falling in love with a bull rider. It frightens me to think about what your life will be like with a bear. It frightens me to think about your life as a bear.”
“Well, it scares me, too, Mama. But fighting isn’t going to help us. We need to stick together. We need to be a family.” She took her mother’s hand, noticing for the first time how the skin on the back was loose and beginning to wrinkle.
“Your father was a bull rider. Did you know that?”
“What? No one ever told me that! I thought he was always just a bull fighter…”
“He just got his pro card when we started dating. I thought he was so handsome and so brave. I’d seen a lot of other cowboys, but I never saw anything like him. I was...enchanted. Sound familiar?”
“Yes, but I don’t understand. You love Daddy. You’ve always been happy with him. Why would you want to keep me away from Dean?”
“Because the very first rodeo after he turned pro, a bull by the name of Strawberry Wine threw your Daddy about twenty feet. When he landed, he hit his head and he spent a week in the hospital, unconscious.” Anna shook her head. “It was the longest week of my life. The doctors couldn’t say if he’d even wake up again, much less the state he’d be in. They warned me he might not even know who I am. That same week, I discovered I was pregnant with you. I don’t ever want you to go through what I went through.” She waved her head, gesturing at the hospital lobby. “You shouldn’t ever know what this...this feeling is like.”
“I know, Mama, but you can’t protect me from...from pain or from fear or unhappiness. That’s just life.”
“Marisol?”
“Yes?” She swung her head around, surprised to see Waldo coming towards her. “Oh, is Dean awake?”
“Yes, and he’s asking for you.” Waldo smiled at Anna and tipped his hat. “Ma’am. How’s Ernie?”
“The doctors said he will make a full recovery,” Anna said, her voice a little stiff. She closed her fingers around Mari’s hand, squeezing it tightly.
“Mama, I’ve got to go,” Mari said gently.
Anna nodded and released her. “I’ll be here,” she said, with a small, watery smile.
Mari fell into step beside Waldo. “How is he? Is he going to be okay?”
“He should make a full recovery. Whether or not he’ll be okay?” Waldo shrugged. “That’s tougher to say.”
“Why? What do you mean?”
“You’ll see.”
Dean was on the same floor of the hospital as Ernie, and they reached his door before she had fully prepared herself mentally or emotionally. He was sitting up in bed, his ribs and stomach wrapped in a tight bandage. He had a bruise on his cheek and his eye was swollen, but besides that, he seemed unscathed. He smiled as she stepped into the room, and though he’d smiled at her countless times before, this one set her heart into a gallop.
“I think somebody owes me a kiss.”
“I owe you more than that.”
He he
ld out his hand. She took it and he pulled her to him with surprising strength. He used his other hand to hold the back of her head, guiding her mouth to his before she could even take a breath. As soon as their lips touched, the knots in her stomach began to untwist themselves and the fear and stress she’d been carrying melted away. He was fine. He was safe. He was holding her and kissing her and everything would be okay.
Waldo coughed an ‘I’m-still-standing-here’ cough, and Dean smiled against her lips. “I’m so happy to see you.”
“Not as happy as I am to see you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Mari. It was the right thing to do.”
Waldo snorted. “Are you kidding me?”
“Shut up, Waldo.”
“You ruined your career.”
Mari pulled back. “What are you talking about? Dean, what is he talking about?”
“Well, I had the best ride of the night and I won the event. But the rep from the PRA has already been by to tell me they’ll give me my purse, but I won’t be welcome at any future events.”
“What? They can’t do that!”
Dean shrugged. “Sure, they can. Their rules, not mine.”
“But that’s not fair! What do they think you’re going to do? Go on a rampage and eat the horses?”
“He did mention the safety of the animals. And the spectators.”
“Yeah, it’s not fair, but also the least of his worries. The sheriff has been by, too,” Waldo said.
“The sheriff? What did he want?” Mari knew what he wanted, and her heart sank to the bottom of her shoes. “He blames you, doesn’t he? He thinks you killed those people.”
“He wants to have a chat about it after they release me.”
“A chat! They’re going to take you into custody,” Waldo said hotly. “And knowing these backwoods jackasses, they’ll probably have you tried, convicted, and hung by dinner time.”
Mari shook her head. “No. No, I’m not going to let that happen. You’re innocent and that’s what you’re going to tell the sheriff.”
