He lied from the beginning.
But not about the important stuff. Not about her.
Not about their date. But why would she believe him now? He knew, more than anyone, how difficult it was to separate lies from truths.
She wanted to play her games that night and he was the biggest gambler, hoping she’d get lost in the act as well. Kissing her would have pushed them past pretend.
With the gang so close to the treasure and to Jenny, Jason couldn’t chance her safety – even if that meant he lost a lot of ground with her on the romantic front. Clearing their names would come, too, but not if she was killed or kidnapped. Her well-being had to come first.
Unfortunately, his other goals had to be pushed to the forefront as well. If he didn’t push her to meet with her sisters, they might never have another chance to redeem their names or get rid of the Caracus gang remnants.
In seconds, Jenny appeared on the stairs, her backpack swinging from one shoulder. The box from Redbirds’ secured in her arms. The pink glow from their date had disappeared, replaced with bright spots of irritation on her cheeks.
She ignored him as she brushed by, only stopping at the car where she opened the door and climbed inside. And slammed it shut.
So much for handling things well.
Following her lead minus the slamming, Jason got into the car and started the engine. Pulling onto the road, he held his gaze forward.
Oh, her anger came off her in waves of spiky hostility. The uncomfortable silence lengthened and Jason didn’t even chance turning on the radio. He stared into the moonlit night, his headlights illuminating fences and the yellow line in the middle of the road.
Why she was angry was obvious, but he didn’t know how to explain the circumstances of chasing her for so long? Or the need to protect her from her own kin in a gang without coming across as more of a jerk than he already did. Not to mention that he had to clear their names and his plan to accomplish so much while making her fall in love with him. No it would be too much to confess all at once.
A simple apology might work, but…
He had nothing to lose. “I’m sorry they showed up like that. I didn’t want our date to end quite so abruptly.” He glanced at her, trying to keep his emotions from painting his face with worry.
She whirled to face him, anger burning in her eyes. “Our date? Really? Why do you even care how that ended? You didn’t want to be there, I made you. Stop pretending it was anything more than a pity date.” She lifted her hand when he tried to protest. “No, just no. When were you going to tell me about Bear Claw and the rest of the gang members?”
He shrugged lamely. “Eventually. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to.”
“Are you serious? And now I find out you have a map? What, like a treasure map from Devlyn himself?” She slapped her thigh, the sound muffled by her jeans. “So what’s the game? Why do you even need me or the others?” She stared at him for a long moment, like she wanted to read his face, but didn’t know how.
He sighed. He could tell her enough to keep her on his side, keep her safe, enough that he didn’t completely destroy his chances with her. “I don’t know which of you girls can read the map. I’m hoping, if I can get all five of you in the same spot, maybe you can work together to read it. If not all of you, at least Mary and you. You are the only ones with good memories of Devlyn – even if yours were half good and half bad.”
Jason couldn’t take the bitterness twisting her lips. He couldn’t explain why he needed Jenny, why he searched years for her, more and more heartbroken every time he got close enough to catch glimpses of her in surveillance cameras or touch the wrapper of something she left behind.
As much as he wanted to share, she wasn’t completely trustworthy herself. She was only with him because she wanted her car back and had no money. He didn’t want to explain his need for her when he wasn’t certain she needed him beyond the immediate necessities.
“Don’t you want to see your sisters?” He asked quietly, like he might scare her with the question. Jenny ran when she was afraid and in the car there was nowhere to go. Unless, she threw open the door and jumped.
Jenny shrugged, crossing her arms, as if resigned to the ride with him. She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Not really.”
Her answer startled him. “Are you being honest? Because that doesn’t make sense. They’re family. Your blood.”
She scoffed, shaking her head, the blonde tresses falling about her shoulders. Moonlight reflected on the hair closest to the window. “No. They’re related by DNA. That’s not solid enough for me. Not anymore.”
“Jenny.” He waited until she looked at him, even fleetingly. He alternated his glances between her and the road. “You’ve been alone for so long, you might like needing someone in your life. Let them in. At least try.” Look at him trying to convince someone else to accept others. What a hypocrite he’d become.
But she was the only one he wanted. The only one he cared about. If having her sisters might make her feel safe, comforted, loved, then he would do everything he could to help her get there. Even if it meant pushing her in ways he didn’t want to.
Clenching her jaw, Jenny glared at Jason and growled through her teeth. “The last time I needed someone, he drank himself cruel. I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t help him.” She choked on her words, but pressed forward through the tears glistening on her cheeks. “I failed him.” She shook her head. “No. I don’t need anyone. Loving people gets them hurt. Gets me hurt.”
The road shoulder was tight, but with sparse traffic, Jason didn’t care. He pulled over and parked. Turning to face her, Jason took a moment to absorb what she said.
He couldn’t understand why she thought Devlyn’s cruelty was her fault. Maybe she didn’t have enough of the story. She couldn’t see everything the way he saw it. “No. Devlyn was cruel before. You never saw it because Ellsbeth tempered him.”
Eyes blazing, Jenny twisted toward him. “What are you talking about? It’s my fault he did the things he did.”
Jason swallowed. He had to tell her. He had to bare himself to help her see. The pain from all those years ago trickled toward him, slowly at first until they rushed over him like a rampaging river. He closed his eyes, squeezing them tight while struggling to control his breathing.
“No.” The word dragged from him, but the sound snapped him loose from the torment he hadn’t been able to let go.
He sat up straighter, unwilling to bend to the fear and helplessness of the nine-year-old boy he’d been. “Do you remember when my mom died?”
The question cooled Jenny’s heat and she sank into the car seat. Her nod came with questions widening her eyes. “Yes. It was awful. Mom cried for days.”
Jason nodded. Grateful he wasn’t the only one who mourned his beautiful mother. “Devlyn came to our house often. He and my dad,” Jason didn’t even spit the word anymore. He had grown cold long ago to the idea of the man who sired him. “He and my dad took turns beating my mom when they couldn’t get out of town.”
Eyes wide with horror, she watched him, waiting, as if knowing there was more.
Glancing to the side, into a far off memory, Jason’s words came slower like he didn’t believe them. “One night, after dinner, Devlyn was over and they were talking about their next big score. Mom offered them coffee. Dad blew up, said she was interrupting them. Called her names. That was his trigger. The names. When he used them on Mom, he was telling Devlyn it was okay to start hitting her.” He stopped. His chest tight. He had never spoken of it. Not to anyone. Not to the cops who showed up for a few minutes and certainly not to anyone in the gang.
No one would help.
They’d worshiped Devlyn. They still worshipped him.
Jenny reached across the space between them and clutched at his hand. Fresh tears sparkled in her eyes.
“But Devlyn reached behind him and pulled me forward. I usually watched from the corner. He didn’t want me to watch. Devlyn wanted to hur
t me, too. So he hit me. And my mom fought back. She grabbed a knife from the table and stabbed Devlyn’s arm and swung wildly at my father. She pushed me behind her.” Her sobs and screams rent his memory, echoing into the darkness outside the car.
Her soft hair had brushed his face. Her subtle, comforting perfume had seemed so strong for a brief second. “Mijo, you have to run.”
“I got out. I ran.” Tears broke free from the dam he built as a man to protect the child he had once been. “I left her there to them. She told me to run. And I did. But…” Sobs shook his shoulders and he leaned forward. Oh, Mom, why did I leave you? Why?
Caressing his arm and upper shoulder, Jenny didn’t say anything. Like she understood the need to just have someone there. Someone who survived similar circumstances.
After a drawn out moment, his jagged cry subsided and he stored that pain away again. Jason drew in a ragged breath and continued, small gasps intermingling with his words. “The cops found me the next morning. I had hidden in the dumpster behind a small café. They told me my mom was dead and I had to go home.”
A burst of cold, humorless laugh burst from him. “When I got back to that house, Devlyn was still there. He and my father didn’t even look at me when I came in. In fact, I don’t remember any acknowledgement from either of them after that. Like I died with her.” He shrugged. His dad had never touched him again. “When I found out my dad died on the road somewhere – a gambling fight or something – I didn’t even stop doing my homework. His death didn’t matter. It seemed… justified. And Devlyn. When he died in prison?” Jason didn’t have the words.
They sat together, the hum of the engine rumbling softly and the occasional whir of a car passing on the highway. Glowing digital lights gave the car a personal intimacy they hadn’t achieved even on their date.
With his barriers down, Jason had little to fight his longing for Jenny with.
She bit her lip, tears flowing down her cheeks. “You must hate me. My dad and what he did… I’m surprised you were friends with me after. I would have wanted revenge. I would have been so mad, so angry.” Her voice trailed off as she considered him. “Is that what you’re doing this for? You want to control the treasure to get revenge?” But she didn’t have an accusatory tone. Instead, it was like she offered him an out, a way to save face. To get back at Devlyn and all his actions.
But the realities couldn’t be escaped. “No, it’s no ploy. I just wanted you to understand that Devlyn’s actions and the creature he became weren’t because of you or anything you did. He was always like that. I could never hate you, I love you… After all we’ve been through together.” His emotions poured from him before he could clamp his mouth shut.
Her eyes didn’t hide her dismay.
Jason pushed forward, angry at his breakdown and that the first time he said he loved her hadn’t been received the way he hoped. But he was angrier that he didn’t seem to have gotten through to her. He cleared his throat. “You said we could work together, but you’re holding back.”
“And you were being forthcoming? Map and all, huh?” Jenny’s wall could almost be visibly brought back up as she refolded her arms and clamped her lips shut.
“What do you mean?” The stupid map wasn’t even worth anything and he knew it. He kept the paper, hoping maybe one day he could use it to lure Jenny out. Maybe she’d want it for sentimental purposes. Since he couldn’t read it, the map might as well be garbage. “Sounds like a hypocritical accusation, don’t you think? I know you’re not telling me everything. Trying to distract me with a ‘date’, right? Confuse me or something?”
He didn’t believe his accusation, but he had to test her. Had to see how far she was willing to go.
Could he bear it, if she really faked everything tonight? Maybe she felt their chemistry as well. It wasn’t possible that he could be so drawn to her and she remained impervious to the pull.
Hurt crossed her face at his words and then her features hardened. She thrust a finger his direction, the pale shape of her hand highlighted by green lighting from the dash. “Drive. I want this over with. Now.”
“Fine.” Jason shifted into drive and pulled onto the road, forgetting to check for cars. Thankfully, not another soul could be seen in the pitch black of night. “And we’re including the others in this. They deserve to know what’s going on.” They weren’t to blame for who their father had been.
Just like the blame didn’t fall on Jason’s shoulders for being a Mendez.
Jenny stared out the window. She didn’t even grunt that she heard him.
He already regretted their fight. He wanted to reach over and kiss her. Hold her.
But vulnerability wasn’t his thing and he’d been more raw with Jenny than with anyone – even himself.
And she still might try to screw him over.
Chapter 17
Jenny
Jenny’s chest ached. She’d never been close enough with anyone for a long enough period of time to fight with them.
Being from her past, Jason held the distinct disadvantage of being the only person she felt any closeness to. With the rush of feelings from when she cared about him as a child combining with her adult emotions, she couldn’t avoid the sting of his declaration of loving her like a friend. Because of all they’d been through together.
No one would say that, except a friend.
Plus, her vulnerability level hadn’t lowered since she reunited with him the previous morning. Confusion blocked any strategizing and she couldn’t figure out how to get her plans back on track.
Why did she see his face every time she tried picturing where she would go next? Or what she would do? Or when she thought about where she wanted to settle down?
Everything pulled his face to the forefront.
But right then, in the car, surrounded by the darkness of night and the cocoon of the vehicle, she also could picture slapping his face for treating her like a manipulative woman.
If she let his accusations about their night ruin her memories of her first date, she would never forgive herself.
She leaned her forehead onto the cool glass, fogging the window with her breath.
Why did she feel like she was being forced into seeing Devlyn’s other kids? She didn’t want to. She wasn’t ready. They wouldn’t like her, and why would they? She didn’t think she’d like them. They were probably spoiled, or maybe greedy. They wanted the treasure, of course, because that’s what everyone wanted.
Jenny didn’t have anything else to offer them, and when she didn’t give that over, they wouldn’t want anything to do with her.
Okay, putting aside what they might think of her or what they wanted from her, she’d be lying if she didn’t admit she was slightly curious. She didn’t want to be, but look at how fast she was falling for Jason – obviously, she didn’t have control on her emotions right then.
How had they grown up? No matter what Jason said, Jenny couldn’t shake the feeling she was at least partly to blame for how Devlyn turned out.
And could Devlyn really have been so cruel before Mom died? Memories of how he treated the neighborhood cats and dogs surfaced, along with the boiling rage barely under the surface some days.
Ellsbeth always calmed him down, but the ruddy color of his skin and the darkness in his eyes only dimmed, never disappeared.
Before she saw him at his worst, Jenny wouldn’t have believed Jason’s words. But Devlyn revealed too much of himself before she ran away. She could believe anything bad of him.
Would any of the other girls have any memories of Devlyn they would want to share? Or would they want to talk strictly about the treasure?
Jenny couldn’t stop herself from stealing glances at Jason as he drove. Taking an exit, he steered the car over a long expanse of frontage road and around another turn. His strong hands gripped the wheel as they passed fencing and fields, which faded into the black outside of the headlight ring. He turned onto a driveway framed by an arch.
Stomach
in knots, Jenny sat up, leaning forward. Were any of the sisters expecting them? Would they be outside waiting?
As Jenny and Jason approached the rancher-style home and parked outside the barn, Jenny’s anxiety increased. No one came out to greet them.
Her fear of rejection paled right then. What if she didn’t even get the chance to be rejected? What if she didn’t even have enough importance to be seen?
With all the porch lights on and a few glowing from inside, Jenny couldn’t even convince herself anyone was in bed and didn’t know they were there.
Of course they knew.
Jason climbed from the car, silent.
Panic climbed up Jenny’s back as she realized she and Jason weren’t speaking and she didn’t know anyone at the Rourke Ranch. She drew her shoulders up to her ears and hunched over her crossed arms. “Come on, Jenny, get it together.” Her murmur so soft, she barely heard herself.
Rewarding Redemption Page 8
