by Vivian Arend
Nick nodded. “We know the signs, what to watch for, what to ignore. Right now, it’s the humans getting riled up. All the bears who have arrived in the past couple days? They’re behaving, but bears usually do. They like things orderly. Riots in the streets aren’t their style, not unless they’ve been drinking.”
The commotion quieted again. Shaun spoke before he could think it through. “Call me if you need help.”
Nick eyed him with suspicion. “You looking for a new pack?”
Shit. “I’m not trying to take over or move up your ranks. Just a friendly offer is all.”
Sheer disbelief painted Nick’s expression. “Right.”
Fuck it. Shaun rose and gave the other wolf a curt nod. He paced away, his mood increasingly foul.
How the hell could he convince Gem he was serious about being there for her when others pointed out so well he didn’t know how to give unselfishly.
The boardwalk creaked under his feet, puffs of dust rising as he stomped his way down the street. Fine. Unselfish. What was the most unselfish thing he could think of to do?
Two complete revolutions of Main Street later he finally acknowledged the one obvious idea that wasn’t totally crazy. Find out what was up with the bears. Nick wasn’t that high up the ranks in Dawson, so it was stupid expecting him to know if real trouble was brewing. Shaun needed to speak with the actual leaders, maybe offer Takhini’s support—it couldn’t hurt. He wondered momentarily if Evan would kick his ass for making the suggestion without checking in first.
Probably. Shit.
The memory of Gem’s beautiful eyes staring at him with admiration… Shaun was ready to sell a bit of his soul to make her look at him like that all the time. It made his skin crawl, but he did it anyway. He hauled out his cell phone and called Evan.
“Moonshine Mayhem, director of Chaos speaking.”
Shaun snorted. “Director, you got that right. Hey, why you being your own answering service? Where’s Caroline?”
“Making a run down to the police station to bail out a few of the pack.”
“No shit. Really? What they do?” Shaun paused to watch a taxi empty. Four bear shifters in fancy suits made their way up the stairs of the Grand Hotel, the valets rushing to bring in their cases.
“Got in a brawl down at the pizza parlour with a bunch of visiting bears. I let them cool their heels overnight before posting bail. Those boys are in for some hard labour when I get my hands on them.” Evan spoke softly, but even Shaun heard the displeasure in his voice. Irreverent, yes, but his Alpha didn’t tolerate the pack breaking his rules.
“Speaking of bears, that’s why I’m calling. Dawson is overrun with them. You know anything about what’s happening?”
Evan chuckled. “I know everything, man. It’s politics. Every so many years—and no one seems to know exactly how many—the bears meet to redistribute territory and such. Their hierarchy is way more formal than the way we wolves do things. They vote and shit.”
No way. “Like, no beating each other up or ripping out throats for leadership? They vote on bits of paper and that decides the leaders?”
“Barbaric, isn’t it?”
“Totally.” They both laughed hysterically for a moment. Shaun took a deep breath. This stopping-being-Peter-Pan was tough. “Okay, level with me. If I suggested to the Dawson pack Takhini’s got their back, would you agree or should I start running for Siberia?”
Dead silence greeted him. “Shaun, did I just hear you make a considered, grown-up suggestion all on your own?”
“Fuck you.”
“Not really interested in swinging that way, darling. You should be getting enough from Gem—oh, wait a minute. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You trying to impress your new lady?”
His Alpha was far too close to the mark. Shaun resumed pacing the boardwalk. “I repeat, fuck you.”
Evan laughed at him. “Aren’t you supposed to be guiding your mate somewhere into the bush for the next couple weeks? Is this like last fall when you caused all kinds of mischief and then took off?”
Shaun growled. “Hardly. Last year I purposely hid so you couldn’t order me to tell you where I’d taken my friends for a little private R&R. This go-round I have to leave, which is why I suggested Takhini as a backup, not just me.”
“So last year you flaunted my authority, this time you’re asking for permission?”
The answer stuck in his throat. “Argh. Um, maybe.”
Evan crowed. “Sweet. You beg so well…” Shaun opened his mouth, “…and don’t bother to tell me to fuck anything.”
Bastard.
His Alpha continued, all humour and joking vanished. “Here’s the deal. Tell them we’re available if they need us. I’ve got three other outlying packs that owe me favours. If trouble arises, Dawson can call. Rumor is the first stages of the bears’ meetings are in Dawson City. Second set might move our direction. I hope the northern packs will reciprocate if we need a hand.”
Shaun nodded. “Makes sense. I’ll drop in on them this morning.”
“Last thing. This has to stay quiet. Remind Dawson of that as well. Keep an eye on what’s happening with the bears, but any wolf alliances are to remain hush-hush. Bears are usually reasonable creatures, but if they think they’re about to be overrun by pack, things could get out of hand.”
That made sense. Shaun scratched his head. “How come I didn’t know any of this? Did the meetings and shit just start in the last couple days?”
Again, silence for a moment. “Nah. There’s been signs for a while. You’ve had things on your mind.”
Shaun swore. That was bullshit, and they both knew it.
The light laughter on the other end of the line was both annoying and reassuring, it was so Evan. “Look. You have a good idea here. Roll with it. Forget the past and move forward. Oh, and have a great time with Gem, okay? Shit. Gotta run. The screw-ups are back, and I have to go put the fear of their Alpha into them. Call me if you need anything.”
Shaun hung up, feeling slightly dirty. This following-the-rules thing wasn’t…normal.
The scent of unwashed bodies struck him with the force of a brick wall. There were times having enhanced smelling ability sucked. The solid pack of people milling in front of the bar doors and blocking his path didn’t budge as he shouldered through.
He sidestepped a familiar-looking dark-haired brute already teetering drunkenly at barely noon. It was the biggest of the bears Shaun had thrown out of the Moonshine Pub only a few days ago. Obviously even the lowest class of bear was involved in these talks.
Shaun glanced down the street and considered. If he was going to be all self-sacrificing and shit, he may as well start right now. Armed with Evan’s permission—gag—Shaun turned toward the Dawson pack house.
One final concern hit as he marched toward his goal. Potential shifter wars were nothing he wanted Gem to worry about. As if crazed politics were a selling feature that would entice her to settle in the north. No, he’d have to find some way to do what he needed to without letting her know he was potentially knee deep in trouble. Situation normal, all fucked up.
She shouldn’t be upset. He hadn’t done anything wrong.
Had he?
Gem tried to remember the specific details of what they’d talked about right before she left the breakfast table.
Her stomach grumbled for the fifteenth time in the past half hour.
“Fudge.”
She opened the curtain and stared into the street. It was nearly six. She hadn’t gone downstairs to grab lunch, thinking Shaun would return at any minute. There had to be a mistake. He couldn’t have meant to leave her alone all day. Or…had he said he’d see her at supper?
Her phone rang, and she stared at the display with rising frustration. Her father. Again.
She clicked off the ringer and threw the phone on the bed.
It bounced a foot.
The small act of violence was so satisfying, she moved without thinking.
Picked up the phone, stepped back a couple additional paces. Cocked her arm and flung her cell harder than previously. It bounced higher.
Not enough. She grabbed it again, raced across the room, her back to the door and took a couple of running steps. This time when she let go, she spat out the word even louder.
“Fudge!”
The phone bounced, hit the edge of the lamp, ricocheted sideways and crashed into the garbage can. Both tipped in opposite directions, and she watched in horror as they landed, the can softly, the lamp with a terrifying crash.
“That was interesting.”
Gem twirled, covering her heated cheeks as she stared into Shaun’s laughing eyes.
“I, um…”
“Didn’t like the décor?”
There really was something happening in this northern air. Her hands shook in aggravation as she moved to clean up the mess. “I’m sorry, I don’t usually do things like that.”
Shaun was at her side, grabbing the garbage can and holding it for her. “Hey, I don’t mind. If I’m not on the receiving end of the throwing, it’s kinda fun to watch.”
She dropped another shard of pottery into the can. Great. Now she was back to entertaining people. Gem clamped her teeth together and concentrated on moving the lampshade from where it lay tangled around the side table.
He caught her wrist and held her immobile. “Hey.”
Gem sighed as she examined his face.
There was no longer amusement there. “I wasn’t trying to insult you. I think what I said came out wrong. You okay? Why are you throwing things in the first place?”
An ache pulsed inside. “My father.”
Shaun lifted her off her knees and took her to the couch. “I thought you got along with your old man.”
“I do, except for him forgetting that I’m not a baby, and that I’d like to have some control over my own life.”
Shaun leaned back, keeping her hands in his. “Did you call him?”
She shook her head. Layers of guilt, deep and colourful, had made her almost break her promise to herself and contact him. “He doesn’t know.”
Shaun frowned. “Know what?”
“About us.”
Shaun sucked in air. “Oh damn, I was going to ask you about that. I mean, I bet you’ve got all kinds of traditional shit that…I mean protocol that I should be doing. Like calling him and telling him we are mates and—”
“I don’t want to.” She couldn’t read his reaction. Was that panic or relief? “I mean, I want him to know, and he’s a great dad and all, but he’s used to getting his way, and until we figure this out…” She waved a hand between them. Oh dear, what a mess she was.
Shaun caressed her fingers. “I think I know what you mean, but I’m serious. If there’s something I can do to help, tell me?”
She nodded. “I will.”
They sat quietly for a minute, then he leaned forward, curiosity on his face.
“So, why the baseball with the phone?”
She pointed to the desk where she’d spread out her work. “I’ve been going through my notes. The information I need to gather to complete my report. And suddenly it just all seemed stupid. A total waste of time and money. I’m a small cog in a tiny wheel. What difference does it make if I do this or not?”
“Hell. Your research makes a huge difference.”
That was not what she’d expected to hear. “Really?”
Shaun’s mouth twisted into a wry grin. “Okay, earlier I said you were insane—I mean, we thought the scientist who booked the trip was insane. And we do need to talk about the details, but the actual reason you’re here isn’t the study, right? I mean, really, really why you’re here.”
Gem collapsed back against the couch to stare across at him. Her studies had originated from her interest in science and the environment, that was true. But arranging a project that required a trip that would take her as far away from home possible?
That had nothing to do with scientific discovery, and everything to do with discovering herself.
“I just want to prove I can make it on my own. For a little while.”
Shaun snorted. “And then I drop into your life, and you’re still not alone. Not even after traveling all that distance.” He lifted her knuckles and kissed them lightly. “I’m sorry for crowding you, but I’m not sorry I found you.”
Gem couldn’t talk for a moment, her throat was so tight. She nodded. “Me too. I’m just so all over the place right now—both my mind and my emotions. What if all this time they’ve all been humouring me? My professor, my fellow students? Maybe I don’t belong anywhere but protected and under the firm control of—”
“Bullshit.” Shaun leapt to his feet and towered over her. “Where the hell did that come from? Where’s the woman who less than a week ago told me and my wolf to cool our jets?”
She stared in shock. “I didn’t say that to you.”
He laughed. “No, you told me it was ‘more appropriate to continue with my usual systematic preparations and consider our attachment to be on a temporary hiatus’.”
Gem cradled her head in her hands. “I can’t believe I said that when I really didn’t want to send you away. I also don’t want to make my father unhappy, but him calling me all the time, and emailing—I wish he wouldn’t, and yet I miss him terribly. It’s so confusing.”
A pair of dusty shoes moved into her line of vision as he squatted in front of her. “I’m with you on that one, love. I’ve never been so wishy-washy before in my fucking, I mean, my entire life.”
They stared at each other, and a tiny strand of electricity slid from where his hands rested on her knees. The sensation wasn’t sexual, not this time. It was cool and calming. Like a hands-on application of peace, and Gem leaned her head against his shoulder.
They sat like that for a while, breathing slowly. Drawing strength from each other. Finally, he wrapped an arm around her and changed position to sit at her side. They leaned back, her head on his chest, his hands stroking her hair, her cheek. Her neck.
“Surprise, surprise—there are layers to this mate thing.” Shaun spoke quietly.
Gem had never experienced anything like it before. “I don’t feel so worried anymore.”
“It’s the connection between us. Being mates will help us through all kinds of situations. I’ve heard others talk about it, but man—that was cool. Totally new.”
Mates had many deep levels of connection, and in the midst of her other concerns, she’d completely forgotten something. “Shaun, can you hear me talk to you?”
His soft laugh stroked her. “Umm, yeah?”
“No, not this way.” She sat up and turned to face him. “In your head.”
“Hell. I haven’t.” Shaun stopped and stared at her, obviously attempting to say something. She waited.
He waited.
Nothing happened.
Shaun grunted in frustration. “It’s not working. Maybe we won’t have a mate connection like that. It’s one of those things, some do, some don’t. Or we need more practice.”
That didn’t make sense. “But when we made love the first time, I heard you.”
“Really?”
“I told you, remember?”
His mouth opened, then closed and his gaze darted away. “Umm, no. Forgot…about that.”
Sadness hit again, the tranquility of the previous moments diluted by a sense of loss. “Do you ever think we’ll be able to?”
There was a trace of something—worry? fear?—on his face, right before he smiled and tweaked her nose. “We might need to exercise more or something. Remember, we only met a few days ago. And we haven’t had the chance to do a lot of things, not even go for a run together. Let’s give it time.”
She still felt as if there was something he wasn’t telling her, but after the closeness they’d shared, she didn’t want to damage their fragile intimacy.
The rumbling in her stomach provided as good a topic change as anything.
&nbs
p; He pulled her to her feet. “Sounds as if we need supper, then we have to pack. I suggest we head out tomorrow.”
Gem moved toward her suitcase. “Really? The herd is that close?”
“No, but remember I mentioned Chicken? We’re going to wait there for a bit. It should be a little quieter than here and more things to look around at. We’ve kind of done Dawson to death.”
He made himself busy. Gem watched in confusion as he untied and tied his laces. Twice. What was going on?
“Shaun?”
He snapped his head up. “Yup? Ready to go?”
She hurried to finish changing. “In a minute. By the way, where were you today? I thought we were going to go do something. When you didn’t come back, I was worried.”
Pacing. He was definitely pacing. “Sorry about that. Just got caught up talking with people. That’s all.”
Suspicion grew. “What people?”
“People.” He glanced at his watch. “Oh my, look at time. If we want to find a seat we’d better—”
“Shaun, where were you?”
He reached for her hand, and she reluctantly allowed him to take it. “I was talking to some of the locals, and I lost track of the time. Sorry.”
His dark eyes shone with sincerity. Then he switched topics, becoming utterly charming and entertaining for the rest of the evening. As much as she’d loved the closeness they had shared, there was something marring the joy of it.
She still wanted to know where he’d gone.
Chapter Ten
The expression of delight on Gem’s face was so endearing Shaun found himself tripping as he walked down the street by her side, attempting to catch every nuance. The town of Chicken was pretty cool. It had changed in the past couple of years, becoming more of a touristy getaway spot for shifters, and less one-hole-away-from-the-entrance-to-nowhere.
There was none of the gold-rush paraphernalia that was featured so prominently in Whitehorse and Dawson. Town council and the planning board weren’t trying to impress visitors with historical tidbits. With the number of packs, prides and clans that made their home in the area, the goal was to maintain positive relations among the various factions. That resulted in a multitude of coffee shops, boutiques and half a dozen bakeries all piping glorious scents onto Main Street.
